Also did I mention how much I love height difference ships?
(I think Gloin is not particularly stoked about it when he finds out, but is ultimately told to behave by his wife, who thinks Gimli’s new BF is perfectly reasonable for an elf. Family gatherings are awkward but at least no weapons get drawn at anyone else)
also: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHOOPS, bad move Thranduil! He would completely regret that mistake! AHH HOW DO I MAKE HIM STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS UNCLE GIMLI, OH ELBERETH HELP ME IT NEVER ENDS…
lmao Gimris adds it to the (ever-lengthening) list of things to smack Gimli for, when he finally gets his arse home.
Soo… My hand slipped again? This one is entirely @determamfidd and @scarletjedi fault, what with them creating fanfics too good to be real and dragging me back into gigolas insanity. Consider this a fanart.
I am really proud of how he looks. This is probably my best project up to date.
Awwww Nonnie! I don’t have much, tbh! But here’s some things I thought up on the spot, after trawling a few ‘About Goats!!!’ sites 🙂
The older of the sibs is Pepper. He was born the year before Salt.
Pepper belongs to Gimli – but Salt was a fiftieth nameday present to Gimizh.
Gimris despairs, she really does.
Salt thinks she is a lapdog. This is entirely Gimizh’s fault. He loves her to bits: he gives her treats and spoils her outrageously.
Both Pepper and Salt know their names, and come when called.
Pepper was not thought suitable to be a war-goat at first. He was too mild and biddable, with none of the spirit and adventurousness that is sought after in a war-animal. But then Gimli got into a tight spot of bother with some Dunlendings hiding upon the upper slopes of the White Mountains. No-one had seen a goat go quite so bonkers before. Those particular Dunlendings flinched at the cry of ‘baaa!!!’ for a long, LONG time.
Pepper comes obediently, straight away. Salt… does not. Not unless it is Gimizh calling her – then she comes at once, contrary creature that she is. (It makes Gimris livid.)
Pepper will follow people around placidly, until they congregate in a circle. Then he will shove himself into the centre of the circle – so they can all admire his beauty.
Salt has had one kid: Mustard. Gimizh gifted the little thing to his mother.
(She was extra livid.)
Salt doesn’t come to milking for anyone except Gimizh. If anyone else tries, Salt kicks over the pail, and then chews at her feed with insouciant smugness while they swear loudly.
Much to everyone’s annoyance, Salt gives excellent milk – and the cheese is, without fail, superb.
Pepper has Magnificent Horns, and is vain af. He is the Fabio of the Goat world.
Salt burps. Loudly. Shockingly loudly.
It’s not uncommon for Gimizh to try to feed Salt under the table. Gimli always scolds him if he discovers it: goats may try to eat things, but not everything is good for them.
Pepper has been known to pick up his feet like a trained dancing horse when lots of people are watching him. Like I said, vain. VAIIIIN.
Gimizh has taught Salt a whole bunch of fancy tricks: standing up on her hind feet, dancing, counting, jumping in time to music etc.
Pepper is the most Majestic and the Prettiest. Silver-grey and bearded, with big curling horns. Likes to think he is In Charge.
(Salt is actually prettier, white and soft-coated and sweet-faced, but nobody mentions it in case Pepper overhears)
Once the matter of Galadriel was settled between them, Eomer and Gimli relaxed into a jocular, bantering sort of friendship. With Gimli settling his people in the White Mountains, and Eomer ruling in Edoras, they were often in contact. Visits were a frequent occurrence – most often accompanied by truly staggering amounts of the fruity Rohirric beer.
Eomer never forgot that Gimli had saved his life at Helm’s Deep. When his first child was born, he named the baby ‘Elfwine’ – which translates to ‘Elf-friend’. Gimli was in raptures, and hurried as fast as he could to Edoras to give his congratulations to the parents, and to meet his newest namesake.
He managed to astonish the whole of the Golden Hall, and much of the city, by arriving upon a great shaggy goat. Its huge curling horns were tipped in steel, and it stepped sure-footed and swift upon the steep mountain path.
Eomer was nonplussed. A Dwarf seated upon a goat, as easy and comfortable as any of his Eored in the saddle! “I thought you did not care for riding, Gimli?”
“Don’t get precious. I said I preferred my feet to a horse, and that will remain true so long as Arod stays with Legolas in Ithilien,” said Gimli cheerfully.
He swung down from his goat and gave it a friendly pat on the back. It lipped at his shoulder, before nipping at the hard leather of his jerkin. “Stop that.
This here is Pepper, and he’s a war-ram. Thought he’d be less confronting than the pig.”
“You ride pigs too?”
“Aye, but I didn’t think it’d be fair to ride a battle-boar here.” Gimli grinned. “Wouldn’t do to show up riding somethin’ prettier than you, after all. So, where’s this little bairn with the excellent name?”
Aw Yiss 