Even though he was grumpy and lost in the Shire on the way to find his Burglar’s door, Thorin stopped to help some fauntlings who got stuck in a tree. The fauntlings are enraptured with their dwarfly savior. Their parents are terrified. Bilbo never finds out.

“Help! HELP!”

Thorin (who had been turning the map around in his hands for the third time – was that the arrow that meant north? or was it a poorly-drawn road?) looked up at the sound of the cry. It was a small voice, and very frightened… and it was coming from somewhere roughly over his head.

“Please!” came the next word, and the terrified little quaver in that little voice spurred something instinctual in Thorin. This was a child’s voice, and it reached right down into his bones and caused him to move, even before he was aware of it.

“Where are you?” he said, spinning around upon the spot. The little copse was fairly isolated, and he had no idea how he had ended up there when he had meant to go to the Hobbit town. Unfortunately, this meant that the child could have been calling for hours without aid. So for once Thorin did not curse his own unreliable surface-direction. “Call out again!”

“I’m here, I’m up here!” cried the little one, and a small hand waved from one of the trees. “Please get me down, please! May left ever so long ago, she was meant to find me but she didn’t and now I’m stuck!”

“Stay where you are, and don’t wriggle about!” Thorin commanded, and he slung off his pack and cloak, throwing his sword onto the map to stop it blowing away. “I’ll climb up and get you. You must stay safe in the meanwhile, and not fall out. Can you tell me about your friend May as I climb?” There, that should keep the little one’s mind on something else rather than panicking blindly.

The child audibly swallowed a sob. Brave little thing. “Ummm May is older than me, and she has three brothers…”

“Aye?” Thorin grasped a handhold and began to haul himself into the tree. “And what are their names?”

“A-andwise,” the child sniffled. Thorin could hear them beginning to calm down as he drew nearer. “H-h-hamfast… and H-halfred.”

Shirelings had ridiculous names, thought Thorin privately, amused, and he reached for the next bough as a pair of small furred feet drew into view. “Are they all your friends?”

“Hamfast is, he’s nice, but Andwise takes everyone’s mushrooms because he is the biggest,” said the child, and then there came a gasp. “You’re a Dwarf!”

Thorin, aware of the twig-scratches and dirt in his beard and the leaves itching in his hair, gave the child a tight smile. Bracing himself between the tree-trunk and a branch, he inclined his head briefly. “At your service. Now, sling your arms around my neck. Quickly now!”

This close, he could see her wide brown eyes grow even wider with trepidation. He took a breath and gentled his voice as much as he could. This was a hobbit-child, not a Dwarfling, after all. “Come now. I shall not harm you, young one. You are as safe with me as you are in your mother’s arms. My name is Thorin. What is your name?”

“Bell,” came the faltering reply, “I’m Bell Goodchild.”

“A beautiful name,” said Thorin, and he gave them a smile.

Slowly and tremulously, the child smiled back.

“And are you a girlchild or boychild?” 

“M’a girl,” she said, and stared at his beard for a long moment, before she met his eyes again. “I want to go home,” she nearly whispered. 

Me too, child. Me too. “We will get you down from here, Bell, and you will go home. But you must be brave,” Thorin said, as softly as he could. “Reach out and touch my shoulder. There, now. Not so hard.”

Her little fingers patted at the leather and fur of his greatcoat, and he nodded his head. “Keep your balance, but see if you can reach around to my neck. I would carry you, but I fear I will need both my hands to get us down from here.”

She cautiously slid her tiny hand around, and then he felt the birdlike skittering pressure of little fingers at his neck. “Your hair is funny,” she said, with the blunt amazement of all children.

“Ah, that is as Dwarf-hair should be, Miss Goodchild. It will not bite you, my word of honour upon it!”

She giggled a little damply, and then slid her other tiny arm around his neck. “You talk funny.”

Small arms clasped around his neck and a wriggly little body laid trustingly against his own woke memories of Fili and Kili that Thorin had long treasured, and he leaned his cheek against Bell’s soft curly head for a snap second, revisiting those days. Ah, but Bell was tinier than Fili or Kili had ever been, and her hair was as soft and curly as combed floss. “Hold on tightly now, and shift your weight onto me,” he directed her, and she clutched frantically at him as she slid from her branch and into his arms. “Good. Now, don’t let go and don’t look down! We shall be upon the ground before you know it.”

She pressed her face into his furs, and nodded. 

Thorin began to climb down again. His arms were shaking from being suspended from branches for so long, the muscles beginning to knot. He ignored it and focused on carefully placing his hands and feet, trying not to jostle the child.

At last he was able to drop the last few feet onto the leaf-litter beneath the copse, and Bell sucked in a huge breath and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, thank you Mr. Thorin,” she sobbed, and he patted her back carefully. She was utterly tiny: his hands could span all the way around her little ribs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Shhh, there now,” he soothed, and brushed back her hair with his palm. “Do you need to let it out and cry?”

She did seem rather tearful still, but she shook her head nevertheless. “It’s getting so dark, I just want t’ go home,” she said, and sniffled some more. “Can you come too?”

Thorin set her on the ground, and patted her curly head. “I am afraid I have a pressing matter to attend to, otherwise I should have loved to dine with you and your family.”

