Thrandy will get Leggy back for that diary incident on his begetting day ‘ ah my beloved son,meany years ago on this day your mother and I laid as one and blessed you into the world’ ‘Ada i-‘ ‘it was a very passionate affair if i recall correctly’ ‘Ada i’m sorry please st-‘ ‘in fact it was meany passionate affairs that night’ ‘OH VALAR I BEG YOU STOP!’ but he dose not,the whole day is this.

oh my GOD

GOD

Nonnie, you know something

this is reminding me that Elves do not in fact celebrate their birthdays, they celebrate their conception instead

and so, once a year, Thranduil would have done this. Once a year. ONCE A YEAR

“…SO THAT WAS THE SIXTEENTH TIME, AND NO LUCK. BUT THEN THE SEVENTEENTH TIME, YOU WERE MADE AND IT WAS SO JOYOUS, SO BEAUTIFUL. WE WERE UPSIDE DOWN IN A TREE AT THE TIME, THERE WAS WHIPPED CREAM AND GLITTER GLUE EVERYWHERE. I’D BROUGHT THE CLOTHESPEGS AND SPATULA, AND YOUR MOTHER WAS-”

“Auugh, Adar, please. STOP.”

“MANY HAPPY RETURNS, ION-NIN!!!”

(ONCE

YEAR)

The obvious continuation to the ask about Legolas getting a piercing: WHERE is he getting it? (I’m thinking somewhere usually covered by clothing…)

yesssss mmm yes okay then, um

how about Gimli designs something especially for him, because a normal downstairs piercing for a Dwarf is a little… weighty for an Elf’s bits. (DWARF DESIGN TENDS TO BE P CHUNKY AFTER ALL). And so Legolas ends up with the prettiest, most delicate goddamn pieces in mithril (bc light but also unbreakable), a frenum ladder or something like that

heheheheh mithril on his bits, the shiniest most expensive trouser region in Middle Earth, snrk ‘that was a kingly gift!’

also Gimli would be adamant about those nipple piercings, bc Legolas has earned those, they’re a warrior’s mark and isn’t Legolas a hero DAMMIT

Gimizh/Laerophen anon here. Don’t know if you have me pegged or if you have other suspicious Gimizh/Laerophen anons. X-D I didn’t mean to imply Laerophen would be a creepster! I was thinking more of Gimizh suddenly realizing his cookie-thieving buddy is smokin’…. and developing an uncomfortable adolescent crush… and maybe Laerophen gets ALL ANGSTY and is “OMG MY LITTLE ONE IS GOING TO GROW OLD….” and goes to Legolas all “how do you COPE?” Glad to see you have plans, in any case. ^_^

neh, I got it wrong! But very happy to hear from you nevertheless, Nonnie!! *hugs*

Yes, I have plans! I certainly will have to handle the situation with care and forethought, but PLANS ARE A-PLOTTED 😀

Leggles and Arwen comparing their mortal hubbies. Like, Booty tension is a big one. And skill with hands wink wink.

Legolas: MORTALS, RIGHT

Arwen: *fans self* UNF YES

(meanwhile Elrond and Thranduil are carefully making earplugs out of cotton wool)

OK, this time the gloves are off. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LAEROPHEN GOES OFF CARRYING COOKIES TO EREBOR AFTER AN UNINTENTIONAL LAPSE OF A YEAR OR TWO BETWEEN VISITS AND SUDDENLY REALIZES LITTLE GIMIZH IS ALL GROWN UP

*squints* Hmmmm I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS AS TO WHO THIS MIGHT BE 😉

Have to wait and see, Nonnie!

(one thing I will say: nothing will happen immediately. To remain healthy and non-creeptastic, the relationship has to develop from an adult-child friendship to an adult-adult friendship. Though Laerophen may have some prior experience in such matters, being immortal and also so much older than his younger brother, Gimizh does not. So, yeah, if this is a shippy question, there’s not gonna be first-thing ‘oh no he’s hot’ moment, my apologies! Give him a few years!)

Emotional drunk Leggy who after too much ale is sitting by the bar alone,gazing into the distance,tears in his eyes. Aragorn approaches him and asks what’s wrong. Legolas wipes his eyes and proclaims ‘i simply can not express my admiration for Gimli’s beauty Aragorn! his hair is like fire that is cool in my hands,it is like touching tame fire Aragorn!!!’ he sobs and continues to talk abut how beautiful Gimli is and how he can hardly deal with such beauty. Aragorn should have known better by now.

Aragorn: *vaguely pats Legolas’ back*

Legolas: AND HIS HANDS, HOW CAN I EVER ENCOMPASS THE WONDER THAT ARE HIS HANDS, THEY CAN CREATE SUCH MARVELS AND YET THEY CAN UNMAKE ME IN MOMENTS

Aragorn: *wearily* yes, I know, they’re very nice

Legolas: HIS EYES, HIS EYES, THEY DANCE LIKE THE GLOW OF FIREFLIES UPON AMBER UPON WARM SUMMER EVENINGS

Aragorn: that’s… nice.

Legolas: HIS LIPS ARE SO SOFT *blubbers* THEY’RE SO SOFT ARAGORN

Aragorn: That must be… nice.

Legolas: AND HIS ARSE, OH THAT POWERFUL ARSE, NO WONDER OF THIS WORLD CAN COMPARE TO ITS STRENGTH AND BEAUTY, IT FILLS MY PALMS LIKE-

Aragorn: *hurriedly signalling the barman to cut Legolas off* THAT’S NICE

I have a question Dets, have you listened to Dain’s theme yet on the Battle of the Five Armies Soundtrack? It’s one of my favorite pieces of score from the films and I know how much you love Dain so I figured you’d enjoy it if you don’t already. If you haven’t listened to it, the track is called Ironfoot

I SURE HAVE

BADASS BAGPIPES FTW

Imagine if you will, Legolas with a diary where he waxes poetically abut Gimli’s body hair. Three page long poems abut Gimli’s pubes, a sonnet for his leg hair, a long glorious ballad abut his fiery chest hair, now imagine Thranduil finding and reading this diary when he comes back home.

~~to which legolas later murmurs: ‘i highly recommend it’~~

Everyone thinks Gimli and Leggy’s relationship is in it’s honeymoon phase, everyone thinks that after a wile they’ll settle down and stop flirting all the time and kissing every 5 minutes but soon they’ll see they are dead WRONG they act like that FOREVER when Gimli is an old dwarf he STILL grabs leggy’s butt every chance he gets and Leggy still freaking talks everyone’s head off abut how hot Gimli is and how much he loves him AND they still make out all the dame time, in front of everyone.

i would read a zillion words about this

how Legolas sees the first grey hairs in Gimli’s mane, and Gimli thinks SHIT SHIT SHIT here comes the mortality-conversation AGAIN

but no

Legolas immediately has to jump his bones BC SILVER FOX GIMLI MAKES HIS ARROWS FLY STRAIGHT AND TRUE, iykwim

Gimli becoming as regal and dignified-looking as any of the Dwarf-kings of old, to the point where young dwarves are gasping HOLY COW and get all tongue-tied: his beard glittering, hair growing ever longer and twined in unfamiliar braids, wisdom and humour in his old eyes and nobility in his slow and heavy gait

and then he ruins the effect by pinching Legolas’ bum

THIS NEEDS TO BE A PROMPT FOR THE GIGOLAS 1000 FICS CHALLENGE

JUST SAYING

Okay, but Dets. DETS. Legolas getting a piercing.