IT’S EUROVISION TIME!

stereden:

stereden:

First semi-final starts now! Go Belgium!

No offence to my australian peeps ( @ozhawkauthor, @determamfidd amongst others), but I still have no clue what Australia is doing in the Eurovision Song Contest (though, your candidate is not half bad, I’ve got to say.)

Like, you guys are on the other side of the world.

Seriously, I don’t get it.

@stereden mate, I don’t even know. We got invited one year, and we’ve never left. We’re like vampires in flip flops. 

Still, it’s deeply, deeply satisfying to see an indigenous boy’s face plastered all over the biggest stage in Europe. Gotta say. 

My dash this morning, A Summary:

Europeans: NOT GAY ENOUGH

Europeans: wtf another fucking ballad, where are my lesbian vampire goths in space

Europeans: oh UK

Europeans: holy shit the Australians think this is about good music QUICK ACT NORMAL

Love Love Peace Peace: *happens*

Europeans: … yeah A+

Graham Norton: *throws so much shade it eclipses the entire northern hemisphere*

Europeans: SCREW YOU, “””NEIGHBOUR”””, WHERE’S MY 12 FUCKIGN POINTS

Europeans: nah we hate you bc of History, we’re voting for Australia instead, so swivel on it

Europeans: …so did we

Europeans: what

Australians: *waking up* what’s going on… aw sweet

Europeans: WAIT NO, WHOOPS, NOT LIKE THAT, NOT WHAT WE MEANT *panics*

Americans:

*jealous noises*

THEY DON’T EVEN GO HE- holy shit it’s gandalf and the master

Ukraine: *******POLITICS!!!!!********

Europeans: Oh thank fuck for Ukraine

Americans: *pout*

*glitter cannons erupt all over the stage*

Eurovision

Europe: PARTY GLITTER RAINBOWS BALLADS BETRAYAL AND GAYS ALL AROUND
North America: very confused
Latin America: slightly confused but have other things to do
Africa: not paying attention
Asia: does not care
Australia: PARTYING AT 4AM IN THE MORNING