Petition to have AO3 install a ‘main pairing’ / ‘side pairing’ button. It’s really disheartening to have 80% of the fics in your section be pair-the-spare background mentions for other ships.
I think he was a lot warmer in his demeanour than our chilly diamond Thranduil. We know he was impatient – heck, that’s why he died at Dagorlad, through impatience. He didn’t wait for the signal.
I also think he had a real open dislike and resentment for the Noldor, heh. After the fall of Doriath, we know that the Sindar didn’t want to stay with Gil-galad and the rest of that lot, and instead they left the safety of Lindon and moved east. I suspect Oropher was all ‘fuck you, i’m out. Gonna be a king far far away from you crazy tragic murdering nutbags and your crazy world-destroying dramas.’
Basically, my mental picture is of an Elf who doesn’t have the icy demeanour, long-hidden wraths and griefs, and incredible ancient endurance of Thranduil. Instead, my Oropher was a quick-speaking, quick-thinking, witty and personable sort of Elf, with an almost-Manlike lack of patience, and TONS of Sindar pride. I suspect he was very well-liked, a very popular Elf. I mean, the Silvan Elves made him King, after all.
Despite people in Canada/New England feeling a strong pride and sense of ownership surrounding moose,Europeans have the exact same moose. English speakers completely fucked up the naming conventions for the animal because we fuck EVERYTHING up.
The Eurasian elk is the exact same animal as the moose. It is Alces alces. Here is a depiction of a Swedish soldier riding a moose into war in the 1700s.
Figure 1. The Swedish army used moose as cavalry animals at various points in history. I don’t know what the armored boar is all about.
However, the English caused a lot of confusion by originally calling it an “elk.” This comes from the older English word eolc/eolh, which shares roots with elhaz/algiz, which, if you know your runes, is the antler-looking rune ᛉ.
So the English had moose, they just called them elks. But there haven’t been any moose in the UK since the Bronze Age, so the English just started using the word “elk” to apply to “really big deer” – and they forgot that there was a specific animal they used to call “elk.”
Today, modern people from the United Kingdom have overwritten their own understanding of “elk” with Elk (USA), which are wapiti (Cervus canadensis).
This is a wapiti, which everyone calls “elk” now:
Figure 2. The wapiti, or elk
(Cervus canadensis)
“Hmmmmmmm,” British people may be saying right now. “That is a vaguely familiar animal. I feel like that is a STAG. I feel like it needs to be selling me a bottle of whiskey.”
YES. The wapiti is very similar to the UK’s red deer. This is what UK people call a “stag” :
Figure 3. A stag, or British red deer (Cervus elaphus) – actually slightly less red than the wapiti.
The explanation for this is that the UK colonizers found the wapiti in the USA, but the problem was that red deer were rarely seen by the common people at that time, so they thought they were Unusually Big Deer. And so the colonizing bastards said “Hey, what are these, Nigel?” and Nigel was like “IDK, stags?” and they were like “Yeah but they look really big, don’t they?” and Nigel was like “well, what about calling them big deer, then” and they called them “elk” which at that point had come to mean “big deer” in English.
Cervus elaphus (name meaning: deer deer) and Cervus canadensis (name meaning: Canadian deer) are very similar animals, and many people muddy the waters by calling Cervus elaphus an“elk.” The word ran all around the world, and American influence meant that it is losing its own definition in its own land.
Cervus canadensis
are also found in Asia, where the subspecies are called wapiti, from the Shawnee word meaning “white rump.” This is to prevent confusion. If you see one in Mongolia, you must properly call it a “Canadian deer, aka ‘white butt,’ from the indigenous North American word” to prevent this kind of confusion.
Figure 4. The global range of
Cervus canadensis, the wapiti, or elk.
Okay. Enough about what happened to the word “elk”. The point is that other European countries have reasonable amounts of moose, which they call elk. The “Eurasian elk” is Alces alces, the moose.
