Tag: frerin

Loss That Burns – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

flamesburnonthemountainside:

I wrote a sad thing… (very) short modern au of a house fire inspired by Thorin’s line "You turned away from the suffering of my people and the inferno that destroyed us" in DoS

determamfidd for you! I borrowed Frís and Hrera for this story 😀 and for liketotessecret who has written many sad things, so in retaliation, here you go!

Also tagging docmanda justatouchofgoldsickness renioferebor and dragonmad and the rest of the Sansukh cast.

AUGH OH MY GOD MY HEART OHHHH DISSSSS

BATTLEPIG YOU ARE MORE EVIL THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO BE

TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

Loss That Burns – applepieisworthit – The Hobbit – All Media Types, The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Now I’m having a bunch of feels about Dis in the Halls. Chasing her boys around. Teasing Thorin and Dain. Building Frerin up. Spending time with her parents and grandparents. So much Dis/Vili love.

zksdgfjlsdhgjfalsgfaljshdgfsakjhfdajsh AUGH DIS FEELS AUGH OH NONNIE YEOUCH

It’d take some time, I think, for her to get to the stage of teasing and chasing again. My version of old!Dis is not cheery and brisk and sassy, after all… she is grim and hurt and hard hard hard, turned very nearly to ice by everything she has lost. Song of Steel, her Dark-name means. It suits her.

I think she would need to learn to smile again, to laugh and tease freely without bitterness. She has been alone so long, and that doesn’t just evaporate… She should never be left alone, not ever.

Her boys staying close, their heads resting on her knees or lying on the floor as they read or play a game or talk… her brothers always flanking her as they show her the Halls together… Hrera working beside her at her jewellery-table, Thror bringing her meals… Dain plopping a sweet and sleepy piglet into her lap… Thrain kissing her brow and never letting go of her hand, Fris always humming so that Dis can hear her, stroking back her hair…

Vili, holding her tight at night, so that she never wakes and thinks herself back in her huge and cold bed in Erebor, so very alone, always alone.

Autocorrect fail – Dis is teary is right, Discis Geary is a sham. Sorry. And Dis and Dain asking Frerin a bunch of questions about the Halls and the people and he feels so needed and loved and urg. He calls Dis nadadith and she smiles.

(Ahhhh I see! LOL, excellent autocorrect fail. Discis Geary sounds a bit like a Sci Fi name. Maybe a mercenary, a veteran, yeah – they’re old, with muscles that stand out on their skin like twisted brown ropes. They’d keep to themself, their eyes shuttered and hard… yeah, I bet ol’ Geary has seen some shit.)

OH YES OH PERFECT. Frerin being validated, ngggh, everything about affirming Frerin is my jam. And augh NADADITH auuuuugh… this steel-souled grey-haired Dwarrowdam smiling unfettered and carefree, like a little child, at the sound of his voice saying that word to her. 

Dis who calls Frerin her big brother after she dies. Frerinith puffs up proudly, Discis Geary.

(someone pls tell the poor dumb Dets what Discis Geary means? I looked it up, but I am p sure it doesn’t refer to a choral director or a Discus training centre….!)

AWWWW THO. AWWW. I can see Dis and Dain in on this together, those two dear old friends: both helping Frerin re-establish and connect, to bring back to life those old relationships 

because no matter what has happened or how long they haved lived without him, no matter how (terribly) young he is, he is always and FOREVER his “big cousin”, her “big brother” I just aasdfglasdjhfgjsalhfdaf

So. How bad is it that I am REALLY looking forward to Dis dying and being reunited with all of her loved ones and seeing her parents and her brothers and her sons and VILI (oh god, Vili, you heartbreaking sod, you, visiting her EVERY DAY) and just being able to let go of all of the emotions she’s held in for so long and – oh god. I just want her to be able to be happy. But also dead. And maybe making fun of Thorin because what else are younger sisters for?

Oooh, Nonnie.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her parents. Thrain running his thumb gently across her face, across her cheekbone and stroking the side of her beard. Don’t imagine him smiling at her with trembling lips, telling her that he is so proud, nathith, so proud. Don’t imagine Fris wrapping her arms around her last child and holding her to her heart; don’t imagine Thrain tugging them both close and tight, cocooning them with his body, pressing whiskery kisses to his daughter’s temple. Don’t imagine the words they would say. Don’t imagine the tearing sound of Dis’ sobs.

Don’t imagine her grandfather kissing both her cheeks and her forehead, and then gathering her close. “Sparrow, our little sparrow,” he would murmur, and she would remember what it cost to lose him, what it cost all of them. Her grandmother’s clever hands stroking Dis’ hair, her soothing, no-nonsense voice, calling her “Dis, darling,” as she did, so so long ago. They have the same hands.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her (little) big brother. It has been centuries, she can’t even remember him clearly, but at the smell of his hair and the sound of his voice, it comes rushing back, so fast and powerful it is nearly a physical blow. His weight against her is so small, so slight. 

Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her sons, her madcap bright-eyed darlings. Don’t imagine her crying into their hair. Don’t even entertain the idea that she cannot stop kissing them even for a moment, her grasping hands frantic, her eyes half-blinded by her tears, gripping their clothes so tightly that her arms shake. I’d advise against dwelling on the whiteness of her knuckles, the tenderness in her kisses, how her head bows and her shoulders shudder at the sound of those voices calling her ‘Amad’ again, at long last: Amad, Amad, we missed you Amad.

Whatever you do, don’t think of her pressing her forehead against Dain’s, her cousin, her borrowed-brother, and cursing him for leaving her as well as he throws his arms around her and rocks her back and forth. The last one, she was the last one. Don’t think of Dain gently prying free and wiping her eyes (hopeless, a hopeless task) before turning her around to face the one standing behind her. Don’t picture him giving Dis a little push towards her eldest brother. 

You definitely shouldn’t visualise the look in her eye as she stares at Thorin, stricken. It’s not a good idea to imagine the harsh rasp of her breathing as she curses him and curses him, twice as hard as she ever did Dain, all the while stumbling over to him and throwing herself at him with outstretched arms. Don’t imagine how she clings to him as though he is a tree against a storm, how she buries her head against his shoulder and cries and cries, her whole body wracked with it, and he too smells just the same.

And the last thing you should ever do is imagine her greeting her husband. 

No, you shouldn’t do that at all.

Frerin and Dain totally combine forces to prank Thorin. The pig-drawings-in-the-forge incident? Half of them were (very badly) drawn by Frerin. Dain keeps calling him his “big cousin” and Frerin’s chest puffs up every time this happens. Fili and Kili’s worldview gets very shattered by how ridiculous and over the top their uncles and cousin Dain get in their pranks.

SNERK OH YES, poor Fili and Kili!

the real surprise would be how inventive Thorin is in his retaliatory pranks, lolol. Frerin didn’t call him ‘the leader of all their pranks’ for nothing. 🙂

I absolutely love Dain calling Frerin his big cousin. I absolutely do. It’s not mockery of Frerin at all: it’s Dain actively reforging that relationship they had, over two hundred years ago, when he was a little ginger tribble bobbing at Frerin and Thorin’s heels. Thorin is twenty years older than Dain, and that’s a big gap (Dain idolised him, in Sansukh – just like his son later did)… but Frerin is younger, closer to Dain in age and temperament. They would have been more like equals.

I really like them trying to rekindle those very fundamental relationships and roles, even though they have grown so much and are all so very different. It’s good for Frerin to know that not everything changes, and that his connections are still there, underneath everything that has happened. Poor little frozen Frerin.