darthstitch:

So the first thing one needs to remember is that this mess is really all Legolas and Gimli’s fault.

Beren had his Luthien, Tuor had his Idril, Aragorn had his Arwen …. you had all that romantic, epic, sweeping tragic, star-crossed romances that bards will warble happily over.  

Of course, epic romance kind of goes out the window when one has to deal with a scruffy, hopelessly adorable Ranger who will steal his Queen away for what was supposed to be a romantic picnic near the waterfalls of Ithilien but ends up on a wild adventure involving Corsairs and pirates and said pirates now shuddering with terror at the name of Arwen Evenstar and how perilous she was with the sword Hadhafang gleaming bright in her hands…. no, wait, that’s still fairly epic.  Aragorn was insufferable with his pride and adoration of his beloved Queen for months.

But we digress.

Legolas.  Gimli.  An equally epic romance that caused an Elven-king to have kittens, a near bloodbath in the Halls of Erebor because a Dwarf-lord also had kittens at the prospect of an Elven son-in-law and one Ranger-turned-King who will still down practically a barrel of the best Shire ale when he recalls the wedding.  Because, of course, he would be the long-suffering Best Man for both his dearest friends.

Yes. It was during the wedding of Legolas and Gimli that an Idea was born. 

An Idea that would lead to the legendary partnership of a Ranger and a Hobbit and that same Ranger partnering with a Wood-Elf pretending to be a Hobbit. 

It’s a long story that takes two hours to tell. 

The best teller of this tale is Harding Welsh, Dwarf of Erebor and current Chief of the Rangers of the North, who are currently now composed of the Dunedain, the Rohirrim, Wood-Elves who are as daft as their Prince Legolas, Hobbits and Dwarves, Elrond’s Twins and of course, Legolas and Gimli as well, because “Aragorn-laddie, it’s not as if my ghivashele and I wouldn’t enjoy an adventure hewing orc-heads now and then.”

It was the whole romance that gave rise to the Idea in the first place.  Why couldn’t the Free Peoples of Middle-earth continue to work together in much the same way when they united in order to overthrow the Shadow of Mordor?  It wasn’t as if evil was going away forever with Sauron gone.  It wasn’t as if they all didn’t learn how much stronger they all were when they’d set aside their differences and opened their hearts  and learned that the best sight in all of creation would be Thranduil somehow succumbing to an alcoholic beverage more potent than Dorwinion wine and happily nattering to Gloin about baby Legolas’ escapades.

This would be during the second wedding feast for the happy couple, upon their return to their respective homes and families.

It begins this way (as soon as Welsh has downed at least a pint of the best ale from Dale-town and smoked a pipe of Longbottom Leaf.)

The Ranger Benton Fraser first came to the Shire on the trail of the killers of his father…

– tbc –

Look, @determamfidd updated Sansukh and it finally gave a much needed kick in the head to my crackfic plot bunnies.  Plus, it’s a tradition in the Blanket Fort that when she gives us more Sansukh, I end up cracking liek whoa.

Wish me luck!

I’M DYING OF LAUGHTER, MY SIDES HURT AUGHHHHH STITCH YOU DARLING ILU