She sighed. “Oh. But I want t’ do something to say thank you. Mama says it is a nice thing to do.”

Suddenly, the map thrown aside on the ground caught the corner of Thorin’s eye. He cleared his throat. “Actually, there is one thing…”

Do you have any favorite AU Gigolas fics that are some kind of AU other than “modern AU”? Just curious what’s out there that you like/recommend

DO I EVER

so, these are all PREDOMINANTLY Gigolas, where Gigolas is the main pairing (or has lots of development and focus) and not a background pairing! 

Obviously there are some WIPS out there which would eventually make this list, but as Gigolas hasn’t made a real impact in those fics yet I wouldn’t want to rec them here and mislead you, Nonnie. 

*smooch* Enjoy!


Comes Around Again (Teen) by Scarletjedi (WIP)
Gimli closes his eyes, an old Dwarf on the brink of death in the home he had built with his husband in the Undying Lands, and opens them again as a young Dwarf in his childhood home in Ered Luin. He’s returned to the tumultuous week before The Company set out to recruit their Burglar from his cosy hobbit hole. Gimli, once again a impetuous teen in the eyes of his family, must get into that Company–the lives of his loved ones, and the very fate of Middle Earth–depends on it. I cannot rec this fic highly enough. No really. It is AMAZING. Time-travel AU.

Northern Babylon by icarus_chained (Gen) (one-shot, complete)
After four years fighting the war in the south, Gimli and Legolas have come back to their home city of New Rhovanion changed, and perhaps for the better. Gimli tries to make Elven Councillor Thranduil understand this, and understand that maybe there’s hope for more than just Gimli and Legolas as well. Incredible worldbuilding, AMAZING one-shot. Steampunk AU. 

Knowledge and Light (teen) by Flamebyrd
He knew leaving his home and going to university would change him. He didn’t realise what that meant. 1930’s University/alternate world AU

Nothing Doth Fade (but Suffers a Sea-Change) (Teen) by notanightlight (Gigolas)
Gimli has always heard stories about the seals that lived near the cliffs of Castle Durin. “They aren’t what they seem,” they’d tell him. Gimli never knew what to think of those stories, until the night he met a stranger on the shore, with the sea in his eyes and moonlight on his skin. Selkie Modern AU 

*Impartial Judge (Explicit) by bigmamag (Gigolas, Kiliel, Bagginshield)
The Triwizard Tournament brings Europe’s three largest wizarding schools together for the competition of a lifetime. Gimli had only planned to tag along as Krum’s entourage, but is unexpectedly chosen as Durmstrang’s champion. When the son of Thranduil is chosen as Beauxbatons’ champion, Gimli seeks a way to bring him down a peg or two, but unexpectedly finds something completely different. This fic is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. It is easily one of my top five AUs ever written, I FUCKING ADORE IT. Harry Potter AU 

The Pirates of Erebor (Explicit) by mckittericks
The pirates of Erebor have long troubled the isle of Greenwood, but when they kidnap an elven lady for ransom, they don’t get exactly what, or rather who, they bargained for. Pirates AU 

Purring Cat, Hidden Hamster by alkjira (Teen)
This started out as the story about Hamster!Bilbo and Cat!Thorin meeting when they both ended up living with Ori.
Then there were cathamsters: “I’m not going to go to a vet and somehow put myself in a situation where I have to explain that I think my male cat got my male hamster pregnant.”
Some time after that we were joined by Guinea pig!Gimli, Cockatiel!Legolas, and others.
Then there were guineatiels: ‘Kíli stared down at the eggs. Eggs. EGGS. Tiny smooth things that shouldn’t really exist. Well, not these eggs anyway.’ Pure crack, giggles aplenty, Animal AU

Sapphires Set in Diamond (General Audiences) by deborah_judge 
Dwarf women are not beautiful. Fem!Gimli AU 

Emerald Leaves, Sapphire Stars by Lumelle (Gen)
When Legolas wakes in the Arda Remade, everything is fresh and green. Even so, he cannot be at peace until he has found his star. Fortunately, Mahal’s promise to his children stays true. Post Dagor Dagorath AU

An Unlikely Bond by Frodo_sHeart (Teen)

This is the story of Legolas, an Elf who has never found his fated Guide, and who dares to go on a quest as an unbonded Sentinel with companions of three other races who don’t have Guides and Sentinels. Or do they? Legolas finds himself increasingly confused about his reactions to the proximity of one red-headed Dwarf. Sentinel/Guide AU

The Water of Oblivion by And_Dream_Of_Erebor (gen)

On their way home from their quest, Legolas and Gimli fall into the same stream Bombur had fallen into in The Hobbit. Losing all memory of the quest and of one another, they assume that they are enemies. Amnesia AU

The Long Way Around by hope91 (Teen)

Centuries after passing on to the dwarven Halls of Waiting, Gimli is tasked with one final quest in the Undying Lands – escorting a lingering mortal spirit to his immortal Love, in the hope that amends can be made and both can find closure and peace. Along the way, Gimli is reminded of the finality of separation from his dearest friend – and eventually realizes he can deny his heart no longer. Afterlife AU

