fishfingersandscarves:

“I’m not alone,” she gasped over and over. “I’m not…I’m not alone

@determamfidd thank you for making Sansûkh the greatest it can be! 

(clink the image for a transparent surprise!)

OH MY GOD

OH MY BREAKING HEART

FISHY FISHY FISH THIS IS AMAZING – I am astounded, this is simply gorgeous! OH LEGOLAS’ FAAAACE – and ksajdfgljahsf gimli and Dis’ proportions (LIL DORF LEGS) and hair and I was goggling as it was and then

and then

i dragged it and *dies*

FISH. FISH OH MY GOD. *hugs* YOU GENIUS, YOU WONDERFUL TALENTED SKILLED HUMAN. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

tardislemur:

My dash is freaking out over the Sansuhk update, and I’m right there with them. I mean: it’s four in the morning, I didn’t get to sleep before 5am the past two days, I know I need sleep but I can’t even feel my exhaustion I’m so…wow. And what’s funny is that most the excitement is being caused by ‘Light on the Horizon’, which..wasn’t actually my favorite thing about the chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in absolute awe at @determamfidd. This song is 6 minutes of gorgeousness. I’ll probably steal the piano from my dad tomorrow and try and it out, and definitely force my friends who haven’t even heard of Sansuhk to listen to it. But my favorite part was actually the scene between Gimli and Dis. The symmetry with their first meeting way back in chapter 4, maybe. The words; the emotions. Even Thorin echoing himself. They’ve gone the full circle right back to where they began 

(If you haven’t read this fic and you’ve even remotely heard of LotR, go read it. Now. Here’s chapter 1.)

And then I realized: Dis’ own marriage was controversial. A princess marrying a poor stonemason? What scandal! She gave up her place in the line of succession (so her sons could inherit.) Of course she would be the first to support Gimli and Legolas. She’s been there. Which makes this scene all the more powerful. She’s looking at this young cousin of hers, a cousin who’s called her ‘aunt’ for 80 years, who’s she’s grown close to, and he’s telling her something that has to be the cruelest joke in Arda. How betrayed she must feel! But then…it’s…true.

I had to grip the side of my laptop while reading this because WOW OMG WOW holy heck you are so damn insightful I am just. staggered. Holy wow. 

Yes.

yes, it is COMPLETELY meant to bracket and reflect the first conversation between Gimli and Dis. It’s meant to echo it: the new loss versus the old – and unlike the first conversation, this one resolves. Thorin is, at last, heard. They all are. Before, they were shouting in hopeless desperation: now, she knows. She hears their words at long last.

And yes: Dis knows what it is to be at the heart of a controversy. And she knows what it takes to weather it. She’s behind them. All the way.

Lastly, absolUTELY yes: it seems like utter cruelty to parade before her all that she has lost. The first time we saw her in the fic, she was raging that she was alone. She was completely wretched with her utter aloneness. It appears to be the most exquisite and vindictive cruelty on Gimli’s part when he tells her – until she finally believes it – and then, at last, she understands that she is not alone. She has never been alone.

That whole scene is a circle – or perhaps a mirror. It’s meant to be. 

I am so, so honoured that you felt that, and saw that, and it touched you. 

autistic-tauriel:

The new update hit me hard tbh

*gasp* oh my GOD Haeley oh my GOSH OH MY GOD that is gorgeous, she is so gorgeous – oh my GOD

the softness of her, the age, the weight in her expression, that hand clamped to her heart…! this is THE ACHE OF LETTING GO, ANd oh it aches, oh it aches and aches and AUGH… HER HAIR. THE DETAILS ON HER CLASP, the WRINKLES oh my heart – and so fast…!!!! HOW, oh my gosh, you are AMAZING!!

*hugs you* THANK YOU. Thank you so so much. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

Mrs. Dets, can you tell us if Thira is alright?? After what happened at Dain’s grave I wanted nothing more than to hug her and I hope that her son, Mizim or Dis did exactly that ;-;

Hi there Nonnie!

She’s staying with Dis, at the moment. She’s okay. She isn’t coming out a lot, after what happened. Her son and Bomfris come over each morning for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Mizim has been cooking for them both.

