I have a question, and I’ve been agonizing over how to ask this without sounding like a jerk. I recall during one of the chapters (pretty sure it was chapter 30-something, but I’ve just started re-reading it again, so don’t quote me) Vili accidentally calls Dwerís ‘Lady’ or something like that and they correct him and have him call them ‘Warrior’. Do you think Dwalin and Balin called them a gender-neutral term for their parent rather than ‘Amad’?

Awww, Nonnie, this is an area that I expect is different for each person and/or Dwarf. Some NB Dwarves who are parents might prefer just to be called ‘parent’? Some may prefer ‘Amad’ or ‘Mum’. 

Bear in mind please, that I am cis. My thoughts will not address the full nuance of this discussion, and I shouldn’t be taken as an authority AT ALL on this issue. Dweris is my character, sure, but she’s fictional. I would be honoured to take a back-seat to a NB person who has lived this situation, if they feel comfortable speaking about it.

I hope and believe that a Dwarf (or in our own world, any person) can be a mother, and NOT a woman. Because otherwise we start to enter into horrible role and gender stereotypes – or we start reducing the concept of ‘motherhood’ to ‘person who gives birth’ – and that way lies bigotry and bio-essentialism, and casts negative aspersions on the validity of a whole lot of adopting parents and trans people and more.

When it comes to my character of Dweris, however, she is a NB Dwarf who uses she/her pronouns, who dislikes the word ‘Amad’… but she likes the Westron colloquialisms ‘Mum’ or ‘Ma’. She is a mum, she’s Balin and Dwalin’s mum and she loves to be their mum and freely chooses to inhabit that role… but she’s not a Dwarrowdam. If we wanted to get right into the nitty-gritty of her gender identity, we could call her agender with a slight demigender bias. 

But yeah, she’s a warrior, first and foremost. Warrior Dweris!