On the Origin of Half-Elves by Lumelle (Gen, WIP)
Legolas has found his mate, but that doesn’t always guarantee happiness. Especially not when his dwarf still holds a grudge over old insults. Of course, even when they start to get along, things aren’t necessarily easy when rumours from the Misty Mountains make Legolas ride out to look for his lost brother… and ends up with a party of dwarves following him, because you can’t ever have just one dwarf. Now if only he can get through the adventure without any angry relatives taking an axe to his vulnerable parts. Soulmate AU

Love Always, Yours Forever by butterflyslinky (Teen)

Tauriel, Fili and Kili pull a prank on Gimli and Legolas, who respond in kind. Things go a little too far. Fake dating/relationship AU

The Matchmaker’s Ball by purpleeyesandbowties (teen)

In the beginning, the Valar saw that their children were spread too far and wide. So far apart and so absorbed with their own lives, the children of the Valar could not find their Ones, those whom they were created to be with. So the Valar created the Matchmaker’s Ball. One week a year, in the height of summer, a celebration is held. Anyone from any kingdom is invited to attend, from age thirteen to age thirty, with the goal of finding their One. It’s a week of chance, love, and fate. For Legolas, it might be a way out of the future his father set for him. In his final year of the Matchmaker’s Ball, it becomes all the more important that Legolas finds his One. If he doesn’t, he will be forced to wed against his will in the name of continuing the family line. And he’ll be damned if he lets that happen. Soulmate AU

Herding Cats by notanightlight (Gen)

Gimli was ready for the big shows. He was going to become a Champion of Distinction just like his Dad! The only issue might be bad judges, drama at home, and a slinky golden cat that Gimli can’t forget. Being a show cat is harder work than it looks! GIMLI IS A BIG GINGER-RED PERSIAN OWNED BY THORIN, LEGOLAS IS AN ABYSSINIAN AND TAURIEL IS A KITTEN okay i really like cats. Showcat AU

Second Chances by Lumelle (Gen)
When Legolas enters a small jewelry store completely by chance, he doesn’t expect anything significant to happen. He certainly doesn’t expect to encounter someone he hadn’t even realized he had lost. Gimli, on the other hand, is rather determined to hold onto his newfound happiness, and will not let anything bring him down. Reincarnation AU 

And Our Souls Brushed by notanightlight (Gen, WIP)
Gimli and Legolas never really got off on the right foot. Neither did their daemons. Daemon AU

Wild Hunt by Snow_Glows_Blue (Not rated)
There’s a knock on the door. It isn’t quite dusk; it isn’t too dangerous yet. But still, it’s late to be out on Midwinter’s Night. What if he was held up somewhere? Legolas takes a nail with him when he opens the door. “Gimli. It’s late.” Medieval/Fae AU

Death of Lovers by jcrycolr3wradc (teen)

A biographer talks to Gimli about how he survived World War Z. Zombie AU

Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book by PazithiGallifreya (Teen)
The truth of Legolas & Gimli’s relationship comes out in Rivendell (along with something else equally surprising) Fem!Gimli AU

The Monstrous Fellowship by IchijouKenichiro (Teen)

Astrin’s cousins Fíli and Kíli left to fight the forces of Mordor over two years ago, but there’s been no word from them for the last six months. Being a woman of action and the one who always is there to get them out of trouble, Astrin disguises herself as the male warrior Gimli and joins the army to fight for them. But the regiment she joins is anything but typical. With troublesome hobbits, a religious fanatic, the undead, a golem, and even an elf, are the greatest dangers to come from her fellow man? And what secrets are they all holding onto? THIS FIC DESERVES SO MUCH MORE, it is such a great blending of the two universes!! Monstrous Regiment AU (aka fem!Gigolas/everything is ladies)


I wrote a couple of one-shot efforts myself as well, if you’d like to check em out too, Nonnie!

  • The Long Road (Teen, 6K) ancient!Legolas/post Dagor Dagorath AU 

Inside a Saltwater Room

snowglowsblue:

for @notanightlight

The aquarium has a new exhibit on mermaids.

It isn’t like Gimli’s never seen them before. But seeing a mermaid from a stadium away at SeaWorld is an entirely different experience from seeing one up close, and Gimli is only now fully appreciating just how beautiful they are.

There are five of them, three males and two females, in the aquarium tank. Kili is on the opposite side of the room, admiring the female with the red hair and the forest green tail, and Fili stayed behind to look at the sea otters; Gimli’s on his own. He’s following the motions of the two identical males with the black hair and pure white scales, watching how they spiral upward around another, never touching but always within an arm’s length.

And then, there is a knock on the glass, directly in front of Gimli.

He looks down again to see pale blue eyes peering out of the tank, golden hair swirling in the water around a face that is eerily beautiful.

The mermaid tilts his head, blinks twice, taps the glass again. Gimli’s lips quirk into a smile, and he taps the glass back. The mermaid smiles, so brightly he could almost be human, and shoots upward in a streak of sky blue and pale gold.

Gimli thinks he’s going to be visiting the aquarium more often now.

His next day off from work, Gimli goes back to the aquarium.

The mermaid exhibit is in the back, past the deep-sea waters and the tidepools, so it takes him a while to get there. He doesn’t really mind. Best for last and all that, right?

