“so gimli, how have you and legolas been on your journeys?” “oh, he’s been spending a lot of time on his knees if you know what i mean…. wait why are you all laughing? it’s just because, y’know, he has to get on his knees to be face to face with me….. oh for christ sakes GET YOUR MINDS OUTTA THE GUTTER”

(you just know that by this point, Bofur and Gimris are choking and hyperventilating and rolling with laughter, while Gimli scowls indiscriminately at everything, and Legolas wordlessly and ever-so-slowly turns a very fetching shade of puce)

Whispers of course he would never get one (unless Thorin jokingly gave him one, lol) but if you /had/ to make a Dark Name for Bilbo, what would that name be? Feel free to take this as seriously as you wish ofc. I am totally up for Bilbo being called Sassmaster tbh.

LMAO what’s khuzdul for Sassmaster…? XD

Well, I do like that the Hobbits have their own language… it’s not a secret language like Khuzdul, but they have one! Not that it sees much use, mind.

Bilbo’s name, in the hobbit-tongue, is in fact Bilba Labingi.

(Frodo’s is Maura Labingi, Merry is Kalimac Brandagamba, Sam is

Banazîr Galpsi and Pippin is Razanur Tûk!)

A dark-name for Bilbs, though… arrrrrgh, this is a tricky one. Okay, I think I have something…

ararrakidazbur – The Secret Diamond

This would refer to both Bilbo’s rather unexpected heroism and bravery, his brilliant, blazingly bright mind, and his secretiveness (EXCESSIVE SECRECY HELLO). It could also be seen as a reference to his rather… cutting wit (like a diamond, hee!) and his spirit.

dazbur: containing diamond (shape)* (*diamond (stone))
ararraki: continue to keep secret / to keep secret excessively