As Boromir says, ‘Gondor has no conditioner, Gondor needs no conditioner’
Aragorn in the films: reluctant hero who is weary of accepting the crown of his ancestors
Aragorn in the books: literally uses the palantír to give sauron the figurative middle finger because fuck you im the heir of isildur bitch remember this sword I FIXED IT
According to those early drafts published by Tolkien’s son, Trotter has basically the same badass dialogue and “I could kill you in a second” attitude as Aragorn.
Just imagine what we could have gotten:
Trotter is not some Tyrion-Lannister-style badass or axe-wielding Gimli. He’s a lil hobbit with big clumsy wooden feet and all the fighting skills of a seven-year-old who just struts around like he’s a 6-foot tall master swordsman heir of Isildur.
Like a chihuahua who believes he’s a mastiff.
Also, in that first draft he’s called “Trotter” because his wooden feet make loud “Clop-trot” sounds whenever he walks (ideal for ranger stealth missions.)
TL; DR: I need a Lord of the Rings AU where everything is the same but Strider is replaced by Trotter
Okay but if anyone made a Lotr theater/ opera company au then Aragorn would absolutely be the tired stage technician who is so done with everyones bullshit but still runs around and checks on everyone and reminds them to drink their water.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEED AT LIIIIGHT SPEEEEEEEED
You don’t understand how perfect this is. Or maybe you do, I don’t know, imma talk about it anyway.
Bc the stage manager just shows up behind the baby-actors and takes care of them while also scaring them half to death. The Stage Manager looks kinda evil and probably hasn’t showered in a while but knows literally everything. The Stage Manager is the rallying cry when tech gets hard, they are the threat when people mess around, they are the source of safety protocols on late nights, they are the person that the Producer *cough*Elrond*cough* looks to for certainty that everything will be ok. The stage manager is the one that steps up. They are the one to face down everyone else’s problems and pick up everyone else’s slack. They are the one with ancient knowledge that saves the day at the last minute. They are the one with the unexpected dramatic-streak when they’re dealing with jerks. They are the one who you’re pretty sure hasn’t slept since rehearsal started and you know for a fact could kill you nine different ways if they chose to, one of which is just their glare. and then.
then.
opening night.
The Stage Manager shows up, showered and dressed to the nines, and is crowned with glory by the producers for achieving this thing while everyone else cheers and throws flowers.
Hey I am enjoying your re-read! Thank you for sending me the asks, it’s great to hear what you’re enjoying about the story!
ARAGORN IS 90000000000% DONE, he sits upon a throne of Doneness and wears a crown of ‘OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE’. I love Aragorn the Third Wheel, he is my fave Aragorn 🙂
@determamfidd here’s Aragorn after the long awaited gigolas kiss
This scene made me act almost identically to Aragorn lol
AHHHHH DARLING STRIDERPANTS, it is okay, it is over now (lol not it isn’t, it’s about to get worse hahahaha)
THIS IS AWESOME – I love his expression SO MUCH – just so much weariness and relief! THANK THE VALAR, I can finally FINALLY FINALLY stop pretending i don’t know what these two honourable DORKS are thinking, finally I can sleep without suffocating in an atmosphere made of 90% longing and 10% idiocy
you’ve got his body language down SO PERFECTLY –
he is so so Done, his new title will be King of Gondor Arnor and DONE
i can practically hear the thud as his head hits the mast! And the flop of his arms, the sag of his back, lmao – such a brilliant choice of pose, and I ADORE YOUR SHADING, ahhh! This is so awesome, thank you forever and ever and ever!!
AHHHHH asldkjfghlajhsdfa YOU ARE MADE OF PUREST UNTARNISHED AWESOME, THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH
heheheh Gimizh ❤ my tiny terror child! DIS dear lord I am so cruel to her and she is so damned. awesome.
Eeeee so thrilled you liked the way I took the canon sections and twisted them! The Frodo and Arwen meeting has always struck me as a bit too loose, so I pulled it tighter, and the Eomer-enters-as-King moment has always felt too pat. I mean, the guy was 3rd Marshall of the Riddermark – Theodred was the one groomed for the crown, not Eomer. So, I made it more about him going ‘WHOA THIS IS REALLY. REALLY OVERWHELMING.’ – and then the Gimli scene is his escape from that, heh! (ALSO GIMLI YOU SMOOTHIE. ‘My heart is given to the morning’ YOU SMOOTH SMOOTH BASTARD.)
YEP, THAT’S RIGHT. BOROMIR’S ‘WHITE TOWER OF ECTHELION’ SPEECH. I WENT THERE. I REFERENCED IT.
(“I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn?
The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?”)
BECAUSE BOROMIR. THAT’S WHY. ARAGORN DID NOT EVER FORGET.
oh you just know Pippin and Glorfindel ended up dancing on the table together at some point. 😀
HEHEHEHEH DAIN. Balin is clever af, but Dain understands people :)))
*ducks* ooohboy. I’m working as fast as I can on the next one! ALSO THERE WILL BE A SONG. I hope a new song makes up for the cliffie! SORRYYYYY NONNIE SORRY.
*hugs* you are absolutely wonderful – augh thank you SO SO much!!
Aw Yiss 