Tag: darthstitch

Now, I’m about to do a thing, and I know this isn’t the proper way to be goin’ about it, but all dead relatives present can keep their flapping traps shut.

Gimli, from Sansûkh by @determamfidd

a.  This is how you respond when you’re aware you’re being followed around by a Dead Dwarf Peanut Gallery. 

b.   BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA Legolas’ Dwarf father in law is an ATTACK SHRUB and it is PRICELESS.

c.  I think I have something that will probably describe Thranduil once he finds out he has a Dwarf for a son in law:

image

d.  Dets, Aragorn better be best man at that wedding.

e.  Pippin has his priorities in order and I really, REALLY want a bite of those ‘shrooms.  

f.  Also, THE CLIMAX.  BILBO.  THORIN.  FRODO.  SAM.  FILI.  ALL MY BABIES!!!!!  ALL MY FEELS. 

ETA:  I seriously think someone should have the popcorn ready when the Big Reveal happens to the in-laws.  Is there popcorn in Dwarf Heaven? Mushrooms?  Something to nom on? Surely, one of the ‘Ri brothers learned their brother Dori’s mad cooking skillz….

(via darthstitch)

somebody stop me

darthstitch:

So the delightfully EVIL @determamfidd‘s latest Sansukh chapter has let loose a PLOT BUNNY UPON MY HEAD.

What if Gimli was the SAME AGE as Kili and thus was allowed to go on the Quest for Erebor?

So basically, Thorin would be, “No, Gandalf, we’re already fourteen, we don’t need a lucky number.”

And Gandalf is like:  “NOPE.  YOU NEED A HOBBIT.  TRUST ME ON THIS.  YOU. NEED. A. HOBBIT.”

So while we have Tauriel and Kili making googly eyes at each other, I am imagining Gimli and Legolas and SNARK AND SASS AND NOPE WE DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER WHAT IS THIS GIGOLAS YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT OH THE HORROR ELF AND DWARF COOTIES AAAAAARGH TAURIEL STOP LAUGHING KILI YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

Also:  Bagginshield. 

V. Important:  NOBODY. FRICKIN’. DIES.  (except for the Bad Guys)

HELP MEEEEEEEE

*waggles eyebrows* DOOOOO EEEET

STITCH, DOOO EEEET 

Meanwhile Obi-wan has met up with the Howling Commandos. They are busy swapping stories on their trouble magnets while Yoda and Qui-Jinn shakes their head and Peggy laughs at them. (Come on-Obi-wan had to deal with Anakin for 10 years, and I bet Luke was a major trouble magnet when he was growing up! In A New Hope, I remember Luke mentioning that Obi-wan saved his life once.)

darthstitch:

The Ghostly Peanut Gallery – which also includes the Dwarves from @determamfidd‘s Sansukh – is going to be a major party now.   I’m sure Peggy, Dori and Certain Hobbits would be commiserating with each other over tea and Nori would totally be stealing the crumpets and Yoda would be floating his cuppa using the Force. 

… and then Obi-Wan would be swapping Skywalker stories with the Howlies, who’d have all the dirt on “Mrs. Rogers and Mrs. Barnes”…. and then Sarah Rogers comes in and joins them, along with Padme Amidala. 😛

OH GOSH FORCE-GHOST/HOWLIES/DEAD DWARVES PEANUT GALLERY

this is the absolute best, I am in heaven – Stitch, you genius! 😀

hello can you rec some fic(s) from any fandom(s) that fucked you up?

darthstitch:

Oh dear god.

You have no idea, my sweet summer child.  None at all.

Okay.  If I tried to list everything, I will never be able to finish this post.  So – here are my three current fandoms (I have others, but yeah… long post will be long) and here are like a few fics off the top of my head.

Sherlock (Johnlock)

Performance in a Leading Role by madlori

This is one of the best Alternate Universes that it has ever been my privilege to read.  It’s still Sherlock Holmes and it’s still John Watson, even though they’re actors in this universe and not crimefighting super sleuths. 

It’s gorgeously written, it’s expanded into a universe in itself and it’s one of those fics that you can just sink yourself into and never want to leave. 

Captain America MCU (Stucky)

Tin Soldiers by idrilka

My absolute favorite thing in the MCU fandom is any fic that deals with the heroes in social media and in a meta-ish way.  This is THE ultimate outsider POV Stucky story – and even now, I’m in awe at how the author manages to capture every individual fan you know on the internet.

You KNOW these people.

They ARE your people.

They ARE you. 

It’s brilliant.  It’s Steve/Bucky and their presence is very tangible in this story, even though they themselves aren’t directly appearing to the reader.  Again, it’s not just a fic, it’s become a universe I can escape to.

you know i dreamed about you by napricot

basically, one of the best canon divergences i’ve ever read.  i mean, canon-wise, Bucky either gets killed or gets put through a lot of pain and this fic is like everything i want after watching CATWS and going, “please, somebody save bucky barnes and steve rogers!”

That Ass (Property of Bucky Barnes) by greenbergsays

Okay, technically speaking, this fic fucked me up in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY, by killing me with laughter.