The blond mermaid seems less bright than he was a week ago, his movements slower. When he sees Gimli he still goes to the glass, but instead of tapping he lays his hand against it and stares out with wide eyes.

Gimli lays his hand over the mermaid’s and gazes back.

The third time Gimli visits the mermaids, it’s the abovewater portion of the tank that he goes to. There’s no glass here, nothing separating him from the blond mermaid.

He takes a few minutes to notice that Gimli’s there, which gives Gimli the chance to watch him – to see how tired he looks. They’re all like that, but the blond one shows it most.

Then he does notice, and he swims up to the surface to look at Gimli face-to-face.

He’s got violet half-moons stamped beneath his eyes; his arms and chest are mottled with bruises. It was hard to see through the water – everything seems blue-tinted – but it’s painfully clear now.

“What happened to you?” Giml whispers.

The mermaid doesn’t understand (of course he doesn’t, mermaids look humanoid but they can’t understand language any more than a dolphin would) but he looks so defeated that Gimli can’t help but feel for him.

Gimli reaches over the glass, not touching the mermaid’s skin but close enough that either of them could reach out. The mermaid does and –

– oh.

Gimli is flooded with memories that are not his(silken seawater on his skin even though he’s never been in the ocean, the type of coral reef part of hi had always thought didn’t exist outside of pictures) and a clear voice speaking in his ears: My name is Legolas.

My name is Gimli, he responds automatically.

Legolas is smiling so brightly that Gimli has to smile back; he seems far less tired now, and his eyes are glowing again. He sends across an image that Gimli does recognize – a red-haired man, taller than Gimli but not by much, holding an axe that is taller than either of them. It feels distinctly like a question.

Glóin, Gimli says. My father. Yours? It’s odd how few of Legolas’s memories feature other mermaids.

Legolas’s smile fades. Gimli wishes he hadn’t asked. Legolas takes a deep breath, lets it out, sends across another memory –

– scared alone so scared it’s too small i can’t breathe iT’S MOVING WHY IS IT MOVING –

– where’s ada where did they take him why did they take him i need him where is he where’s ada –

– alone and hurt and so so scared –

The memory fades and the terror fades with it. Gimli struggles to catch his breath.

Seaworld? he asks, and sends an image of the logo along with it. Legolas nods.

Gimli twines their fingers together. “i’ll get you out of here,” he promises, though Legolas won’t understand. “I swear to God, Legolas, I’ll get you out of here.”

Writer’s Meme

I got tagged by my dearest Miss Pop, @poplitealqueen. *hugs* Keep on poppin’!

Where do you publish your work? AO3, though I have some older stuff on FFN. I don’t post everything on AO3, because I want to keep a sort of departure between my early work and what I am writing now. Not that I am not proud of it and what I learned and accomplished back then! Only that I feel it’s not really indicative of my interests and my writing nowadays. 

What medium/application/etc. do you write in or with? Word, pretty much exclusively. I do save a lot of stuff in Google docs for editing purposes, though.

Do you collaborate with others? Uhhhh, I suppose! I have worked with artists and podficcers and musicians, obvs, but not another writer… I do a lot of headcanoning and world-building with other writers, though I’ve never co-written. Brainstorming is fun, but my time and productivity are not reliable, and I would hate to let anyone down. I tend to write in massive flooding bursts followed by long periods of AUGH.

How much editing do you do before you publish? MASSES. I mean it, before i publish a chapter or a work, I have done more editing than I can possibly describe. I edit as I go, I edit sections as I complete them, then I edit when i finish the work or chapter. Then I re-read it madly for hours, and edit again. Then I post it and probably catch one or two things once more and okay EDIT CHAPTER BUTTON HERE I COME

Do you listen to music when you write? Not really. I tend to want to focus on the music, rather than the scene I am writing or whatever. Music is very distracting to me, it wants all my attention.

How do you decide what to write about? Uuuuuuhhh, sometimes it’s a prompt, as with the Gigolas week stuff (Sansukh itself was a hobbitkink prompt). Sometimes it’s a moment that just leaps to mind, a missing piece or connection between characters that wants to be written… this was certainly the case with Yours Faithfully and Snowmelt (also I desperately wanted to write some boinkaboink, it had been agesssssss)

When do you write? Whenever the Dwarfling is asleep! Usually during her afternoon nap (around 1pm-3pm), or at night. I can’t stay up late anymore though. I used to do all my writing in the wee small hours but now I have to be up at the crack of dawn, so no more late nights for me.

How often do you write? Depends. On work-days I get nothing done. When I am home, it all depends on the Dwarfling and how she is doing that day. Sometimes my brain is borking, or my mojo is simply gone – as has been the case for a little while now. But it is on the rise again as I slowly gain back my confidence and energy.

It has to be fun, I guess is what I am saying. If I feel under pressure from constant “UPDATE NOW!!?!’ messages, or if I am told what and how to write, or if a bullshit review has made me feel like crawling under a rock because what is the point, then yeah, I won’t have anything in the tank and I won’t be forcing myself. But when I feel happy and invested and engaged in what I am doing, when I am writing for my own pleasure and interest (and when I have built enough confidence to say that others can stick their expectations up their jacksie) – ohhhhh, then! Then I can churn out 4-5K in one sitting, no worries. The whole world drops away and I am a part of the scene I am describing, whisked away into Middle-Earth or the MCU or whatever. Those are the best moments.

