mandalorian-slut:

artemis-the-changeling:

wakeupontheprongssideofthebed:

Coming out as a slave, and imma join the jedi

image

gotta make qui-gonn proud, because i’m way too old

image

it was only a sith, how did it end up like this

image

it was only a sith, it was only a sith

image

now she woke from her sleep

image

and i’m catching a cab

image

but my lead’s up in smoke

image

and she’s taking a stand

image

now mace windu is dead

image

im becoming a sith

image

and a hood’s on my head

image

but she’s clutching her neck, now

image

he takes off his dress, now

image

“we were bros”

image

i just got cooked, it’s killing me

image

i can’t feel my toes…

image

JEAAALOUSY, turned me into a machine

image

killing off all the jedi, choking out those who survive

image

but it’s just the PRICE I PAY, DESTINY IS ALL I SEEK

image

TAKE AWAY THIS REBEL SPYYY

image

‘CAUSE I’M MR. DARK SIDE

image

@letitrainathousandflames if I had to see this, so do You

D E L E T E   T H I S

Cuin Innath – Part One

uweyvi:

Cuin Innath

Alive Heart

Laindawar walked in silence. His long, blonde hair swaying with every movement. His pale, blue eyes scanning the horizon for any change or danger.

Yet, he felt conflicted. A week had passed since the night she had kissed him. What bothered him was she acted like nothing had happened. She embodied silence when it came to it. The one moment they had, had alone she did not speak. Instead she had smiled at him and remained silent.

Was she rejecting him? Was he reading too much into this? He was confused and he needed to figure this out.

His icy, blue gaze moved from the horizon to the tall, Hisildic elf. She was walking beside the cart. Her long, dark auburn hair barely moving as she walked. It had been so thick against his thigh. When it grazed his hand it had been so soft…

He looked at Mui, studying her with an appraising eye. She had such a warm-color to her. He could almost feel the radiance coming off of her. She was vibrant and full of laughter. Quick were her smiles and she loved fiercely. That much was evident with how she protected and tended to Meluiwen.

But why was she avoiding him?! A growl escaping him as he tore his gaze away from her. His eyes hard as his thoughts turned from how she was so alive to how she was avoiding him.

“Youve’ been glaring at her again.” Jeri pointed out as they looked up at Laindawar.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.“ Laindawar growled out. His gaze never wavering from the horizon.

“Yes you do.” Jeri retorted. Their own gaze going over to the elf-woman.

She was looking at Laindawar. Her smile soft and almost nervous as her silver eyes studied his profile. Yet, when she noticed Jeri watching her she smiled at him before looking away.

A exasperated sigh escaped Jeri. They were so avoiding each other. What had happened between them? That was something Jeri would like to know. They had come back disheveled and that had lead to much teasing from theirself.

Then Laindawar walked off towards the horizon and Jeri sighed. Really? Was now the time to just walk off?

“What are you doing?” Jeri called out, their voice clearly showing their exasperation.

“Scouting.”

“The markets in the court are amazing.”  Kara explained. Her dark eyes gleaming as she looked up at the tall elf-maid. Her hands moving about her passionately as she talked. “And the crystalline lights are absolutely beautiful.”

Muil listened to the dwarrowdam politely. Appreciating her zeal on the matter of her home. Kara was so animated when she spoke of her home that it struck a long-buried chord with her. However, when Kara started to trail off about something Muil found herself watching Laindawar. Her eyes widening as he left the group to go, she assumed, scout ahead. Worry filling her stomach when she looked back down at Kara.

The young dwarrowdam had her eyebrow raised and she was giving Muil a look that made Muil feel rather uneasy. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that this young dwarrowdam could see right through her.

It was a very unnerving feeling.

Gulping Muil continued to look down at Kara. Her eyebrows knitting together.  “What is wrong Kara?” Muil asked nervously.

Kara just shook her head. Her black hair swaying around her face as she did so. It wasn’t a hard shake. Just a shake like she was clearing her head.  Then she looked up at Muil again. Curiosity clearly written in her dark eyes.

“What about your home?” Kara finally asked.

“What is there to say about it?” Muil asked in a gentle yet firm tone. “I have not been there in a very long time.”

Seeing the questioning look in Kara’s eyes she looked away. But then she looked down at her hands. Her eyes tracing the intricate tattoos there.

“It became a place where I no longer felt at home at. I had changed to much and the Tinnutaur had changed as well. We are on divergent paths.”

“How so?” Kara asked. Rather curious as how Muil was able to just leave her home and never look back. That was something she could personally never do.

Smiling nervously she continued to avert her eyes. “Our stances on orcs are quite different. Mine differs greatly from the populace and in the end….it was…”

Muil stopped and continued to look at Kara. Her eyes softening as she bit her full, bottom lip. Then she sighed and looked to Meluiwen’s sleeping form.  

Muil finally spoke. Her gaze going back to Kara. “I want to make a world where Meluiwen will not be considered evil because of her race.” Then Muil looked down at her tattoo-covered hands and grimaced.  “Because, unlike your kind….elves are corruptible. And in our corruption we became something else, something…that did not belong.”

Then Muil looked down at Kara and smiled brightly. “ Yet, I have much hope for this world. I know that things have been filled with darkness. I have watched the darkness grow…and done all I could to stop it.”

“How old are you?” Kara blurted out.

Laughter escaped Muil at this. Her grey eyes once again growing in happiness. “I don’t know!”

“But, but…”

“Oh little laintari I am an elf keeping track of years is pointless.” Muil said with a rather unladylike shrug.

Kara narrowed her eyes for a second but then shrugged on her own. At least she got a straight answer from Muil.

As they continued to walk a soft silence carried on between them. It was not uncomfortable but instead it was rather comforting and friendly between Kara and Muil. The other members of the companionship were off doing their things. Jeri was still on point for most of the journey,  Laindawar was off scouting ahead, and Meluiwen was sleeping.

Then shadows appeared on the horizon. First it was a small speck but as they moved towards it it grew bigger and bigger. Soon the shapes could be made out. One was a person and the other was large, wooly creature with two horns.

Moving quickly, before Kara or Jeri could react, Muil was waving at the silhouettes. A bright, winsome smile on her face.

Galu Rhovan!” she called as she waved frantically.

Gi suilon bain!” came an androgynous voice from over the steppe. The person on the horizon arm waving just as wildly in greeting.

Kara looked to Jeri and Jeri looked at Kara confusion clearly written on their faces. Who was this person? Why were they so happy to see each other? Why hadn’t Laindawar seen this person? All of these questions were unanswered.

As Muil brought the cart to a stop she started to laugh. Rhovan was running at her full speed. Their long, braided hair thumping against their back. Once they reached Muil they flung themselves at her. Pulling the taller Muil into a tight hug.

“Gi suilon Muil!” They purred into her ear. A bright giggle escaping the elf that was currently clamped onto Muil. Then she pulled back and grinned at her.

“How have you been gorgeous? Who are these people? Who was that short, surly fellow I snuck around?” Rhovan asked in quick succession.

“ I am fine Rhovan.” Muil answered with a bright smile of her own.  “These are my current traveling companions Jeri, and Kara. The short fellow?….That was probably Laindawar.”

“Definitely Laindawar.” Muil suddenly added as she saw the short elf appear on the horizon.

“If possible his face has turned even sourer?” Rhovan purred. Gently running their hand down Muil’s spine. “Is it odd I find it cute?”

“Not at all.” Muil whispered. Leaning in closer to Rhovan with a chuckle. “Drin no ex.”

Yuvo?” Rhovan asked. Slipping into the predominate language of the steppe known only as Dransta.

ú-Ete ebbrax.” Muil sighed brushing back some of her hair as she watched

Jenvaxtig?”

“Fide!” Muil burst out her cheeks flaming as she looked away from the Rhovan. Jeri and Kara just stared at them. They didn’t quite follow what the two elves were saying.

Making his way back to the group Laindawar stopped cold in his tracks. Who was this person Muil was talking too? What the blazes was going on?

Saying nothing he made his way back to the group and stood near Jeri. Giving Jeri a look that clearly read. ‘You will fill me in on this later’.


Sindarin

Galu – blessings

Gi Suilon Bain – Greetings beautiful

Gi Suilon Muil – Greetings Muil.

Dransta (Produced by Vulgar…go check it out!)

Drin no ex – (literally) He to me; (Derived) I agree.

Yuvo – (literally) Family.

u-Ete ebbrax – No; Up breath ; (Derived) No, but I wish.

Jenvaxtig – (literally) Heat

Fide – (Literally) Behave


Dedicated to @determamfidd. If any characterization is wrong please let me know! Goodness knows I STRUGGLED with this piece. So this, as is all my writing, in constant editing. 

Flailing joyously over my lil bean Kara bein a curious cute patoot!!!!

And omg your WORLD BUILDING ❤❤❤

AHHHHH!

Sansukh Re-read Ch.6

beargirl1393:

Thorin kept his word. He visited the Chamber every day. Bilbo kept on with his life, busily pottering around his little Hobbit-Hole and garden, blithely unconcerned with what his neighbours thought of him. He lent his mithril-shirt to a museum, although Hobbits called it a ‘mathom-house’. From what Thorin could understand, a mathom was something that was meant to gather dust; interesting, but impractical. A mithril-shirt, impractical! He shook his head at the ridiculousness of it. Truly, Hobbits were preposterous little creatures!

I’m with Thorin on this one. Even if there hasn’t been war in the Shire in centuries, it’s still a good idea to hold onto something like that in case there’s another quest.

His parents Kifur and Bomrís and his uncle Bomfur (the father to Bofur and Bombur) were greeting him, and Thorin wondered how that worked. Did Mahal let you know in some way? Or had they discovered it as Thorin had, peering through the waters of Gimlîn-zâram?

You’ll find out before too long, Thorin.

“Allow him some space,” he said sternly. It had been ten years, but he still recalled how disoriented and overwhelmed he had been. “He has just met our Maker and his parents, and will be—”

“Zabadâl belkul!” cried a joyous voice, and Thorin was rudely interrupted by a heavy, entirely naked body slamming into him and bowling him over. “Zabadâl belkul, melhekhel!”

“Bifur!” Thorin managed, spitting out white-and-black streaked hair. “Bifur, calm down!”

“Zûr zu?” Bifur grabbed Thorin’s shoulders and smashed their heads together. Thorin reeled, stars sparking before his eyes.

“Ach! Stop, wait-”

“Abbad, abbad, sakhab!” Bifur crowed, and then patted at Thorin’s face. “Ah, melhekhel, Thorin-zabad. Sakhab at you, I never thought I’d see you again, and so unchanged. Why, you could skin me wi’ that glare! Does a body good to see it.”

Thorin stopped struggling and stared at him, dumbfounded. “Bifur… you’re speaking Westron.”

“Am I?” Bifur blinked, and then he smiled. There was a faint red scar where once there had been a huge stomach-churning dent in his skull, and he seemed far more lucid than Thorin could remember him ever being – if still rather odd. “Oh. So I am.”

I know some of the reunions are heartbreaking, but Bifur’s is hilarious. Bifur is one of my favorite canonical dwarves, and I always wondered what he’d be like if I could understand what he says in Dwarvish, and this take on his personality fits pretty well with what I’d thought he’d be like, but better.

“And you’re naked,” Fíli added.

“On top of Thorin,” Kíli sniggered.

Bifur beamed at them, pushing away from Thorin and exclaiming, “Lads! Fíli, Kíli, shamukh ra ghelekhur aimâ, how wonderful it is to see you!”

“Good to see you too,” Kíli told him, pulling him to his feet.

“Be even better if we hadn’t seen so much of you,” Fíli mumbled. Bifur simply laughed and tugged the boys into a hug, throwing his arms around their necks and holding on tightly.

Thorin pushed himself up and rubbed his forehead. “Well, it seems you slip back into Khuzdul every now and then,” he said to himself, before smiling at the faces of his nephews as they tried to extricate themselves from Bifur’s ebullience. Raising his voice he said, “Perhaps we should find you some clothes…”

“No perhaps about it,” Kíli wheezed.

Bifur jerked away suddenly to stare at his hands with a perplexed expression. His eyes were completely focused for the first time in ten years. “Oh, yes.” Then he raised his eyebrows and looked down at himself with apparent surprise. “Aye, all right. Although I could get used to this, you know. Rather… freeing. You should try it.”

“My eyes,” moaned Fíli.

“My brain,” whimpered Kíli.

I love everything about this, I can’t deny it. Bifur streaking around the halls, hugging Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli while he’s stark naked, Fíli’s reaction to Bifur wanting to stay naked…just everything about this is hilarious and makes my day whenever I read it.

Abruptly Bifur tensed, his head jerking up and his eyes widening. “Wait, ‘ikhuzh! ‘Amad, ‘adad, uncle Bomfur… where are they?”

“Behind you, Bifur,” said an amused voice. “The Maker recreated your birthmark, I see.”

Another dwarrowdam I like? Bomrís. I relate to her a lot, and I like her little humorous comment here. Orla, Hrera, and Frís are ahead of her on the list, but I like Bomrís too.

“Aye, we eat,” Thorin said, trying and failing to repress a smile. “There’s food, and plenty of it.”

“Oh.” Bifur frowned for a moment, and then he brightened. “Are there flowers?”

I love that Bifur still likes flowers, and presumably vegetables, now that he’s in the Halls.

The door flew open, and Dwalin stormed in, followed by Óin. “You idiot!” he thundered.

“That’s our King,” Óin muttered.

“You idiot, your Majesty,” snarled Dwalin, teeth snapping around the words.

It’s not Dáin’s fault, he did what he had to do to keep the peace and make sure Erebor’s relationship with the Dalemen was good, but still this is hilarious.

“You’re a damned fool,” said Dwalin bluntly.

Dáin laughed his raspy laugh. “Aye, probably. But practical.”

Dáin is a better king than 90% of the fandom gives him credit for being. He’s practical, he knows how to lead. Yes, being Lord of the Iron Hills isn’t the same as being King of Erebor, but he ruled for over a hundred years there, and there was peace and prosperity. Now that he’s king of Erebor, he’s bringing the same thing there, it’ll just take those closest to Thorin time to see it.

Hrera looked politely incredulous. “He must be touched in the head. That one has had too much sun.”

