you know what

i would actually be very interested in a modernised hobbit that had thorin and co. as jewish?

i mean i’ve seen gigolas fic where gimli kinda drew out the parallels between the jewish diaspora and the dwarves of erebor post-smaug’s attack but that was in a middle-earth setting

idek

i just thought it’d be interesting to see a modern!durin family that’s jewish and bilbo getting to know them (and celebrating hanukkah with little fili and kili say it with me d’awwwwwwww) and like, dis and thorin are reform and they occasionally butt up against the very orthodox balin but in the end they’re all family

has anyone done this yet even as a side detail to a larger au because i would be interested as hell in reading it

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE evil-bones-mccoy!

Sons of Jerusalem (Explicit) by Seashadows, wikdsushi

Going to Hillel is easier than cooking Shabbat dinner, and Theodor Derensky, Ph.D has settled into a comfortable Friday-night routine with the rest of the local Jewish community. When a confused and sleep-deprived triage nurse from Oxford stumbles in, however, everything changes.

Hilarious and clever, with clean prose and FANTASTIC dialogue. All the Dwarves are here – now and then it takes a moment to figure out which character is which, bc new names. But then it becomes natural, and you go ‘OH THAT’S DWALIN’ or “GLOOOOIN!’ There are utterly side-splitting laughs here, and a very grumpy, very gay Thorin (with a massive, loving, bickering Jewish clan) – and an utterly clueless and snappish nurse Bilbo.

This is awesome, and I am hanging out for more!

(Modern AU: Bagginshield, Nwalin, Gigolas, other pairings to follow!)

Comes Around Again – Chapter 14 – scarletjedi – The Lord of the Rings – All Media Types, The Hobbit – All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

scarletjedi:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

whoo!

*flips table* YAAAAAS

The Secret to Good Braids

renioferebor:

So, I was thinking of this headcanony thought about Thrór: that he is far too impatient to do his braids properly which drives his wife Hrera absolutely insane when they first meet, and she takes to doing the braids for him. And then, because clearly there is not enough angst in the fandom, I…

I AM CRYING THIS IS HEARTBREAKING. Also, it is amazing. Reni, it is amazing. Amazing.

I am utterly devastated – and thank you, thank you so much. THANK YOU. Oh my god. READ THIS!!

The Secret to Good Braids

Dain’s First Pig – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Guess whose written another #BATTLEPIG story for you determamfidd. yes i have started a series of them.

This is the story of Dain’s first pig.

OH MY GOD ADORABLE

(yessssss thorin and dain brotp yesssssssssss bitching to each other about being rulers at a young age bc nobody else gets them yessssssss: also BATTLEPIGS)

i love it! Thank you! (also – ahhhh eeep a series?!? OMG!)

Dain’s First Pig – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

A Heavy Burden – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

determamfidd I decided that what the Sansukh fans really needed was an angsty Dain fic… so here you go!

summary: Dain II Ironfoot had never wanted the crown. It had always been his older cousin’s burden to bear. Had never wanted to be a King.(This is pretty much a character study of Dain Ironfoot based on a mix between my headcanons and Determamfidd’s headcanons for him)

OUCH BATTLEPIG.

OUCH.

OUUUUUUCH.

*curls up in a corner w Pig Plushie* OUCH.

THANK YOU FOREVER FOR THE OUCH.

A Heavy Burden – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Stroke the Pig – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Another crack story for justatouchofgoldsickness renioferebor and determamfidd: Have you stroked my Battlepig? (Dain has a Battlepig with him in the council meeting and you’re not allowed to speak unless you’ve stroked the pig.)

Ohhhh Battlepig! This is awesome, I love it! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Hilarious – and oddly solemn, just like Dain himself <3333

Stroke the Pig – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien [Archive of Our Own]

Never Again

fae-of-the-rose:

Small ficlet inspired by determamfidd ‘s Narvi and Celebrimbor headcanon posts and therefore also inspired by “Sansukh”. You don’t need to read the fic to understand this, just know that Narvi is female here.

Warning: mentions of torture. Nothing too descriptive, but it is mentioned.

Read More

Oh.

Oh that hurts so good.

Thank you so much, Fae, it is beautiful and thoroughly devastating. I love it!

The Mighty Fall – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

My new story on AO3, a gift for determamfidd renioferebor and justatouchofgoldsickness (or Thror and Thrain in the Sansukh podfic respectively) Thrór, son of Dáin, King under the Mountain, the mightiest of the Dwarves of Durin’s line, has just risen from his throne to greet the Elvenking, tripped over his robes and sent himself sprawling face first across the hard marble floor at the base of the throne.

AWWW BATTLEPIG, IT’S LOVELY

hahahahahaha, no dignity for you, Thror (THRAIN PFFT). Thank you so much! *tacklehugs and #babybattlepigs*)

The Mighty Fall – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien [Archive of Our Own]

Frár/Lóni: Wicked. PWP lol

dain-mothafocka:

What? You thought I would stop writing Froni?

Well have I some news for you!

Quietness
sometimes permeated the Halls of Mahal. With the sheer amount of
dwarves that were here, silence was hard to come by, but occasionally
there would be an unsignalled down time where most of the Dead were
in…

AHHHHH THE HOTNESS UNF

Jade wrote extremely gorgeous Loni/Frar porniness again! THANK YOU!

Frár/Lóni: Wicked. PWP lol

Frar and Loni PWP Drabble: The Nature of Hastiness

dain-mothafocka:

So I wrote a porn for Dets because these assholes.

Of all the small miracles that happened in the Halls of Mahal, probably the one Frár best liked was this.

Not
even the food, nor ale that flowed from seemingly nothing, nor
anything else material he could wish for…

But this…

Easing
his…

HNNNNGH

Gorgeous, gorgeous Loni/Frar porniness. HNNNGH.

Jade, you are a good, good person. *fans self*

Frar and Loni PWP Drabble: The Nature of Hastiness