It’s the Return of the Bride of the Monster of the Night of the HEADCANONPALOOZA!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

(this is what happens when I am too busy to get to tumblr for a few days, whoops – sorry sorry anons!!!)

BOFUR WOULD HAVE THE BEST GRANDUNCLE JOKES. 

*battle flashbacks at the mention of Frozen* oh god, babysitting scars, I bear them… 

Balinith toddling over to the shelf and declaring “BU!’ and choosing one and bringing it back to his parent to read it to him, until there is a pile fifteen books high beside Dwalin or Orla… aaand probably chucking a wobbly when it’s bedtime, because ‘NO NO NO MORE BU!’ 

(this is actually what the Dwarfling is doing RIGHT NOW. Her favourite is ‘Where is the Green Sheep’ by Mem Fox!!)

And hells YES – Gloin would be full of AMAZING advice (mostly the kind that sounds complicated, but in essence always boils down to ‘teach ‘em to be good Dwarves, and then trust ‘em to be good Dwarves’.)

Gimizh totally has a sheet of rewards for jobs and stuff. Some are easily obtainable – putting his clothes away without being asked is worth one cookie. Some are challenging – do all homework without complaining for a week, 5 cookies. Some are very, very difficult for a little dwarfling, such as not getting caught stealing cookies from Barur for a whole week – 10 cookies!!!

AWWWWWW

one day, Gimizh. One day, Barur will not catch you… but it is not this day! (THAT DWARROW HAS EYES ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, IT ISN’T FAAAAIR)

The Old Gumbie Dwarf

morvidra:

(Aka the latest installment of Erebor Cats.)

For determamfidd and fuckthisimgoingtoerebor

This was originally going to be about Bombur, but… he was too shy to appear.

So it’s about his son instead – Barur Stonebelly, from determamfidd’s amazing work Sansukh – and with a cameo by Gimizh Cookie-Thief.

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YIIYIYIYIYIYIYIYYIIIIII AHH FILI 

Yessss BARUR, marshmallow-centered honeypie that he is!!! CATS + DWARVES WILL NEVER GET OLD FOR MEEEE, bc lotr and musical theatre? Two of my biggest most tragic obsessions colliding like this? NGGGH, and you just make em fit so beautifullly *hugs you* thank you so much!

is it only me, but Bilbo = Grizabella makes my heart hurt A LOT

Barur probably isn’t above a little wrangling of the Trouble Troupe when the need arises. Like, what do those foreign dignitaries like to eat? Send the cute kiddies in on a recon mission! The King forgot to mention how many people were going to be at a dinner meeting? Scout kiddo! A few fruit tarts and cookies are worth the intel.

Ooooohh yes! I have mentioned before that Barur is a pretty good, if impatient, kid wrangler (comes from being third of 12 kids). He’d definitely understand the power of bribes!

Gimizh totally hijacks Barur’s cooking. All the time. Not to much, and nothing to crucial, but some small dishes during feasts disappear, and batches shrink without cause. During holidays, Gimizh (with Wee Thorin and Balinith) can often be found lurking near the kitchens in order to make of with stuff. Watch out for the bite-sized things at formal events!

PFFFT

Yep, this is p much how I envision them! Their antics in ‘Little Wild One’ are fairly standard, to be honest. 

Barur is all, 

I’m getting teary imagining the Urs being able to enjoy the everyday benefits of having enough money. Having a big enough house so that everyone has their own space. Barur is pleased that he can get proper food (Fresh ingredients! Enough of everything!). Having clothes that aren’t second hand or having patches on the patches. Being able to afford good schools and apprentices for the kiddos.

EXACTLY.

Alris having to stop herself from doing the constant checks-and-balances of ‘if we have this we can’t have that’. Bombur finally, tentatively experimenting with recipes that don’t stretch to two+ nights. Ingredients that aren’t sold in bulk, that have only the one use. Clothes that aren’t passed down from parent to older siblings to middle siblings to youngest – everyone with new clothes, new boots, all of their own, at last.  Bought especially for them. That fit.

Everyone who wanted a room of their own – has one. Everyone who desperately wished for a hair-clasp like their friend’s, or paper that wasn’t re-used and erased, or a high-quality tool and not a bargain-basement apprentice-effort, has it. 

Baris can finally attend the music schools her epic talent deserves. And she needn’t look like a pauper when she goes. Bofrur can learn from the best dancers, and he can wear the best dancing shoes when he does so. Alfur can get an apprenticeship at the engineering guild – and he won’t have to go down the mines afterwards to pay for it. Alfris has the time and luxury to build her marvellous palaces in her mind, and never want for paper to draw her designs. Bibur can actually become a goldsmith. He knows, now, what gold is like to hold and work with – and he needn’t give it back at the end of the work week. It’s his. 

I just. I have a lot of feelings about poverty, and the Urs. A lot.