“He’s a fine young Dwarrow,” Thorin said, and then he wondered why he felt the need to defend him. Surely he hadn’t become so fond of the lad?

“Fine young Dwarrow or not, he’s going to get sunburnt,” she predicted.

She was not wrong. Gimli was reddened and peeling by the time he made it back down from the summit, and Hrera tutted over the state of his braids. “Terrible,” she said disapprovingly. “Look at that! Has the boy never used hair oils in his life?”

“Probably not,” Thorin said. “He dislikes primping and frippery, as he calls it.”

I have a feeling that, when Gimli finally passes into the Halls, the first thing Hrera will do when she meets him will be to sit him down and work on his hair while lecturing him on it’s importance.

“I suppose that makes you King, then!” one laughed. Gimli rolled his eyes and waved that away.

“No fear! I would have to be blind drunk to want to be King. Have you seen Dáin lately? He looks like granite pounded by giants!

Gimli’s not an idiot, he knows that he wouldn’t want the responsibility that comes from being king, at least not this early on.

“What’s this my dainty ears do hear?” said Nori, clumping towards them with a tray of tankards and a creased grin. “Our Gimli versus the Stonehelm? Now that I’d pay to see.”

“No you wouldn’t!” cried a Dwarf. “You’d be running the books, you old crook!”

“Aye, we’d be paying you!”

Nori winked. “Pack of lies it is, my dears, and I’m ashamed to know you.”

See Nori in his natural element, running the books for various bets and making a tidy profit off of them.

“Well then, I’d give you two to three odds on Gimli versus the Stonehelm, but in the third match, I’m afraid, it’s gonna have t’ drop to one outta nine.”

“And why, may I ask?” Gimli said indignantly. “I’m the finest axeman of my age in the whole of Erebor!”

“Indeed you are, my little Lord,” said Nori slyly, “but in the third match you’d be fightin’ Dwalin son of Fundin, an’ I don’t much fancy yer chances.”

A groan rose from around the table, and Gimli shook his head. “Alas!” he laughed. “Well, I’d have to bet against myself – and you’ve already done so well out of me too, you old villain.”

“Knew you’d beat Lóni,” Nori said in satisfaction. “All right, boys, pay up.”

With some grumbling, the assembled drinkers handed Nori a few coins. “Thanking you kindly,” he said, grinning broadly. Biting hard on one, he nodded and then slipped them into a pocket. Sitting himself down at the table, he eased his metal leg out in front of him and a knife abruptly appeared in his hands. He absently spun it around his fingers as he raised his braided eyebrows, now liberally streaked with grey. “Well, my brave lads? Not taking me up on my very generous odds?”

Gimli took another sip of his ale and licked the foam from his moustache. “Me, fight Dwalin? You’ve got to be joking. He taught me most of what I know. I’d be warg-food before the day was out.”

“You’d be warg-food before the minute was out,” said a Dwarf, and Gimli puffed out his chest in indignation.

“I’ll have you know I’d last at least twenty.” He suddenly grinned. “Seconds.”

Again, Nori would do so well running the books for these fights, it wouldn’t be funny. I wonder if he ever arranges things like that in the afterlife, pitting together two dwarven heroes and having everyone bet on which one would be the victor.

“Oh, I see,” she said, and looked back to where the thief was amusing the lads with knife tricks. “He lost that leg at the Battle, then?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, my dear.” She patted his cheek comfortingly and sighed. “Oh, you stone-faced Durin men. If you would only say!”

I love Hrera. And I also sympathize with her, since apparently getting Durins to open up is like wringing water from a stone. I can be done with a lot of time, effort, and patience, but no one could say that it’s easy.

“Here now, what’s this about your brother, Nori?” called one of the youngsters, and the call was echoed by several around the table.

Nori rolled his eyes dramatically. “Do you mean the mother-hen or the scribbler?”

Now, I wonder which brother is which? Nori’s nicknames for them are so subtle it’s hard to tell. I love his reaction though, it’s like ‘oh for Mahal’s sake, can’t I go five minutes without someone asking after my brothers?’.

A little sigh echoed around the table, and Thorin shook his head at their longing expressions. His weaver companion was the epitome of Dwarven male beauty, after all, with his silvery hair, classic Stiffbeard nose, thick legs and stout frame. Unfortunately for his many admirers, he was one of the many Dwarrows whose heart was given to their craft. Dori loved his weaving, his brothers, his wines and his tea, and had as much interest in romance as he had in cross-country skiing. Furthermore, he had a punch like a charging oliphaunt.

I relate to this version of Dori a lot, if I’m honest. I feel the same way he does about romance and sex, I just don’t have the muscle that he does, or family that accepts it like he does. I also love how Nori makes a bit of profit off of the dwarf who’s sighing over Dori, it’s just so Nori.

“You idiots really need to find a new obsession,” snorted Thorin – and Gimli chuckled under his breath.

“Tell him, and we’ll have Ori, my father and uncle, my cousins, Bofur and probably even Bombur down here to glare at you and cheer Dori on,” he said, his eyes dancing with mirth. “I’d like to place a wager, if I may?”

Nori winked at him. “Better believe it, little star. The Company sticks together.”

“The Company are weird,” said a youngster after a pause.

“That too!” Nori laughed.

I can’t deny any of that. The Company stick together, and they’re also weird. It’s why they work so well together, they’re accepting of each other’s quirks.

“Disgraceful,” Hrera said absently. “I’ll wager you a silver clasp for one of your daggers, Thorin dear? On Gimli to win, of course.”

Another reason to love Hrera. Prim, proper, elegant, and willing to make wagers with her grandson on fights.

“Older than Thorin now.” He shook his head. “Ach, Mahal’s mighty balls, don’t get sentimental,” Dwalin growled to himself. “Orla’d tan yer hide if she saw you whining about yer good fortune.”

Aw, Dwalin’s already getting a bit sentimental towards Orla, he already cares what she thinks of him.

Dáin straightened on the throne, his manner stern. “We shall have no more Azanulbizars,” he said, and Thrór let out a gusty sigh of relief. “Balin, we need your wisdom here. You can’t leave me alone to deal with Thranduil and Glóin both.”

As good of a point as that is, Dáin, it doesn’t work to convince Balin. I wonder if it would have worked if Balin knew that, in the future, both Thranduil and Gloin would be in the mountain at the same time for an extended length of time?

“I risked my life for my King. I risked my life because he called,” Balin said, drawing himself up and speaking with quiet authority. “Now – now I understand why he wished for this, why he had no other choice. It is a horror than cannot be tolerated, and a shame upon us all.”

Dáin sighed. “I am not that King.”

Thorin’s hand tensed on Thrór’s arm. “I did not have the chance to be your King, Balin,” he muttered. “I was a warrior first; a soldier who led his people in exile. Statecraft, politics, treaties, compromise, diplomacy – I never practised any of these. Dáin knows more of Kingship than I ever did. Listen to him, not to the memory of my vain pride! Moria is a glittering trap, a fool’s hope. Do not do this!”

Balin, don’t be a fool. Listen to Dáin, he knows what he’s talking about. Yes, he’s not the king you followed, Thorin is, but hasn’t Dáin done well so far? Erebor has grown from the wreck it was post battle, relations with the other nearby kingdoms are going well…going after Moria now, so soon after the last battle, is a bad idea.

BIFURUHHHHHHH ❤

*Smooches you a lot and also clings to your leg like a happy 3yo* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUUU

Sansukh Re-read Ch.5

beargirl1393:

“We are going home!” she cried in her ringing voice of diamond and mithril, and a mighty cheer rose up from every throat. Turning, Dís began to walk away from the worked-out mines and the crumbling halls of Belegost that had sheltered them in their poverty, and raised her face to the East. She did not look back. Wagons rumbled along in her wake as she began to march.

As much as I love Dain, can we take a minute to appreciate the awesomeness of Queen Dís, if she had taken the throne? It makes sense why she wouldn’t want to, that throne had cost the lives of her sons and brother, but it’s something I thought of after I finished reading The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings the first time. King Dain is just as awesome, though.

His reunion with Mizim, Gimrís and Gimli upon his arrival at Ered Luin had been nothing short of spectacular. Glóin had wrapped himself around his wife and held onto her tightly, burying his face in her pale hair. She put her hands either side of his head and drew it back, tracing the old scar over his brow with her thumb before kissing him deeply and gently. “Hello, you old bear,” she said softly, her hands slipping into his mane of wild red hair. “You’re late.”

“Jewel,” he said, and his eyes misted over. “More lovely than ever you are, Mizim, crown of my life, light of my heart.”

I wonder when Mizim started calling Glóin a bear. His nickname for her makes sense, since her name means jewel, but I wonder if it’s just something that she came up with randomly and liked, or if there’s a funny story behind the nickname. But also this, the two fo them reuniting? Adorable!

He took her hands and kissed them one after the other before turning to his children – and his mouth slowly formed the shape of an ‘O’.

Thorin privately thought his expression was hilarious. Frerin, of course, didn’t keep such things private. His brother keeled over backwards, laughing his head off.

I’m with Frerin. I probably wouldn’t have fallen over, but I’d have definitely been laughing.

Glóin had gawked for a moment longer before Gimrís was hurling herself at her ‘adad and Gimli was doing likewise, and Glóin was buried beneath the bodies of two mostly-grown Dwarves and groaning.

“Oof! You are too heavy for me now, off with you!” he wheezed, and Thorin chuckled at the sight of the bristly and imposing old warrior spluttering and choking for breath.

Glóin survived trolls, goblins, orcs, spiders, stone giants, and elves, but it’s his kids that knock the breath out of him. I can’t help it, I laugh every time I read that.

Bombur’s reunion with his family had been far louder. Alrís didn’t even have a chance to greet her husband before a veritable horde of Dwarflings swarmed Bombur and Bofur, shouting at the top of their lungs. Bombur’s children buried themselves against his warm and hefty body, snuggling close, investigated his walking staff with curious and grubby fingers, pulled at ‘Uncle Bofur’s’ hat and begged for a song and a sweet and a story. Bombur tried to kiss and tickle all of them at once, his seldom-heard booming laugh ringing out over the din. The oldest of the tribe patiently pulled the smaller ones away, and finally Alrís was able to give her husband a smacking kiss and show him the new baby, now two years old – a boy she had named Albur. He was a chubby, chuckling little thing with brown hair and eyes that danced like sunlight on water. Bombur gave the little one a whiskery buss on the top of the head, and then wrapped one arm around Alrís again and pulled her against him for another ringing kiss.

Everything about Bombur’s reunion with his family. Like, if I had to pick a family from Sansukh to visit, it would either be Orla and Dwalin’s or Bombur and Alrís’. Bombur’s love for his family is something I love about this interpretation of him (one of many things, really).

“What have you done to your leg?” she said breathlessly.

He shrugged. “Got poisoned. Don’t recommend it.”

“Poisoned, Daddy?” gasped one of his middle children, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Don’t get too close to orcs,” Bofur said succinctly, and a chorus of ‘ooooh’s rose from the crowd of children.

“Hospital food,” Bombur said in disgust, and Alrís threw her head back and laughed and laughed.

Only Bombur could play off the fact that he got poisoned by talking about how horrible hospital food is. Another reason to love Bombur.

“That’s an Elf?” Gimli said, wrinkling his nose. “And here I thought they were supposed to be fair and glorious! Hmmph. They’re all stretched and faded.”

Bofur chuckled. “Don’t be fooled. They might look like skinny, insipid twigs, but they’re stronger than they appear and their eyesight is much better than ours in daylight. An Elf will put an arrow through your eye as soon as look at you.”

“No beards at all,” Gimli muttered under his breath, and shuddered.

But no, if Bofur remembers this and brings it up at some point to Legolas, I can see the both of them laughing about it and teasing Gimli who’s all embarrassed because he was just a kid then and it was the first time he’d seen elves.

“Is that a Hobbit?” whispered Gimrís to her brother.

“Again, no beard!” Gimli said, and shook his head in sympathy.

I love Gimli. ‘Elf? No beard, not fair and glorious at all’, ‘Hobbit? No beard at all, poor thing’.

“You should hear the ruckus down at the Green Dragon,” Bilbo was saying. “Poor old Odo is convinced it’s an invasion and has the whole pub in an uproar. Half of Brandy Hall – that’s the Brandybucks, by the way – want to come out and see for themselves. The other half want to sound the Horn-call of Buckland. The Bracegirdles are wringing their hands and fainting, the Grubbs are calling it none of our business, the Boffins are trying to organise a welcoming party, and the Tooks are giggling up their sleeves and egging everyone on indiscriminately.”

“And the Bagginses?” said Bombur, smiling.

Bilbo laughed gaily. “Are pretending they’ve never even heard of Dwarves, or dragons, or adventures, or rich mad cousins. Whenever someone brings it up they begin talking loudly about the weather or about pie-eating contests or Farmer Maggott’s dogs or some such. It’s terrifically funny.”

I love how the various groups of hobbits are reacting, especially the Tooks. And the fact that Bombur remembers enough about Bilbo’s family to know that his family would be the funniest group of the lot is amusing too.

“Here, Bilbo,” Bombur said into the ensuing silence. “You should meet my family! That’s Barís, my eldest, and over there’s Bomfur, Bolrur, and Bofrur, my terrible little trio of redheads, and the two big dark-haired lads there are Barum and Barur; then there’s Alfur and Alrur and Alfrís and Bomfrís tormenting that poor pony. Barum, stop that lot, would you, before the pony dies of nerves? And over there is my lovely wife Alrís, and our two littlest ones, Bibur and Albur.”

Alrís sketched a bow, her arms filled with squirming child. “At your service,” she called cheerfully.

Thorin was a little dizzy after all those names.

Bilbo seemed to have no trouble with such a crowd, and bowed to Alrís, smiling. “At yours and your family’s – although I may be a little pressed to accommodate so many. Good gracious me, Bombur! I’d think you were part-Hobbit!”

Changing the subject like a boss. Take notes, Bilbo. And Bilbo thinks the same thing I do, that Bombur and Alrís are part hobbit. Alrís being able to bow while still holding onto two squirming kids is cool, though. I love Thorin’s reaction to all of the names, though. I had the same reaction at first, I had to re-read that paragraph to make sure I’d gotten all of the names right.

