I think I’ll go have a drink too (just raspberry juice tho, there are only so many options when you don’t drink alcohol)
and I’m glad that Fíli missed it too, my boy didn’t need to see any of it
bagginshieldy air smooches are currently my fave thing
(raspberry juice sounds DELISH, I’ve never had it… right now my juicer is my fave thing ever 🙂
1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’
2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.
4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”
5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.
6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.
7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.
8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.
9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.
10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”
11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”
12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.
13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.
14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.
15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.
16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.
17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.
18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.
19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.
20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.
21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.
22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.
23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.
24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.
25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.
29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.
30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.
31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.
32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.
33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.
34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.
35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.
36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.
37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’
38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’
39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.
40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.
41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.
42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.
43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’
44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.
45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.
46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.
47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.
48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.
49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’
50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.
51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.
52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.
53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!
55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’
56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again: “Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in herr, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”
57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.
58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.
59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.
60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.
61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.
62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’
Summarised: yes, Dwarves can TOTALLY find romance in the Halls, but it takes a while because of the huge stagnancy/inertia of the Halls. They are a place of waiting, and of peace, basically. So things happen slowly, if at all.
(still, Bifur and Ori managed to discover love for each other after death, so heyyy it happens!)
Oh yeah, other clans could totally happen! ABSOLUTELY happen. I mean, I have a few inter-clan relationships going on already… Bomfris is a Broadbeam, Orla is a Blacklock, Bifur, Bombur AND Bofur are Broadbeams… Gloin is ½ Firebeard… etc!
I think mingling would depend on the Dwarves as individuals rather than as a unit. Some would like to keep only to those folks they know – or knew, rather. Some are gregarious and curious and interested in meeting new people and learning about them!
(Bombur would absolutely be one of these… he’s a rather reticent fellow by nature, but he must-must-must know about their food, what are their cuisines like? Can he try it? What ingredient is this? May he PLEASE watch you as you make it???)
Awwww, thank you! But honestly, I am just a small, greyish, kinda meek music nerd, I’m not anywhere near as life-preservingly necessary to survival… ahem, awesome as coffee. You are really very very kind! It’s truly lovely of you to say that!
um, my first instinct was to be flippant at you here, Nonnie! But I am guessing you want me to Mum at you a bit? Okay, but I am a bit kerflummoxed here! Like, I hear food is highly recommended, and you can even go to sites where you input what you have in your cupboards and fridge and come up with recipes now. Catch a link here!
Anyway, Mumming at you. Here’s some ideas and some things I’ve used – mostly learned from my own mum, tbh. She is a KILLER GOOD COOK, btw, and it is thanks to her that we have our own garden and make so much stuff, not through any virtue of our own.
-if you dress a salad too early and leave it for too long, it will wilt and go mushy and gross. Likewise, sauce or mayo on a sandwich causes lettuce or salad leaves to go mushy if they’re not eaten straight away.
– Canned fish in a small workplace Makes No Friends.
– RICE IS AMAZING. Make cheesy rice balls, paella with chorizo and peas and saffron (a dinner staple for us, I always have leftovers), fried rice, whatever. It will keep and also be yum.
– frittatas, quiches and egg pies are delicious eaten cold, and can last two or three days in the fridge, depending on the ingredients (eat a tuna or salmon one on the same day or day after making, though). Make a big one and freeze that sucker in portions.
– Avocado is a time bomb. Dress it with lemon juice to keep it green straight after cutting into it, or it will begin to brown. Wrap it in plastic so that air doesn’t touch the cut surface.
– PASTAAAAAAAAAA. PASTA PASTA PASTA. We make our own – it’s not that time-consuming, and good god is it tasty (the machine is pricey however, if you get a decent one – and GET A DECENT ONE, the cheap ones are shit. It’s a great investment tho!). Just pesto and olive oil stirred through pasta is good enough tbh – or saute a few sage leaves in oil with garlic, until the leaves go crispy, and toss the pasta in that.
– wraps are Good, but better on the day of making (sauce or mayo again – things get Soggy so QUICKLY). Use leftover roast veg if you have any, but make sure they’re not too oily or the bread will (once again) go mushy.
– make your own pizza! You don’t have to make the base, if you’re pressed for time or spoons. Just use sliced bread and the grill. Many mini-pizzas! SO not authentic, but hey, meh. Toast the bread first. Add what you like to it, but perhaps don’t get too flush with Cheese or Sauce Power (again: SOGGY THE NEXT DAY). Anchovies also Make No Friends in small offices.
– Jaffles (I think US types call them a Grilled Cheese?) but you can add so much more than just cheese and ham and tomato. Crack an egg into it, add leftover cooked veg, pesto, beans, leftover chicken, whatever you have lying around.
– I like pulses – they’re hella cheap and tasty. Barley goes great in salads and with roast veg like potatoes and carrots and pumpkin, cooled and sprinkled with balsamic vinegar. Chickpeas can be tossed with veg and herbs and flavoured oil. You can make yummo daal! I love daal, it’s VERY CHEAP, and my kid loves it too: lentils and spices and onion makes a good one, but buy decent ghee if you can, i find it makes a difference.
– noodles, but leave that ramen packet aside, my friend, it is pure Salt. Add sliced and stir-fried veg like carrot, snow peas, choy sum and capsicum, and if you have any leftover chicken or beef or whatever, this is a good way to get rid of that. Dress that dude with a bit of soy sauce, a TINY bit of oil, sprinkle with sesame seeds or a weenie splash of sesame oil. Yeaaaaaaaah.
– Casseroles in the slow cooker! Put it on overnight, and it’s ready in the morning. Freeze that sucker in small individual containers, and you have lunch sorted for a week. Doesn’t have to be elaborate. Slow cookers make magic happen.
okay, I think there will most likely be a thing you can eat in all of that! Hope it helps, Nonnie 🙂
In celebration of The Time of Two Updates, I give you: Broadbeam Dumpling Stew. Dunno if you’ve made it yet yourself (the first/lamb version) but $*$(#*$& is it tasty.
*mouth waters*
waaaaaant
nope, by the time winter shuffled away here in Australia, I’d forgotten to make it!! It’s stiflingly hot here now, darnitall. GODDAMN I WANT THAT. THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS.
Aw Yiss 