Tag: good words

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.

Daniell Koepke  (via theremina)

shacklefunk:

how to radically improve ur experience on tumblr.com:

  • mercilessly block all Fuckers. do not reply to them, do not “justify” blocking them. the goal is to get them out of ur life, not “win” a conflict
  • unfollow anyone who isnt actively improving ur quality of life. u dont owe the people u follow ur attention. if they arent producing content/posts that your benefit from in some way, u dont have to stick around. its not personal.
  • u dont have to care at maximum capacity about everything. ppl like to signal boost and spread awareness and thats great, but its ok to just not have the energy to do that. u dont have to feel guilty about using ur blog for YOUR purposes. thats what its for
  • if u need to, turn anon off. theres no shame in that. it works.
  • if someone is raising a concern with you or reacting critically to something youve said or done, listen to them with empathy rather than getting angry. not everyone is trying to start a fight when they call u out on doing something hurtful, and if u react angrily on a knee-jerk reaction to someone who was just trying to help, ur gonna look like an asshat
  • if u feel like ur about to look like an asshat, its advisable to get up and do something else for a while until youve cooled down and can think rationally. u dont have to reply right away
  •  “tone” is pretty subjective, so try not to fight with people over it
  • u dont have to fight with every motherfucker who says some ignorant or passive aggressive shit on ur posts. just block them. they can be wrong all by themselves.
  • just block them
  • abuse the block function
  • it is there for u to use it

Eventually, you will need to stop curating yourself for public consumption. You will need to stop people pleasing. You will need to stop trying to appear perfect all the time. You will need to be vulnerable. A breakdown will occur. Rock bottom will happen. You will be an anxious, stressed, sad and angry mess of a person, and you will rise. You will wish you had known better. You will wish someone would’ve told you that nobody gets to tell you who the f*ck you are. But you will rise, regardless.

Jamie Varon, Real Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was a Teenage Girl (via sheholdsyoucaptivated)

Stuff kids on tumblr better relearn

jhaernyl:

abessinier:

1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 

2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you – but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.

3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.

4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves – you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine – but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.

5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.

Amen

How do you keep going when someone says something mean about your art, like if it’s worthless or stupid? Or even if they just criticize it? I’m so afraid of criticism because most of the time it just seems like people don’t really want to help you. They just want to put you down.

:

I always think something like, “It’s none of my business.”

This is… kind of hard for me to pull apart because it’s something I’m pretty well bombarded with on a daily basis, and sometimes I’m not as good at dealing with it as I wish I was.

I mean obviously that kind of apathy is tough. Because you do care. You can’t help it. You don’t want to separate yourself from your art. It’s YOUR art. Everyone—especially artists, who put themselves out there in a way that’s immediately subject to the most casual, callous judgement from people who are not experts and not sympathetic to you—everyone cares about what other people think. And it hurts if someone says something cruel or needlessly critical about you or about what you’re doing.

But the fact that people can be so casually judgmental is exactly what makes their reactions none of your business. Because you are not their investment. It’s literally not their work, time, skill, or happiness. They don’t know you from Adam. Everything that you used to make that art—your feelings, your experiences—belongs to you and only you. The only thing haters can do is use themselves as the tool with which they judge.

I care more about my art than anyone ever will. You know? That’s a fact. Haters and critics will never hate what I do as much as I love what I do. They just won’t. They will never be me. They will never know what it’s like to be me. They cannot hate more than I love.

So whatever someone says or does is really, truly none of my business. 

Haters will hate, and people will always use art as something onto which they project themselves—they will always do this. That’s part of the definition of art.

But it’s none of your business. You’re in the business of being yourself for yourself. No one else can touch that.

Practice saying it. “It’s none of my business.”

jaclcfrost:

tbh you can’t live your life never giving yourself recognition for your accomplishments like you can’t continuously discredit yourself and downplay every single thing that you do just b/c someone else out there did more, did it quicker, better, had an easier time doing it, etc. they aren’t you? you’re you. you are going to have an easier time doing certain things, too! you’ll do more. quicker. better. always comparing yourself to others is only ever going to make you miserable, honestly. you did something and you’re in an even slightly better place than you were yesterday? a month ago? a year? good, then. it’s not small. if you want to still call it small, ok, but no matter what it’s still an ACCOMPLISHMENT. acknowledge that. if you don’t start sometime then you never will and you won’t have the motivation to do anything else b/c you’ll be stuck feeling like you’ll never be enough/doing enough which is.. incredibly disheartening and.. you are? you’re working towards something. you’re taking the steps. nothing happens instantly and, again, you have to start somewhere! you’re good. know that.

Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.

Daniell Koepke (via deadlybearhug)

Don’t bring up the past of a person who is trying to improve their future

This is such an important message that is so relevant to me. Please, do not stop people from reaching a good place in life because of things they cannot take back. It is so painful. (via poesy)