Do you take requests? Sometimes! On occasion an anon ask will spark a little drabble, or a prompt will fire my imagination. I have worked from a lot of kinkmeme prompts, and I keep a little list of ideas that have sparked an idea but I don’t have the wherewithal to deal with right at this time.

Is there any genre or type or story you want to write but are hesitant to? Uhhhh, I don’t know? I would try my hand at just about anything, I suppose, but YMMV.

Any inspirational quotes, videos, tricks, articles, etc. that help you stay motivated? 
Uhhh, sure! I like to read a lot, that always helps. I keep in mind the advice of much better writers than me. I like those little motivational posters, those are fun. Remember that deadlines are for professionals, and we do this for love not for money. 

Here is a great quote for those who feel that acclaim is the be-all and end-all:

All anybody needs to know about prizes is that Mozart never won one.- Henry Mitchell.

When it comes to asshole reviewers and those people who attack you and your writing and your efforts, here is a wonderful line from a very controversial lady:

I know that those who seek to hurt and humiliate me want to trap me in a prison of anger and resentment and there is no point in rewarding them with success.- Ayaan Ali Hirsi.

Aaaaand finally, here’s one of my favourite sections from one of my favourite authors in the multiverse. (GNU Terry Pratchett.) It perfectly captures how I feel about writing, and about stories… and about transformative fiction in general.

“All right,“ said Susan. "I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

“So we can believe the big ones?”

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather 


Okay, I have blabbed for long enough! I tag @yubiwamonogatari, @avelera, @notanightlight, @emilianadarling, @culumacilinte, @elenothar, @themarchrabbit, @alkjira, @bgtea, @linddzz, @mckittericks, @bigmamag, @bubbysbub, @bead-bead, @lisafer, and anyone else who would like to give it a shot! 🙂

LMAO what a thing to return to

I just got a rather awful anon ask from someone who says they have just gone through my blog and that I am ‘deluded and pathetic’ for a) shipping Gigolas, and b) liking the Iron Hills Dwarves, who are all racists and greedy.

As I have already said a hell of a lot about WHY I ship Gigolas (hahaha is 70 pages enough do you suppose) I am not even gonna go there. Ship-shaming is weak and stupid. As to the rest…well, rather than inflicting this negativity and nastiness upon all you nice people, I decided to simply block the troll, and then do something positive instead! 

So, here it is – 

SIX (ABRIDGED) REASONS WHY I LOVE THE IRON HILLS DWARVES

1. They are a settlement of refugees.

Right well, the Iron Hills have been mined by the Longbeards for centuries, but in actual fact the current settlement in the Iron Hills isn’t all that old. It was established in 2589 by the refugees of the Grey Mountains, who were fleeing a dragon (an ice-worm). They were led by Gror, Thror’s younger brother. 

(incidentally, the Dwarves of the Grey Mountains were themselves refugees, having fled to that place after Moria fell. And some significant part of Moria’s population were also refugees from the Broadbeam and Firebeard cities! SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES ALL SMOOSHED TOGETHER, SO MANY TIMES THE DWARVES HAD TO FLEE)

So at the exact same time when Thror went to re-establish Erebor (2589), his little bro was setting up shop (with the majority of the refugees) in the much MUCH poorer Iron Hills. 

After Smaug came to Erebor (2770), most of the survivors pour into the Iron Hills. Yes, they take the refugees in. We can only speculate as to why a small number of noble Dwarves wanted to move on to the Blue Mountains (pride, maybe?).

2. They keep going to the aid of others

Not even one generation passes before Thror is calling for them to uproot themselves and come to Khazad-dum (2799). They’re expected to throw their lives away after they’ve found some small measure of stability, all for a dangerous and orc- (and balrog, but nobody knew that at the time) infested place. 

They turn the tide of the War of Orcs and Dwarves. No really, they do. They die by the thousands (HALF the Dwarves died in that war!), they lose their leader, Gror’s son Nain, who is slaughtered on the steps of Khazad-dum. His son, the APPALLINGLY young Dain Ironfoot (32 years old) sees it all happen with his own eyes.

The survivors limp back home once again. Maybe this time they’ll get to stay.

Then in 2941 Thorin calls for aid at Erebor via raven, and off they go again. 

3. They are not wealthy.

Though the Hills are rich in Iron (and they stand at the natural junction for trade-routes between Rhun and the West), the Iron Hills never became as insanely, ridiculously, fabulously rich as their noble cousins. They’re miners first and foremost, and they seem to just stay out of drama and keep their heads down until some bugger calls them out to die (again). 

4. They’re sensible.

In the books, Thorin never petitions the Iron Hills to help him retake Erebor before the Quest. The first they ever hear of it is Thorin’s raven, requesting them to come fight two armies of Elves and Men. Yaaaay. 

It’s often not mentioned that the vast VAST majority of all Dwarves – including those in the Blue Mountains – also refuse to accompany Thorin. In fact, it’s strongly suggested that Thorin is making this journey a secret, to avoid alerting the same forces that thwarted his father (who disappeared doing the exact same thing, after all).

