Iron Hills Dwarves: *fight and die at Azanulbizar*
Iron Hills Dwarves: *SAVE THE DAY IN THE NICK OF TIME*
Iron Hills Dwarves: *limp back home*
***TIME PASSES AND***
Thorin: yo wanna go fight a fire-breathing dragon
Iron Hills Dwarves: are you nuts we haven’t even recovered from your last goddamn family reunion
Blue Mountains Dwarves: oh hey you’re right we won’t go either
Thorin: come ON you guys
Blue Mountains Dwarves: lol no
Iron Hills Dwarves: lol no
12 Dwarves ONLY: (not the best, nor brightest) yeah all right then
***TIME PASSES AND***
Thorin: FUCK okay the dragon’s dead but I have some problems
Thorin: Army-shaped problems
Thorin: two of them. Also on a related note, Thranduil is still a dick.
Iron Hills Dwarves: OH FFS yeah okay hold tight we’ll be there in a sec
Iron Hills Dwarves: *run all day and night in full armour with supplies on their backs*
Iron Hills Dwarves: *fight and die at Erebor*
Blue Mountains Dwarves: *business as usual on the other side of the world*

Fandom: …
Fandom: right so the Iron Hills are Bad Mean Evil Greedy Lazy Dwarves
Me: *screaming*

Hi Dets! I was just curious about something – have either Nori or Ori run into their dads in the Halls? Or would they want to?

Okay, I’m gonna post the blurb so I can refresh people’s memories, hahaha!

Meet a Dwarrowdam – Zhori daughter of Yori

Zhori was a middle-class weaver, descended in direct line
through her mothers from the famously controversial concubine of the 25th
century of the Third Age, Ymrís. This was a matter of shame for the family, who
did their best to keep the matter hushed up. Zhori was very beautiful, with
soft brown hair that silvered early in her life, a full and luxurious beard, and
a stout and sturdy frame. She was reasonably well-to-do, comfortably set up,
and her beauty attracted many admirers. However, Zhori, a life-long romantic at
heart, was unfortunately terribly unlucky in love. She spent her whole life
searching. Her first husband, a handsome young miner, had married her dutifully
when she fell pregnant. But he then fell in love with another Dwarrowdam and
left Zhori soon after the birth of their son, Dori. They remained in touch, and
she held no ill-will towards him. Zhori remained alone for fifty years before
she tried her hand at love again. Her second husband was a dashing rogue and a
charmer, and he was killed in a game of chance while Zhori was pregnant with
her second son, Nori. Late in her life she was surprised by the advances of a
fellow weaver, and her third son, Ori, was conceived out of wedlock. Her sons
were fiercely protective of their mother, and they habitually referred
to themselves as the ‘sons of Zhori’. She was one of the few Dwarrows to die of
old age in the turmoil of the past two centuries, passing away peacefully in
her sleep in Ered Luin.


And now to your question, Nonnie! Actually – yes.

Ori was surprised to discover that he looks remarkably like his dad. They aren’t exactly close, but they are friends. Roi is a gentle, dreamy-eyed sort of Dwarf who likes his weaving and his sketching and his pipe, and is bemusedly proud of his rather famous son. He remains close to Zhori, too, and is still very much in love with her.

Nori immediately picked his father’s pocket, sad to say. They have a prickly biting sort of relationship. Nori isn’t quite ready to forgive the feckless, dashing Nevi for getting himself killed and leaving Zhori alone again… particularly because it appears that Nori is more like Nevi than he would care to admit. They routinely snark and aim little barbed remarks at each other. When that doesn’t quite satisfy, there’s always petty theft 🙂

Dori’s dad is there too. They don’t talk to him much, though they’ve noted that 

Dánin has the same splendid ears as Dori. Zhori holds no ill-will to her first husband, though her sons aren’t nearly so charitable towards the Dwarf who left her when Dori was only a baby. Even Ori gets rather pugnacious. 

will we ever see petty-dwarves in aulë’s halls? also will we get to hear narvi’s whole backstory (and sad things abt celebrimbor) or will you just keep it to little hints?

Ah, not really incorporating the petty-dwarves in any way tbh, Nonnie. They were rather suspicious in the first place, and with even more cause than regular Dwarves. And they were never numerous, so there really aren’t that many at all, even in the Halls.

And 2nd Question: probably hints, sorry again, Nonnie. I adore Narvi, but she isn’t the focus of this tale. She may end up with a story all of her own in the Appendices, however! I am fully down for that! 🙂

The Dwarvish Name Song

poplitealqueen:

If you say you’ve never mixed up the names, you’re lying. If you say you don’t thank your lucky stars that Dets differentiates between the three Thorins in each scene they share, you’re lying. If you say you read the first sentence of Baris’ audition slide perfectly the first time you recorded, you’re definitely lying.

I’m messing with you. Here, have some shitty song lyrics as an apology!

 (To the tune of ‘Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo’ )

***

I said Haban when I meant Hrera, 

and Bomfris when I meant Baris.

Too many names and they all sound the same

But still I’ll audition for this!


There’s Thorin and Thrain, plus his first cousin Nain

and who could forget about Dain?

Then Balin and Dwalin, oh lordie I’m fallin’

But still I’ll audition for this!


We haven’t begun with all of the fun

Just wait till you look at this list.

Too many names and they all sound the same

But still I’ll audition for this!


Alris had Baris, then Barum and Barur, then Bomfur and Bolrur, too

Followed by them was the dancer Bofrur–

Then came out Alfur, followed by Bomfrís-

Then Alrur, then Alfris-

Ending with Bib’ and Albur.


…Holy freakin’ shit, how many exist?!

 I’ve only just scratched the surface!

But hell is this fun, and that’s not a pun

I’ll sure as hell audition for this!

LAUGHING MY WHOLE ARSE OFF

MISS POP YOU ARE A TREASURE AND A GEM THANK YOU SO MUCH

dets i have a question, i don’t kno if tumblr ate it before – which dwarves have reverted to younger than the ages when they died, and why does that happen?

Hey Nonnie! Nope, I didn’t get it! gdi tumblr stop playing with the layout and actually fix the real problems ahhhh

Oooooookay, well – it’s another very personal thing, and Mahal takes that into account when you are remade. Some dwarves feel themselves to be younger, and others are okay with their age at the time of their death. 

(and then there are those very few young ones who have no chance of being reborn, like Frerin.)

TBH, some of these dwarves ARE pretty crusty and creaky when they finally pop their clogs: Dain is 252 at the time of his death, and that is old.

So, those who are fairly unchanged at death so far are: Thorin, Fris, Hrera, Ori, Bifur, Fili, Kili, Vili

Those who have been remade as a slightly younger version of themself are: Oin, Balin, Thror, Thrain, Dain, Bombur