Oh, thank you Nonnie! 

Well, I am using a reasonable amount of Tolkien’s writings about Elven sexuality, really – and then imposing my own slant on things, hahaha! These bits in particular:

“In all such things not concerned with the bringing forth of children, the neri and nissi (that is, the men and women) of the Eldar are equal…”

But all these things, and other matters of labor and play…may at different times be pursued by any among the Noldor, be they neri or nissi.”

So, from this I take away that Elven gender roles and gender norms are basically nil. Therefore, I am headcanoning Elves as very accepting of the gender spectrum and of gender expression. They’re a slightly androgynous race already, so to push those boundaries doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to me. 

Also, this: “It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage.”

So, casual sex amongst Elves is a no-go. This is sliiiiightly different to the situation with Dwarves, who only love once. Love and sex are not necessarily connected. So a Dwarf might have a friend-with-benefits or a one night stand and no problems, thanks mate, that was fun: not so for an Elf. 

I think that (as with Dwarves) such an ancient race would have full acceptance for all forms of sexuality. Ace/demisexual/greysexual Elves are pretty much canon in some respects, anyway. So there’s that. 

So, anyway – in Sansukh, the Elves have a full respect and acceptance for all forms of gender expression and sexuality. Unlike Hobbits.

This is admittedly based on my own experiences with small-town life. Provincial isolated towns are… not always accepting. Sometimes they are, but in my experience, more commonly they are conservative and parochial and gossipy. So, I have made it so that Hobbits are very disapproving of a departure from ‘the norm’ – which fits in fairly well with the stated general attitude towards Bilbo and Belladonna Took and anybody just a little different in any way. Hobbits totally play respectability politics. They’re concerned with ‘properness’. I’m aware that this idea isn’t popular in fandom!

That said, queer Hobbits do exist. They are just considered, well, queer: odd and slightly scandalous. Less so amongst the great Families – the Tooks and Brandybucks, who are much more widely-travelled, learned and adventurous. Gender-noncomforming and LGBTQIA+ Hobbits would be far more accepted in Tuckborough or Buckland than in Hobbiton or Frogmorton or any of the other villages, which are full of Chubbs and Grubbs and Bracegirdles and Boffins and Proudfeet, all gossping merrily away. “Did you hear about that Hornblower lass, my dear? Isn’t it positively outrageous! Terribly so, my dear! What about the Brandybuck lad? Utterly shocking! Such a scandal!”