But leaving the movie-changes aside, it’s worth looking at this exchange from the LOTR appendices:

When at last the battle was won the Dwarves that were left gathered in Azanulbizar. They took the head of Azog and thrust into its mouth the purse of small money, and then they set it on a stake. But no feast nor song was there that night; for their dead were beyond the count of grief. Barely half of their number, it is said, could still stand or had hope of healing.
None the less in the morning Thrain stood before them. He had one eye blinded beyond cure, and he was halt with a leg-wound; but he said:
‘Good! We have the victory. Khazad-dum is ours!’
But they answered: ‘Durin’s Heir you may be, but even with one eye you should see clearer. We fought this war for vengeance, and vengeance we have taken. But it is not sweet. If this is victory, then our hands are too small to hold it.’
And those who were not of Durin’s Folk said also: ‘Khazad-dum was not our Fathers’ house. What is it to us, unless a hope of treasure? But now, if we must go without the rewards and the weregilds that are owed to us, the sooner we return to our own lands the better pleased we shall be.’
Then Thrain turned to Dain, and said: ‘But surely my own kin will not desert me?’ ‘No,’ said Dain. ‘You are the father of our Folk, and we have bled for you, and will again. But we will not enter Khazad-dum. You will not enter Khazad-dum. Only I have looked through the shadow of the Gate. Beyond the shadow it waits for you still: Durin’s Bane. The world must change and some other power than ours must come before Durin’s Folk walk again in Moria.’


So, it’s worth recalling that in this moment, Dain 

  • has just lost his father, killed in front of his eyes
  • Just slew Azog.
  • saw something terrible through the doors of Khazad-dum
  • Is speaking to his King. He just shut his KING DOWN. 
  • IS 32 YEARS OLD. THAT IS YOUNGER THAN I AM NOW. and he has more sense in his little toe than I do in my entire BODY.

5. They would be familiar with the people/s of Rhun

Check out the map. The Iron Hills are about as far East as you can get without being in Rhun already… in fact, they are closer to Rhun than they are to any point in Rhovanion. They’re the logical trade-route for anyone wishing to move between the Eastern nations and the West. I like to think that there is a huge and civil cultural exchange between the Iron Hills Dwarves and the Dwarves of the Orocarni, resulting in a melting-pot of customs and the flourishing of new ideas and music and art and technology. 

I mean, the Dwarves of the Iron Hills would have already been a cultural blend of Longbeard, Firebeard and Broadbeam (fyi: Firebeards and Broadbeams both assimilated into Longbeard society in Khazad-dum, after their own cities were destroyed in the War of Wrath) … but only in that one place in all the world could you commonly find Dwarves of all seven clans living and sharing and trading and marrying harmoniously. I like that idea. I like it a lot. 

this is also the reason why i cannot ever hc the Iron Hills Dwarves as racist.

6. They RIDE. PIGS. 

‘Nuff said. 


So thank you, dear nasty haternon.. I am now even more determined to love Iron Hills Dwarves, to love their darling fuzzy faces in spite of your clumsy attempt to get me all riled up 🙂 I am doubly inspired to write about their awesomeness and loyalty and loss in the face of such spite. Perhaps I shall write some more music! 

In conclusion, the Iron Hills for Me. 

(also also – Gigolas is the ship that literally sails itself into the West, so bleh to you with a cherry on top.)

Do you have any ideas about hobbit/lotr characters and fave Harry potter subjects? Like Sam and herbology.

Awww geez, I can try! Um. Again, only some of my own musings, please don’t think I am trying to stomp on what you (or anybody else!) thinks. 

Soooo. Here we go, I guess! (btw, I got the list of subjects from the wiki here!)

Tauriel: Astronomy. 

Galadriel: Divination.

Elrond: Study of Ancient Runes (I couldn’t help myself hahaha)

Oin: Potions (definitely takes Alchemy in later years)

Thorin: DADA

Balin: History of Magic.

Legolas: Herbology

Aragorn: DADA (though he also kicks butt in herbology, coming second only to Legolas)

Bilbo: Charms, the sneaky clever little thing (though an argument can be made for herbology here as well!)

Dwalin: DADA, Quidditch Captain.

Gloin: Arithmancy. Also head of the Duelling Club, probably.

Bifur: Muggle Studies, or perhaps COMC.

Bofur: Hmm. Probably COMC? Maybe Transfiguration. Not sure!

Bombur: TRANSFIGURATION without a doubt!

Fili: DADA. 

Kili: It used to be DADA as well, but he is slowly being persuaded over to Astronomy…

Nori: Charms, the sneaking sneaky mcsneakerson.

Ori: ALL THE SUBJECTS. 

Dori: Transfiguration – though Potions would also be up there, possibly. He does love his teas and wine and the like!

Gimli: FUCK YEAH DADA. 

Dain: Care. Of. Magical. Piggies Creatures.

Thranduil: Hmmm, difficult one. Possibly Divination, maybe History of Magic… IDK!

Boromir: DADA, yep.

Faramir: History of Magic… though he is very gifted at DADA.