Figure 5. A Swedish army representative wearing Swedish flags and riding a Swedish moose. ALSO, SOMEHOW, THE MOST CANADIAN THING EVER
So when the English settlers colonized Canada and New England, they continued their long history of fucking the fuck up. But in the middle of this, they saw Eurasian elks, had no idea what they were, and went with the local Algonquin word “moose.”
They also called the same moose “elk” at the same time, and went into a slight confusion where they tried to differentiate them into “grey moose” and “black moose” and “black elk,” but when the dust settled, the world was left with British-colonizers-turned-Americans applying random names to everything, and winning. Wapiti are now called elk, and now red deer are also kind of elk. Eurasian elk are now moose. Wikipedia attempts to explain the moose fuckups here and the elk fuckups here.
The word “moose” is Algonquin in origin. This is why it doesn’t pluralize like English words do. In English, the plural of “goose” is “geese” and thus many people feel that the plural of “moose” should be “meese.” However, “moose” is not an English word. If you wanted to treat it as one, you could remember that moose are hoofed animals of a specific class, and you could follow the rules already laid down for moose relatives: The English plural of elk is elk. The English plural of deer is deer. The English plural of sheep is sheep. You can call multiple moose “meese” if you want to. But that’s why it is the way it is.
Figure 6. The global range of moose, or Eurasian elk.
So there you have it. Moose are an important, scary and hilarious part of Canadian/New Englander culture, but they aren’t just ours – we share them with Eurasian cultures too.
Figure 7: a Russian moose farmer with a promising crop
Figure 8: Finnish people provide a dark warning. “Hirvikolari” is a specific Finnish word describing a road accident involving a moose. There are many dashcam videos of hirvikolari on the Internet.
And now think about all the amazing Moose News you have access to now! You can now enjoy stories of moose destruction, mayhem and general fuckery SO MUCH MORE when you realize they aren’t about deer:
Figure 9: every line of this story is perfect?
Actually, you know what?
That’s still the most Canadian thing ever.
As someone born in Northern Canada, I vote we adopt “hirvikolari” post haste.
@rinkamari … how do we pronounce that one, as non-Finnish speakers?
In that one painting, is that an armored boar behind the moose?!!!!! @determamfidd
is this telling me (amongst lots of awesome moose-related things) that Sweden had battle-pigs in the 1700s
*professor voice* HHHMMMMMM, I SEE I SEE… HMMMMM. Yes, yes, excellent, a wonderful premise, good and fluffy and a bit cheeky, with an intriguing and uncommon use of Sarcastic!Thranduil…
(IN OTHER WORDS I LOVE IT I WANT IT I LOVE IT TO BITS, NONNIE)
ANON AGAIN??? why did i tlel you i was drunk, i apologize. i am making fool of self. love everything you’ve created and this little mini community, it fills my cold angry center with joy, everyone here is beautiful. good night
AWWW NONNIE, LOVELY DEAR SLIGHTLY-TANKED NONNIE.
Heh. I love everyone in this bar 😉
(me rn – and yeah, that is an apron)
i desperately DESPERATELY need a musical/musician gigolas au, I don’t mind admitting. I know shit about Band AU, bc I am a string player and a vocalist, so if it =/= orchestra or choir, i am a newborn baby deer.
BUT I WOULD READ THE SHIT OUT OF ANY MUSICAL/MUSICIAN GIGOLAS AU, I DON’T MIND TELLING YOU
Orchestra Au w lead oboist Legolas and double-bass player Gimli? Gimme.
Choir Au with bass Gimli (the only one who can keep the others in tune dammit) and soloist tenor Legolas? Gimme.
String Quartet Au with First Violinist Legolas, Second Violinist Aragorn, Violist Eomer and Cellist Gimli?
Gimme.
Barbershop Quartet Au with Bass Gimli and Lead Legolas? Gimme.
A capella Au, a nontet (9 singers) called ‘The Fellowship” GUESS WHO IS THE BARITONE, GUESS WHO SINGS TENOR
Classical soloist Au with opera countertenor Legolas and pianist (and company accompanist) Gimli? Gimme.
