Tag: dain-mothafocka

dain-mothafocka:

“Hello, little one,” Jeri muttered for the seventh time, cradling the tiny dwarf infant in their arms. 

As they gazed down at the bundle that was their newborn child, Jeri thought they were almost close to collapsing with emotion and exhaustion. However, they did have the capacity to wonder over a few things. One was that their child – their child (and thinking about this almost set Jeri off blubbing again; they thought they were over the worst of it now) – was so impossibly small. They surely couldn’t have been that small when they were born. 

Another was how utterly beautiful they were. Of course, Jeri had scoffed whenever anyone brought up the mix that they would have Khalei’s good looks – but even so, their child was perfect in every way conceivable – a miniature version of Khalei’s bow mouth, coupled with Jeri’s nose and a hint of warm, golden sunshine in their cheeks. Jeri couldn’t help but sit on the edge of the bed and bury their nose in their tiny hat, tears running into their beard again. 

He felt their sanmelek take their hand in theirs, and Jeri looked up to find the same dazed expression on their face, before they gently leaned in for a kiss. 

“You are incredible, ghivasha,” they murmured.

sakdjfgalshdgfaksjdgfakjshgdfakjdhfal!!! 

JADE. JADE. I AM DYING HERE. I AM GOING TO TURN INTO A CLOUD OF SUGAR BUTTERFLIES AND THEN MELT. YOU KNOW FLUFF IS MY WEAKNESS, JADE. 

*croons* ohhhh teeenyyyy dwarf buubbbaaaaaaa…!  newborns are SO SO SO TINY it is terrifying i stg

Thank you THANK YOU *clutches drabble and rocks it gently* AHHH THANK YOU

dain-mothafocka:

Jeri stood up and took
a deep breath, trying in vain to stop a grin spreading over their
cheeks too much – they didn’t want to give it away. Genild and Beri
were sitting with their hands clasped in their laps and looking at
their child expectantly; Jeri could tell their amad was annoyed at
being made to wait. Ever since they had informed both of them that
they had some news to tell that evening, Jeri had been unable to
concentrate at work, willing time to speed up until past dinnertime.

“Spit it out!”
Genild exclaimed, almost falling off the end of the chair.

It wasn’t staying
hidden for very much longer.

“How would you both
feel,” they began, “about being grandmothers?”

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Jade I am squealing like an idiot at the screen, AHHHH GENILD, BERI, GRANNIES BABY AHHHHHH

Thank you so so much!!

Conversations in the Wild. Sansukh fanfic. Jeri/OC, OC

dain-mothafocka:

A follow-up fic to What happens in the weapons room

A
few months after Akhsan and Khalei’s arrival at Erebor, a lot of
things have happened. For one thing, Jeri is now in a relationship
after a game of spin the bottle, and a Middle-Earth famous warlord
will not stop comparing them to a vegetable. So Jeri was slightly
relieved to be entrusted in a scouting mission to the edges of the
Sea of Rhun. Less relieved that he had Akhsan solely for company.

For determamfidd and poplitealqueen

It
had been a long two months for Jeri. For good reasons – no,
amazing, brilliant reasons, and for slightly weirder ones.

Two
months since Akhsan’s arrival, which had led to two months of Orla
creeping around, glaring at any dwarf under her command who even
looked in the direction of the visiting dwarven legend. Whisperings
and excitement had raged through Erebor’s military, and Jeri, much to
their exasperation, had found little notes tacked to the elite guard
barracks – Alvira loves Akhsan for ever.

Keep reading

*gibbers excitedly*

AHHHH

the food fight! Gimizh you are dead for trying to stuff a carrot in Dori’s ear. The mention of Beri and Genild WOOOT. Ahksan, you are my new dwarf crush, ilu, you fab hottie. JERIIIIIII *weeps* oh baby, you are amazing, you’ve already come so far, you are so so YOUNG, you have all the time in the world. I adore their heart-to-heart! YOU TELL THEM, AHKSAN. 

ALSO THAT ENDING HOLY HECKa;siuerylaieugflasjkdgfalhd 

i love it, Jade, thank you THANK YOU SO MUCH

(khalei/jeri otp oh yus)

What happens in the weapons room. Sansukh fanfic. Jeri/OC

dain-mothafocka:

After
King Thorin Stonehelm’s coronation, two dwarves from the East arrive
in the fray of battle to Erebor. One of them grabs Jeri’s attention,
and the member of the King’s Elite Guard has quite possibly the most
awkward conversation of their life. Featuring dwarven gender feels,
and Jeri being a blushing bag of flails when faced with someone they
fancy.

Of course as you know, all Sansukh characters belong to determamfidd. Akhsan and Khalei belong to me. Khalei being, of course, a shameless self-insert. 

It
was with a rush of anticipation that the gathered crowd drew their
weapons behind the front gate of Erebor. At the behest of King
Stonehelm, a spear wall had been quickly formed: not five minutes
ago, a lookout had informed them that a charioteer was headed towards
the gates through the writhing mass of Orcs and dark beasts, bearing
the insignia of Khand and standing atop a huge, fast-moving wain.
Just one of them – a messenger.

