You’re the most amazing person ever tbh. You’re so nice, and super super super awesome and you know, you really honestly were a major help in recovering from my depression. Reading your work and being on your blog helped a lot. Hereby I thank you.

*hugs and hugs and hugs* I am so glad I could help. And you are amazing, Nonnie. You really are. It is so hard to live with depression. And you are moving forward and fighting it and picking yourself up again when it knocks you down: you are so brave. You are so amazing.

Sorry everyone for this shitstorm. Thank you to those who have been supportive. It sucks so much when your fave is always the target, and it’s nice to see that others actually understand that. It’s a hell of a reach and a bit ridiculous to call it ‘nerd elitism’ (easily refuted with a single look at my reclist, tbh) instead of what it is: unhappiness over a beloved character always and forever depicted as a scapegoat, an ass, a bigot or a laughing-stock.

Do. Not. Ever. Send. Anon. Hate. I repeat:

Do. Not. Ever. Send. Anon. Hate.

Thanks especially to those who have expressed sympathy to me, and given me advice on how to handle something that has blown up out of all proportion. I am not used to having a private opinion turn into an excuse for others to attack someone else. I am angry and disgusted at those who used me as their excuse to send hate: you appall me.

If you knew anything about me, you’d know how much I despise anon hate. I do not want ‘defense’ like yours.

I will not be using this blog to have personal opinions on characters or whatever any more. I’m a bit sad that I have to take the ‘me’ out of this blog in order to make it palatable. It’s been my little escape, my little place for three years now, but apparently the rules are changing and I have to adapt.

I am reaaaally not happy about being blamed for the words and actions of others. I have apologised already for my sad whine that others used to excuse sending anon hate to someone else. I do not need to apologise for things I have not said or done. The person who said those things is responsible for them. I do not condone or agree with any anon message that was sent to the other party. I am astonished that yet another negative and totally incorrect assumption is being made about me, and reported as ‘fact’, without even asking me. False accusations are very upsetting.

I do not feel it is my place to talk about another person’s personal life online, be it language status or place of residence, etc. Particularly if I don’t know anything about it. Because y’know – assumptions are usually wrong.

I am INCREDIBLY unhappy about being insulted and called ugly and derogatory names, all my hard work mocked and jeered at. I am a real person here, and that’s more hurtful than any character bashing. I have never seen such a mob mentality, all gleefully slagging me off without question or hesitation, putting the boot into me for something I didn’t even fucking do.

I am frankly amazed at people who think it is okay to tell anyone to kill themself. Particularly someone with depression – like. Thanks a bundle, you absolute asshats, you really do your friend proud.

I repeat:

Do. NOT. EVER. SEND. ANON. HATE.

I will leave my answers where they are. I do not have anything to hide – and it makes me glad in my friends to see that nobody has been insulted or attacked in the replies to my posts (something I can’t say about the anon haters – you still appall me, I want nothing to do with you). There’s no need to descend to that.

Anon is remaining off for the meanwhile, and if and when I ever choose to turn it back on, I won’t be answering anons who ask for my opinions again. I know, I know, and I’m sorry – I usually do my best to answer everyone, but again – I gotta adapt, it appears.

Sorry again, all. And thank you again, to those who have expressed understanding and agreement. You’re golden.

metamorphosisofmeg:

recovering isn’t about being better, it’s about getting better, stop putting so much pressure on yourself

Tiny cheer missile Frerinith is also used to good effect on Dis. Frerin goes and sits with her on her Bad Days and just plays with his toys near her bed or chair for an hour or two to provide a bit of distraction, or failing that, a bit of background noise.

AUGH

Yes, all of this, yes.

*wibbles a lot* Yes.

Why do you think that so many people are doing so many fanworks for Sansukh? Loads of fan art, and now a podfic that has a rotating cast because so many people want to be a part of it?

I’m thoroughly and continually bowled over that people love the story, and I am SO grateful for all the work and creativity and utter dedication of so many wonderful artists, singers and creators (and the all-round incredibleness of Ricky and Heuristic, without whom the podfic would have just been a pipe-dream). I was just expanding on how I deal with jealousy!

IDK, I have lingering self-esteem issues, no different to many other people. I’m better than I was (LOTS of work there) but I still don’t deal with jealousy directed at myself very well.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Two ways of answering this, I guess…

My own jealousy I am an expert at handling (I was a bullied kid with a super-talented sibling, heh). I will always wrestle with it, but there is no way in hell I will let it make my decisions or affect my relationships. I am very, very good at keeping it to myself.

Other people’s jealousy of me: I am very bad at this. Very bad. I haven’t much experience at it to begin with, and it’s confusing to me at times. I can’t really do it. I have a knee-jerk reaction to try and make them feel better, but that always leaves me feeling guilty that I can’t. Also, I begin to feel guilty about whatever it is that I have that they want.

Or worse, I begin to feel ashamed of my good fortune or hard work.

D’you think Bilbo ever suffered from any kinda depression? Kinda grim late night question I know but my own depression’s got me awake and here I am in your ask mouthing off (also big hugs for you, depression sucks and I hope you feel better)

I don’t know, Nonnie. Probably. Bilbo was very alone for over forty years, before Frodo came on the scene. That’s a long time. 😦

welp I’m back on the meds.

Huzzah.

Oh, nausea and insomnia and nerviness, I didn’t miss you at all 😦

43896:

sometimes people who are sad dont always need the “it gets better talk”

sometimes people just want to hear “you are sad, you are trying your best, and it’s okay. you’re okay and you’re alive and that’s a big accomplishment”

because i know for myself unconditional optimism gets really fucking annoying. sometimes i just want to be sad and have it be okay that im sad.

don’t make me feel weirder than i already do in my own skin.