legobiwan:

butlerbookbinding:

laughterkey:

ohmygodwaytoolong:

ohmygodwaytoolong:

cracked:

It turns out that in the music industry, insane perverts have always been the norm.

Why The World Of Classical Music Is Secretly Insane

We made a NEW CRACKED SHOW about QUIETLY AWESOME THINGS! Special thanks to Miki Matteson, @abeepp, Christina Newhall, Dustin Parsons, and my mom.

HEY: if you’d like to see a future episode of Everything Boring Is Awesome about a particular subject, lemme know! I’m open to suggestions. Please e-mail suggestions to: alex [dot] schmidt [at] cracked [dot] com.

OH MAN I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS

@shona-the-lady-king

HAHAHA

As someone who is…intimately familiar with this particular subject matter and the industry, let me tell you that all that hoity-toity stuff is surface-level only and that classical music has always been nuts and filled with murderers (looking at you, Gesualdo), druggies (Berlioz…) and all kinds of nutball people (Stockhausen and his Helicopter Quartet, which is literally a string quartet played in four separate helicopters in the air I mean honestly, Karlheinz).

@determamfidd

The Evil Overlord’s Classical Mixtape – Side B

so you’ve finished Side A of the Mixtape, you’ve ticked off everything in the handbook, but you need some more mood music for conquering the universe (or for writing a darkfic or battle-scene).

Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto 3
Dvořák: Requiem
Sibelius: Finlandia (VISIT BEAUTIFUL FINLAND, BRING ABOUT THE DOWNFALL OF CIVILISATION)
Stravinsky: The Firebird Suite
Jakub Neske: Mironczarnia
JS Bach: Organ Concerto in A minor (Vampires, get your Bat on)
Paul Stanhope: Lux Aeterna
Faure: Requiem
Donizetti: Lucia Di Lammermoor, “the Mad Scene”
Britten: War Requiem, Dies Irae (fuck it, listen to the whole Requiem. It’s agonizing.)
Dvořák: Symphony no7, 4th Movement
Arne Mellnäs: Aglepta (vengeful ghosts, this one’s for you.)
Schubert:
Der Tod und das Mädchen
Copland: I Felt a Funeral in my Brain
Massenet: The Tempest Suite, Ariel and the Spirits (angry Mutants, your theme tune, if you please)
Britten: A Ceremony of Carols, This Little Babe (Benny Britten is cranky about Christmas, and likes making the second sopranos cry)
Britten: Four Sea Interludes from Peter Grimes
Mozart: Marriage of Figaro, “La Vendetta” (A PISSED OFF BASS LAWYER PATTER ARIA)
Verdi: Rigoletto, “Cortigiani, vil razza dannata!”
Tchaikovsky: Sleeping Beauty, Carabosse (strut time for wicked fairies and queens)
Vivaldi: Concerto Grosso in G Minor
Orbán:
Daemon irrepit callidus (for the Sorcerer who wants it all)
Gyöngyösi: Domine Deus Meus
J.S. Bach: St John Passion, “Herr, unser Herrscher”
Tchaikovsky: The Nutcracker, Battle with the Mouse King
Widor: Mattheus-Final from ‘Bach’s Memento’
Addinsell: Warsaw Concerto (the fact that you can sing ‘stand by your man’ to the adagio theme makes you 100% more furious)
Rachmaninoff: Rhapsody on a theme by Paganini
Verdi: Otello, Iago’s ‘Credo’ Aria (tips from one of the pros, for all you schemers and plotters out there)
Bizet: Carmen, “Cards scene”
Liszt: Piano Sonata in B Minor
Liszt: Mephisto Waltz
Liszt: Transcendental Etude No4 ‘Mazeppa’
Gounod: Faust, “Le veau d’or”, the Mephistopheles serenade. (Palpatine’s easy listening pick)
Rachmaninoff: Variations on a theme by Chopin
Shostakovich: Symphony no.13 (SUITABLE NUMBER IS SUITABLE)
Shostakovich: Piano Sonata No1
Janáček

– Glagothic Mass
Puccini: Tosca, “Te Deum” (Villain Goals)
Sibelius: Tapiola
Bartók: Allegro Barbaro
Vivaldi: La Griselda, Agitata Da Due Venti (if you don’t think it’s angry enough, just imagine how the soprano feels)
Beethoven: Fidelio, “Abscheulicher!” (the Revenge Aria)
Beethoven: Symphony No6, “Pastoral” – 4th Movement, “The Thunderstorm”
Beethoven: Rage Over a Lost Penny (#relatable)
Brahms: Tragic Overture
Tartini: Devil’s Trill Sonata
Chopin: Etude 12 in C minor, the ‘Revolutionary’ (whoever told you that Chopin was chill?)
Dukas: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Purcell: King Arthur, “What Power Art Thou” (The Cold Genius Aria)
Ross Edwards, Symphony No1 “Da Pacem Domine” (TISSUE WARNING: use this as you ~~suddenly and inevitably~~ betray everything you once held dear)
Borodin: Polovtsian Dance #3, Allegro and Chorus
Mahler: Kindertotenlieder

All of these have been added to the Youtube Playlist!