Bilbo perked up. “Yes, yes, quite right! I brought a few little things for us to share, though now I hope they’ll stretch far enough…”

“We’ve seen how Hobbits eat,” said Glóin dryly. “I’m fairly sure we’ll do fine, laddie.”

“And just think, Bilbo! No washing up!” Bofur nudged him. Thorin wished everyone would stop touching the Hobbit.

Bilbo rolled his eyes theatrically. “Thank heavens!”

Now I’m imaginging ‘Blunt the Knives’ only with dwarflings as well as four adult dwarves and dwarrowdams.

“Here now! First you have to meet my set,” said Glóin. “This is my lad Gimli, and my lass Gimrís. Over there tying down the cart is my darlin’ Mizim. Mizim, come here! Come meet our Burglar!”

“I’m a little busy, you daft old bugger,” she snapped, “in case you haven’t noticed!”

Glóin gave them a sheepish grin. “She’s the jewel o’ my life, she is.”

Have I mentioned how much I love Glóin and Mizim’s relationship? Because I do, so much.

“Doesn’t your face get cold?”

Bilbo burst into giggles.

Glóin tugged at his own beard to hide a smile. “Ah, Gimli m’boy, Hobbits don’t grow beards.”

“Oh, some do, but only those of Stoor families,” Bilbo said, still giggling. “Even then, it’s nothing for a Dwarf to boast of. I remember catching you all staring at me for the first couple of weeks when you thought I wasn’t watching. And for the record, not one of you is any good at being sneaky – well, except Nori, but the rest of you were not exactly subtle about it. Was it my poor naked chin, then?”

“That and your riding, laddie,” Glóin said, and then snorted at the Hobbit’s expression of half-amusement, half-exasperation.

“Were we that rude?” said Bofur, grinning.

“You barged into my house, pillaged my pantry, drafted me into an adventure and sang an extremely insulting song,” Bilbo said, poking Bofur in the side. “Staring was the politest thing any of you did!”

“Ah, my apologies?” mumbled Gimli, scratching at his head.

Poor Gimli, he’s so confused. Just let them bicker, they’ll sort themselves out and it’s a bit amusing to watch too.

“Here.” He pushed a bundle of papers into Bombur’s hands. “All my mother’s recipes. She was a Took, you know, and collected recipes from all over the Shire, all the way as far east as Midgewater.”

Bombur looked down with wide eyes at the crushed bundle and then pressed it protectively against his chest. “Bilbo!” he said, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Perfect gift for Bombur. He’s already been working on hobbit style recipes, now he’s got recipes to do even more of them. If he wasn’t already king of the marketplace, this would seal it.

He handed Bofur a strange configuration of sheepskin and dyed leather, with neat little stitches in the Shire-fashion around the edges. “It’s your hat, do you see,” Bilbo said, anxiously wringing his hands. “I bought the skins from the Proudfeet, and I had it copied by Bell Gamgee. Yours was such a wreck, after all, and I thought you might like to have a new one. I do hope I haven’t upset you?”

Bofur slowly opened up the folded brim of the new hat, dyed a handsome red-brown, and suddenly smiled. He pulled it onto his head, lifting his chin and tugging at the flaps. “What do you think, lads?”

“Oh, thank Mahal, I was going to burn the old one in his sleep,” said Bombur with relief.

Again, I love Bombur. Him, Dori, and Bifur are my favorite canonical dwarves.

Thorin growled under his breath. Would nobody stop touching the Hobbit?

Thorin, your married is showing.

“Glóin, this is for you.” Bilbo handed him a polished wooden box, its lid and sides carved with leaves and grapes. Glóin admired the carving for a moment, and Bilbo huffed. “Well, woodworking is probably the only Hobbit craft that you fellows might appreciate. Still, it’s not empty. Open it.”

Glóin cracked it open, and Gimli peered over his father’s shoulder to look inside. “Pipe-weed?”

“Not just any pipe-weed, my dear Dwarf. That is Longbottom Leaf. It’s the year of ’32 – a very good year indeed!”

“My dear Hobbit!” Glóin said, and eyed the box with new appreciation. “I am deeply in your debt!”

Bilbo knows what Glóin likes.

“Now,” Bilbo said, straightening his coat, “the inks are for Ori, and the bottles are delicate, so be careful! These herbs are for Óin. So are these notes. I translated a couple of healing texts from the Elvish – and it was a lot of work, so don’t you dare throw them away! Ah, this is for Dori. It’s an embroidery pattern-book from my Aunt Hildigard, and some of those patterns are old enough to impress even Dori, I dare say. I hope he can get some use out of it.”

Bofur opened the little book and smiled down at the curling designs with their friendly motifs of flowers, leaves and vegetables. “Who knows? Perhaps Hobbit stitching will become the new exotic fashion. You could start a trend!”

“I fervently hope my trend-setting days are done, thank you very much,” said Bilbo dryly.

I love how Bilbo knows well enough to tell them to not throw away the notes just because they came from Elvish healing texts. He knows them all so well. And Dori and Ori’s presents are perfect for them both. Granted, dwarves seem to favor geometric shapes and designs, but hobbit stitching would be exotic and a new challenge for Dori to master.

“Now, this is for Nori, from one Burglar to another.”

Bombur’s forehead creased as he took in the candlesticks, the cheese-knife and the little silver gravy-boat. “What’s this?”

Bilbo rubbed a hand through his hair and smiled a trifle wickedly. “I discovered after I got back that it wasn’t only my frightful relatives who were a little too free with my belongings. A certain light-fingered chap had made off with a few small things on the night of the party. I thought he might like the rest of the set, with my compliments.”

Nori’s going to be so irritable! But he’ll also be a bit proud, probably. Bilbo learned his lessons well, he knew when Nori stole versus when Lobelia did.

“Did he faint?” asked Bombur, leaning forward eagerly.

A wheezing little sound of glee came from under Bofur’s hat.

Bilbo paused, and then he sighed. “Yes.”

This is one of my favorite bits in this chapter. Conkers is a bit higher on the list, but this? Especially Bilbo’s little ‘nope’ and them all laughing again? I laugh every time I read it.

“An’ being Hobbit and all, it’d seem pretty special and out of the ordinary,” Bofur said, smoothing down his ruffled moustache. “Wonder if we could make a model Bag End?”

“Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no! If I have an entire generation of Dwarves trooping through my house, I will hunt you down and sting the pair of you!” Bilbo said sternly.

Bombur closed his mouth with a snap, but Bofur looked entirely too innocent to be believed.

Bifur’s going to love his toy, but I wouldn’t trust Bofur’s innocent look. That’s probably the same look that he had when he told Dwalin that he wouldn’t make a Dwalin warrior toy.

“Traditional Hobbit weaponry,” Bilbo said, a gleam in his eye. “I in particular have some skill at it. If you must know.”

“No,” said Bofur in disbelief.

“Not…?” said Glóin.

“Conkers?” Thorin said, utterly incredulous.

Traditional hobbit weaponry at it’s finest. Although I always wondered why, in canon, Bilbo never told the dwarves how good at throwing and aiming hobbits are. They would’ve taught him to use a bow, probably, he might have taken to it faster than he took to the sword…again, I need to stop before I give myself more ideas.

Bilbo leaned back, sighing with satisfaction and slapping his knees. “And that’s the game to me!”

“Are all Hobbits so good at throwing and aiming at things?” Bofur said, staring dismally at his halved horse-chestnut. He hadn’t won a single round.

Bilbo shrugged. “Bit of a hobby, really.”

Poor Bofur, you’ll get better with practice. Gimrís seems pretty good at the game, maybe she’ll help you out.

Many of the other Dwarves sent curious glances over to the Hobbit and his odd little game, his bare face and furry feet. Thorin bristled at their interest and barely restrained himself from barking at them to show their Burglar the proper respect.

Thorin, your married is showing again.

“Dís, daughter of Frís, I make known to you Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. He’s a Hobbit,” he added unnecessarily.

“I can see that, akhûnîth,” she said, her mithril-pure voice lilting with amusement, though her face barely moved. “Dís. At your service.”

Bilbo pulled himself upright and tried to look as dignified as a Hobbit can whilst holding a horse-chestnut painted bright yellow. “At yours and your family’s.”

Dís smiled at that, rather sadly. “You already have been.”

There was an awful silence, and then Bilbo burst out, “You look so much like him.”

She froze, and then she dropped her eyes.

This always kills me. If Thorin had lived, this meeting probably would have been a lot happier. As it is, Dís is meeting the little creature who left his comfortable home to help dwarves that he had never met before that night. It’d be worse if she knew how much Bilbo had loved Thorin, but I don’t think she knew that yet. But just…this whole bit right here is so sad and full of feels.

The young Dwarf shifted his weight between his feet for a moment, looking uncertain. Then he said, “Mister Baggins was showing us a Hobbit game, Aunt Dís.”

All heads turned to him, and he flushed as red as his hair, before ploughing on bravely. “It’s a mite tricky to get the hang of it, but I was starting to see how it was done. D’you want to try it?”

Bilbo can take notes from Gimli about how to change the subject, but Gimli needs to take notes from Bombur.

“Here,” said Glóin and handed Dís the red horse-chestnut, his hands gentle as he gave up his place. “Sit down, cousin. I’m going to see if I can find Bombur a chair.”

“Oh, don’t bother on my account!” Bombur protested, but tucked by his side, young Barís nodded vigorously. Bombur grunted and poked his daughter in the shoulder, and she wrinkled her nose.

“Your leg’s going to get all cramped sitting like that, Dad. Best to stretch it out.”

I love Barís. She’s not my favorite OC (that’s undoubtedly Orla), but she’s lovely, an amazing singer, apparently a good daughter and big sister, and she seems pretty witty too. There’s a lot to love about all of the OCs in this.

“Aunt Dís?” Gimli said softly, and she hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside her young cousin and patting his knee.

“Don’t fret about me, young one,” she said. “Time for your sister to watch her back.”

Where’s Nori when you need him? My money’s on Dís winning this round.

“Yes, well,” Bilbo sighed, straightening slightly and resting his head against his hand. “I should really trade in that ‘lucky number’ title of mine, shouldn’t I? I had all the luck in the world, but it wasn’t enough.”

“Never is,” Bofur said in a voice that was nearly a whisper.

“You won’t need luck, I swear it,” Thorin vowed fiercely. “Mahal be my witness! You won’t need luck. You’ve got me.”

Thorin is 100x better than luck, apparently, because with his help, things end up mostly okay for Bilbo.

lkjshgdlakhsdgfljadsghfaljh

All the love, floating across the seas from me to you

AHH MORE GLOIN AND BOMBUR LOVE, more appreciation for my two most unappreciated faves ❤ you give me wiiiiings!

Sansukh Re-read Ch.3

beargirl1393:

The days passed slowly. Two Dwarves who had died during the Battle of Five Armies (as they were now calling it) bowed to Thorin upon meeting him, and at least another six punched him square in the face. His grandfather patted his shoulder consolingly.

“You should have seen this place after Azanulbizar,” was all he said.

Can’t blame either group of dwarves, really.

In Erebor, there was a funeral. Thorin watched as they laid the Arkenstone on his cold, dead breast, wrapped his parchment-white and stiffened fingers around the hilt of Orcrist, and sealed his body and those of his nephews in the tomb.

Bilbo cried bitterly the whole time.

As the white stone passed over Fíli’s rent and rigid corpse, Thorin covered his mouth with his hands, pressing them so fiercely against his bloodless lips that he could feel the shape of his teeth beneath. With a savage curse he closed his eyes and fled that sight.

I feel bad for Thorin during this, for many reasons. One of them, though, is because it must be extremely weird, watching your own funeral. And, of course, he blames himself for Fíli and Kíli’s deaths and so watching their funerals was almost impossible for him. No wonder he goes to see Gimli next.

Work was proceeding apace on the Mountain. Everywhere he looked Thorin could see the devastation caused by the dragon and the echoes of his folly. Even as the Kingdom slowly began to rise from mourning, Thorin could barely look at his living companions without seeing the light of the gold-sickness that had once danced in their eyes. No-one had been as thoroughly lost as Thorin himself, of course, but he had dragged them all behind him into his madness nevertheless.

To see the guilt and grief in their faces made his own grow until it felt like a stone chained around his neck.

Thorin’s guilt issues, let me show them to you. With how much he’s blaming himself here, is it any wonder that it takes him decades to finally start accepting that not everything that goes wrong is his fault?

Ori was out of his sickbed as soon as Óin gave him permission, though a racking cough continued to plague him. He immediately began to help Nori with relearning to walk. The former thief was sullen as he clattered about their rooms. With each of his arms looped over the shoulders of his brothers, he winced and cursed with every rattling step until finally he roared with anger and resentment. Ori stood his ground, all his shyness and uncertainty burned away in the fires of battle. He faced his brother’s rage calmly until Nori had exhausted himself, and then helped him back to his chair. Dori made pot of tea after pot of tea, lips white and stiff, before carefully plaiting the drained and silent Nori’s red-brown hair back into its elaborate braids. Then the Brothers Ri held onto Nori’s hands tightly until he felt able to cry.

The brothers Ri are some of of my favorite dwarves in the company (only Bifur beats them out) and this paragraph illustrates why I love them so much. Nori is stubborn, trying to get back to normal as soon as possible and not really dealing with his feelings about the injury, nearly in denial, really. Then, he moves onto the anger stage, ranting at Ori and Ori just takes it, lets his brother get it all out because he knows it’s what Nori needs. Dori is there in the background, making tea and taking care of Nori’s hair, and then he and Ori are there for Nori when he finally accepts it and mourns his loss. No matter what, they’re there for each other, and I love that about them.

“Hobbit,” said Dwalin, and cleared his throat loudly. “Not sure if anyone’s said this t’ you at all.” Then he bowed before the astonished Hobbit and said, with all sincerity;

“Thank you.”

“Aye.” – “Thank you, laddie.” – “We can never thank you enough.” The rest of the company also bowed low. Bilbo looked upset and flustered.

“No, you mustn’t,” he said, and he wrung his little hands. “No, please, my friends…”

Balin rose and winked at Bilbo. “Khazâd-bâhel.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Bilbo snapped, and mopped at his eyes with one of his new handkerchiefs. “Dwarves! Overdramatic, the lot of you! Oh, I am going to miss you all dreadfully.”

