writing style: author from the 1800s with a severe love of commas whose sentences last half a page
I came out here, to this point, to this place, hoping against all hope and despite signs and portends suggesting otherwise that I might, somehow, find myself having a pleasant experience, and yet here I stand, alone against the world, feeling assaulted, attacked on all fronts, knowing not my enemy’s name nor his face nor whether our battle is done.
<3333333 Sam is my Lion of the Shire, I adore him forever.
(that especially snarky line? the “Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools” line? ISN’T MINE. That’s Tolkien’s, from the chapter The Scouring of the Shire, and is a contender for my favourite line in the whole trilogy. DAMN I LOVE SAM)
It really would be. More than any test of fitness or weapon-skills, it would be a test of extreme cunning and lateral thinking.
Gimizh is slippery as an eel, when he wants to be. He knows every nook in the Mountain. He can charm the socks off the birds. He can use Frerinith as a decoy. He knows nearly everybody. He can and WILL smuggle himself in somehow.
Jeri? Jeri won that test very easily.
Jeri asked around, and so came armed with a batch of Beri’s best spiced fruitcake.
Writer says: So I had this crazy idea one day and I just had to work on it. Here ya go!
Writer means: So I had this crazy idea either right before getting in the shower or right before falling asleep so I grabbed my fucking laptop and shat all over it to create the steaming pile of crap that I now lay before you. I don’t even know if it’s good anymore. I haven’t slept in two days.
Writer says: Wow, real life’s getting busy! Sorry on the slow updates.
Writer means: My life is a literal storm of shit at the moment. Why did I decide to do this. Why am I still doing this. Everything around me is spinning out of control and I am staying up ‘til 5:30 in the morning every night to create a piece of work that will only get two comments and 12 demands for quicker updates. I hope no one’s mad at me, all I wanted to do was write.
Writer says: Wow! Would you look at that! I updated on time! Please enjoy!
Writer means: WOOOOOOHOOOOOO BITCHES LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTIVE ASSHOLE GO YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW TAKE THAT YOU NASTY REVIEWERS ALWAYS DEMANDING ME TO BE FASTER! I GOT THIS SHIT I GOT THIS SHIT
Writer says: This chapter was a toughie. Glad it’s finally done!
Writer means: I don’t know if this is good or not. I honestly don’t fucking know. I’ve read the same words over and over and over again and I just couldn’t look at it anymore. My beta said it was ok but I’m not confident but HOLY SHIT I JUST NEED TO STOP WRITING THIS FUCKIGN CHAPTER.
Writer says: Thanks for reading!
Writer means: Please, oh please oh please oh please leave me a review. A comment. Anything. Please tell me you’re out there. Please tell me someone is reading this.
Writer says: I just want to say that real life is getting pretty hectic right now. Please try to be patient with me, I know you guys want updates. Thanks! 🙂
Writer means: FUCK. YOU. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from me?! You don’t know my life! I have a very busy life! I create shit for free, you entitled son of a pig-fucker! STOP LEAVING ME COMMENTS TELLING ME TO UPDATE SOON OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL PUKE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER
Writer means: I have no fucking clue what the next chapter is going to look like. What’s my plot? I don’t know. I feel no emotion.
Writer says: Please leave a comment! It helps me write!
Writer means: I am begging you to leave me a comment because I swear it’s the only thing that’s keeping me motivated right now, I hate the work I put out and I need reassurance that people are actually enjoying this.
Writer says: I hope you enjoyed that chapter, big things are coming up! 😉
Writer means: Buckle up bitches, someone’s gonna die.
Writer says: I know I’ve missed a few updates, but I swear I plan on finishing this story!
Writer means: *high pitched eternal screeching*
Writer says: Here we are at long last! This has been one wild ride. I want to thank you all so much for your support and love, I adore each and every one of you. I am so happy to say that this story has come to a wonderful close.
Writer means: My body is numb. Voices call out to me from the void, but I can no longer hear them over the beating of my racing heart. I am stressed to the point where I feel no relief. The story is done. It’s fucking DONE. I loved it, I hated it, it was a fucking storm of horror and pain. I can no longer see color. Now I can at last relax and…wait……wait a second………..holy shit I just thought of the best idea for a one-shot that’s totally gonna turn into a 50 chapter slow burn AU fic leT’S FUCKING DO THIS
OMG I READ IT! Thank you! I loved your addition! But I can’t reblog it, and I really want to. My tumblr and the internet here have prevented me from doing much, but when I get the chance I’ll reblog it!
<333 I’m so glad! Thank you too for such a great idea! And just saw the reblog – ahhhh, you’re super kind, I’m really so happy you liked it!
it will never cease to delight me that in the trilogy, gimli is shown to be charming, with all the polish and grace of a trained diplomat—he trades wits with elrond and speaks so graciously to galadriel that she gives him a gift denied feanor; his extemporaneous description of the glittering caves is what convinces legolas to travel there with him after the war, he sings the song of durin so well that sam begs to learn it.
whereas legolas is this big cheerful lug of a hunter-tracker, incidentally a prince, only unwittingly beautiful and graceful—his speech is decidedly stiff and formal, even when he’s trying to be gentle, but then turns around and starts singing without realizing he’s forgotten half the song. He has strange moments of seriousness, when the ancientness of him shines through, but then—
I do wonder what their first conversations were, gimli dignified but a little chilly; legolas stiff even as he attempted humor, but a way forward nonetheless.
Phew, so I just spent time looking this up ok, I am pretty certain this is correct… And Thranduil is just the father of Gimizh’s uncle by marriage. It’s a fairly distant relationship, really.
There’s no special name that I can find. It appears that most folks call their uncle-in-law’s dad/mum by their name, or a nickname.
‘Great-uncle’ /‘grand-uncle’ refers to the sibling of your grandparents, apparently.
(marvel at my MS Paint magic k)
So yeah, pretty obscure/distant sort of relationship.
Aw Yiss 