Tag: dwarves

Gimris and Baris are best friends, right? Does Gimris ever call Baris her “little niece” just to wind her up? omg does Baris ever call Gimris “auntie Gimris” when she needs something done?!

Baris only ever called Gimris ‘Auntie’ once.

The look her friend gave her was enough to make her wish she hadn’t ever done so. Not because Gimris was cross, oh no. Because she looked gleeful.

Ever since, Gimris has teased Baris by calling her ‘dear little niecey’ and ‘our Baris’ and the like, just to watch her normally rather cheery, jolly friend roll her eyes and scowl in mock-annoyance back at her.

Gimris is a snarky younger sister. Mock her at your peril. Older siblings, be warned.

(it’s actually not all that annoying – and who knows? Snarking with Gimris might build a bit of Baris’ social confidence. She’s not very assertive when she’s not onstage, after all.)

I sent some questions about Durin about a week ago but I think they got snatched up or something. So here goes, first: Since Durin has lived several lives he must have several families, right? Does he still visit them in the Halls (when he’s not out again). I can’t imagine he wouldn’t, given how important children are in dwarf culture. Second: I get the feeling the sayings by Durin’s ___ are going to get a might awkward in Erebor soon

Yeah, I think he definitely would. And of course, Durin has had children in past lives, and would still love and care for them. 

Oh, that saying! Durin gets really uncomfortable about all those sayings!!

Oh geez, Barur would be so pissed that he was limited by the whole siege thing when making food for his little sister’s wedding. Still, Special Efforts are made, which means that the food was amazing. Just a little low on certain ingredients, especially fresh ones.

YES ❤ Awww, Barur. Such a good big Bro.

(ohgod, he would be so surly. SO surly. Bomfris why why get married in the middle of a siege, what the hell are siblings, mahal dammit all, this recipe isn’t going to work without berries…)

Oh man, I’m picturing the argument about who’s going to officiate the Stonehelm/Bomfris wedding. They want it to be personal or family, which limits the possibilities. Dwalin sees what’s in the wind and hides – he’s not nearly as good with words as Balin was, don’t drag him into this! Eventually Gloin is roped into doing it.

Dwalin: No.

Stonehelm: but…

Dwalin: No.

Dis: Don’t look at me either. I’m done. 

Orla: I don’t do public speaking. I do public intimidating.

Dori: I’m already doing everything else! I’m doing the decorating, the tables, organising the music and the speeches and the stylists and the…[goes on for three pages and finishes with] and so, King or no, if you think I’m taking on yet another thing, well then Mister Stonehelm, we shall be having a little… talk.

Stonehelm (hurriedly): forget I asked.

Bofur: Sure thing! Although, I cry at weddings, really big blobby tears, but if that’s not a problem, then…

Stonehelm: Uh.

Bomfris: He does. He bawls. Loudly.

Bofur: (cheerfully) Like a wee baby!

Mizim: *sighs* Gloin, dear.

Gloin: (grumbling around his pipe) Aye, all right then.

Mizim: (whispers) he’s been dying for you to ask. Soppy old romantic that he is.

Gloin: What was that?

Mizim: Nothing, you dear old bear.

real talk now, how amazing do you think dwarven plumbing and drainage has to be to cope with ALL THAT HAIR EVERYWHERE seriously in the basins on the floor on every cloth surface in every room but especially the washrooms omg

This would certainly explain why Hobbit plumbing simply could not cope.

the plugholes would have to have the finest and most amazing grommet/grates imaginable. Can you imagine the epic shower hair-catchers they’d have to install?! I bet there’s a whole line in drain-unblockers and fancy plungers. Good grief. 

Thinking about awkward Stonehelm/Bomfris newlywed shenanigans gives me life,

ohgod so awkward, all the awkward, awkward-limit exceeded, overload imminent. 😀

Just him seated at the dinner all, ‘right, she’s your wife, you know wife wife ahhh you know her, she loves you, she loves you, it’s all fine it’s all wife, oh my Maker say something wife say something smooth, you dulled axe, say something nice, say something WIFE.’  

“Uh.. so I liked your. Um. Today. Dress.” 

YOU IDIOT, WHAT A KING OF PRIZE FOOLS YOU MAKE, his brain hollers. And he turns red.

She’d scowl, because hate dresses, hate them SO MUCH, but at the same time he’s all big-eyed and pretty and HER HUSBAND and Mahal help her did she really trip on this thing when he went to kiss her in front of everyone. She faceplanted into his chest. Just. So much embarrassment. SO much. Ended up yelling at the stupid dress. Ended up yelling at Gloin (who was officiating). Hid for half the reception behind the food-tables with Tuac (what? She was starving. The cheese rolls were really really good?)

Tiny embarrassed smiles shared between them.

“You have crumbs all down your front,” he would say, very gently.

“You’ve got my makeup on yours,” she’d retort. “Dumb dress.”

“Dumb dress,” he would hasten to agree, and then he’d fumble for her hand. And turn to her, all forced-casualness. “Want to get rid of it, then?”

“No wonder you’re King,” she’d say, grinning. Because what a line. What a goof. What a dumb, lovely goof: her high-born royal dork of a husband. “Let’s get out of here.”