Goodbyes are always hard. This is both tear-jerking and a bit amusing, with Bilbo trying to call the dwarves dreadful and overdramatic and everything else, but unable to hide that he’s going to miss them so much. He didn’t expect this when he set out on his adventure, he didn’t know what to expect really, and now he’s leaving and he’ll miss his friends. (And Thorin.)

“I’ll be through in a year or two,” Glóin promised. “I’ll be travelling back to Ered Luin to collect my family. Bombur too. We’ll stop by. Don’t forget!”

With a leg-up from Dori, Bilbo crawled astride his pony. “I’ll lock up my dishes specially,” he laughed. “Farewell, my friends! Write as often as you can!”

Oh, Bilbo, don’t you want to see dwarves tossing your dishes around your kitchen again? I’d have thought you’d enjoy it a second time. I enjoyed it the first time, but maybe that’s because it wasn’t my dishes they were tossing around 🙂

“Kill a goblin or two for me!” said Bombur.

“Oh, but don’t get too close!”

“Aye, and watch out for Trolls!”

“And giants!”

“And rivers!”

“And spiders!”

“And Elves!”

Out of all the things that Bilbo’s supposed to watch out for, elves are hands down the funniest. Not sure which dwarf said it (there are a few different options for which one it could be), but it’s hilarious nonetheless.

Thorin took a last look at their brave little Burglar to whom he owed so much. “Farewell, Bilbo Baggins, respectable gentlehobbit of Bag End,” he said half to himself. “Farewell, wise and kindly child of the West.” He drank in the sight of the curly head, the bold bare little chin, the small leaf-like ears, the shrewd eyes and sharp tongue, clever hands and large furry feet. “I am sorry,” he added, his voice nearly a whisper.

Bilbo abruptly stopped and faced the Mountain, and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. “Farewell, Thorin Oakenshield,” he said, his face lifting. “And Fíli and Kíli! May your memory never fade!”

They’re both talking to each other, and each thinks the other can’t hear them. And they’re both a bit wrong and it’s just…ugh, the feels.

Fíli nervously tugged at a moustache braid. “Frerin told me something.”

Thorin sighed. “Do I need to hit him?”

Fíli scowled. “Very hard. Repeatedly.”

I can get where Fíli and Kíli are coming from, it’d be hard to remember to refer to someone younger than you (in years lived anyway, he’s got them beat in years existing) ‘Uncle’, but I can see where Frerin is coming from too. If he hadn’t died, he likely would have been as close to Fíli and Kíli as Thorin is, and they likely would have called him ‘Uncle’ sometimes too. Now, he’s got the chance to have that, and he still can’t, because Fíli and Kíli are technically older than him and don’t feel right calling him that…I feel a bit sorry for Frerin, but it’s amusing too, seeing how good he is at annoying Fíli and Kíli. I can’t really blame Thorin for placing a bet, I’d have been doing the same thing.

“Why did Mahal give you this gift?” Fíli said. “A gift that doesn’t even work?”

“I think perhaps it is because I shouted at him,” Thorin said thoughtfully, and a short bark of laughter escaped Fíli.

“You yelled at our Maker,” he said, and shook his head against Thorin’s shoulder. “You’re unbelievable sometimes.”

Only Thorin could yell at Mahal and get a gift out of it. I swear, Thorin’s one of his favorites.

“Hmm,” Fíli said, and pulled back to frown up at his uncle. “Who hears you?”

“Dáin does, now and then. Occasionally Balin, Dori and Glóin as well, and Dwalin quite frequently. And Gimli most of all.”

“Gimli?” Fíli’s mouth dropped open. “Our little cousin Gimli?”

“He’s not so little anymore,” Thorin said, raising his eyebrows. “The lad has more beard than Bofur, is broader than Nori and is most certainly taller than you, though not as tall as Kíli. I judge he’s over four foot six and has further still to grow.”

“I know, I know, but he’ll always be little Gimli with the terrible temper to me,” Fíli said, shaking his head. “Gimli hears you! Well, that is a shock.”

Okay, but imagine Gimli, when he’s finally old enough to pass on, and hearing Fíli call him ‘little Gimli with the terrible temper’ and simultaneously crying (because he missed them so much) and being a bit embarrassed (I’m a dwarf lord! I helped save all of Arda! I’m taller than you are! You can’t call me ‘little’ anymore). And Fíli just saying ‘watch me’.

“I know that look,” Thorin said suspiciously. “That is not a reassuring look.”

That is a dwarf who helped raise these two and knows exactly how much trouble Kíli and Fíli can get into.

“Ah, Náli!” Gimli growled, and brought the handle of his own weapon up before his face. The clash was deafening. “You will have to do better than that! Dwalin would have had me defeated and mopping out the barracks by now!”

I have a feeling that, no matter how old Gimli gets, he’ll think of Dwalin as the greatest axeman he knew, even if he skill does someday surpass Dwalin’s.

“Aye, and rivers will run backward and Elves will live underground and Dwarves will roost in trees, Laín’s son,” Gimli retorted, rather rudely. Fíli and Kíli immediately broke out into snickers, and Thorin smiled despite himself.

Best insult ever! If more people in my life cared about the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, I would use this insult all the time.

Also, Náli was pretty fair. Yeah, Lóni was the one who attacked when Gimli’s back was turned, after the fight was over, but Gimli also didn’t need to hit him in the nose. Lóni was already stopped because of the ale in his face, he should’ve let the teacher handle it from there.

“Hold that to your nose, I have to clean up all this ale.” Gimli eyed the mess and grabbed another cloth before hunkering down on his knees and beginning to soak up the spilled ale. “I’m not going to apologise for being good,” he said as he scrubbed, blowing a lock of fiery hair out of his eyes. “Neither am I going to feel sorry for a Dwarf who tried to axe me in the back! But a training partner with more strength and reach than me – now, that is of interest. You can get the recognition you crave so badly when you knock me on my back fair and square. What do you say?”

I gotta say, Gimli’s more forgiving than I am. I probably wouldn’t have forgiven someone trying to axe me in the back this easily. He’s got a point about Lóni being a good training partner, though.

“Is old Borin’s tavern still running then?” Kíli wondered, and then quailed at Thorin’s sudden dark look. Fíli gave a weak little laugh and hushed Kíli with a hand over his mouth.

“Just… an academic interest, Thorin.”

“Yes, never stepped foot in it ourselves,” Kíli said, muffled by Fíli’s palm.

“Or broke a table.”

“Or a lamp.”

“Or Borin’s teeth.”

“Lies and conjecture.”

“Must have been two other Dwarves that looked like us.”

“Yes, and with the same names. Imposters, no doubt.”

Thorin rolled his eyes to the ceiling and prayed for patience.

Fíli and Kíli trying to cover up for each other when they reveal something that they didn’t want Thorin to know is hilarious, as is Thorin’s reaction to it.

Gimli blinked, and then he shook his head sharply. “Surely I can’t get drunk from a few fumes,” he said to himself, and Kíli snorted.

“You’re not drunk, lad,” Thorin said, and shook his own head in disbelief. “We’re here.”

Gimli squinted, peering straight past Thorin. “Must be imagining things. I can’t be drunk and I do not think I am mad…”

Fíli smacked his forehead with his palm.

Thorin resisted the urge to do the same. “Not mad either, cousin. Mahal grants us this, that we can see you from beyond the mists. To me he gave a greater gift. Some may hear me.”

“I’m of Durin’s line,” Gimli continued, his brow creasing with worry. “I could be mad. I’m too young for it, though.”

“Steady,” Fíli said quietly, putting a hand on Thorin’s shoulder as he shook with anger and shame.

“You are not mad,” he said shortly. “Only very, very dense.”

This is hilarious. A bit sad for Thorin, because of the mad bit, but mostly hilarious. Anyone’s reaction would probably be similar if they thought dead people were talking to them, though, so I can’t really blame him.

“He was her brother,” Gimli whispered, and then he pulled at his vibrant hair. “Oh, I am such a fool! Of course my conscience would not let me rest until I had seen her. I lost my cousins, but she lost all she had left in the world. Not drunk, not mad, not tricked, but surely a blind and selfish fool!”

“He… he thinks you’re his conscience,” said Fíli blankly.

Thorin looked at him helplessly.

I laughed a bit here too, imagining Thorin with a little button that says ‘Conscience’ and standing on Gimli’s shoulder like Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio.

“How’d a boulder-faced shrub like Glóin end up with a Dwarrowdam like that?” Fíli said, eyes wide.

“He was kind, honest and respectful,” Thorin said. “And he made her laugh.”

I’ve said it before, but I kind of imagine it as a Roger and Jessica Rabbit situation. Everyone was chasing after Mizim because of her looks, but Glóin loved her for who she was and won her over by making her laugh.

“I’m in love,” Kíli declared fervently.

“I saw her first,” Fíli snarled.

Thorin gritted his teeth. “You are both dead.”

Kíli gave him a wounded look. “That was uncalled for.”

What I really want to know is that, if Gimli played with Fíli and Kíli as often as they say, how did they never see Mizim or Gimrís before? Did Gimli just always go over to their place? Or did they just never visit each others’ homes? Honestly, I don’t care though, because this piece of dialogue and the previous one I talked about are more than worth it.

“Brother,” the lass growled. “I hope you have your axe on you, because after waking me you are going to need it.”

Me, whenever my brother’s loud early in the morning when I had a late shift the night before.

“Aye, and I called her ‘Aunt’ and she bounced me on her knee, I remember,” Gimli said, and splashed water over his face. “If she does not wish to see me, then I will try again another time. She has been left alone all this time and so she must feel that she is alone. She should know that we think of her and that she is still cared for as a Dwarf, not just as the Regent of Thorin’s Hall. I am not her son or her brother, but I am family and I care. And I loved them too.”

Reason #10000 why I love Gimli. A lot of the other reasons are from this story, although many of them are from canon too.

“You’re a good boy, my son.”

He squirmed away, batting at her with wet hands. “Mum, I am sixty-three soon! I am not a boy!”

She snorted. “You are such a boy, Gimli. I’ll find your clasps. I hope you still fit your engraved boots.”

I laughed a bit because I did this when I was a kid. Everyone would say I was a little girl, and I’d say, indignantly, that I was [insert age here] and so I was /not/ a little girl. Never thought I’d related so well to a sixty-three year old dwarf, but that’s part of the magic of this story. The characters are dangerously relatable, both canon and OC.

“You must have been fighting a thornbush. And those trousers don’t suit that tunic either. You won’t be able to wear it much longer, you know. Your shoulders are about to come through the seams.”

“Not my fault,” Gimli said defensively. “I grew too fast.”

“You ate too much, you mean,” she said, and he sent an elbow back into her stomach.

“I had to eat, I was growing!”

This is only a snippet of it, but I love all of Gimli and Gimrís’ bickering. Gimrís uses loving insults as a way to let her brother know she cares about him, and Gimli knows what she’s doing and goes back and forth with her and it’s just adorable, really.

“Where are we?” Thorin hissed, following closely behind. “I do not recognise this part of the Halls.”

“Don’t tell me you’re lost!” said Kíli.

Someone needs to make Thorin a map.

“Mining?” Thorin frowned. “His father is a Lord. He does not need to mine for a living.”

“Thorin, everyone worked, even you. You took on blacksmithing, I was a jeweller like Mum, and Kíli was a bowyer. No doubt Óin took Gimli into the mines; I know he still treats the miners now and then for their injuries.”

Thorin, dear, did you forget how much smithing you did over the years between Erebor’s fall and Erebor being reclaimed?

“Gimli, son of Glóin,” Gimli said with a polite bow. “I am here to see the Lady Dís, if she will.”

“The Lady sees no-one,” the Dwarf said shortly, and began to close the door. It stopped on Gimli’s heavy engraved boot, and the younger Dwarf gave the guard a pleasant smile.

“Announce me,” he suggested. “Perhaps she will make an exception.”

“Are you deaf, boy? The Lady sees no-one,” the guard with impatience, and kicked Gimli’s foot away.

“Perhaps I should make myself clearer,” Gimli said, still smiling. “Gimli of the Line of Durin, here to see his cousin, if she will.”

The guard’s sneer dropped like a stone. “I’ll announce you.”

“You do that.”

“All right,” Thorin said. “Now I believe the boy is related to me.”

If that didn’t make it clear, Thorin, I don’t know what would.

“She’ll see you,” he said. “But don’t expect her to be pleasant.”

“I don’t expect her to be anything other than as she is,” said Gimli with admirable calmness.

I love Gimli.

To the three children of Thráin, they had said, Mahal gave one a voice of golden thunder, one a voice of silver bells, but the third – the third had a voice of mithril and diamonds, more lovely than the voices of Elves and as pure as the snowmelt from the peak of the Mountain.

Another thing I love about this story? Sentences like this. It’s so marvelously descriptive, and it fits with the one voice we have heard (Thorin), and gives you a basis for how his siblings might sound.

Gimli blinked, and then he looked down at his hands. “You’re not my Aunt,” he said slowly. “You’re my cousin. And we… we lost some of our family. There’s just me and Gimrís and you, because everyone else…”

“Is dead,” Dís croaked, and finally looked up from the fire. “Everyone is dead. My whole family, but for cousins like you. My sons, my last brother, my One, my father… we were so proud, so strong. Well, Mahal has punished us for our pride, at least.”

“No!” Gimli blurted, and he took another couple of quick steps towards her. “Not everyone is dead!”

“You?” Dís laughed. It was utterly unbearable to hear. “Your sister? Balin, Dwalin, your father and uncle? You are not my family. We are relatives, no more than that. No, my family is dead and gone. The line of Thrór is ended.”

“They’re not all dead,” Gimli repeated, and he lifted his eyes to hers. “There’s you.”

She froze, and then sagged. “Me.”

Oh Dís! She’s so alone, and Gimli’s trying to make her see that she /isn’t/ alone, not completely, and that there are still people left who love her for who she is, not because she’s the princess, and who mourn Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli for who they were, rather than just the king and princes.

Gimli snorted. “Oh, Kíli’s hair.”

To Thorin’s amazement, she laughed – rusty and unused, but a true laugh. “Kíli’s damned hair. I used to struggle with him every morning to at least get most of it out of his eyes. Mahal only knows how he ever aimed at a target through that curtain.”

“I feel I should be offended,” Kíli said.

Fíli gave him a sad half-grin. “The truth offends no-one but you, brother.”

