how to radically improve ur experience on tumblr.com:
mercilessly block all Fuckers. do not reply to them, do not “justify” blocking them. the goal is to get them out of ur life, not “win” a conflict
unfollow anyone who isnt actively improving ur quality of life. u dont owe the people u follow ur attention. if they arent producing content/posts that your benefit from in some way, u dont have to stick around. its not personal.
u dont have to care at maximum capacity about everything. ppl like to signal boost and spread awareness and thats great, but its ok to just not have the energy to do that. u dont have to feel guilty about using ur blog for YOUR purposes. thats what its for
if u need to, turn anon off. theres no shame in that. it works.
if someone is raising a concern with you or reacting critically to something youve said or done, listen to them with empathy rather than getting angry. not everyone is trying to start a fight when they call u out on doing something hurtful, and if u react angrily on a knee-jerk reaction to someone who was just trying to help, ur gonna look like an asshat
if u feel like ur about to look like an asshat, its advisable to get up and do something else for a while until youve cooled down and can think rationally. u dont have to reply right away
“tone” is pretty subjective, so try not to fight with people over it
u dont have to fight with every motherfucker who says some ignorant or passive aggressive shit on ur posts. just block them. they can be wrong all by themselves.
There’s a narrative about abusers that, while rings true for probably a lot of people, falls short in my experience. Not all abusers are calculating and malicious. Some people just. Think abuse is the proper way to interact with human beings. (Can’t get someone to do what I want? Emotionally manipulate them! And then say that they’re the manipulative one!) not all abusers intend to be abusive or even know what they’re doing is abusive.
That doesn’t mean the abuse is any better for the victim. It usually means we question it more. Is it really abuse if they didn’t mean it? If they tell us they love us? If they’re not malicious? If they just don’t know any other way to behave?
Aw Yiss 