Really.

Go read this.  I won’t be responsible for ruined keyboards and tears of laughter though. 😛

The Hobbit (Bagginshield & Gigolas)

Sansûkh by determamfidd

Epic.  This is a WIP but it’s worth keeping an eye on. 

This is how you do fan fic on an epic scale.  It is world building, it is expanding on the existing canon, it makes you think and imagine and cry and laugh and…. yeah, okay, this is why fan fiction is such a good thing.

Did you ever sit yourself down and wonder things about the fictional universe you just discovered in a book?  All those little details and nitty gritty things and stuff that the canon only hints at or doesn’t really get to tell because we have to keep the story going and there’s no time to get into it?

Sansukh does that and it retells the Lord of the Rings and the in-between years of the Hobbit not just from a dead Thorin Oakenshield’s point of view, but it basically attempts to tell us the stories that were not told because we were following Frodo and Aragorn on their own respective journeys.  It tells us about Dain and Erebor’s heroic stand and the kingdom Bard got to re-establish.  It tells us their stories and it makes the existing canon all the richer.

There & Sass Again:  A Love Story by bead-bead

This is short and sweet and funny as hell and adorable as anything.   Also hot but look, aside from going all nnnnnngh at the Good Bits, you’re still giving yourself gigglefits at all the lovey-doveying going on.

Ta-da.  Enjoy!

Oh Stitch…!

Thank you soOO much, you wondrous and sweet and kind person! Wow, that is some illustrious company whoa 

I am absolutely blown over by your absolutely beautiful words, I am just so grateful for them and just so happy that it has touched you so, I lasdhfgjalshfdgas *brain borks completely* THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is how I deal with Feels

darthstitch:

It is the Grand Tradition of the Blanket Fort that every time determamfidd​ updates Sansukh, I must offer something to the Gods and Goddesses of Crack.

Therefore:

Occasionally, the Interdimensional/Multiverse Vacuum Cleaner of Doom a.k.a. I’m Not the Bloody TARDIS You Berks will respond to a Cry of Feels that is so epic, so powerful, that nothing less than Earth’s Mightiest Heroes will do in order to fix the situation.

Even if the tragedy in question was taking place on Middle-earth.

Dain Ironfoot was meant to die on this day, in this battle that would end up merely as a footnote in the histories of the War of the Ring, for all its vital importance.  It would be left for others to tell about the courage of the Dwarves of Erebor, of the Lady Selga and her bow, of Dis – sister to Thorin Oakenshield and her desperate defense of her beloved kinsman, of how Dagalur of the Orcs would finally meet her dreadful and well-deserved doom.  

Dain Ironfoot was ready for death and he did not fear it and he was looking forward to finally punching his stubborn stone-brained cousin in that fine Durin nose once he got to Mahal’s Halls.

He did regret leaving his living family behind and he would have loved to dandle his future grandbabies on his knee. 

He did regret that look of grief and fury upon Dis’ face, who would lose one of her family to war, yet again.

And then —

Well, this was passing strange, because there they were, these strangers with their otherworldly weapons – the fair-haired warrior who could call upon the lightning with his hammer, the Man in the iron suit, the red-haired woman who fell upon the Orcs with her strange weapons, the Archer, the gray-eyed man with the metal arm, the enormous green giant with his amusingly Hobbit-y fluffy feet and their Captain with his shield.

The Captain flashed a reassuring smile at the stunned Dain and Dis, who still had her own weapons to bear. 

“We’re here to help, Your Majesty.”  And then he cried out in a great voice:

Avengers, assemble!

And thus, Dain Ironfoot would live to see another day.  It would be with great glee that he would learn about Gimli falling in love with Thranduil’s son, because watching the Elf-king have kittens over this news was absolutely priceless.  He would live to see his grandbabies and also watch as all the wee badgers of Erebor would consequently adopt Prince Laerophen of Mirkwood and absolutely refuse to return him to his flabbergasted father. 

“HE’S OURS AND WE’RE KEEPING HIM!” hollered Gimizh Cookie-thief.

Laerophen absolutely did not object. 

Thus it was that the history of Middle-earth was changed, just a little, by the Avengers, who stayed on in Middle-earth for a longer visit, because reasons.

– end –

Note:  LOOK IF WE’RE ALL IN DENIAL OVER THORIN’S DEATH THERE IS NO REASON WHY I CAN’T BE IN DENIAL OVER DAIN IRONFOOT BECAUSE DAIN IS AWESOME AND DETS CONVERTED ME TO THE LOVE OF DAIN TOO, OKAY? OKAY.

darthstitch replied to your post:I’m sorry but… I’m not here to fuck spiders?!…

so basically, since i am scared of spiders (sorry dets!) i should be in a hazmat suit when i visit? lmaoooo

😀 Nah, no suit needed dearest stitch: there’s a reason why we’re all still alive! The spiders might be enormous but they’re fairly chill. They just spin their webs and do their thing and on the whole they mostly leave people alone. 

(eat more mozzies, you bastards, I hate mozzies!)