wow, can you be any more neurotypical. Lo and behold, I have been blessed by the presence of the Thorin-Is-Scum anon once again, this time poorly disguised as another ‘Guest’. I am lowkey impressed at your dedication – did you really wade through nearly 400K just to tell me how much you despise and hate people with depression and MI, and how unworthy they are of anyone’s esteem or admiration? How tiresome you find their struggles?
Go away. You are unwelcome in any part of my life, and that includes FFN. GO. AWAY.
(for those who cannot read the very small pic, transcript under the cut. Though I honestly wouldn’t bother. I’m only posting it here bc I am angry and need to yell at them to FUCK THE FUCK OFF, and I can’t do that on FFN.)
Far as I’ve honestly picked up, Thorin is the type of character who cannot see much of a reason to love himself – never has, and maybe never will. He doesn’t like himself as a person, and the more he looks at his past, the more he sees failure after failure after failure. His family, however, do not. They see the son who picked up the pieces and kept a broken people going. They see the brother who had to live for everyone else but himself. They see the uncle who struggled to keep the family alive. They see the cousin who had to keep thinking ten steps ahead just to keep his people alive.
And then there is Bilbo. Bilbo who saw everything that Thorin never could. Bilbo who saw someone honest and genuinely kind, someone who had been hurt by the world and so desperately wanted to punch back for a change that he decided to go up against a dragon. Bilbo who saw someone who so desperately loved his family that he would fight anyone and anything that threatened them. Bilbo who saw someone who wasn’t a king, but who was just Thorin – a dwarf who, as it seemed to Thorin himself, had nothing left in the world to lose.
The important part? Bilbo loved him, loved that dwarf that Thorin couldn’t see in himself. Even as Thorin seemed to lose himself, Bilbo didn’t give up on him. When even Thorin’s cousins and nephews didn’t speak up against him or try to stop him, Bilbo did, because he knew that the Thorin he fell in love with would hate himself for what he was doing.
Thorin is that person who was only kept going by the needs of others – if he didn’t have any family left, if his sisters and nephews and cousins were all dead, he would probably have given up. He didn’t live for himself, he didn’t think of his own wants and needs. It was always about others.
The way I’ve read Sansûkh, Thorin is slowly learning to love himself, and to live for himself as well as for others. He listens to his family. He lets himself be his mother’s little stormcloud, he lets himself be his father’s son. He lets himself be a big brother and an uncle. He relaxes more. And once he learns that Bilbo loves him, he starts to look for whatever it was that drew the hobbit to him in the first place. And he ends up learning to love himself a little more, because Bilbo does. There has to be something, right?
Thorin is and forever will be my favourite character in the Tolkien Legendarium. For his deeds, as well as for his personality. I love the pompous noble Thorin in the book, and I love the withdrawn and anxious and mentally ill Thorin in the movies. And I absolutely adore the mix of all this that appears in Sansûkh.
And just to add something. No, Gimli did not “get over” his issues. He learned, and is still learning. He is working on it, he is working on everything. And he has help to do so, help that he was willing to accept. The difference between Gimli and Thorin is that Thorin had to process everything alone before he was ready to actually accept that help. Gimli is what Thorin is not – open, more willing to change. Ever heard the saying that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks? Thorin is that old dog, and he is still having difficulties understanding and learning, whereas Gimli is the pup who is more open to trying something new.
thank you, tehri. you put this better than i ever could have dreamed.
Ooooh – I actually think of that dulled pewter/silver colour when I think of Thorin… that, and ice-blue. It’s his armour and his eyes! Also, that rich brown/black of his hair and furs. I guess?
I see rust-reds, warm chocolate browns and fire-gold for Gimli. Always, no exceptions. His name means ‘fire’ after all! 🙂
Dain is trickier for me. I see red, yes – but not the orangish rust-reds; I think of far brighter and richer reds, scarlets and blood-reds, the colour of his axe. And steel-grey, that cool, light, hard grey.
Anyway, that’s me! I am sure others will have ideas as well, but I hope that helped! I can’t wait to see what you are working on 😀
The different peoples of Middle-Earth have their own ways of farewelling the old year and greeting the new. Each race has its own rich customs and traditions to mark the winter solstice and the longest night of the year. Each is as distinct and unique as snow is to fire.
Post-holiday doldrums getting you down? Your family driving you crazy this holiday season? Or did you just have a lovely holiday, and are looking for the perfect treat to top it all off? Don’t care about the holiday season one way or another? Well, we at Sansûkh Productions have the perfect thing to send in the new year.
In short, we are thrilled to announce that this year, @determamfidd did us the honor of writing four holiday themed vignettes and allowing us to release them to you, our beautiful audience, at the same time the text version is posted (those of you who would rather read the fics first, we have a link to the text below). We are so grateful to both her and the cast members who were able to set aside their time this holiday to record lines on (very) short notice. We are so incredibly thankful for all of you, and wish you all the best in this upcoming year.