Stage Au with renowned bass-baritone Gimli and side-stage dresser Legolas?
Gimme.
Heck, if anyone thinks that any of these are worth looking at/investigating, you are more than welcome to em, or stick them on the 1000 Fics Gigolas challenge. DO IT! MAKE ALL THE GIGOLAS HAPPEN. ALWAYS.
I want all of this
I need a fic where Gimli and Legolas play bassoon and oboe respectively and the poor band director has to deal with the chaos in the double reeds (so many contests to see who can breathe the least!). But eventually they bond over reeds.
yesssss fucking perfection
I THOUGHT OF MORE
composer!Gimli and conductor!Legolas
Piano trio AU, where Aragorn is the pianist, Legolas is violin and Gimli is cellist, and we don’t agree on the tempo EVER
Opera!AU, where Legolas is a countertenor and Gimli is the bass (and Handel is a sadist)
Mozart Horn Concerto!AU where Gimli is the horn soloist and Legolas is the conductor and stop showing off you bloody brass-brained idiot
Lieder/art-song AU: we have a recital to put together in two weeks, I know I’m a baritone but can we please sing anything other than Schubert, Vaughan-Williams or Mahler PLEASE I’m begging you here (Legolas as the pianist ofc)
SWAP IT and Legolas as the tenor and Gimli as the pianist, and SHIT NO I WILL NOT BLOODY PLAY SCHUBERT’S ERLKONIG AT THAT HELLISH SPEED are you bonkers
String Quartet AU in which Cellist!Gimli will kill a man if they have to play Pachelbel’s Canon one more fucking time
ALL THE GIGOLAS MUSICIAN AUS. ALL OF THEM
Competitive conservatory students AU. They’re both gunning for first chair/concert master.
Gimli struggles with solfege, Legolas struggles with written theory. They tutor each other.
There’s only one one practice room available and they both think they deserve it more than the other.
Gimli is an education major and he’s studying Legolas’s instrument. And gets tutoring/assistance.
One is the singer. The other is the accompanist. They disagree on interpretation.
Gimli as the piano tuner all the other students look down on, until Legolas realizes how fucking talented Gimli’s ear is.
GLORIOUSSSS
i am in such need of these i stg, gimme gimme gimme
Composer!Gimli and singer!Legolas – bloody DO IT LIKE I WROTE IT
Jazz band AU: Saxophonist Gimli and lead singer Legolas – “Stop playing your fill or your punches OVER my melody, you jerk, they’re meant to go IN-BETWEEN THE PHRASES!!!”
Opera AU: this is my worst language, I can’t fucking sing in this language, HELP ME or our big duet is ruined
renowned singing teacher Gimli giving a masterclass, holy shit that tall blond is one incredible baroque tenor why isn’t this guy singing the repertoire that fits him, why are they pushing him towards the heavy romantics????
We’re the Middle-Earth equivalent of the Three Tenors, known as the Three Hunters, and you keep on extending and extending and EXTENDING the rubato in the final verse of O Sole Mio you selfish prick, don’t you need to BREATHE
And don’t forget the piano piece for four hands….
*GASP*
YOU’RE A GENIUS
Legolas is trying to start an a’capella group because this University doesn’t have one, but he just can’t find a vocal percussionist. Then he hears Gimli messing around on the quad one day and Holy Crap How Do I Convince You To VP For My Group!?!?!
Gimli is the drummer in a band and has noticed this guy always shows up to the concerts with a balloon in his hands. One day he catches the guy after a show to ask why. Turns out Legolas is Deaf and loves feeling the vibrations from music with strong rhythms and bass lines; the balloon amplifies the vibrations. Gimli is his favorite local drummer.
You are my vocal coach and you are awesome, but sometimes I hate you because this breathing exercise is ridiculous and I swear you’re only doing this so you can laugh at me.