“Don’t look at me,” Thorin added. “I remember the fits you had when your mother brought out a comb.”

Just everything about this. I love it. I’m with Kíli, though, I never have patience to do more than just brush my hair, and to pull it up into a ponytail on days I have to work.

“Gladly.” Gimli settled at her feet and launched into a tale of three Dwarflings and a hammer ‘borrowed’ from Dwalin. Dís listened closely, and laughed at the terrible predicament the three found themselves in; at the clever plots put into practice that only compounded the problem tenfold; at Dwalin’s outrage when the hammer was finally recovered and the terrible injustice of the punishment (polishing every weapon he owned until it gleamed). Her eyes were glossy, but she no longer wept. Her hand remained on Gimli’s vibrant hair, and every now and then she stroked it absently.

I wonder if Dwalin remembers this story, if he ever teased Gimli about it when he got older (like when Legolas is around?).

“Gimrís said she would come with me next time. Would you like that?”

She blinked as though coming awake, and then she smiled. It was still tinged with her fathomless sorrow, but she no longer looked or sounded more dead than alive. “That would be lovely. How old is your sister now?”

“Fifty-four,” Gimli said with a shudder.

“Ah, the fifties. I feel for your poor mother, with two Dwarrows under the age of seventy in her home.”

“I am very mature!” Gimli protested, and Dís laughed softly.

“Indeed you are. Bring Gimrís, and I will tell you of the time my brothers and I stole Dwalin’s favourite toy Oliphaunt.”

Gimli choked on his breath, and then laughed loudly and merrily. “Aye, that sounds like a tale not to be missed!”

Everything about this, but especially little Dwalin having a toy Oliphaunt that Dís and her brothers stole.

omg good point – I didn’t think of it at the time! OKAY SOLUTION – Gimris was besties with Baris, and mostly played with her. She was only a little ‘un when her big bro and his noisy friends were racing about together, and wasn’t really a part of that gang, being a whole 9 years younger than Gimli (who was a hell of a lot younger than Kili himself). Also, she was one of those kids who looked VERY different when they grow up to when they were little: no real signs of her adult beauty at that age. She hadn’t yet grown into herself. That massive wealth of hair? Mostly a gigantic mop, when she was a kid. Eyes unnervingly too big, like some kids too. Explains why she gets a teensy bit vain every so often, too, now that she’s all grown up and gorrrrgeous!

(ALSO I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUUU!? HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE YOU???)

Sansukh Re-read Ch.2

beargirl1393:

Okay, posting of chapter 2 ended up being delayed, because I had to run to the store and then crashed after I got home (getting up at four, five, and then six in the morning for three consecutive days will do that to you). Good news is, it’s a new day and I have very little that I need to do, so I can indulge in one of my favorite hobbies (reading, it’s tied with writing for first place), and squeal some more over this amazing story 🙂

Dwarrows centuries-dead greeted him, and as his sight returned he occasionally found himself brought up short by a familiar face or a vague family resemblance. Surely that was a Durin nose – surely those were the family ears! He walked around in a haze of recognition and bewilderment.

Kind of reminds me of one of my thoughts about the afterlife. If there’s something after death, will you get to see /all/ your family? Even people related to you but you’ve never met? No wonder poor Thorin’s confused, especially after how sudden his death was. Fíli and Kíli seem to be bouncing back a little faster, but they are younger and they don’t have as much grief and guilt as Thorin does, even if they’ve got their fair share.

Thorin’s grandmother, Queen Hrera, fussed and tutted over him more than she ever had as a young dwarfling. It took all his patience to refrain from reminding her that he was in fact older than her now, and had more white in his hair and beard than she had ever managed. Not that she would have listened, anyhow. The women of his family had always been even more mulish than the men. Fíli and Kíli smirked a lot whenever she managed to corral him and tweak his cheek.

He had his revenge when Hrera descended on them in turn and promptly began to plait Kíli’s hair.

Another OC I love? Hrera. Prim, proper, and still completely able to put you in your place if need be. Likely while sitting and sipping tea while her family looked on in amusement because they know better. She reminds me a little of the dwarf version of Queen Clarisse, so I love that too, but there’s just a lot about Hrera that’s amazing. Especially as the story goes on, and we see more of her (like her reactions to learning about Dís and Durin Bomfrísul and her interactions with Radagast).

A Dwarf with a multitude of honey-coloured braids and a puckish, mischievous face came near, and Thorin’s mouth opened on a soft intake of breath. Then he grabbed the Dwarf’s shoulders and drew him into a rough embrace. “Víli.”

His brother-in-law silently pressed their foreheads together. “Thank you for raising them,” said Víli son of Vár. “Thank you for being there when I could not.”

Thorin fumbled for Víli’s hand and grasped it tightly. “They are the best of my life,” he said, and Víli’s eyebrows rose and the ghost of the impish grin that had captured Dís’ heart passed over his lips.

I’ve read a lot of stories that reference Dís’ husband, some who I like more than others, but Víli is one of my favorites. He’s the perfect compliment to Dís, especially at the time of her life when they’d met, and it’s easy to see that Fíli and Kíli inherited more than just some of his looks, even if they wouldn’t know that until they joined him. Also, imagining Víli watching over Dís, Fíli, and Kíli all their lives, desperately wanting to be able to join them, to comfort them when they’re upset and join in on the laughter during the good times? Recipe for tears.

His cousins Náin and Fundin, both Burned Dwarves of Azanulbizar, instantly crowded him with enthusiastic pleas for news of their sons. Though Mahal had mentioned that any Dwarf in the Halls could watch over their kin at any time, it appeared that the immediacy of his tales was greatly appreciated and sought after. Though it tore at his heart, Thorin told them all that he could remember. His old cousin Farin, father to Fundin and Gróin, was quiet and calm, a smile tugging at his lips as he listened to the stories of his four heroic grandsons of the Company – Balin, Dwalin, Óin and Glóin.

Gróin was the worst of the lot, however. He was so proud of his grandson he was likely to explode, and asked Fíli and Kíli for any tales of their young playfellow at any and every opportunity. At these times, Thorin would take the opportunity to slip away and explore.

Gróin reminds me a lot of Glóin, unsurprisingly. They’re both so proud of their family that it isn’t even funny. And Thorin knows enough from being around Glóin for awhile to know that slipping away is a good idea. I can’t really blame him, though, since he hasn’t really gotten to interact with Gimli and it’s been years since he’s seen either of his sons. Things like this, and like Víli’s story, are why you’ll be wishing for deaths on a Game of Thrones magnitude, alright? Because they’re all able to be together with their loved ones when they’re dead (except for poor Narvi and Kíli). This story takes ‘death is but the next great adventure’ to a whole new height.

It was all a mystery to Thorin. Where were the Halls located? Aman, yes, obviously -but where? Were these great mines and workshops located in the Halls of Mandos, the Doomsman of the Valar? Or did the Dwarves bide their long years of waiting within the mountains of Mahal, their maker?

And for that matter – whence came the wood for the forges? Where the cloth for the clothes? Where the food for the meals? No Dwarf could tell him, and most seemed grudgingly resigned to never knowing. Thorin’s temperament was not well-suited to such mysteries, and he began to eye each meal suspiciously until his mother told him to stop it and eat.

Can’t blame Thorin for that. I’d be curious too, although I’d probably be in the grudgingly resigned camp before too long. I’d work myself up too much otherwise. Good thing Frís is able to get him to stop worrying about it for the moment.

Thorin gave his brother a quick glance. Frerin’s normally merry face was solemn, his bright blue eyes dark. He noticed Thorin’s regard and the corner of his mouth twitched ruefully. “I spent a lot of time here,” he said, “sitting upon that bench. That one just over there. I watched you and Dís and Dwalin and Balin, watched you all grow older. Older, and harder… and colder.” He swallowed hard, and tugged absently at his forked beard. “Mother and I nearly broke down when you finally smiled again after Fíli’s birth. We’d almost forgotten what it looked like.”

It must have been painful, watching his family and friends change so much, getting so closed off, so worried and stressed and angry, and not being able to do anything at all about it. Again, things like this are why people advise you to stock up on tissues before re-reading this. The happy ending’s coming, but there’s a lot of angst they have to work through first.

“You bloody fool,” Dwalin sighed, and scrubbed at his face before standing awkwardly and making his way with careful steps to a shelf. There he pulled down a flask, tore out the cork with his teeth, and took a long swig.

“Somehow I don’t think that will help, brother,” came another familiar voice. Thorin whirled to see Balin in the doorway, his white hair covered by a filthy bandage and part of his magnificent beard cut close to reveal a nasty, jagged cut along his cheek and jaw. “And I’m fairly certain it wasn’t in Óin’s orders.”

“He’s got his medicines, I’ve got mine,” Dwalin growled, and took another sip.

Knowing Óin, that might have actually been in his orders. Yeah, you’re not supposed to drink when you’re injured, but Dwalin’s stubborn enough that he probably wouldn’t have accepted any normal pain relief, if they had it to spare, and considering that Óin gets blindingly drunk later on, it seems to be his way of dealing with emotional pain. Drink first, deal with it after the headache goes away. So, he probably would have realized that Dwalin needed it to help him? Not that Balin’s wrong, Dwalin needs to be talking about it instead of bottling everything up and drinking alone, but I’m thinking that Óin’s so busy that he wouldn’t have even lectured Dwalin if he’d found out.

Thorin closed his eyes, and when next they opened he was looking out at a hall covered in a sea of sluggish bodies. The hundreds upon hundreds of wounded were filling the air with their groans and cries, and Thorin bit down on a cry of his own as he saw the carnage the orcs had wrought.

Óin looked exhausted. His curled braids were frayed and his eyes were deep black pits in his sunken face. Glóin, Dori and Bilbo moved around him with mechanical movements, washing the wounded, feeding them, boiling water and smearing ointment on injuries. In a corner in a great rotted chair sat Nori, tearing cloth to make bandages. His left leg came to a shocking stop below his knee, and a metal peg – obviously Bofur’s work – sat half-finished beside him. Amongst the beds trudged Óin, drooping and ceaseless, his hands never still as he stitched and cut and wrapped. None of them spoke.

The ugly side of war that no one ever talks about. Even if it’s something like this, life or death battling against the orcs, that doesn’t mean that there will be no casualties. I mean, I love reading stories where all the good guys survive without any sort of injury as much as the next person, but this is a far more realistic look at it.

Dori’s face sagged, though his voice was brisk. “Yes indeed we will, Mister Glóin. This time, however, I’ll do it. Your sewing is atrocious, if you’ll pardon me saying.”

“I’m a banker, not a weaver,” Glóin retorted.

Oh Dori.

Dáin watched him go with weariness written all over his face, before turning back to the Elf. “Forgive him, Prince Legolas,” he said. “He suffered at the hands of your… hospitality, shall we call it? And later, of course, it seemed that Men and Elves alike would happily clamber over their corpses in order to steal that which rightfully belongs to our people. Dwarves do not quickly forget an injustice.”

Dáin might be better at using tact than Thorin, but he’s not going to just lie back and let anyone walk over him. Honestly, I love Dáin so much, and this fic only added to my mental image of him.

“Durin’s hammer and tongs,” Frerin whispered. “Did he… do you think he can…”

“I told you,” Thorin said thickly, “Mahal gave me a gift. They will sense my words in their deepest minds.”

Frerin stared at him.

“I know.” Thorin closed his eyes. “I am unworthy.”

“Not that,” Frerin said. “You must watch what you say! This is a power no Dwarf should have.”

Thorin frowned. “Why? They cannot hear my words as you do.”

“You could influence them without their knowing,” Frerin said, his bright youthful face unusually serious. “You must be careful, Thorin. They could act without knowledge of their actions.”

Opening his mouth to retort, Thorin abruptly recalled the subtle power of the gold and his desperate determination to see the treasures of his people safe in Dwarven hands. Troubled, he turned back to Dáin. “Aye.”

I was waiting for someone to say it, and Frerin didn’t disappoint in the slightest.

Dís blinked back her tears, and her hand tightened about the crushed message. “That prideful fool,” she rasped, her voice harsh with weeping.

“Aye,” Thorin said, and smiled through a fresh storm of shame. “A prideful fool who loves you. Though I die, that will never change. No veil of death can stop it.”

“Nothing ever stopped him,” she said, and buried her face in her hands once more. “Why did he never stop?”

“Line of Durin, sister,” he said, and swallowed roughly. “A proud… family trait.”

“Damn the Line of Durin to the nethermost pits of Moria,” she hissed into her palms, and her voice began to rise with barely-contained anguish. “Damn our line, and damn our pride, and damn our name, and damn our blind, wilful madness! Let the dragon have Erebor if it would bring them back to me! I would have them here! How am I to go on alone? My sons are gone! My brother gone! Our line is spent and I am alone!” She whirled and took up a cup on her dresser and flung it against the wall with a cry of rage and misery.

“You will go on,” said Thorin. “You will, daughter of Kings, best of sisters. You are as stubborn as the rest of us.”

She collapsed across her bed, and her tears began anew. Thorin stood and sighed.

I’m going to be saying this a lot, but poor Dís. Her husband, parents, brother and grandparents have been gone for years, and now her sons and only living sibling are gone as well and she’ll feel like she’s all alone. It’s around this point (if it didn’t already happen back when Víli was introduced), that you’ll hope that Dís joins her family soon. Instead, she lives a fairly long life, but she’s got a star to light up the darkness of her post-war life (yes, I know, I’m not even remotely subtle).

Thorin watched the young Dwarf work for a moment longer, noting the mechanical movements and the dogged persistence that kept one foot stepping in front of the other. “The lad is mourning his playfellows, and seeks to exhaust himself with work rather than weep,” he said.

“I have wept long enough,” Gimli muttered to himself. “Aye, and loudly too! Work is what is needed. Work will tire my mind and keep my thoughts quiet.”

“Thorin!” Frerin’s eyes widened in astonishment. “He hears you!”

“He hears me well, even more clearly than Dáin or Dís,” Thorin said slowly, and he tilted his head as he studied his youngest cousin further. Gimli laced his fingers and made the knuckles crack loudly, and then he hefted a sawn tree-round to the block and unslung a wood-axe from his belt. A strong boy, then. “He must be quite a perceptive lad. Glóin does well to be proud of him.”