So, without further ado, you may find the podfic of Midwinter in the following places:
Click here for streaming/download link for the MP3 file.
Click here for streaming/download link for M4b file.
See below the cut for the cast list and full attribution.
Note: I had to go home for the holiday, and I recorded the credits at the last second before I left (while sporting a 100 degree fever). Consequently, I was obliged to re-record some sections on my phone (since I couldn’t bring my mic with me), so you’ll notice some sound discrepancies in the quality during the credits. My sincerest apologies for this, particularly to those folks whose names I failed to pronounce initially. >.< I’ll fix the file when I get back to my apartment, but in the meantime we thought it best to release the chapter in a timely manner. -HD
HERE IT IS HERE IT IS OH MY GOD THIS IS IT AND I AM NOT CALM
(reaction and a lot of flailing under the cut!)
okay – first off, that music is beautiful.
I love your voice, Ricky, your voice is like a salted caramel coffee poured into each ear ❤ As always, your delivery is so nuanced and intelligent and sensitive and clear. Oh whoa, ilu.
OH MY GOODNESS HD, HD AS LAEROPHEN BE STILL MY HEART, HOW MUCH PERFECTION??? HOW? Sardonic and long-suffering, and yet so so so LOVING.
Tiny Legolas! oh my god, OH WOW – you are amazing, @apalatablevastness, so incredibly versatile!!! ALSO ADORABLE OH WOW. “is this how it is?” = my heart exploded.
and you are the perfect mismatched siblings, so sweet and loving despite all that time and dissimilarity and oh my goodness th e dance the d ance HD you have slain me deaded
I would like to apologise for the line, “even the doughtiest Dwarves could not undo such devastation overnight” – that had to be a bit of a tongue-twister, SORRY RICKY YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU
oooooh sound effect for fire, OOOOH
Oh Dis, @grimminsanity your amazing mithril voice. Oh, you only have to speak a few words as Dis, and I am sniffling. You are a wonder.
FRERIN YOU ARE A JOY AND A TREASURE. SUNSHINE DWARF FOREVER ❤
Cully, once again you reduce me to a quivering freaking mess. YOUR GIMLI IS THE BEST, BEST, BEST, AND i LOVE YOU AND HIM. SO VERY MUCH. (also, so much sibling snark, help, i love the pair of you together faaaaar too much, there must be MORE)
GIMRISSSSSSSSSS ❤ Nota, bless you forever, your voice is delicious, and you sibling-bicker like a genius. So much fire and sass!
AUGH @the-dragongirl, your Mizim!!!!! That is one in-charge Dwarrowdam! And you, STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE LIKE A PRO, YOU FAB FAB PERSON!
Ohhhhhhh, gdi, Oin and Gloin together – @balinisballin and @gremlinloquacious, you are delightful and dwarvish perfection itself, I laughed aloud at your opening lines!!! (ALSO the ‘Elves charge like maddened pigs’ line – HALP TOO FUNNY)
FLUUUUUUKE, YOUR BALIN ❤ You have tripled my need to hug you until you squeak. You’re amazing!
(ahdglajshdgfalsjdhfgaksjhda FRERIN THE WORLD LOVES YOU TOO, YOU UTTER STAR)
Excuse me, Battlepig. EXCUSE ME. YOU. ARE. AMAZING. How dare you. How DARE you be such utter spot-on incredibleness. I am gasping at hearing you as Dain. GASPING. You’re stupendous, just in that first line. Holy hannah, I am floored.
Riza, your voice is so warm and friendly and gorgeous and BOFUR. SO BOFUR, the MOST BOFURISH. It’s like getting an aural hug!
AVIIIIIIIII! Avi, you are the most wonderful Stonehelm! THERE YOU ARE, BUTTERKNIFE, IT IS WONDERFUL TO HEAR YOU AT LAST!
ohhhhh the humming, ohhhhh the humming, shivers, shivers everywhere, my spine is all a-quiver
AUGH GULLS, GULLS IN MINAS TIRITH AUGH – how amazing is this soundscaping???? EEEEEE
@cagethesongbird – your Boromir!!! I am now UNCONTROLLABLY excited to hear you read his older self – you are completely tone-perfect, brave and proud and oh, it is AMAZING, you are so so brilliant! And you capture his wounded youthful pride and his complete devotion so utterly well, I am bowled over and in awe of you. the description of the Yestare celebrations!!! oh my GOD *bows down to you* Captain of the White Tower, I am so SO happy to hear you at last!
