And for the last day of Gigolas week I present @determamfidd‘s request of Gigolas in Discworld Watchmen uniforms. I went a little extra and made it sort of art for I Comma Square Bracket Recruit’s Name Square Bracket(I,[Recruit’s name])
Disclaimer: I’ve never read a lick of Discworld
I did it in pencil because my head is pounding and I had no wish to fight with my EVIL tablet
(yes that is a worrying number of exclamation marks!)
Laaace, I LOVE IT, thank you so so so sos SOOOOOOOOOOmuch! Heeeeeeeee Discworld and Gigolas! And the texture of the chainmail and hell yah Gimli’s beard and him calling Legolas a ‘Not Elf’ ❤
Thank you, thank you so much, you wonderful wonderful artist and friend!
I Comma Square Bracket Recruit’s Name Square Bracket
A Discworld Crossover Collision.
The new Watch trainees are an odd bunch. There’s a Dwarf, of course, but that’s practically routine in Ankh-Morpork these days. There’s a couple of Men, one of whom has a shiny shiny sword. There’s a bunch of Hobbits, new to the city, one of whom is a little quiet and subdued. There’s even a Wizard (thanks to Vetinari’s damned blasted equal-employment quotias). And lastly there’s a suspiciously pointy bloke who swears he’s not an Elf, even if he sings just a little too much…
When one of Gimli’s cousins seems to miraculously return from the dead only to report another missing person, a chain of events is set in motion that leads to this bunch of mismatched raw recruits stumbling into a new, unpleasant and dangerous sort of investigation…
I Comma Square Bracket Recruit’s Name Square Bracket
A Discworld Crossover Collision.
The new Watch trainees are an odd bunch. There’s a Dwarf, of course, but that’s practically routine in Ankh-Morpork these days. There’s a couple of Men, one of whom has a shiny shiny sword. There’s a bunch of Hobbits, new to the city, one of whom is a little quiet and subdued. There’s even a Wizard (thanks to Vetinari’s damned blasted equal-employment quotias). And lastly there’s a suspiciously pointy bloke who swears he’s not an Elf, even if he sings just a little too much…
When one of Gimli’s cousins seems to miraculously return from the dead only to report another missing person, a chain of events is set in motion that leads to this bunch of mismatched raw recruits stumbling into a new, unpleasant and dangerous sort of investigation…
“What Misty Mountains? Does he mean up by Copperhead?”
“Nah, he ain’t a Lancre Dwarf.”
“Uberwald, you reckon? There’s MMBU, after all*.”
“I dunno, think he’s a bit daft. He doesn’t even know the words to Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold**!”
“Poor bugger. Definitely daft. Look, he doesn’t even know how to quaff properly! It’s landing in his mouth. And when we gave him a rat-onna-stick, he went off on a proper rant – about honour of all things!”
“Shame! D’you think he’d mind if I had the rat then?”
“Nah, go for it. Only there’s no ketchup.”
“Oh. Well, no wonder he went off about honour. You don’t have a rat-onna-stick without ketchup. S’a mug’s game, giving a bloke a rat-onna-stick without ketchup.”
*Miles and Miles of Bloody Uberwald. **The all-time classic.
“With the boys out of the way, Sybil changed the world in her own quiet way, by sitting at the table in their apartment and writing, in the neat cursive script that she had been taught as a girl, a large number of clacks messages.”
Nae laird! Nae master! We will nae be Fooled agin! This wan, fur them Keldas Them Zeldas Deid bonnie lasses Fightin’, bitin’ Geein’ it yaldi in big toun Got blootered wit Daft Wullie Gon’ wallap meself, cowp meself doon
Ach, crivens! (Wha hae!) Kicked the police in the baws, aye Ach, crivens! (Wha hae!) If ye bring a lawyer, we say “Nae!” Ach, crivens! (Wha hae!) Shoot oour name, ye ken us well, aye? Ach, crivens! (Wha hae!) Oi, wee Hags? ‘Boot that Scumble… Bring it naow!
Coo-beasties will get snaffled (Moo!) Coo-beasties will get snaffled (Moo!) Coo-beasties will get snaffled (Moo!) An’ Wee Free Men gon’ leave ya baffled An’ Wee Free Men gon’ leave ya baffled An’ Wee Free Men gon’ leave ya baffled T’ursday nite, and we’re t’irsty, aye? Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! (Crivens!) Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! Nac Mac Feegle, wha hae! Oi, oi, oi, oh!
Hawd Wait a minnit Fill me cup, put some Scumble in it Ooh, ye can gie us a tad bigger nip than tha’, cannae ye? Mebbe half a pint more, and then anudder pint, tae keep chummy wit it? Roit then, jess leave the bottle, wyedon’tcher
(At this point, the entire song-and-dance routine devolves into a drunken brawl, or rather: an even more drunken and violent brawl than it started out as. Incidentally, you may wish to peruse one of the many lists of Scottish slang and jargon available online whilst reading these lyrics. You can learn all manner of fascinating new words and phrases, and deeper meanings of ones you already knew. For example, did you know that “Zelda” means “warrior woman”?)
As you might be able to see from the drawing above, I imagine that Ponder Stibbons would probably settle for a pointy hat with a large pocket in front, complete with the traditional nerdy pocket protector and assortment of useful pens, whereas Adrian ‘Big Mad Drongo’ Turnipseed and his fellow student wizards would probably come up with something similar to the Pyrus cap (so they could wear it back to front):
*No relation to Funkfreed, although they probably sound quite similar when they go “doh do-doh”.
Aw Yiss 