Our choir is going on a tour and while we kinda knew each other before, now that I’m sitting next to you on the tour bus I’m really starting to enjoy hanging out with you, and oops! Didn’t expect that crush!
I don’t speak your language, and you don’t speak mine, but we’ve both been singing songs from Carmen back and forth to each other and I never want to stop.
Jesus Nota, you’re amazing with AUs!
I want an AU of drum & bugle corps training. Days on the field, nights in the weight room. On the road from competition to competition. One in the color guard, the other as drum major…
I like the way you think!
OSU Marching Band AU: We both made it through the most stressful tryouts. And we’ve spent ages going over the formations to make sure we were perfectly in step. I am a Professional and therefore not going to stop playing, but I just want to shout at the top of my lungs that MY BOYFRIEND IS DOTTING THE I!!!
I always hear you playing in the practice rooms and you always sound so good, but what do you mean you can’t read sheet music? You seriously learned all that by ear?!
“MY BOYFRIEND IS DOTTING THE I!!!” – the magic words that go directly to my heart. XD
And the there’s the high school version, where the freshman is having trouble memorizing his music, or figuring out how to march eight to five! Thank goodness there’s a squad leader to help him out during the two hours of down time every day at band camp!
Legolas and Gimli play single reed instruments and there’s a baroque festival at their college/university. So they have to find a way to while away the bored hours while all their friends are rehearsing.
Legolas has 124 measures of rest during The Hound Of Heaven and his fingers are itching to braid the hair of the flautist who sits in front on him. (The flautist, for the record, has been trying not to turn around and gaze at Legolas.)
It’s a festival focusing on contemporary composers, and musician Gimli is complaining that nothing the artist has created is different from the last fifty years of orchestral music. He doesn’t realize that Legolas is standing behind him. (Contrarily, Gimli has a debut piece and Legolas pulls a Saint-Saens and walks out altogether.)
Sectionals. Arguments about bowing.
The two bond over being annoyed by the trumpet section. (Where Aragorn and Boromir are having a high-note contest and are taking through rehearsal.)
Legolas and Gimli live in the same apartment building. Gimli has been playing Khachaturian at 3 am and it’s driving Legolas mad. So Legolas begins playing Rachmaninov. Loudly.
Legolas teaches Gimli eurythmics, and comes up with a new and interesting way for Gimli to internalize the beat. 😉
HOLY SHIT IT GOT BETTER
AND BY ‘BETTER’ I MEAN STUPENDOUS
omg mentioning Khachaturian makes me think of a percussionist!Gimli AU! He suffers a lot of disdain from the rest of the orchestra, including Legolas. You know the drill, “over here are the REAL musicians”, lots of jokes about the percussion section not being able to read music or even hold the beat… and then their orchestra is playing Khachaturian’s Sabre Dance and dear sweet merciful SHIT HE’S ACTUALLY BREATHTAKINGLY AMAZING
rules: tag nine users you want to get to know better.
Relationship status: Married Favorite colors: Peacock Blue, red, grey, black Pets: An ancient collection of geriatric feline conditions wrapped in tortoiseshell fur. Also known as The Duchess. Chapstick or lipstick: atm shea butter! I got a present from my bestie 🙂 Last song I listened to: O cessate mi piagarmi, by Scarlatti – I’m teaching it to one of my students, and wanted to play a decent version for her this afternoon. Favorite tv show: Umm. Don’t really watch much telly. The Gruen Transfer, followed by The Checkout, possibly. I like informative but informal shows. First fandom: LOTR. Hobbies: Fanfiction, composing, angsting about fanfiction and composing.
tagging: You wanna do the thingy? DO THE THINGY! :DDD
Dets wrote and performed a GORGEOUS piece of music to fit the words of a very special song in the newest chapter of Azhâr! Thank you so much for this amazing piece of art!!!
*blushes* It was my absolute pleasure, thank you Yubi! I am still just so glad you like it!!
Aw Yiss 