KEN KEN KEN MY KING! *wibbles all over you* AUGH AUGH YOUR ARAGORN, HELP, I HAVE A PROBLEM, IT IS TOO AMAZING, my heart is trying its damndest to BREAK over all that noble weariness, all that conflicted sorrow and longing to belong, all that heaviness and wisdom… AUGH AUGH AUGH also you should always speak in Elvish bc hot damn
folding. paper. folding. paper. The attention to detail in the sound design, the creasing paper and the soft whoosh of the wind around the tower – I just need to love on that for a few seconds <33333
Oh my goodness Ricky, you can hear how much FUN you are having with the Hobbity exposition!!! SO PRIM, SO TWEE, OH HOBBITS ❤
asldjgfsjaldhfgalsjdfga FROOD! My dear Antipodean Hobbit, how I adore you (and your beautiful accent!!!) you are absotively, posilutely GORGEOUS. And oh, your understatement is SO PERFECTLY FRODO – his unassuming bravery, his cheekiness, his unspoken baggage when it comes to being packed off in Brandy Hall, and his unconscious defence of Rorimac, and aargh, my heart, you are a gem beyond compare. (Also I snickered far,far too loudly at ‘you’re not serious.’ bwaaahahahahahaha, THE MOST STRAYAN OF DELIVERIES, my dearest Frood!) ❤
And itty bitty teeny MERRY! oh my god, you’re completely PRECIOUS I AM GONNA SQUEAL, you will destroy me with pure concentrated ADORABLE! I actually let out a squeak at ‘SHOVE OVER!’ and oh help me @ “I’m invited to the Party, but not the adventure. D’you think Mr. Bilbo might take me to see Dwarves and that?” YOU ARE ILLEGALLY CUTE. I ARREST YOU IN THE NAME OF MY SANITY. ‘Aooowwwww but MUM!’ = I EXPLODED.
Once again, @themadmanwithablog, you make me lightheaded with how wonderful you are – your humour, your warmth, your exasperation and intelligence and briskness and beautiful voice! I was smiling like a loon at every single one of Bilb’s lines, they were all utterly wonderful. Special mention HAS to go to ‘Yes, of course you do, I remember you advising against it quite well indeed.’ *Standing ovation* Bravo!
EEE PARTY MUSIC PARTY HOBBITS
holy heck, @strongenhelm – I am now convinced you are either Sir Ian McKellen himself, or you’re holding him hostage. YOUR VOICE, YOUR VOICE, GOOD GRAVY. From the first word, I can SEE GANDALF in that moment, the millennia weighing on him, all his weary humour and care. And I adore the little laugh on ‘approve’ awww. Your timing is stupendous, whoaaaa, I am flattened in awe. SERIOUSLY.
oh noooo no that can’t be the end already NO AARGH I LOVED IT I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU SO MUCH. I have ascended and am now a being 100% composed of sheer admiration for all of you. You astound me. Thank you.
The different peoples of Middle-Earth have their own ways of farewelling the old year and greeting the new. Each race has its own rich customs and traditions to mark the winter solstice and the longest night of the year. Each is as distinct and unique as snow is to fire.
This piece requires some explanation. Its kind of a “missing scene” from Walking After You, except that it isn’t. Or I guess I should say that it’s just written in the
context of my Fortune series but really isn’t part of it. Think of it as something that might have happened, but did not.
This is my first time writing femslash and maybe second time writing anything over a teen rating, so apologies if something comes off odd (although anything with Galadriel involved is bound to be strange). If you haven’t read Walking After You this may be a little left-field but basically it takes place in Minas Tirith following the War of the Ring, immediately after Arwen & Aragorn’s wedding.
I will not be posting this to Ao3, so if you want to keep it, reblog and/or bookmark it. You may link to it if you like, but please do not copy and re-post it anywhere.
More author’s notes at the end, after the cut.
(this is absolutely not @gremlinloquacious‘s fault but I’m gonna blame her anyway cos I’m terribly mean like that)
So naturally, I had to Tolkien-ize at least one Christmas song this year. ;P This is effectively a retelling of the same story as Gimli’s Song of Durin from FotR, but I figured that most Christmas music is the same story retold lots of different ways anyway. ;P Binamrâd is the Khuzdul word for “deathless,” and given that it is listed as a noun and not an adjective, I took that to mean that it was a name. Might record later with harmonies if there’s time (I love the chords in this song a lot), but right now I have to run away and do family things. XD Happy holidays, everyone! ❤
because Gimli will be coming home with the Book of Mazarbul. And ofc everyone will finally find out why the Moria colony has been silent, and that they’re dead, all of them. How they died twenty years ago, and nobody knew.
And Dori and Gloin and Dwalin will be mourning, and their families too, and Gimli, who has had time to come to terms with this (well, a bit, in-between fighting for his life/running across Middle-Earth/falling in love with dumb Elves) will hear a small voice pipe up with, “Who’s Oin?”
And oh, the look on Gloin’s face would hurt. Because Gimizh will never know the clever, funny, generous, boisterous, gruff old fellow who taught Gimli how to walk in a mine, how to play a jug, how to dress and clean a wound in the field.
Gimizh will never know the person who inspired his mother to become a healer.
(aaaaand on that note, Balin son of Dwalin will never meet the Dwarf he is named for. ohgod oh ouch)
Aw Yiss 