LMAO what a thing to return to
I just got a rather awful anon ask from someone who says they have just gone through my blog and that I am ‘deluded and pathetic’ for a) shipping Gigolas, and b) liking the Iron Hills Dwarves, who are all racists and greedy.
As I have already said a hell of a lot about WHY I ship Gigolas (hahaha is 70 pages enough do you suppose) I am not even gonna go there. Ship-shaming is weak and stupid. As to the rest…well, rather than inflicting this negativity and nastiness upon all you nice people, I decided to simply block the troll, and then do something positive instead!
So, here it is –
SIX (ABRIDGED) REASONS WHY I LOVE THE IRON HILLS DWARVES
1. They are a settlement of refugees.
Right well, the Iron Hills have been mined by the Longbeards for centuries, but in actual fact the current settlement in the Iron Hills isn’t all that old. It was established in 2589 by the refugees of the Grey Mountains, who were fleeing a dragon (an ice-worm). They were led by Gror, Thror’s younger brother.
(incidentally, the Dwarves of the Grey Mountains were themselves refugees, having fled to that place after Moria fell. And some significant part of Moria’s population were also refugees from the Broadbeam and Firebeard cities! SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES ALL SMOOSHED TOGETHER, SO MANY TIMES THE DWARVES HAD TO FLEE)
So at the exact same time when Thror went to re-establish Erebor (2589), his little bro was setting up shop (with the majority of the refugees) in the much MUCH poorer Iron Hills.
After Smaug came to Erebor (2770), most of the survivors pour into the Iron Hills. Yes, they take the refugees in. We can only speculate as to why a small number of noble Dwarves wanted to move on to the Blue Mountains (pride, maybe?).
2. They keep going to the aid of others
Not even one generation passes before Thror is calling for them to uproot themselves and come to Khazad-dum (2799). They’re expected to throw their lives away after they’ve found some small measure of stability, all for a dangerous and orc- (and balrog, but nobody knew that at the time) infested place.
They turn the tide of the War of Orcs and Dwarves. No really, they do. They die by the thousands (HALF the Dwarves died in that war!), they lose their leader, Gror’s son Nain, who is slaughtered on the steps of Khazad-dum. His son, the APPALLINGLY young Dain Ironfoot (32 years old) sees it all happen with his own eyes.
The survivors limp back home once again. Maybe this time they’ll get to stay.
Then in 2941 Thorin calls for aid at Erebor via raven, and off they go again.
3. They are not wealthy.
Though the Hills are rich in Iron (and they stand at the natural junction for trade-routes between Rhun and the West), the Iron Hills never became as insanely, ridiculously, fabulously rich as their noble cousins. They’re miners first and foremost, and they seem to just stay out of drama and keep their heads down until some bugger calls them out to die (again).
4. They’re sensible.
In the books, Thorin never petitions the Iron Hills to help him retake Erebor before the Quest. The first they ever hear of it is Thorin’s raven, requesting them to come fight two armies of Elves and Men. Yaaaay.
It’s often not mentioned that the vast VAST majority of all Dwarves – including those in the Blue Mountains – also refuse to accompany Thorin. In fact, it’s strongly suggested that Thorin is making this journey a secret, to avoid alerting the same forces that thwarted his father (who disappeared doing the exact same thing, after all).
But leaving the movie-changes aside, it’s worth looking at this exchange from the LOTR appendices:
When at last the battle was won the Dwarves that were left gathered in Azanulbizar. They took the head of Azog and thrust into its mouth the purse of small money, and then they set it on a stake. But no feast nor song was there that night; for their dead were beyond the count of grief. Barely half of their number, it is said, could still stand or had hope of healing.
None the less in the morning Thrain stood before them. He had one eye blinded beyond cure, and he was halt with a leg-wound; but he said:
‘Good! We have the victory. Khazad-dum is ours!’
But they answered: ‘Durin’s Heir you may be, but even with one eye you should see clearer. We fought this war for vengeance, and vengeance we have taken. But it is not sweet. If this is victory, then our hands are too small to hold it.’
And those who were not of Durin’s Folk said also: ‘Khazad-dum was not our Fathers’ house. What is it to us, unless a hope of treasure? But now, if we must go without the rewards and the weregilds that are owed to us, the sooner we return to our own lands the better pleased we shall be.’
Then Thrain turned to Dain, and said: ‘But surely my own kin will not desert me?’ ‘No,’ said Dain. ‘You are the father of our Folk, and we have bled for you, and will again. But we will not enter Khazad-dum. You will not enter Khazad-dum. Only I have looked through the shadow of the Gate. Beyond the shadow it waits for you still: Durin’s Bane. The world must change and some other power than ours must come before Durin’s Folk walk again in Moria.’
So, it’s worth recalling that in this moment, Dain
- has just lost his father, killed in front of his eyes
- Just slew Azog.
- saw something terrible through the doors of Khazad-dum
- Is speaking to his King. He just shut his KING DOWN.
- IS 32 YEARS OLD. THAT IS YOUNGER THAN I AM NOW. and he has more sense in his little toe than I do in my entire BODY.
5. They would be familiar with the people/s of Rhun
Check out the map. The Iron Hills are about as far East as you can get without being in Rhun already… in fact, they are closer to Rhun than they are to any point in Rhovanion. They’re the logical trade-route for anyone wishing to move between the Eastern nations and the West. I like to think that there is a huge and civil cultural exchange between the Iron Hills Dwarves and the Dwarves of the Orocarni, resulting in a melting-pot of customs and the flourishing of new ideas and music and art and technology.
I mean, the Dwarves of the Iron Hills would have already been a cultural blend of Longbeard, Firebeard and Broadbeam (fyi: Firebeards and Broadbeams both assimilated into Longbeard society in Khazad-dum, after their own cities were destroyed in the War of Wrath) … but only in that one place in all the world could you commonly find Dwarves of all seven clans living and sharing and trading and marrying harmoniously. I like that idea. I like it a lot.
this is also the reason why i cannot ever hc the Iron Hills Dwarves as racist.
6. They RIDE. PIGS.
‘Nuff said.
So thank you, dear nasty haternon.. I am now even more determined to love Iron Hills Dwarves, to love their darling fuzzy faces in spite of your clumsy attempt to get me all riled up 🙂 I am doubly inspired to write about their awesomeness and loyalty and loss in the face of such spite. Perhaps I shall write some more music!
In conclusion, the Iron Hills for Me.
(also also – Gigolas is the ship that literally sails itself into the West, so bleh to you with a cherry on top.)
you know, the absolute best part about dealing with this haternon in this deliberately positive way is that it completely negates their purpose
they set out to make me angry and upset, singling out and targeting two aspects of fandom I care about very deeply
and instead I am getting messages going ‘HELL YEAH!’ and high-fiving me over the Iron Hills and Gigolas, and in general making me very happy
Aw Yiss 