HEADCANONPALOOZA PART 14!!!!
(tbh? I have a feeling that Frerinith isn’t going to care all that much about having an Elf of his own. And that particular one keeps smooshing faces with Gimli, anyway. Gimizh’s Elf is far far easier to boss around.)
I NEED SPICY SOUP COMPETITIONS BETWEEN DAIN AND GENILD YESTERDAY. YESTERDAY.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13
LMAAAAAAOOOO! Gimli patting his hair. “Shhh, there there, lad.”
Somewhere in Valinor Tauriel is laughing herself silly xD
Also Thrandy: easy on the wine pls
– Gimli, to Legolas, book III of The Lord of the Rings, chapter VIII
Things that crack me up about Legolas:
- Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he’s at the very most a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He’s the youngest elf that we know about in that time period. ARWEN is older than him. He’s creeped out by Fangorn being so old but he calls all mortals children because he’s a little shit.
- Tolkien would get super pissed off when Legolas was shown in illustrations as “pretty or lady-like” and insisted that he was the biggest, roughest, toughest of the elves and the most hardcore of the Fellowship. Legolas is like the freaking Schwarzenegger of the elves, nbd.
- Best friend is a dwarf whose father was literally imprisoned by Legolas’ father and yet he still brought him to the Undying Lands for the most awkward family reunion because screw you Thranduil. And let me remind you that a) Gimli is the only, only dwarf who got to make the trip and Legolas invited him. Other people had to get permission from like the literal Valar and Legolas was like I want to bring my mortal bff yeah he wasn’t a ringbearer but whatevs. Also b) most of the people who left in TA 3201 went on like these fleets of beautiful vessels with a master shipbuilder but Legolas was like nope, going to build one myself, never built one before but it can’t be that hard, right?
- While Sindarin is the most common Elvish language by the time Legolas is alive, it’s considered really ugly and and unrefined, but here Legolas is running around probably not even able to speak the language of his ancestors, and I imagine him super proud of what must sound like an awful accent to his people.
- Also super explains how useless he was at Moira trying to decipher the door because he doesn’t have time to deal with those snobs.
- All the Fellowship got useful gifts or ones with spiritual meaning but instead Galadriel was like no, Legolas, I’m going to give you this big ass bow that’s bigger than the Mirkwood ones and it’s going to be so sick yeah it’s like taller than you are BUT ITS GOING TO LOOK SO SWEET.
it will never cease to delight me that in the trilogy, gimli is shown to be charming, with all the polish and grace of a trained diplomat—he trades wits with elrond and speaks so graciously to galadriel that she gives him a gift denied feanor; his extemporaneous description of the glittering caves is what convinces legolas to travel there with him after the war, he sings the song of durin so well that sam begs to learn it.
whereas legolas is this big cheerful lug of a hunter-tracker, incidentally a prince, only unwittingly beautiful and graceful—his speech is decidedly stiff and formal, even when he’s trying to be gentle, but then turns around and starts singing without realizing he’s forgotten half the song. He has strange moments of seriousness, when the ancientness of him shines through, but then—
I do wonder what their first conversations were, gimli dignified but a little chilly; legolas stiff even as he attempted humor, but a way forward nonetheless.
god, I don’t know if there really IS a comparison to be made to human ages here, Nonnie. There is effectively no end to an Elf’s life, if they are not killed or do not become weary of living, and so there’s no real thing as a human equivalent of 30′s, 40′s, middle-aged, old-age, etc.
That said, we do know from Tolkien that most Elves are married at around 100 years of age. So that’s why that line is there.
We also know that some Elves are OOOOLD. But doesn’t mean that they are frail or their life is drawing to a close, like it would for a human? Their bodies simply do not age. So yeah.
As Elves go, Legolas is young-ish. Arwen is older than him. But Tauriel was meant to be only 600? But she’s an Elf that is 600, not a ‘twenty-something’ human, nnngh.
I don’t want to make you feel like I’m totally negative towards the idea, or that I’m being a snob about it. I’m glad you asked me, Nonnie, even though I feel like am not explaining this well! But I find it really hard to think of Elves and immortality and all that jazz being at all similar to the assumptions we make of mortal age brackets.
IDK, I can’t see Legolas (or any Elf, for that matter) having an equivalence to a human age, considering their agelessness. To me there’s just Elves, and older Elves and younger Elves… and the difference is: Young Elves aren’t as tired – or as wise. Older Elves CAN GROW BEARDS (hey Cirdan!) and get weary of unchanging life.
Other people who know Elves better than me might have some notions to put here, and I’d be glad to hear em! But that’s my little understanding of it, Nonnie, I’m sorry if it isn’t helpful *sheepish sort of look, pushes the cookies over*
Laindawar: I AM NOT TICKLISH. AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT.
Laerophen (whispers): try the backs of his knees.
Laindawar: WHAT WHO SAID THAT, WHO SLANDERS ME SO
Laerophen: *innocent look*
Legolas (whispers): and his ribs. Elbereth Gilthoniel, his ribs are the jackpot
Laindawar: LIES! DO NOT PAY ANY HEED TO MY FOOLISH BROTHERS THEY ARE LIARS WHO LIE. ALSO I AM NOT TICKLISH.
Laerophen (whispers): soles of his feet…
Laindawar: shut UP.
What if elves were the short race and dwarves the tall race? Can you imagine a short Legolas and a tall Gimli? Or a short Thranduil? Or a tall Thorin? Because I sure can.
Aw Yiss 