theindianwinter:

malmao:

Let’s talk about a Bagginshield Scrubs AU though. Toss most of those Scrub canon ships to the side and come on a journey with me:

• Thorin the famously surly doctor who could easily be the next Chief of Medicine if he’d only deign to turn on the charm. 
• Bilbo Baggins as a well-loved and sassy as hell nurse who Thorin has a massive crush on. 
• Bilbo is totally into him too, but he’s better at hiding it. 
• They are both emotionally constipated and need to just freaking bang already. 
• Kili and Fili as the inseparable pair of interns whose relationship is constantly in question bc they are way too damn attached. 
• Kili and Fili playing “poke the bear”. The bear is Thorin. They almost chicken out but Thorin rolls his eyes and walks away in time for them to still pretend it was exhilarating instead of a near death experience.  
• Tauriel as Kili’s nurse gf who says things like, “That’s the man you’ll have to compete with for your father’s affections,” when they have a kid or, “If you had to choose between me and Fili, you’d pick me right?”
• Kili totally says yes. 
• When Tauriel turns around, Kili silently shakes his head at Fili and mouths, ‘Totally you.’
• Thranduil as the lazy and sassy as hell board member who hates everyone. 
• Instead of having a history with the prickly doctor, his connection to the hospital is the new blonde intern that Thorin likes to call “Barbie” when he’s done something particularly stupid. 
• Ori, the intern who kills so many patients that they almost kick him right out the door but then realize he would make an excellent coroner. 
• Nori is totally the perv who is into eh-eh-eeeeverything that moves and doesn’t even try to hide it.
• Please don’t ask him about his banana hammock. 
• Please. 
• Bofur as the janitor who likes to fuck with everyone in the hospital. He hates Kili the most except no one really remembers why??
• Bombur is the cafeteria worker that’s Bofur’s pal/partner in crime.
• He doesn’t really do much crime actually. 
• He mainly just watches impassively.
• Usually with a sandwich.  
• Gandalf, the Chief of Medicine that rides Thorin extra hard bc they butt heads so often. He’s only really nice to Bilbo bc Bilbo is perfect. Everyone is scared of him but it’s all an act to keep the hospital afloat. He’s all bark. Very little bite. 
• Most of the time.
• Radagast is totally the hospital attorney. He is not always sad though, but that might bc he’s pretty high most of the time. 
• He’s a really, really bad lawyer. 
• Balin as beard-face. 
• Dwalin is Thorin’s best friend from college. 
• Bifur is a patient who is connected to people in the hospital and effects them emotionally. 
• And all around this odd cast you get to watch Thorin and Bilbo fall in love in their dorky awkward way and proceed to build a life together. 

Bonus:

• One day Bilbo and Thorin have a kid and name it Frodo. Kili wants to be the godfather. Thorin says no. 
• Mainly bc he’s not even Catholic. 

There is definitely a hospital Bagginshield conspiracy. And betting pool. 

Nori and Bofur run it. Mainly Nori.

Fili and Kili are each other’s phone backgrounds. They also have matching ringtones (which may or may not be Never Gonna Give You Up). Tauriel feels she should worry, but she doesn’t. 

Gloin is in charge of the hospital finances. He especially hates Thranduil. He is appalled to learn his son is friends with Barbie.

Legolas tried to fight against the nickname. Then Tauriel caught on. His own father called him it once, then remembered where the nickname came from.

Bofur keeps a skeleton in his cupboard. He likes how it scares people. The skeleton is called Jeff. 

No, I don’t know either.

Once Jeff found his way into Kili’s car.

He didn’t scream. It was a surprised shout. Albeit rather high pitched.

There was one day when Kili and Bofur got on. It had nothing to do with that time Thorin and Bilbo got locked in a cupboard. 

Nope.

Balin and Bifur forge a friendship because they are fairly certain they are the only sane people in the whole hospital. 

Even when Balin bought his ‘mid-life crisis motorbike’ (as Dwalin calls it). Balin insists it’s cool. No, especially with the flames.