Gimli’s more perceptive than anyone (in fandom especially) gives him credit for. He’s strong, yes, and great with an axe, but that’s not all he is. He’s smart, and he’s pretty good with people too. (There’s more, but if I start listing Gimli’s good points, this post will end up about twice the length it is already).

“Lofty ambitions,” Frerin said, and leaned against the parapet. “See that swing? He’s a natural axeman, and already a talented warrior. Dwalin trained him along with our nephews. It was rather entertaining to watch them – they are both equally as pigheaded as each other.”

“He’s a Dwarf, of course he’s pigheaded,” said Thorin.

I laughed so hard at this bit.

OH MY GOSHSHSKASGLAJHS

Sansukh Re-read Ch.1

beargirl1393:

Okay, first, FlukeofFate and a-sirens-lullaby did amazing art for this and it always reminds me of the cover art on certain books, fancy and giving you hints of what the book’s about but not spoiling anything. That really doesn’t have anything to do with the writing, but it’s amazing! Also, all of the art people have done for this? Amazing!

This is also probably a good time to admit that I read this before I had finished reading The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books and before I’d watched all the movies. I knew that Thorin, Fili, and Kili died, it was impossible to avoid those spoilers on tumblr, but I’d put off starting this (despite how cool it sounded) because of that. I caved, however, and thus there were a few things that I read here before I was able to read them in the books (I think there were fifteen or twenty chapters of Sansukh by the time I finished reading both books).

Where was the Hobbit? Where was the frozen lake? Last he recalled, he had been bleeding to death at the edges of the silent battlefield. His madness had passed, but it had exacted too high a price. His family was spent and gone, his nephews cold and stiffened in death and rent with many wounds. Their soft-handed and great-hearted Burglar had forgiven him, even as he wept over Thorin’s broken body.

He did not deserve such forgiveness.

Poor Thorin, he’s got so much guilt and it takes him so long to work through it 😥 I really just want to wrap him up in a soft blanket and tell him that he’ll be okay.

Thorin opened his new, useless eyes and glared into the darkness. “Then why, may I ask, did you make me so flawed?”

Thorin yelling at his Maker is both heartbreaking and a bit funny. Heartbreaking, because everything that he says, he believes. He really thinks that Mahal made a mistake, that he was flawed, that he was the reason things had gone wrong and that nothing else contributed it. A bit funny, though, because Thorin is literally yelling at a supremely powerful being who can’t even touch Thorin without him feeling the amount of power Mahal holds. And Thorin literally doesn’t care, he’s speaking his mind and Mahal just lets him vent.

“I lived less well. And amends are not of use,” Thorin spat. “That is not the point of them!”

Thorin understands this better than 90% of people I interact with on a daily basis.

“Everyone, this way! Found him, finally, how many sepulchres are there in this place?”

“Mahal only knows. Actually, he probably does. We should ask.”

As soon as I read the summary for this story, I was honestly hoping that someone would make a ‘Mahal only knows’ ‘Well, then why don’t you ask him’ joke, and it happened in the first chapter!

“Best move out of the way,” Thrór muttered, and Thráin chuckled again.

“Aye, she won’t be patient much longer.”

“You mean she can be patient?”

“Don’t insult my wife, you old coot.”

There’s a lot of feels in this chapter, but it’s the funny bits like this that help me keep from breaking into tears so soon. I need to pace myself, after all, or there’ll be none left by the time I get to Dís and Dísith.

“By the way, Grandma is kind of terrifying,” Kíli said, and then he yelped as the lady Frís, daughter of Aís, Princess Under the Mountain and wife of Thráin, presumably pinched him.

“Behave, young one,” she said sternly, pulling back to stroke Thorin’s face again and thread her fingers through his close-cropped beard. “I’ll get to you two in a moment.”

“Terrifying,” said Fíli admiringly. “I kinda see where Mum gets it from, now.”

“Our grumpy little Dís as a mother,” said a young, laughing voice, a voice that rang like bells. “Let Middle-Earth tremble.”

Have I mentioned that I love Frís? Because I do, so much, and it’s things like this, as well as how compassionate she is, how organized she is, how loving…okay, there’s a lot to love about Frís. She’s one of my favorite Sansukh OCs.

“Shut up,” Thorin choked, and Frerin threw back his head and laughed his silver laugh and oh, Thorin had missed him, missed him so much.

“You shut up,” he said gently, and then Frerin was pulling his braid and abruptly Thorin was struck with a memory so vivid that he reeled with the strength of it, sent back to a hazy, golden time when he was five years old and the new baby kept chewing and tugging at his hair.

How every sibling reunion ever probably goes, minus the hair pulling. Or with more of it, depending on who the siblings are.

“I’m dreaming, yes?” he asked of no-one in particular. “Thorin doesn’t tease. He got brought back wrong. Mahal made a mistake.”

“Oh, you think you two were bad?” said Thrór archly. “These two had you beaten.”

“Why do you think he already knew most of your tricks?” added Frerin. “We thought up that stuff a century before you two.”

“It was always your idea,” Thorin muttered.

“And you always led the way,” Frerin said, and nudged him. “Such a dutiful Prince!”

Kíli wailed aloud, and Thorin could just picture the look of betrayal on his face. “Everything I knew is wrong,” he moaned.

Thorin smiled through his tears and Fíli chuffed a laugh. “Poor Kíli. He’s pulling at his hair again.”

“Tell him to stop. He doesn’t have hair enough to spare,” Thorin said, and Kíli’s outraged yelp made him smile all the harder.

Poor Kíli, he doesn’t know half of the things Thorin and Frerin got up to before he was even thought of. His pranking title is in serious jeopardy in light of this new information.

“I have a bone to pick with you,” said Fíli into his ear. “Why didn’t you or Mum ever tell me I looked like your mother and brother? I always thought I was the odd one out!”

“In this family?” Frís snorted. “When it comes to odd, we are rather spoiled for choice.”

I’ve said something similar to this so often in real life, that I actually laughed when I read this bit for the first time. My dog looked at me funny, apparently I’d woken her up from her nap.

“You weren’t so nice to us,” accused Fíli. “Mobbed us, you did! I thought we were under attack at first! I punched my own father on the nose!”

That surprised a true laugh out of Thorin, thought it hurt his chest. “You hit Víli?” he said.

“He did. And I stamped on Grandfather’s foot,” said Kíli.

Thráin cleared his throat. “And bit my hand,” he added sternly.

“Well, you try being blind as a bat and naked as a mole and having your dead grandfather commenting on your lack of beard, see how you like it,” Kíli grumbled.

Poor Víli, that’s probably not how he expected his reunion with his sons to go.

“Oh, it’s Thrór all over again, someone stop him,” groaned Frís. “We’re going to drown in the combined guilt of the Line of Durin before we ever lay a stone of Arda Remade.”

If all of the Durins are like Thorin, then Frís is probably right about that.

image

I’M SPEECHLESS AND ALSO DEAD

*clings to @beargirl1393 like a maddened koala* ;zfdgh;askhdgfaljshdfglsajhdfgksjhfdgskjhsdfhglsajdhfga

An Incomplete List of Things A (Real) Small Kid Does And Says – A Reference

I’ve been reading some fics with lil kids in them recently, and it’s been a bit hit-and-miss, and dialogue especially can get a bit jarring. Writing kids’ dialogue/action is REALLY hard, and sometimes a little nudge can help. 🙂

How to help, though? I decided to take some notes and make a little reference sheet for folks out there who don’t often get to interact with small persons, but like to write kidfic!

So, for reference – my child is 2 years and 10 months old – very bright, happy, funny, loud and super-active. Loves books, singing, words, the alphabet, numbers, dinosaurs, music, ballerinas, and puzzles. She can count to thirty, and will point out the beginning letter of any word a million times (”DOUBYOU IS FOR WHALE! Is for Whale, Mummy!”).

  • Speaks in third person sometimes, ‘MUMMY, OH! OH! [HER NAME] FELL OVER! OW! [HER NAME] HURT MY KNEE!” (and yes, she will mix up ‘my’ and ‘her’ because fuck third person/first person rules when you are two and cute as a button and just banged your knee.)
  • Has never used ‘Me loves’ or ‘Me wants’. EVER. I have never, ever, EVER heard a real living child use this ‘me’ instead of ‘I’ thing, and it’s ubiquitous in fic. It’s inescapable! Seriously. They get the difference between ‘me’ and ‘I’ REALLY FAST. If anything, they mix up ‘I’ and ‘I’m’ more often.
  • Mixes up who she’s speaking to – a LOT. I have been called everything from ‘Daddy’ to the cat’s name to the name of her daycare provider’s husband.
  • “Vegables” (I will be sad when this one disappears!)
  • When she got the hang of ‘-s’ to mean a plural, she started saying ‘sick’ instead of ‘six’. One, two, three, four, five, sick, seven. Because an ‘-s’ sound on the end meant that there was more than one six, yeah? Perfectly logical!
  • “I done” (I did), “I taked” (I took), “I putted” (I put). Past tense is difficult.  
  • And mixing up which tense in a full sentence, yup, it happens. “Mummy! I want going for a WALK!” “Mummy, I’m swinged on a swing!”
  • “Lellow” instead of ‘Yellow’. She knows it begins with ‘Y’ – she just says ‘Lellow!’ Probably because it is more fun to say.
  • When she was learning to count to twenty, she would count EVERYTHING. And also make up the names of new numbers when she couldn’t think of them. So. Much. Counting.
  • Related – SO. MUCH. ALPHABET. ‘Lion is an L! Doubyou is for WATERMELON!’
  • “Wiv” actually happens. Who knew?
  • I spin like a ballelina! Look mummy! I’m a beeyootiful Ballellina!
  • for that matter, longer words like ‘beautiful’ don’t get shortened. They get ELONGATED. She sounds out every vowel and dipthong, quite stretched out. “Ohhh. Is so beeyootiful.” Hearing the word ‘hippopotamus’ is a lengthy experience.
  • ‘No’ is a favourite word. It follows words, it precedes words, it is a complete sentence in itself. Always always always. No fic I have ever read ever shows the epic, EPIC overuse of NO in a toddler’s lexicon. Also, “I don’t WANT to/it” vs “I want it!!”
  • Repetition, endless ENDLESS repetition. Toddlers love repeating the last thing you say, too. So watch that language 😉
  • The ‘fwee’ instead of ‘three’ thing isn’t every kid, jeez. She can say ‘three’ perfectly well, and has been able to for at least a year. She can say GARDENING and HEXAGON and RHINOCEROS and DINOSAUR, ferchrissakes.
  • Likewise, a lisp and the ‘fw’ thing are not interchangeable to show ‘toddler speak’. A kid might have one of these, but it’s insanely unlikely to have BOTH.
  • Mixing up sentence order happens quite a lot! “It’s dinner time! Mummy, the clock is on sick! Is dinner time!” (The hand of the clock is on six – time for dinner!)
  • Context will often be completely ?????. She had quite a tantrum the other night because Daddy was going to give her three ‘stories’ after bath. We were confused – she LOVES reading, and always gets three books after bath, before bed. She absolutely adores it. But no, she didn’t want three STORIES – she wanted three books. To us, that was the same thing, but to her she wasn’t equating ‘story’ with ‘storybook’.
  • Likewise, when I asked her to point to something she wanted, she pointed her foot and said ‘point!’ I had meant to point her finger… but she didn’t know that it was CALLED ‘pointing’ her finger… she only knew ‘point’ in the context of pointing her foot!
  • Oh yes, vocalising/narrating everything she does. “I’m patting the pussycat!” “I’m bouncing on the bed!” “I’m riding the scootah!” (she totally says SCOOTAH) “I’m eating the peeeeeeeas!” “I’m playing the tea party!” “I’m in the bath!” “I’m on the toylut!” All. The. Time.
  • Incomprehensible mumbles between intelligble words every now and then. Her mouth can’t keep up, you see 🙂 So you end up with ‘MUMMY, (mumbleumble) a biscuit!’ You get the general gist, but the interim of the sentence is totally lost.
  • ‘Is’ begins a lot of declarations, rather than ‘It Is.” So, “Is a butterfly!” “Is a pajamas!” “Is a dragonfruit!” “Is a tea party!”
  • Gets finicky about food, even food she usually LOVES. They love to test things at this age! Also, bedtime manipulation tactics, to delay lights-off. Sneaky af. Her current one is to yell ‘help help!!’ the minute we turn off the light and shut her bedroom door – god knows what the neighbours think!!
  • Alternatively clingy as hell/independent as hell. One day you might love to have a cuddle, but she won’t even look up at you. Ah well! The next day, you can’t pry her off you. HUH. One day, “I CAN DO [HER NAME] SHOES UP MYSELF!” and the next: “Mummyyyyyyyy, I want to putting on my dressing down” (she means dressing gown – and I have to do it for her – and I gotta put mine on too, or we don’t match and she will get the grizzles)
  • THE SULKS. Even the most chill, even-tempered toddler will get the sulks sometimes. Perhaps after being told, ‘you shouldn’t play with [dangerous thing] because you might hurt yourself’ for instance. That’s ok and normal – some feelings are very big for a very small person to manage! Tantrums happen too: don’t shy away from making your cute little kid a REAL cute little kid, with all the socially-inappropriate little-kid reactions, whining, sulking and screaming in public and all. It makes the cuddly little toddler-hugs even more special.
  • Demanding things, sometimes very rudely or imperiously, because manners are difficult to remember. They will NOT always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – you gotta prompt them to say it. (When they DO say it without prompting? *ANGELIC CHOIR*)
  • Ending a sentence before it is finished. For example, “Mummy, I put my gumboots!” The word ‘on’ SHOULD be at the end, of course, but the important word to her is GUMBOOTS, because they are new and she loves them. So. Much. So the sentence ends there!
  • Oh yes, there’s always the mispronounced word that, no matter how many times you gently correct it, no matter how many times she repeats it properly, stubbornly remains mispronounced. Ours are currently ‘dressing down’, ‘vegebles’ ‘ballellina’ and ‘airloplane.’ AND SIX. oh my god, lmao I love that one.

So, there we have it, a little assortment of things a real toddler says, complete with syntax and context. Use them wisely, and have fun writing those kid characters.

(any other parents/guardians/teachers/carers out there, feel free to add!)

