Tag: death tw

hey babes and huns and darlins all

It’s been a heck of a time lol. Sorry for the long long LONG silence. AGAIN. Urgh, I am shaking my head at myself, believe me. I am so crap at social media. All or nothing, that’s me. 

Anyway. We had a loss in our family – the family member I mentioned who was sick has lost their fight after a long long battle, and so we’ve been dealing with how that affects us all. We all knew it was coming, just not when. 

My little man is now 12 weeks old, and GOD he is gorgeous. Caring for him has been a snap so far. He’s a very chilled, cruisy, easy baby, thank fark. 

*the 4-month sleep regression looming on the horizon, rumbling ominously* LALALALALALA NOPE. SO CHILLED. A REALLY CRUISY BABY. YES INDEEDY. 

(tbh, parenting the Dwarfling takes WAY more effort than him at the moment! She’s at a very questioning, precocious, demanding sort of stage. Nearly 4yo now! WTH, WHERE DID THE TIME GO)

No writing has been happening, sad to say. The plan is to get to a point where I’m not collapsing each evening, and do some writing when the kids are in bed. So far, no dice. I’m still knackered!! But it WILL happen. I am not giving up this close to the finish line. 

I hope you’ve all been amazing, and that life is treating you gently, all my beautiful fandom friends and pals and mates out there. I’ve had you all in my thoughts so often – in between endless loads of washing and feeding kids and changing nappies and racing around like a headless chook lolol. Sending you all a gigantic virtual hug.  

lotsa love, 

Dets

Greetings. I am the one who asked how you know about Hobbit and so on.I am sorry for your lost and am glad that you are strong as steel and carry on with a good life and a family. I have to tell you I feel loved by reading your story. I am sure you are doing the right thing. Fighting!

Awww, thank you Nonnie. That’s very kind of you. Thank you.

I’m all good, honestly. It was many years ago, and much of the sadness has faded. I remember and honour my uncle with a lot of love and pride. He’s always a part of my life. He’d want me to live it to the best of my ability (and he’d be stoked that I am constantly surrounded by happy nerdery). 

I am overwhelmingly glad you feel loved by reading my story, Nonnie, that is one of the most truly beautiful things anyone has ever said to me about my writing. 

Don’t know if anyone asked but how did you come across with Lord of the rings and other works? Did you watch movies first or the opposite?

Oh, this is a bit of a tale, and it is a bit sad. so a warning in advance, Nonnie.

When I was in Year 3 (I was 7), my class read ‘The Hobbit’. I’d read it before, but something about having it read aloud to us set my imagnation ON FIRE. I went BONKERS. I made a Gollum puppet in Art, even (mum still has it). I drew dragons on EVERYTHING, and generally raved on about it to my whole family, and they indugently smiled and nodded and left me (the nerdy, bookish one) to my nascent literary fangirling.

Not so my uncle Puss.

My Uncle Puss was my mum’s brother, and a very intelligent, shy, gentle man. He barely knew what to do with my sister and I, because we were loud and dramatic and theatrical as kids, and he would retreat a lot. But me ranting about The Hobbit drew his immediate and undivided attention, and it was like opening a door into a whole new person. It was Uncle Puss who told me that there was a sequel, and that it was MASSIVE. And that after that, there were whole languages, and a mythology, and so much more!

Tiny me: THERE’S A WHAT???? OH MY GOD, GIMME. 

My Uncle Puss was, in other words, a fellow nerd. And I didn’t know until that moment. It became a thing we shared, this world we loved, and the rest of our family teased us about our nerdery. This awkward shy man and this awkward dramatic little girl, enthusiastically shouting together about Elves and Hobbits and Dwarves.

(He ALSO introduced me to Star Trek TOS.)

He gave me my first copy of LOTR. It was his own, actually, and I treasure it still. I have other copies now, some very pretty and fancy, but his was the first and most special. He gave me all of HOME for my birthday, a volume each year. I am holding his copy of the Silmarillion in my hand. It has his name on the inner cover.

Uncle Puss was not a well man. He was bipolar and schizophrenic, and disappeared about fifteen years ago – just before the films came out, actually. He’s presumed dead now. I miss him still. 

So yeah, it is the books first, for me. Always the books first. 

You know, this is probably kind of morbid, but I can’t keep off thinking about scene in DoS where Thorin and Co run into a chamber full of dwarven corpses. And the bodies look like porcelain dolls. And I’ve been thinking ever since, what if dwarves do turn back into stone after their death? that’s why they have to be burried inside mountain, that’s why Burnings after Azanulbizar were such a tragedy – they couldn’t return back to stone Mahal made them from.

AHH NONNIE – you’ve put your finger on one of my own headcanons!

I use this idea in Sansukh! We know from the Silmarilion that the elves believe that the dwarves ‘return to the earth and stone of which they were made’ (though in context this is sorta derogatory and suggests that Elves believe dwarves have no souls)

anyway, when I read that phrase i sorta gasped a bit – and then went slightly worldbuildery bonkers.  

So, the fic is peppered with phrases like ‘returned to the stone’ or ‘sleeps in stone’, and it’s not just figurative. 

We see skeletons in Moria, so I though ‘BONES OF STONE, BODIES OF EARTH PERHAPS?  Or maybe even dust?’ IDK, but it is such a great and slightly alien, nonhuman sort of concept aaaaaaaaaah