Frodo: Study of Ancient Runes, possibly?

Sam: HER BO LO GY.

Merry: Also Herbology! (He knows a lot about pipeweed, does our Merry. Even writes a book about the Shire’s Herb-lore in his later years!)

Pippin: Oh, bother lessons anyway. Flying, please!

Eowyn: She has been pressured into prioritising HOM, when all she wanted was to throw herself into DADA and be a part of the Duelling Club. 

Eomer: DADA, the smug bugger. 

Theoden: Charms (yeouch, lol, I am not being ironically mean or anything here hahaha)

Arwen: Divination

(Sansukh folks hey hey)

Frerin: Transfiguration

Dis: Potions, I think… it’s fiddly and detailed enough to keep her attention.

Thrain: COMC (Custard would totally be a kneazle)

Fris: Music. Oh yes.

Thror: History of Magic.

Hrera: Charms

Thorin Stonehelm: Transfiguration.

Bomfris: DADA

Jeri: DADA

Loni: Potions

Frar: Charms.

Baris: MUSIC.

Gimris: Potions

Gimizh: COMC. Also, flying. Also, anything that blows up and makes a giant mess.

Wee Thorin: DADA

Balinith: Potions

Frerinith: Transfiguration

Laindawar: DADA

Laerophen: History of Magic

Thira: Transfiguration. 

PHEW!!!

Now I just really wanna know what Harry Potter house you’d put everyone in…

I was only just talking about this! linddzz this is all your fault 😉

So, these are only my thoughts, and they do not stomp on or contradict anybody else’s headcanons when it comes to these characters, not at all! Thank you for asking for them, Nonnie!

Okay, well, we have Slytherin!Thorin, without a doubt. Loyal to family, willing to go to extremes to achieve an end, etc etc. Go read this post for lots of reasons! I like it so much.

Dwalin is the most Puff of Hufflepuffs to ever Puff. He and Thorin make the dynamic Slytherin-Hufflepuff duo. 

Balin I consider a Ravenclaw, but with a bit of a Slytherin streak. He’s sly when he needs to be, after all… 

Gloin – Gryffindor. SO Gryffindor. OUTRAGEOUSLY Gryffindor.

Oin – Ravenclaw. Signs and herbs and healing ahoy!

Dori – Hufflepuff. His brothers are basically everything to him, after all.

Nori – Slytherin. C’mon. Cunning and sneaky? Yeah. 

Ori – Ravenclaw… with a giant-sized Gryffindor streak a la Neville Longbottom.

Fili – Hufflepuff. “I belong with my brother!”

Kili – Gryffindor. Reckless? Yeah, totally Gryffindor.

Bofur – Hufflepuff! He’s not all that brave, after all. But he works hard (and plays hard!) and sticks by his friends.

Bifur – I think Bifur is a Ravenclaw, despite the whole beserker rage thing. Look at the way he touches that little eagle-puppet. I can imagine him making clever and cunning little things, ancient words spilling from his lips.

Bombur – Hufflepuff as well, though he has a Gryffindor side nearly as big as his appetite 🙂

Bilbo – I was torn on Bilbo for a while. He could fit in any of the houses with a bit of wriggling. He is cunning and sneaky and secretive, he is clever and loves book-learning and knowledge, he values adventure and learns to be brave (in a pinch), and he is loyal, true and kind. But I have eventually settled on Gryffindor for him. Because nobody attacks a warg-riding Orc single-handedly without a healthy dollop of Gryffindor foolhardiness!

Dain – PUFF PRIDE BABY. Fair-handed, sensible, loyal and patient? PUFF.

Thranduil – Slytherin. My word yes.

Aragorn – IDK, I am in the air as to where to put Aragorn. On the one hand, he fits Gryffindor quite well. On the other, he could also be a Ravenclaw… (well, Book!Aragorn is a mine of knowledge after all)… Hmm. Perhaps he is the Hermione Granger of Middle Earth!

Gandalf – Slytherin. For obvious reasons!!!

Legolas – Gryffindor. INSANELY reckless, after all… and though he is smart and tremendously loyal, the Gryff in him wins out. (One word – OLIPHAUNT).

Gimli – “Faithless is he who says farewell when the road darkens” should really replace the Hufflepuff slogan, tbh.

Boromir – Gryffindor… though there is also an argument to be made for Slytherin there! 

Pippin – Here we have the anti-Neville, the Gryffindor who is foolhardy and overcompensating because he isn’t sure he fits in. He finds his place eventually!

Merry – Hufflepuff. He’s scared a lot, but all he wants to do is fight for his friends. 

Frodo – Ravenclaw. Frodo is learned. He speaks three languages, he writes his books, he uses and seeks out knowledge that he can apply. He is also clever as heck with words: the whole of ‘The Window on the West’ proves that! 

Sam – Hufflepuff, the quintessential Hufflepuff. 

Eowyn – Slytherin (I know it’s not the usual place to sort her… but she is ambitious!! And SNEAKY. And so incredibly loyal to Theoden, just… ARGH.)

Eomer – Gryffindor yo.

Faramir – Ravenclaw.

“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” He is wise as heck. Called a ‘wizard’s pet’ and known for disappearing in the archives… yeah. Ravenclawwww. 