Genild and Beri have also been keeping an eye on her – Genild has known her a long time, from the Iron Hills. Now and then Dori drops by when his busy schedule allows. 

She will be all right – she’s iron all through, our Thira – but she’s had a very rough few months. 

“No, Frerin. You cannot tease them for reminding Gimli of Hobbits or vice-versa. Or I shall tell them about the incident with the cheese and the bedclothes and the crown and Father’s beard.” “Killjoy,” Frerin muttered. ..what happened

oooooh, lmao naughty Dwarf children playing pretend. Thorin was dressed as his grandfather, and he had pilfered Thror’s crown (!!!) and was wearing a coverlet as a cape. There was cheese involved (it was the Arkenstone). Dis-the-baby was standing in for Hrera with a rattle for a sceptre. Her scowl was on-point. 

Frerin was to be Thrain, and he was doing his very best to draw the scar over his eye in ink. He couldn’t quite get it right, and so he used his sleeping father as a model. Thrain is tall, and Frerin couldn’t see properly, so he clambered up onto the settee to see better. 

He was carrying the ‘Arkenstone’.

He fell. Thorin tried to catch him. He tripped on his ‘cape’.

Ink and cheese everywhere – over everyone, but most especially on Thrain. The crown ended up with cheese all over it. It was a memorable awakening.

Dis was the only one who emerged unscathed. Fris walked in at precisely that moment, took one look, and walked straight back out.

Thrain’s beard was blue for a good time afterwards, and it took a while for the smell of goat cheese to fade. 

okay but crotchety old Dis, forcibly dragging Thranduil by his long, pretentious elven hair, into some semblance of character development; meanwhile, Vili, wearing a suitably skimpy cheerleader outfit, frantically waves pom poms at her, mouthing “that’s my girl!” and “I love you” every time she says something particularly cleverly cutting. the entire time, Dis is quietly muttering/thinking about how she is far too old for this nonsense.

OH MY GOD

That sneak peek! Dis! Thranduil being dragged kicking and screaming into character development! Vili! I just want to cuddle all of them and you. -sniffles-

Heeeeeeee, I am SO GLAD! Thank you, Nonnie! 

And yeah – Thranduil is absolutely resisting this new knowledge, he can’t find out ANYTHING terrible about Gimli – but he’s being forced to confront some of his own less-than-compassionate decisions heh. YOU’RE GONNA DEVELOP – WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, MISTER. :DD

Vili is such a goddamn sweetheart, I wanna hug him forever. And Dis needs all the love, god. So much love. 

Sansûkh – Sneak-peek ch44

so, current word count is… higgledy-piggledy. I have lots of different bits written, but at this rate they are gonna be scattered over the next three chapters. I still have to connect the dots, fill in the blank spaces, and then trim the dead wood. AUGH. 

ANYWAY! Here’s a little snippet. It may not make it into the next chapter, not sure yet, but I like it – and so here it is! For anyone who was wondering how Dis feels about Thranduil being in the Mountain… enjoy 😉

image

“Gimris tells me you have set your son to harassing her,”
Dis said. Her jaw was set and hard, and her eyes were flat.

Vili could see the stiffness in her limbs which told of
aching joints, the carefully-concealed tremor in her hands. She was so tired,
he thought, and closed his eyes to master himself.

“Princess, a pleasure to see you again,” Thranduil said, and
he rose in a smooth liquid movement and crossed to the sideboard. It should
have looked ungainly for him to use furniture so laughably small, but he
somehow managed to make it graceful. “Wine?”

“I am no longer a Princess,” Dis said. “And I would ask you
not to ignore what I just said.”

“I have asked him to find out all he can about this Gimli,”
Thranduil said, turning back to her. He had two glasses in his hands. “I
apologise that he has antagonised the Lady.”

“I ask you to ask him to stop bothering her at work. She is
a busy Dwarrow,” Dis said. “He does not endear his brother to her.”

Thranduil’s eyebrows rose slightly, as though he had not
even considered that. “She would not treat Legolas poorly…”

“No more than Elves would treat Dwarves poorly,” Dis
retorted, swift as a dagger in the side. “No more than an Elf would see a
starving child and turn away.”

