Tag: FUCK

kaible:

caecilius-est-pater:

sarahruhlofficial:

the oompa loompas are a greek chorus

First of all, I hate this so much. Second of all, imagine if the two switched places.

(Veruca falls into the trash chute)
Chorus: Pray thou no more; for mortals have no escape from destined woe. Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness; and reverence towards the gods must be inviolate. Great words of prideful men are ever punished with great blows…

(Oedipus stabs his eyes out)
Oompa Loompas: Oompa loompa doopity do
I’ve got another riddle for you
What do you get when you sleep with your mum?
A curse on your kids for decades to come~

1) this is hysterical and 2) think about the eons of culture that have lead to the creation of this joke. I am humbled by this.

fluffmugger:

sapphysapph:

For the uninitiated, this is what Magpies are like during “swooping season” here in Australia.

  • Fun fact: people have been known to walk around with empty ice cream containers on their heads to protect themselves in lieu of helmets.

Things to remember:

1) This is an Australian magpie. it is not like European magpies.It’s not a flappy bappy chirpy little shitbag you can bat away with your palm. This is a fucking crow in cow makeup

2) Cats and dogs will not try and take them on because cats and dogs know they will lose

3) They live for 25 years and yes, they will remember your face.  Although I will confess that my 36 years of life I have never seen a dead one. Under tumblr logic this means they are immortal

4) They are insane. Cold stone bug-fuck insane.  And they give zero fucks.I’ve seen them attack cyclists, moving cars, trucks, even a goddamn train.

So imagine, if you will, you are walking merrily down a street one spring and suddenly this train-assaulting, cow-cosplaying ball of immortal feathers and batshit insanity comes screaming out of nowhere and tries to embed itself in the back of your skull, beak clacking like the pump of a shotgun as it tears out chunks of your hair.

This is Australia.

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

ayellowbirds:

nbhawke:

ready-to-be-strong:

I kind of want to see a story about an elf; tall, beautiful, clumsy as fuck, and an industrial worker who can’t do archery to save themselves and swears all the time.

And I kind of want to see a story about a dwarf; short, robust, hairy, elegant, sweet, very refined and a lover of poetry who’s never said a rude word in their life.

I just think it would be an interesting change of pace.

they’re girlfriends

they’re super fucking cute and i need more of this.