Theoden – Gryffindor.

Arwen – Hufflepuff. Oh, Arwen darling. 

Galadriel – SLYTHERIN OH MY GOD. Artanis, Nerwen, the Elf who wanted more than the Gardens of Valinor and crossed the grinding ice to get it, who followed her family into exile, who had so much pride?

(Now for some Sansukh-characters!)

Frerin – PUFF PUFF PUFF PUFF

Dis – Slytherin. 

Thrain – Gryffindor.

Fris – Ravenclaw

Hrera – Slytherin

Thror – Gryffindor (what the hell, Thror, why are you off to Moria alone, are you completely nuts)

Loni – Slytherin. 

Frar – Hufflepuff

Jeri – Ravenclaw. Yes, Jeri has dyscalculia, but is also an amazing tactical thinker. Not all intelligence is book-smarts 🙂

Baris – Hufflepuff. She looks after everybody else.

Gimizh – SLYTHERIN. OH MY GOD YES.

Wee Thorin – Hufflepuff.

Frerinith – Gryffindor

Balinith – Ravenclaw

Laerophen – Ravenclaw

Laindawar – Slytherin

Thira – Ravenclaw. 

Thorin Stonehelm – Oh baby. Here is a Gryffindor who has the most EPIC case of Neville-Longbottomitis ever. He has always hesitated when it comes to putting himself forward, always hovered in the orbit of all these titans of recent history. Nowadays, he’s finally, finally coming into his own at last.

Bomfris – Slytherin. She has a powerful urge to prove herself, that girl! And she is ambitious (though it is for recognition, not for power) and she is shockingly protective of those she loves.  

Bonus round: Elrond is absolutely a Ravenclaw, to my mind.

image

EDIT: goddamn it, I forgot people!!! I knew I would, gah. Sorry sorry sorry. Fixed!

realsocialskills:

If people post selfies, is it considered a compliment to comment that they are cute/pretty/“nice hair” ect.? Or is it considered invasive?
realsocialskills said:
I’m not 100% sure about this. I also find the boundaries confusing, and it’s a reason I rarely comment on selfies. I think it might be one of those things where there are a lot of preferences and everyone thinks that their preference is a widely understood rule.
That said, there are a few clear rules:
Don’t reblog selfies from a personal blog to a public blog without explicit permission. For instance:
  • If a fat person posts a selfie to their personal tumblr, it’s not ok to reblog it to a body positive tumblr without permission
  • Wanting to show their picture to their followers does *not* mean that they want their picture being used to illustrate a point to hundreds or thousands of other people who don’t follow them

Do not reblog from someone’s personal tumblr to a tumblr that has a lot of sexually explicit material on it, even if it is your personal tumblr

  • If you do that, it sends the message to the person you reblogged from that you’re thinking of their selfie as porn
  • That’s a creepy and invasive sex act
  • Do not do that
  • If you’re not sure whether your account counts as sexually explicit for this purpose, err very strongly on the side of assuming it does

If your primary account is a sexually explicit tumblr, or would appear to be one to someone glancing at your name and avatar, do not like or comment on selfies. (For the same reasons it’s not ok to reblog selfies to a sexually explicit tumblr).

If your personal tumblr is not sexually explicit, the rules are more complicated and I’m not sure how well I understand them.

Some things I think are true:

In a mutual follow (you follow them and they follow you, and your tumblr):

  • It’s probably ok to like selfies
  • It’s probably ok to comment on selfies
  • It’s probably *not* ok to make sexualized comments on someone’s selfies unless they have indicated that this would be ok (Eg: it’s ok to tell someone their hair is nice, it’s not ok to tell them sexual things you would like to do involving their hair)
  • It’s almost never ok to say critical things about selfies
  • (Unless someone is, say, soliciting feedback about their makeup. Then it’s ok to comment, but don’t be mean or joke mean)
  • It may or may not be ok to reblog. Different people have different preferences. When in doubt, ask.
  • If they ask you to stop, apologize and stop (even if they’re not nice about it)

If they’re not following you:

  • It’s probably ok to like
  • It’s probably not ok to reblog 
  • It may or may not be to comment
  • If they ask you to stop, apologize and stop (even if they’re not nice about it)

A lot of people don’t like it if you comment on/like/reblog old selfies:

  • If someone’s selfies aren’t within a few pages of their first page, you probably should leave them alone
  • Unless they’re linked from their first page (eg: in a link inviting you to look at their #me tag)
  • The reason people don’t like this is that it gives the impression that you’ve gone through their whole archive looking for selfies, and that can feel invasive

Misc other concerns:

  • If someone’s posting injury pictures, they may not want you complimenting their appearance
  • Particularly if they are abuse injury pictures
  • But they’re probably not looking for you to tell them they look horrible either
  • Follow their lead on this
  • If someone is being self-denigrating, don’t be condescending in your reply. (Eg; if someone posts that they feel ugly, don’t say something like: “You’re beautiful! You should love yourself more!”) It can be ok to reply with a compliment, but not a condescending compliment
  • Look at the tags. They often tell you what kind of response someone does and does not welcome.

I’m not 100% sure of any of this, but this is as far as I’ve figured it out. What do y’all think?