Please enjoy ~~as you work on your villainous laugh 🙂~~

Hi, your Evil Overlord playlist is spectacular :D Helped me find that one piece i’ve had stuck in my head for weeks but couldn’t remember the name <3 Also, I sent it to my mother and she was delighted:) Your playlisting skills (Is that a thing? It should be a thing.) are awesome ^^

Awwwwww, thank you so much, Nonnie! I’m thrilled you and your mum enjoyed it – and that you found the piece you’d been looking for!

It’s a bit of a mix of the Big Obvious and the less-known, and I am really happy that people seem to like it! (I am still rocking out to that Schnittke, and the Liefs is pure nightmare fuel, I love it so much ❤ )

Because the Evil Overlord’s mix has been met with such enthusiasm I am now tentatively looking out for classical pieces that remind me of Tolkien’s Dwarves now ~~yes, combining two things I love again~~ – I dunno though, I sure hope my playlisting skills are up to it!

(HEH, AND THE ANVIL CHORUS IS THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF NATURALLY)

Could you make your “Evil Overlord mix” on Spotify?

Hey Nonnie! I’ve been really gratified by the response to the mix, it’s been so awesome! I’m thinking I could do something similar in future for other subjects/themes: Classical music for Dwarves, classical music for heartbreak, etc etc. I dunno, maybe!

I’ve never used Spotify, I am so sorry… and I simply cannot afford an account this year. We are budgeted down to the last cent at the moment!!!

But absolutely anyone is welcome to make the playlist on Spotify if they so wish, I am totally down for that.

The Evil Overlord’s Classical Mixtape

shadokatninjakitty:

determamfidd:

bc sometimes you just want a little mood music for re-reading the handbook and plotting galactic domination (or for writing a darkfic or battle-scene).

Dvořák: Symphony №9, “From The New World” – IV – Allegro Con Fuoco

Holst: The Planets, Mars

JS Bach: Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (mandatory listening for all vampires)

Grieg: Peer Gynt, Hall of the Mountain King

Saint-Saëns: La danse macabre

Mussorgsky: Night on Bald Mountain

Verdi: Requiem, Dies Irae

Schnittke: Seid nuchtern und wachet (Faust Cantata); VII. Es geschah (It came to pass) IT’S AN EVIL TANGO. ABOUT FAUST. BEING DRAGGED. INTO THE UNDERWORLD. Come on.

Orff: Carmina Burana, O Fortuna

Tchaikovsky: Symphony 5, 1st movement

Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel, Witch’s Ride (Hexenritt)

Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, Dance of the Knights (Montagues and Capulets)

Grieg: Piano Concerto

Mahler: Symphony No. 1 “The Titan”

Mozart: Requiem, Dies Irae

Mozart: Requiem, Confutatis

Mozart: Don Giovanni, Finale

Prokofiev: Scythian Suite, Dance Of The Pagan Monster

Bruckner: Symphony no. 9, Movt. 2. Scherzo.

Shostakovich: Symphony No. 5, 4th Movement (let’s be real here, you’re a villain, Shosta is probably your favourite composer.)

Rimsky-Korsakov: Scheherazade

Berlioz: Symphonie Fantastique, March To The Scaffold

Berlioz: Symphonie Fantastique, Dreams of a Witches’ Sabbath

Liszt: Totentanz

Shostakovich: String Quartet No. 8 in C Minor (II)

Mussorgsky: Pictures at an Exhibition, Gnomus

Vivaldi: The Four Seasons, Summer (Presto)

Bartok: Music for Strings, Percussion & Celesta, third movement

Stravinksy: The Rite Of Spring, The Adoration of the Earth

Rachmaninoff: Prelude Op.3 No.2 in C-sharp minor

Mahler: Symphony 5, 2nd Movement

Mahler: Symphony 9, 3rd Movement

Franz Liszt: Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 (for all you Jokers and clown-themed villains out there)

Tchaikovsky: Marche Slave

Beethoven: “Moonlight” Sonata, Movement 3

Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto no.2 op.18

Chopin: Funeral March

Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, Tybalt’s Death

Prokofiev: Sarcasms

Prokofiev: “Suggestion Diabolique”

Mozart: The Magic Flute, Der
Hölle Rache

Wagner: Die Walkure, Ride of the Valkyries (for releasing the flying monkeys…)

Wagner: Siegfried, Fafner’s Death (BECAUSE DRAGONS)

Wagner:
Götterdämmerung, Siegfried’s Funeral Music

Wagner: Flying Dutchman Overture

Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake (Swan Theme) (to be played underneath your tragic backstory… right before you stab whoever’s telling it)

Marschner: Der Vampyr, Overture

Ravel: Gaspard de la Nuit (sad, creepy Gollumesque villains, this one’s for you)