Thranduil regarded her in stony silence for a second. “You
were that child.”

Her steely eyes narrowed. “As well you know.”

Thranduil held out the glass of wine to her, wordless. She
glared at it for a moment, before taking it in one crook-fingered hand. Her
breath was coming fast. “I’m one of the last ones left from that time,” she
said then, and took a large gulp.

“I am not sorry that we did not attack the dragon,”
Thranduil said, and his voice was strangely muted.

Dis looked up from her contemplation of her glass. “But you
are sorry for other things, aren’t you?”

Thranduil did not answer. He took a small sip of his own
glass, and his eyes did not leave hers.

She did not flinch from that unearthly, piercing gaze, and
neither did she look away. “Silver and steel all through, my darling,” Vili
murmured.

“Please take a seat,” Thranduil said eventually, and he
gestured with his goblet towards the low couches. “You should not be…”

“Standing so long, at my age?” Dis finished for him, and her
lip twitched. “No, perhaps not. I did not think you would understand that.”

“Perhaps I am learning.”

“Perhaps.” Dis’ look over the rim of her glass was
measuring. Nevertheless, she slowly made her way to a chair and eased into it.
“Well? I’m not going to be the only one sitting.”

Thranduil blinked at her bluntness, and Vili let out an
involuntary snort. Then the Elvenking made his way to a couch, and folded
himself upon it. His robes trailed upon the floor.

“Everything’s too small for you, eh?” Dis took a sip, and
watched him as he watched her back. “Now that we can access the wood and open the
quarries again, we’ll look into making some Elf-sized rooms. You can’t be
comfortable.”

“Is this an attempt at shaming me for my own lack of
hospitality?” Thranduil said, leaning forward. “I swear to you, it will not
work.”

“I don’t expect you have enough compassion for dwarves in
you to feel shame for how you have treated us,” Dis said calmly, and she took
another sip. “What matters is that you’re learning. Maybe one day you will.”

“I am several millennia older than you.”

“Congratulations.”

Vili stuffed a hand into his mouth. “Oh, my lark, you wicked thing,” he sniggered.

“It has been suggested that I cannot change so drastically.”
Thranduil took a careful sip of wine, and watched her some more. “What is your
belief, First Advisor?”

She shrugged. “People change. I’m guessing that goes for
Elves as well as Dwarves. Sometimes they change because they want to. Sometimes
they’re changed whether they like it or not.”

“I find that simplistic.”

“Once, you looked upon me as a child and called me
Princess,” she said, and tipped her head. Her voice was still perfectly level,
and her gaze crackled in the air between them “Then you saw that child wandering
homeless and starving, and turned away. Then you came to us with weapons in
your hand, and made siege upon our home. Then you sent aid to our people when
no other would. Then you fed us when we were starving. Now you greet me as
‘Princess’ once again, invite me into your rooms and offer me wine and a chair
for my old bones.”

Thranduil considered that. Then he lifted his glass in wordless
acceptance.

“Let me tell you a tale, Thranduil Oropherion,” she said,
and leaned back in her chair. “I was a jeweller in Ered Luin. My hands shied
from gold. I loved the touch of silver and moonstones, like shards of starlight
made solid. Yet I worked in steel, for there was little joy in the making in
that cold hard place, and my family needed to eat.

“One terrible day, I held a letter in my hand. It had been
sent from my cousin Balin. It told me that my sons and brother were dead. I was
the last. My entire family, wiped out, erased. My children slaughtered. My
brother murdered. I was alone, and I was forgotten in my grief as our people
struggled to live after our tragedy.

“Gimli came to me. Half a child still, his beard only just
sprouting. I raged at him.” Her lips were tilted in a faint smile at the
memory. “Oh, how I attacked him. That brave lad stood his ground in the face
of my howling anger and sorrow, and told me I was not alone. He called me aunt. He held me as I
wept.”

She put her glass upon the side-table, and stood with a soft
grunt of effort, straightening her back. “He came back every day,” she added.
“Every day.”

Thranduil was frowning slightly as he watched her leave.

thanks for reading ❤