Trethril

uweyvi:

The first thing that Laindawar noticed when he had first laid eyes on Muil was how her eyes gleamed. A mixture of sadness and mirth. The longer he spent time with her the more this was confirmed.

This Avari had a duality to her, a bitter sadness inside of her and a mirth and happiness that was rare in the eldar he knew. Most were weary from their long lives and all the sorrows they bore.  

That was what he noticed when he saw her sitting down in the moor (she was also still troublesome). Her long, brown hair floating out around her on the ground. She had taken the mass down from its usual preparation. She was gazing at the sky; leaning back against her hands as she did so. The only change in her posture was that her ears swiveled towards him as he came from the direction of camp.

Without speaking he sat down beside her. His back towards her as he looked out towards the small pond. In the distance the mountains loomed and a small forest grew behind them. Another small pond was enshrined in the forest. He had found it when he was scouting out the area.

The silence between them was peaceful. Off in the distance the sun was low in the sky casting a beautiful, warm light over the valley. The flowers opened around them greeting the coming of Tilion. Releasing their sweet scent in the valley.

It also meant that Meluiwen was still asleep. Her gentle snores coming from the direction of the cart. A tent thrown over it too shelter the child from the elements.

Near the wagon was Kara who was sharpening her ax. Every once in a while she would glance towards the tent. Laindawar was unsure if it was because the dwarrrowdam did not trust the orc-child. If this was the case she  was wary of her. It could also be she was curious about the orc-child. He didn’t see the point in asking anyway. It was not like he had a reason to pry.

A gentle rustling and then warmth pressed against him. His heart sped up as Laindawar could only imagine one thing that would cause such a warmth. She was resting her head against his back. 

“What is on your mind Pigenor?” she asked. Sensing that something was off with him. Her eyes darting over the scene in front of them. A smile gracing her features as she espied the nervous way Kara acted. She sensed no malcontent towards her child and figured that Kara was curious and did not want to admit it.

He felt his face heat up. Her hands were moving through his hair. Brushing it out with idle strokes of her hand. Shivers raced up his spine. This was new to him, no one besides his family had dared such a thing before.

He did not answer her. Instead he looked up at the changing sky. Admiring the way the colors changed as the sky waited for the sun to set.

She didn’t feel ruffled by his lack of a response. Instead she was busy with the thoughts of her own mind. She was in a difficult mood again. A longing stirring inside of her. She was so tired of being lonely. Sharing so much time with mortals had changed her. She had attached her heart to so many and when they passed on it tore at her. Unlike many who would have long ago faded or wearied from the grief Muil stood form. Unmovable in her resolve to save the world.

But with this endurance came the desire for something more tangible. Someone who she could share her thoughts and feelings. Someone whom she could share her soul without fear of them slipping through her fingers. For like all the eldar she could die of a broken heart – and that is not how she planned to end her days at all.

Unwilling to stop herself as she mused she brushed his Laindawar’s hair. Trying with her desperate thoughts to content herself with this small intimacy.

Laindawar said nothing. Instead he smirked and continued to watch the sky. He too enjoyed the comfort of her touch. It reminded him of his family and that soothed him. He missed his brothers and his father more than he cared to admit.

Soon though Muil found herself feeling rather puckish. A mischievous light filling her storm-silver eyes. Could she get a rise out of him?  Her hands moved from his hair to his ears. Running the tips of her fingers over them as she knelt behind him. Bending down she nipped the tip of one of his ears. Biting it and lavishing the tip with her tongue. A trick she used to do to her sisters to instigate them. A giggle escaping her as she felt him stiffen. Her fondest wish was that it had worked!

Not wanting to stay and see how he would retaliate she stood up and hurried off. She moved with a fleet grace towards the forest. She did not want to act like a child in front of the others. But she needed this release.

Yet, as soon as she moved out of sight and hearing of the rest of the group she felt the air escape her lungs. She squeaked as she was brought to the ground with an audible thud.

Laindawar was on top of her in a heartbeat. Pinning her beneath him he snarled at her. His ears red as he gazed down on her, a fire burning in his blue eyes.

She regretted her decision in this instant. Her eyes widening as fear washed over her. How would this small, but much stronger, elf react?

“Turnabout is fair play.” he reprimanded before he bent down and licked the shell of her ear. A smile of triumph gracing his features as he noticed the glazed over look in Muil’s eyes.

Laindawar could not bring himself to move as he looked down at her. Worry worming its way into him even though his face remained impassive. He was unsure of what to do in this situation. Had he upset her in some way? Did he trigger something? His worry began to blossom like kudzu vines. Sweat starting to bead on his brow.

Pushing herself up against him she touched her ear a nervous half-smile on her lips. A giggle then escaped her. Turnabout was fair play and she was glad she had not upset him. She had a moment when she had remembered being tackled by her sister Gilrin when she did it to her. A sweet memory that brought a wistful smile to her lips.

Reaching up she trailed her fingers over his neck. And then she giggled. “I’m not as sensitive as you are .” she admitted. His ears were red after all and she was very sure hers were not. As she had done this many times with her family she was actually positive hers were not red.

Staring down at her he leaned down and bit her ear this time. Deciding that if she was going to state that he was going to prove her wrong! This elicited a squeal from the much taller elf. Writhing under him she giggled with uncontrollable mirth and bucked hard; breaking away. Laughter blossoming from her as she sprinted off towards the pond.

She slid to a stop and turned around. Colliding with him again with an oomph. Then she rolled them over. Straddling him she continued to giggle. Mirth filling her to the brim.

Running her hands over his armor she started untying it with deft fingers so she could reach his ribs. His laughter soon filled the air and he was a writhing, giggling mess under her. Her eyes glittered with joy at the sound of his laughter. He was so ticklish! This was something she would use in the future…

Her hands stilled as she glanced over towards the pond. A gasp of wonder escaping her. Her hand flying to her lips as she saw a star shoot across the sky.

Laindawar wheezed as he caught his breath. His face was red from the force of his laughter. Reaching up he started to run his hands up her side to try and get her back.

“Laindawar look!” she whispered. Excitement in her voice. He followed her gaze. His blue eyes widening as he saw the stars shoot across the sky.

He laid there watching them for a while before he found that his gaze wandered over to her.

He couldn’t help but smile a softening gracing his features as he saw the excitement in her eyes. She was so vivid and emotional. A bright spot in the world that had for so long been tainted with darkness. She wasn’t afraid to love, and learn, and above all she was true to herself. She was vivacious and full of life and he-

Shaking his head he looked back out at the sky.

“Have you ever seen anything like this before Trethril?” he asked his voice soft. He wanted to change the course of his thoughts and he knew the best way was to engage her in conversation.

“A few times.” she answered. Her voice soft and filled with her wonder. “I was very small when I saw it the first time. My father took me out to show me the stars as they were flung from sky.”

Her voice broke and she looked away from the shower. Looking down at Laindawar she managed to smile. Her eyes filled with tears. “It is one of my favorite memories of my father.”

Laindawar was unsure with how to comfort her. But, he decided, it would be best for her to talk to him about herself. She rarely spoke about herself. Instead she spent her days

Wiggling out from under her he sat up next to her. So now at least he could look her in the eye. “Tell me about your family Baralineth.” he stated. Not giving her an once of room to change the subject.

Blinking she looked over at him. “You are quite the dictator you know that Laindawar?”

Tears filled her eyes as her mind turned towards the bittersweet memories of her family. She had not talked to anyone about her family in many years. She had not even seen them in an age. Where they even alive?

A voice told her she would find out soon. They would have to pass through the Hisildi stronghold of Celeblas in the Tinnutaur.

Yet, sensing he was not meaning to be so demanding she nodded and laid down. Resting her head on the ground next to his legs.

Gazing up at the night sky she felt her eyes turn towards her favorite constellations.  The stars were twinkling with their beautiful light above them.

“To begin my father was a great Hisildi. His name was Noruinvion and he was tall and dark. It has been said that I have inherited his smile and eyes.” she admitted with a wistful smile. Images of her father laughing and holding her, her siblings, and her mother filled her head. She swore at times she could smell his warm musk if the night was clear. If their was one person she missed most it was her father, her namesake.

“He met my mother when she was appointed to be the  ambassador for the Kalondi. Her name as a maiden of her father’s house was Norgalades. She was fierce and fiery but she was unbreakable in her steadfastness. So much so that my father, even before he wedded her called her Thalawesbes and to this day that is the name she goes by.” Smiling she reached out and took a lock of Laindawar’s hair. Twirling it around her fingers. Soothing herself with it’s texture and the fact she was keeping her hands busy.

Then Muil continued, “They were happy for an age. But, as much as they longed for it a child would not come easily for them. Many times she felt a child take root but…well…some things are not meant to be.“ She looked up at Laindawar, her eyes gleaming. His jaw was set and the muscles there taunt. She fought the urge to run her fingers over them. To urge him to relax. She resisted this though. Instead, she continued her story. “But then, my mother was not feeling well. I have been told that she grew most joyous as she realized that I was strong enough to endure.”

“And beyond.” Laindawar mused as he gazed down at her. Relishing in secret that happy, joyful look in her eyes as she talked of her family.

“And beyond.” She agreed. Her gaze meeting his filling her with warmth. “My little sisters came twenty-five years later. Imagine the surprise when my mother gave birth to twins! She who had endeavored for so hard and so long to bring one child into the world was now blessed with three! When I was older my mother confided in me she knew she carried twins. But, she wanted to suprise my father and she was scared that this pregnancy wouldn’t end well.“

Shaking her head as if to ward of a memory she turned her focus. "My sister’s names are Gilrin and Tinnuien. And oh, they were the pride of my life. I helped bring them into this world.” she admitted with a grimace. “I was twenty-five and my mother and I were walking in the woods and boom. They decided to come early. They have always been impetuous.”

“My little brother was much the same. He was such a shock.”  Laindawar admitted.

“You have a sibling?” she asked incredulously. Her voice filled with wonder. "I cannot imagine a world with more people who act like you.”

“I have two. They are named Laerophen and Legolas.”

“Do they act anything like you?” she asked.

“Are you trying to insult me?” he demanded to know. Stiffening as he prepared himself for a verbal bout.

“Never.” she answered, a lazy smile gracing her lips. “I am simply curious to know about your family as well.”

“I will tell you about them later.” he finally acquiesced, relaxing once again.

Nodding Muil started to lazily braid his hair. She scooted up so she could rest her head on his lap.

“Have you any niblings?” she asked. Curiosity about his family filling her. “What of your mother and father since you will not tell me yet of your brothers.“

“I have a brother-in-law if that counts.” Laindawar muttered. “His name is Gimli.”

“That is not an Eldar name is it?” she inquired.

“No. He married a dwarf.” Laindawar stated, his eyes hardening as he gazed down at her. Waiting to see how she would react.

“Amazing.” she whispered in disbelief.

“You are disgusted?” he demanded to know. Worried that she meant something sinister by her comment as her face was unreadable.

“Why would I be? For me race means little. I mean, think about it Pigenor. I am raising an orc..” she answered. Her fingers moving  soothingly over his hair. "Meluiwen is the child of my heart. I was there from the beginning with her. Why would your brother marrying a dwarf bother me in the least? Use that mind Pigenor.” she teased.

“You must tell me that tale sometime.” Laindawar stated as he decided to ignore that poke at his pride.

“I will Pigenor. But you must also tell me of your parents sometime. I am insatiable to know more about your people.”

With a slow hand he started to smooth her hair. He nodded once as he brushed her long hair out of her face. “That seems fair.”

“Indeed.”  She answered. Then she buried her hands again in his hair. A gentle tug and she pulled him down to her. Her eyes closing as she kissed him. Her lips quivering as the fear of rejection flowed through her. She was joyful at the same time that she had found someone to talk to. This had come to show itself in her desire to kiss him. And being as impetuous as her sisters she had done just that.

Before he could react he heard Meluiwen. She was calling for Muil and, of course Muil was up and walking back towards the camp. Yet she did stop once. Turning to look at him she smiled.

“Come on Pigenor.” she called.

When the elves returned to camp Kara didn’t even have to glance over at Jeri to know they were smiling ear to ear. How by Mahal did they know what was going on between those two?

Reaching into her worn, leather coin purse she withdrew ten gold coins. Walking over to Jeri she slapped the coins down into their outstretched hand.

“Why are there stwicks and leaves in yoo hair Mommee?” Meluiwen asked.

“I fell dear.” Muil answered gently.

“Zhen why is there stwicks and weaves in ‘Aindywar’s hair?”

“He was the cause of the fall so I took him down with me.” she answered with a bright smile.

Laughter caused Muil to look up. Her eyebrow raised as she looked at Jeri who was cackling with laughter.

“What is so funny Master Jeri?” she asked, her eyebrow quirking with confusing. “Did I say something?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Jeri quickly answered. Wiping the tears of mirth from their eyes.

Shrugging Muil carefully picked up Meluiwen and smiled. “You, my dear, need a bath.”

“So you do to Mommee!” she answered. Hugging her mommy tightly. “And so does ‘Aindywar!” she retorted as she pointed at the elf who was staring at Jeri with a gaze that could have killed.

Jeri was still smiling.

“You are going to have to talk to me later about this development ‘Aindywar’” Jeri stated as they caught their breath.

“You can go fuck a cantankerous goat.” Laindawar shot out.

Thankfully at that point Meluiwen was out of earshot. Still, Muil would have to have a serious discussion with them later about what was appropriate to say in front of a child.

Kalondi – Another people of the Avari. They live near Harad and the South. They are deeply in love with the desert and all it’s dangerous beauty.
Tinnutaur – The great forest where the Hisildi live. It means Star Forest. It was named thus as it is a jungle. The floor has bio-luminescent plants that make it look like  there are stars in it. It is considered quite lovely by many of the Avari. It is the childhood home of Muil and it is massive.
Celeblas – The Capital of the Hisildi realm. This was not the original capital as that was laid under siege by Sauron. He gutted the Hisildi by attacking them there and weakened them. Now there are so few of Hisildi left.

@determamfidd 

AHHH A KISS! A KISS! SMOOCHIES! WHAAAAA!