Keep reading

HNNNNNGH OMFG

Jade, this is gorgeous – Ahhhhhh! Orocarni gender customs! Khalei! JERI BEING A STAMMERY BLUSHY MESS. AHKSAN THE BADASS – scuse me, too much awesome there, i am combusting internally – ORLA RECOGNISING HIM AND BASICALLY FANGIRLING ALL OVER THE PLACE AHHH

Jeri being a foot-in-mouth giant sprout and Khalei the smooth motherfucker, AUGH I LOVE THIS SO DAMN MUCH HOLY HELL

Thank you, thank you, HNNNGH, thank you so so so so much!!

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/determamfidd/118978111573/tumblr_nocdoo1CGO1rg8uu4?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
https://determamfidd.tumblr.com/post/118978111573/audio_player_iframe/determamfidd/tumblr_nocdoo1CGO1rg8uu4?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fdetermamfidd%2F118978111573%2Ftumblr_nocdoo1CGO1rg8uu4

dain-mothafocka:

Also this. I also attempted a Scottish accent – please have mercy on me. 

Inspired by the awesome artwork for this little beat by http://piyo13sdoodles.tumblr.com/ 🙂

“Amazed at you, actually. I can’t believe you’re taking it this well.”

Thorin fought his expression and thought rather guiltily of his bare forge for a moment. “Ah, well.”

Dáin’s eyes narrowed. Then he grunted. “Is anything left standing?”

“Yes!” he snapped in response, before wincing and tugging at one ear. “Some pens. Most of the door. My sword…?”

Dáin only chuckled and patted Thorin’s shoulder. “Aye, I really have missed you.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

I AM GIGGLING SO MUCH RN OMFG SHEER PERFECTION

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/determamfidd/118974426248/tumblr_nocdbfCmwW1rg8uu4?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
https://determamfidd.tumblr.com/post/118974426248/audio_player_iframe/determamfidd/tumblr_nocdbfCmwW1rg8uu4?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fdetermamfidd%2F118974426248%2Ftumblr_nocdbfCmwW1rg8uu4

dain-mothafocka:

spur of the moment recording!

“Gimli has been…” Thorin groped for the words to describe what Gimli had become to him. “He is a safe place for me. Gimli has been safety since my death. When all else seemed to be made of ashes and dust and grief, there was a bright spot and it was always him. He is not perfect, no. He is no genius, true, and he is often quick to anger and rash besides. He can be stubborn.”

[“Says Thorin Oakenshield,” Dáin interrupted, his eyes twinkling. “No, go on.”]

Thorin gave him a half-hearted glare, before a beautiful axe-sequence from Gimli caught his attention and he found himself smiling again. “He is one of the best of us, one of the very best I have ever known. He will give his all, and then more besides, and then dig deeper and deeper yet. No matter the odds or the indignities or the sorrows he must face, he will go on. He will press into the midst of utter terror; there is nothing he will not endure for those he cares for. He will fight to his last breath, and then use it to sing and lift the hearts of his friends. He is faithfulness itself; he is steadfast beyond imagining. He will find the smallest scrap of hope in the middle of desolation, and hold it out to someone else. Quick to anger, aye – but quick to forgive, and quick to laugh, and quick to understand, and quick to compassion.”

AUGH JADE 

AUGH SO GORGEOUS YOU HAVE A VOICE OF SHEER GLORY

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/determamfidd/118563817643/tumblr_no3x5hq6PR1rb0mtv?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
https://determamfidd.tumblr.com/post/118563817643/audio_player_iframe/determamfidd/tumblr_no3x5hq6PR1rb0mtv?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fdetermamfidd%2F118563817643%2Ftumblr_no3x5hq6PR1rb0mtv

dain-mothafocka:

determamfidd:

So, with the secret out now (hee!) the lovely poplitealqueen reminded me that I would now be able to post my cast intro.

So, here is my dulcet (read: OCKER) voice when I am not being Galadrielrond! 

your accent is the most australian thing, like more australian than vegemite spread on a dangerous animal shoved up tony abbott’s bum. 

I KNOWWW. I am so Strine. 

(that poor animal, what did it ever do to deserve that omfg i hope it poisons/stings/eats/attacks him. And sadly Vegemite is owned by Heinz-Kraft, and is now American. Boo.)

Hey guys.

dain-mothafocka:

Thanks for all your a+ messages and I’m really glad you enjoyed me as Thorin! :33 Thorin and Det’s portrayal of him and just everything about him really means so much to me and I lovelovelovelove him and his complexity and richness of character. We’re really alike as well and I have such a great time doing his voice. I’ve already recorded my parts for Chapter 2 and will be recording Chapter 3 lines very soon. 

So yeah. Ta. 🙂 

(LOVE YOU TOO JADE. Thank you!! It means so much to me that you, who understand Thorin so well, are bringing his voice and words to life.)