yubiwamonogatari:

I had some trippy thoughts last night while I was laying in bed.

I’ve been writing fanfiction and doing text-based roleplays for a decade now. A decade. Almost every day, I’ve been typing and writing in some form or another. I can think of 5 accounts on 5 different fanfiction sites over the years where I’ve uploaded work. The private RPs have an even higher wordcount. 

That’s pretty cool. That’s pretty amazing. I must’ve written, now, in the millions of words. Not that 90% of it is really worth reading, but each word is a step forwards.

I look back at little 14yr old me, banging out the most OOC, random, weebyJapanese infested shit about Naruto characters, and I’d like to thank them. I’d like to thank them for finding solace and comfort in writing for 10 years, because each “baka!” and “’ku ku ku’ chuckled Orochimaru’ and ‘Neji scowled (A/N LOL hes so HAWT right xD)’ walked me along a long, difficult path of self-discovery in writing. It laid the groundwork for what I write now, and it was important.

Sure, I’ve picked up bad habits. I repeat phrases, don’t use “said” enough, fall back on an epithet here and there, and it sure hasn’t done shit for my spelling. My writing is dialogue heavy and I can be a very, very lazy writer. 

But I’m still writing. 14yr old me saw value and comfort and something worthwhile in writing, almost every day. So did 15yr old me, and 16yr old me, and even when life seems too much and too busy and I’ll never be good enough, 24yr old me is still writing.

So here’s to every OOC Naruto fic I ever wrote. Here’s to awkward, fumbling sex scenes with impossible positions and some incomprehensible liquid for lube. Here’s to every “he grumbled, she scowled, they whispered”. Here’s to every breath huffed out, every sharp breath sucked in. Here’s to a decade of what many would call bad writing.

It is my legacy, and it does me proud.