He’s the perfect balance between mine and his mother’s looks. Well, except for those eyebrows. I keep telling him I would get him an eyebrow transplant.
And son, would it really kill you to give your father a call every once and a while? We never talk anymore. (You do realize your girlfriend should really do something about her facial hair, right?)
Father, what do you mean my eyebrows aren’t good enough??? They are almost as majestic as yours!
(And when will you stop deluding yourself that Gimli is a woman, please father, this is getting out of hand)
What is this attitude, young man? I knew I shouldn’t have let you go off to a state university. Clearly it’s a bad influence on you.
And I don’t mean to bring up a sore subject, it’s just obvious that you haven’t been using the eyebrow plumper that I got you at New Years. I am sure that they will finish filling in with time, you just have to do the regiment.
Ah yes, Gimli. So you are really dating then? I know this is a time for exploring who you are, Legolas, and you know I will love you no matter who you are, but I just want to make sure you are making choices you won’t regret later on.
Aw Yiss 