Omfg Jeri you troll, don’t be a jealous dumpling, you will get kisses baby

I LOVE LAINDWAR GETTING DEFENSIVE OVER GIMLI, THAT GAVE ME 9000 YEARS OF LIFE AND AN EPIC, EPIC BOUT OF HAPPY CHAIR DANCING

holy shit Muil asking about Laindawar’s family! She’d be so ??? about how different they are – she would probably love spending time with Legolas, Mr Laughs-And-Sings-Constantly himself, heheh (Laerophen would be HIDING FOREVER though bc he is a shy easily-alarmed giraffe with a pompous shell)

Let’s hear it for lurkers

laylainalaska:

shehasathree:

i-should-be-writing:

roachpatrol:

laylainalaska:

So apparently round umpty-zillion of “people are killing fandom by not commenting” is going around, and I’ve seen a few posts trashing people for lurking/viewing/reading instead of actively participating.

My journal and my fic has always been a lurker-friendly zone. I think lurkers are great and people can fight me on this. Here’s why:

We all started out as lurkers. Or at least most of us did. Come on. I’m sure some people out there must’ve jumped into fandom with both feet and started writing and commenting right away, and good for you if you did! But I sure didn’t. I lurked for YEARS. And even now, though I’ve been in fandom since before Y2K, whenever I get into a new fandom or a new social media platform, I still lurk. I hang out around the fringes for awhile to get a feeling for the place before starting to participate. Back in the mailing list/bulletin board days, it was usually recommended that people do that on purpose, watch and listen and learn the local lingo and social rules before diving in. So you know what? You are not doing anything wrong and you are not doing anything that most of the people you see out there commenting and creating and reccing things haven’t done themselves.

We all have lurker days, weeks, months …. Nobody is 100% “on” all the time. Participating in fandom (commenting, reccing, creating content, and so forth) is WORK. It may be fun work, but it still takes effort! Even if you’re sometimes very active in fandom, then you’ll have life fall on your head or the brain weasels flare up, and you won’t have the time and energy to give. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to give fandom your extra spoons. No one in fandom has a right to demand a single spoon from you that you don’t want to give.

Some of today’s lurkers may be your friends tomorrow. How do I know this? Because I’ve made friends with some of them myself! I’ve had people delurk in my comments to say hi after YEARS of reading my fanfic without saying a word. Which I am totally okay with, by the way. And some of these people are good friends today.

So, in conclusion:

  • It is okay to feel too shy to come out of lurkerhood in fandom until you feel more comfortable there. It is fine, in fact, if you never do.
  • It is okay to be too busy and have too few spoons to comment or create stuff. You still have a perfect right to be in fandom and read and reblog whatever you want.
  • It is okay if you meant to comment on that fic or go back and press the kudos button but never got around to it.
  • It is okay if you have too many accounts already and don’t want to create a new one just to comment/participate on a social media platform. 
  • It is okay if your personal situation (a stalker ex, controlling parents) makes it unsafe for you to create an account or comment on things.
  • It is okay if you can’t or don’t want to comment or do any of the other things that constitute non-lurkerhood, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why.
  • IT IS OKAY TO BE A LURKER.

yeah, i never thought about it, but it’s not good to make someone who’s shy or depressed or uncomfortable to feel like a parasite. fandom content is made to entertain, so if you’re showing up and enjoying stuff, that’s great. 

Let’s frame it this way:

Creator manufactures product.  This requires their personal touch, experience, skill set, and any training, all of which have taken the entirety of their lives to cultivate.  This also requires the time it takes to produce the work, from concept to finished product.  This also requires resources, which was probably a monetary investment into digital software or physical tools that must be replaced as used.  It requires a workspace.  It also includes labor, the physical act of doing these things, which depletes the mental and physical energy of the creator/laborer.

Creator offers product to public in exchange for compensation.  This requires modifying their marketing technique to suit the platform(s)/stores it’s offered on/in.  This requires modifying/formatting the product so that it is suitable for the platform(s)/stores.  Creator must also generate advertising and archival information for the work so that it may be found by their audience.  Creator must also select a platform suitable for transferring the product in exchange for the requested compensation.

Creator, once the product is out there, would like to work on more products.  They like the idea of making the products and putting them into the world for consumer happiness, but they also need compensation because that is how they pay for the cost of the product: the labor, the resources, the manufacturing process, all that marketing—everything.  They just need to get in touch with the consumer(s) to know what improvements could be made, or if their product was worth using resources, time, and skilled labor on in the first place.  Compensation talks.  If no one is buying, then that’s a surefire sign that no one wants your product and that you should stop selling it.

Now, you’d think that if a creator offers their product on a platform that allows them to ask for feedback (reviews/comments, shares, likes/kudos, etc.), that the exchange would be as follows: consumer consumes art in return for at least one or more forms of feedback, which can take anywhere from 1 second (kudos, like) to several minutes (comment) to make.

Creators aren’t mad because people are sampling their product, peeking in their storefront window, and just not digging it.  They aren’t mad that someone got a sample of that awesome treat today, and vowed to come back the next day to make a full purchase.  They’re not mad at the people who aren’t able to come in because of social anxiety, or because someone who hurts them is watching.  They’re not mad at a bad day—they get bad days too, and know what it’s like to be in the red for spoons (as well as time, resources, labor, and actual money spent on providing resources/work space).

Creators are mad that people are coming into their store, unwrapping all the candy, eating it, and then leaving without so much as a wave hello or goodbye.  They won’t even tell their friends where the store is.  Creators are mad that customers are demanding more products without paying for the first one.  They are mad that customers aren’t caring about store policy.

This would never fly with a commercial product.  But yet it’s societally okay to do with art, particularly in fandom.  Why is that?  Because we don’t actually believe that art is work, or that artists have time and skills that are valuable.

Creators and consumers are just not speaking the same language.  So maybe the above helps to illustrate why we’re so damn pissed and why we’re closing all our shops.

Hmm. Yes. I don’t think that lurking necessarily entails entitlement, though.

Oh god. I sat down to write an answer to this and wrote … a lot. 

First of all, I’m a fanfic writer, artist, and vidder. I LOVE getting feedback on my work. I roll around in comments and nice tags like a cat in a field of catnip, believe me. People who leave feedback on my fic are awesome. <33333 So bear in mind as you read the following that I’m coming at this from a creator’s perspective. And, as a creative person, I agree that not putting enough value on creative work is a problem, societally speaking.

However.

The first problem I have with the above metaphor is that there are no physical goods involved here! There is an infinite amount of candy. There are no candy wrappers. Nothing is taken and no trash is left behind when someone reads a fic. An infinite number of people can still read the fic. No one else’s ability to read the fic is impaired.

But here’s the other, much bigger problem, and it’s what the rest of this tl;dr post is devoted to unpacking: blaming your customers for your lack of success will not make you a successful businessperson.

As well as writing fanfic, I’m also – as of the last couple of years – a pro writer; it’s what I do for a living now. Fanfic isn’t entirely like pro writing, but it does have some things in common with it, so since we’re talking about fanfic as a commodity, let’s run with that metaphor. Fanfic is “paid for” in comments and kudos; my pro novels are paid for with … well … money. So let’s say my books aren’t selling (i.e. your fic isn’t getting comments). There are many reasons why this could be! Now, it’s possible that my books aren’t very good. But let’s assume that’s not true. Let’s say that my books are excellent but they just aren’t being purchased. Why not? Here are some possibilities (and believe me, as a self-published author who makes a living off my work, I think about these things ALL THE TIME):

  • I’m marketing them poorly or inaccurately. Maybe my blurbs sound dull so people don’t go ahead and click to read the sample (which they will love, I just know it!). Maybe my romance books have covers and titles that make them look like suspense novels. Maybe I have them in the wrong categories. I need to look at other, more popular books similar to mine, and see what their authors are doing to advertise their books to readers, which is obviously working better than what I’m doing.
  • My books just aren’t very commercial. I’m writing lovely books that make my heart sing, but they’re not the genres and tropes that are selling well right now. In fanfic terms, this would be writing for the little fandom of your heart or the rarepair rather than the juggernaut pairing, or you just love writing sad love stories more than happy love stories. I can either train myself to write the popular genres and tropes, or I can resign myself to being less popular in return for the pleasure I get from writing books that satisfy me. (Both are equally valid solutions.)

You know what’s not going to help me sell more books? Blaming and shaming my readers for not buying them. They have a limited amount of money. They’re going to spend it on the books that look shiniest to them. A lot of people will NEVER buy my books, or anyone’s books, because they just don’t have the money. The rest must be enticed to do so. Yelling at these readers will not magically give them more money or miraculously endow them with a fondness for paranormal romance novels when they only read mysteries.

You can’t turn lurkers into commenters by trying to extort comments from them with guilt trips and threats to take your fic away, any more than you can turn non-buyers into book buyers by trying to guilt and shame them into buying your books. Fandom, take it from someone who markets her books for a living: that is a terrible marketing strategy.

Just as pro writers are trying to entice readers who have money into buying our books, you are trying to entice commenters into commenting on your fic. A lot of people will never comment for all the reasons in my above post. You cannot MAKE them comment. Instead, you have to get people who DO comment (who range from the people who comment on almost everything, to the people who can be enticed to comment once in a blue moon by a fic they simply ADORE) to spend their limited amount of commenting/reccing/kudosing time and energy on your fic by giving them a product they just can’t resist.

I could devote a whole ‘nother post to how to apply profic marketing strategies to making your fic more successful, should you want to. It’s not very fair, but it’s as true in fanfic as it is in publishing: the way you get more commenters is by expanding your audience (if only 1% of people comment, 1% of 10,000 people is a lot more than 1% of 100 people) and you do this by writing more popular fic. This means: writing popular tropes, writing popular fandoms, writing popular pairings. If you’d rather write the little pairing of your heart or break up every couple at the end of the fic because it feels right, that’s FINE! But it means that a mediocre 500-word curtainfic about the juggernaut big fandom pairing is going to get WAY more comments than your heartfelt 100K small fandom deathfic. Don’t blame your readers when you made that choice.

(I should mention that usually with fanfic, I just write the fics of my heart, whereas in profic I’m going for the crass commerciality. I really, truly love gen h/c, so I write a lot of it. I do not like writing erotica, so I rarely write it. If you like darkfic, you’ve got a tougher row to hoe than someone who writes curtainfic, because the audience is comparatively small, so you might have to work a little harder to find your niche. I realize this is unfair, but there’s not much you can do about it. If your readers want PWP instead of gen, you can either learn to write PWP, or write the best gen you can possibly write and cherish the comments you do get. Your readers are not withholding comments on your gen because they’re mean or lazy, I swear. It’s just that the audience for gen is more limited than the audience for, say, sexy slash.)

There’s also a huge element of chance to all of this. There is an awesome post by Penknife on LJ that calls this random element THE CLAW (from the movie Toy Story). I suggest reading the whole post because it’s excellent, but here’s Penknife’s basic description of the Claw concept as applied to fanfic:

See all the competently-written, nicely-formatted stories that a reasonable number of people have read, waiting in the big vending machine with all the other stories, looking hopefully upwards, waiting for the claw to descend and choose them? (It’s possible that this metaphor works less well if you’ve never seen Toy Story, but bear with me.) Every now and then the claw scoops up one of them, and it is this week’s Story that Ate Fandom, and it will be on twenty-six recs lists and get several hundred comments in a week.

And whether that is your story or not, you will never know why. The ways of the Claw are mysterious. The Claw usually picks good stories, but it doesn’t always pick the best story in any literary sense. It picks the story that is exactly what people want to read right now. Maybe it is a story that has actually never been done before in your fandom. Maybe it is a story that makes everyone who reads it feel good and leaves them in a warm fuzzy place full of love for your story and the world. Maybe it is about penguins, and right now what everyone really wants is penguins.

This happens in profic publishing all the time, by the way. Everyone wants to be grabbed by THE CLAW, and you can spend thousands of dollars on seminars and books to teach you how to get THE CLAW to grab your books, but what it comes right down to is, it will or it won’t. You cannot make THE CLAW grab your book, or your fic. However, you can make it more likely by honing your skills and, to be blunt, writing an absolute shit ton of fic.

I have actually had THE CLAW grab one of my fics. This happened to me in MCU fandom with the very first Captain America fic I ever wrote. It’s not my best fic, not my favorite fic, possibly not even a very good fic. However, I walked out of the theater after seeing Winter Soldier desperately wanting Steve/Bucky reunion fic. So I slammed one out and posted it. It turned out to be one of the first ones, in a pairing that turned into a juggernaut overnight, and the kudos on that fic went off the charts. It’s still my most-kudosed fic by far.

But before that, I wrote literally MILLIONS OF WORDS of fanfic in dozens of fandoms over the course of 15 years. I worked my ass off writing fanfic. Some of my fic was pretty popular. Some of it got zero comments, not even one. I wrote in popular fandoms. I wrote in fandoms so small I had to create the fandom tag on AO3. I wrote long WIPs and worked hard to update on time. I asked for prompts and wrote ficlets for people. I participated in fic exchanges. I ran exchanges. Basically I have spent 15+ years fandoming my little heart out.

And I could not have ever had THE CLAW grab that fic if I hadn’t written those millions of words, sometimes for very little reward other than the sheer pleasure of writing, because a) all that practice is how I got to the point where I could walk out of the theater, sit down, slam out 5K of competently feelsy fic, pick an attention-grabbing title, and (by total accident) put up a fic just in time for the movie-going masses to come looking for it, and b) the more fic you throw out there into the world, the more likely it’ll be that you actually will manage to hit pay dirt.

And I still got lucky, I know. There is also a negative version of THE CLAW. You are not guaranteed success, in fandom or in profic writing. You can do literally everything “right.” You can write the popular fandoms and pairings and tropes. You can type until your fingers hurt. You can put up fic after fic on AO3 and become a damn good writer and still never achieve even modest success.

This is not fair. I hate seeing friends fail to achieve the success I know they deserve. But inexplicable lack of success happens to just as many people as inexplicable success does.

Guys, fanfic and profic will both break your heart sometimes. There is no question about it; they just will. You’ll pour your heart and soul into a story only to watch it sink like a stone. You’ll write the best damn fic you can write and then watch someone else’s fic, that does ALL THE SAME THINGS, get recced everywhere while people ignore yours. You’ll read a fic that is absolutely perfect, that makes your heart sing, and the only comment on it will be yours. There is no “if” about this, only “when.”

This is not your readers’ fault. This is not your fault. And blaming your readers for being inadequately appreciative will not make you more successful.