Rachmaninoff: Isle of the Dead

Ligeti: Requiem

Prokofiev: Alexander Nevsky

Elgar: Dream of Gerontius, Demons’ Chorus

Liefs: Organ Concerto, Introduction

Strauss: Also sprach Zarathrusta (to be used during the dramatic reveal of your planet-sized superweapon…)

Mahler: Um Mitternacht

Schubert: Erlkönig

Bernstein: Kaddish, Din Torah

Edgard Varèse: Amériques, final movement

Bartók: The Miraculous Mandarin

I have also made a Youtube playlist of all these pieces! Please enjoy ~~as you work on your villainous laugh 🙂~~

Great list. Just can’t figure out what Spring is doing in there…

Rite of Spring is alternatively creepy, atmospheric and aaaaaangry. It famously caused a near-riot at its premiere. (I mean, Disney made it the soundtrack for a DINOSAUR BATTLE in Fantasia) Try it from this point! The whole ballet is EPIC… I compromised by only putting the first Act in 🙂

The Evil Overlord’s Classical Mixtape

bc sometimes you just want a little mood music for re-reading the handbook and plotting galactic domination (or for writing a darkfic or battle-scene).

Dvořák: Symphony №9, “From The New World” – IV – Allegro Con Fuoco
Holst: The Planets, Mars
JS Bach: Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (mandatory listening for all vampires)
Grieg: Peer Gynt, Hall of the Mountain King
Saint-Saëns: La danse macabre
Mussorgsky: Night on Bald Mountain
Verdi: Requiem, Dies Irae
Schnittke: Seid nuchtern und wachet (Faust Cantata); VII. Es geschah (It came to pass) IT’S AN EVIL TANGO. ABOUT FAUST. BEING DRAGGED. INTO THE UNDERWORLD. Come on.
Orff: Carmina Burana, O Fortuna
Tchaikovsky: Symphony 5, 1st movement
Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel, Witch’s Ride (Hexenritt)
Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, Dance of the Knights (Montagues and Capulets)
Grieg: Piano Concerto
Mahler: Symphony No. 1 “The Titan”
Mozart: Requiem, Dies Irae
Mozart: Requiem, Confutatis
Mozart: Don Giovanni, Finale
Prokofiev: Scythian Suite, Dance Of The Pagan Monster
Bruckner: Symphony no. 9, Movt. 2. Scherzo.
Shostakovich: Symphony No. 5, 4th Movement (let’s be real here, you’re a villain, Shosta is probably your favourite composer.)
Rimsky-Korsakov: Scheherazade
Berlioz: Symphonie Fantastique, March To The Scaffold
Berlioz: Symphonie Fantastique, Dreams of a Witches’ Sabbath
Liszt: Totentanz
Shostakovich: String Quartet No. 8 in C Minor (II)
Mussorgsky: Pictures at an Exhibition, Gnomus
Vivaldi: The Four Seasons, Summer (Presto)
Bartok: Music for Strings, Percussion & Celesta, third movement
Stravinksy: The Rite Of Spring, The Adoration of the Earth
Rachmaninoff: Prelude Op.3 No.2 in C-sharp minor
Mahler: Symphony 5, 2nd Movement
Mahler: Symphony 9, 3rd Movement
Franz Liszt: Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 (for all you Jokers and clown-themed villains out there)
Tchaikovsky: Marche Slave
Beethoven: “Moonlight” Sonata, Movement 3
Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto no.2 op.18
Chopin: Funeral March
Prokofiev: Romeo and Juliet, Tybalt’s Death
Prokofiev: Sarcasms
Prokofiev: “Suggestion Diabolique”
Mozart: The Magic Flute, Der
Hölle Rache
Wagner: Die Walkure, Ride of the Valkyries (for releasing the flying monkeys…)
Wagner: Siegfried, Fafner’s Death (BECAUSE DRAGONS)
Wagner:
Götterdämmerung, Siegfried’s Funeral Music
Wagner: Flying Dutchman Overture
Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake (Swan Theme) (to be played underneath your tragic backstory… right before you stab whoever’s telling it)
Marschner: Der Vampyr, Overture
Ravel: Gaspard de la Nuit (sad, creepy Gollumesque villains, this one’s for you)
Rachmaninoff: Isle of the Dead
Ligeti: Requiem
Prokofiev: Alexander Nevsky
Elgar: Dream of Gerontius, Demons’ Chorus
Liefs: Organ Concerto, Introduction
Strauss: Also sprach Zarathustra (to be used during the dramatic reveal of your planet-sized superweapon…)
Mahler: Um Mitternacht
Schubert: Erlkönig
Bernstein: Kaddish, Din Torah
Edgard Varèse: Amériques, final movement
Bartók: The Miraculous Mandarin

I have also made a Youtube playlist of all these pieces! Please enjoy ~~as you work on your villainous laugh 🙂~~