tehri:

determamfidd:

wow, can you be any more neurotypical. Lo and behold, I have been blessed by the presence of the Thorin-Is-Scum anon once again, this time poorly disguised as another ‘Guest’. I am lowkey impressed at your dedication – did you really wade through nearly 400K just to tell me how much you despise and hate people with depression and MI, and how unworthy they are of anyone’s esteem or admiration? How tiresome you find their struggles? 

Go away. You are unwelcome in any part of my life, and that includes FFN. GO. AWAY.

(for those who cannot read the very small pic, transcript under the cut. Though I honestly wouldn’t bother. I’m only posting it here bc I am angry and need to yell at them to FUCK THE FUCK OFF, and I can’t do that on FFN.)

Keep reading

Far as I’ve honestly picked up, Thorin is the type of character who cannot see much of a reason to love himself – never has, and maybe never will. He doesn’t like himself as a person, and the more he looks at his past, the more he sees failure after failure after failure. His family, however, do not. They see the son who picked up the pieces and kept a broken people going. They see the brother who had to live for everyone else but himself. They see the uncle who struggled to keep the family alive. They see the cousin who had to keep thinking ten steps ahead just to keep his people alive.

And then there is Bilbo. Bilbo who saw everything that Thorin never could. Bilbo who saw someone honest and genuinely kind, someone who had been hurt by the world and so desperately wanted to punch back for a change that he decided to go up against a dragon. Bilbo who saw someone who so desperately loved his family that he would fight anyone and anything that threatened them. Bilbo who saw someone who wasn’t a king, but who was just Thorin – a dwarf who, as it seemed to Thorin himself, had nothing left in the world to lose.

The important part? Bilbo loved him, loved that dwarf that Thorin couldn’t see in himself. Even as Thorin seemed to lose himself, Bilbo didn’t give up on him. When even Thorin’s cousins and nephews didn’t speak up against him or try to stop him, Bilbo did, because he knew that the Thorin he fell in love with would hate himself for what he was doing.

Thorin is that person who was only kept going by the needs of others – if he didn’t have any family left, if his sisters and nephews and cousins were all dead, he would probably have given up. He didn’t live for himself, he didn’t think of his own wants and needs. It was always about others.

The way I’ve read Sansûkh, Thorin is slowly learning to love himself, and to live for himself as well as for others. He listens to his family. He lets himself be his mother’s little stormcloud, he lets himself be his father’s son. He lets himself be a big brother and an uncle. He relaxes more. And once he learns that Bilbo loves him, he starts to look for whatever it was that drew the hobbit to him in the first place. And he ends up learning to love himself a little more, because Bilbo does. There has to be something, right?

Thorin is and forever will be my favourite character in the Tolkien Legendarium. For his deeds, as well as for his personality. I love the pompous noble Thorin in the book, and I love the withdrawn and anxious and mentally ill Thorin in the movies. And I absolutely adore the mix of all this that appears in Sansûkh.

And just to add something. No, Gimli did not “get over” his issues. He learned, and is still learning. He is working on it, he is working on everything. And he has help to do so, help that he was willing to accept. The difference between Gimli and Thorin is that Thorin had to process everything alone before he was ready to actually accept that help. Gimli is what Thorin is not – open, more willing to change. Ever heard the saying that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks? Thorin is that old dog, and he is still having difficulties understanding and learning, whereas Gimli is the pup who is more open to trying something new.

thank you, tehri. you put this better than i ever could have dreamed.