Tag: mental illness

That guest reviewer was so fucking wrong OK, your fic is gold and wonderfully representative and I LOVE IT OK you keep rocking on Dets you are amazing

*hugs* ty, Nonnie. I’m glad you like it, you’re a gem to say so. 

That was the third such ‘review’ in a few months. I received the last one when I was having a very bad day, unable to even think. 

This time, on the upswing and a bit more stable, it struck me. Just, the mindboggling hypocrisy of these assholes claiming that they give a damn about people like me when their actions and words actively hurt us? When they seek out people like me in order to shout us down and speak over us? Yeah, I had a stream-of-consciousness rant to exorcise 🙂

u practically admitted thorin is awful lmao

that’s what you took away from that post??? Are you fucking serious?

Also, it appears you lack the basic text comprehension of a 5th grader. I feel bad for your teachers. Let me break it down for you, in small small words.

You say you find Thorin annoying and awful. Impression. An opinion.

I say I (and many others) find you annoying and awful. Impression. An opinion.

An impression is not reality. An opinion may not necessarily be true. I was drawing a parallel between your perceptions and mine, you complete prawn.

You are doing everything to CONFIRM my impression of you as annoying and awful, as well as ableist, rude, and vile. Go away and stop harassing people.

your thorin helped me with my depression, and i know negatives stick out far more than all the good because ive been there but please know your thorin and his struggle helped me. im not better yet, not by a long shot but i see myself in your thorin and all his anger. i’ve never been a “good” depressed person. my depression manifested as anger and aggression and so no one wants to help my prickly butt. your thorin really helped.

*hugs*

I feel you. I am not a ‘good’ depressed person either; I also have angry spells, followed by long withdrawal. We’re still worthwhile and real and good people.

I’m SO glad it helped. SO SO glad.

“Guest Review”

(by determamfidd)

And I’m not the only one who thinks this.

I remember the days after my daughter was born, the months of crying, the grey in everything – the air, the food, the breath i took – the sucking black hole that was my mind and the way it wanted to eat my life up, everything that was good in me and about me, how I became a small corner of myself, how I hated everything and everyone, even her, even me (especially me)

I remember being 14 years old and bulimic, 10 years old and cutting my hair off, 16 years old and drunk, 19 years old, 25, 19, 21 and thinking, everyone thinks you’re useless, worthless, unless you keep succeeding, succeeding, succeeding, you have to do better, it is what YOU ARE FOR, you’re letting everyone down if you don’t, you must be better

I remember thinking: I showed such promise, they must have loved me back then, why didn’t I live up to it, why do I never live up to it, 

I remember hurting myself

I remember thinking I deserved it

I remember thinking, and I’m not the only one who thinks this.

…

So if you though you were doing your part to represent depressed people with him, all you did was make people hate them more.

I’ve just spent three months climbing back out of the black hole. My mind periodically tries to bury me alive every now and then. This was a bad one

I’ve seen you telling me, others, everyone, that we are doing a bad job being ourselves and telling our stories, that we are the ones making people hate us (more)

it amazes me (but not really)

that you claim to give a damn

about people like me

when this foul sludge SHIT, this monstrous, disgusting playground doggerel 

is what you inflict on us, and then tell us it is our fault that you say these things to us

Psst. Wanna know a secret? you see, the reason it doesn’t actually amaze me? Is because I have depression. I have depression. I am a person who lives with depression.

(do my Sick Mind credentials satisfy you? Do I pass your “tests”, will you stop harassing me now?)

Guess how many times someone has told me ‘you’re doing depression wrong’. Guess. I want you to guess. I want you to guess how many times, and then I want you to really, properly think. 

(if you can)

About how little you count to me, about how little you matter. Little, little voice.

Think how many times, how many ways, a person with a real mental illness has heard someone like you using them as a prop in their argument

Think how many times, how many ways, a person with a real mental illness has heard someone like you tell them ‘everything you do isn’t good enough’

Think how many times, how many ways, a person with a real mental illness has heard someone like you telling them that they’re not enough and cannot speak for themself

Think how many times, how many ways, a person with a real mental illness has heard someone like you telling them that they make people hate them, their illness makes people hate them

Little. You’re so so little. Compared to all the other voices, all our lives long. You’re tiny. A speck. 

You’re just another little voice, trying desperately (oh so desperately) to talk over me. telling me I cannot adequately represent myself.

A nasty, cruel, rather boring and unimaginative little voice. And oh, isn’t it so very, very interesting to note how many people perceive you as annoying and awful?

perhaps you and the character you hate so much have something in common. 

Please. Enjoy that thought.

…

Maybe it happens IRL but nobody wants to slog through chapters of it

Tell me about it. 

It’s my life.

And I am allowed to tell it, and people are allowed to enjoy it.

And you 

don’t

get

to

tell

anyone

anyone at all

“no”.

You are not the keeper of me. You are not the arbiter of creativity. You are not the judge and the jury of my words: you do not get to tell me what to write. You do not get to tell me what to be. You do not get to say whether my life and my writing and the way I use writing to cope and express myself is unworthy

I can write out the black hole in my head and I can put it in the mind of a character, and I will love them 

(The way I couldn’t love me)

And it will be enough for me. And that is the point, the whole fucking point. 

and you, little whining voice, little bully, tiny ineffectual harasser of the mentally ill 

“Oh but it’s for your own good! You’re telling your story wrong! You’re not doing it justice! You’re making us hate you!” – yeah, I’ve heard it all before

You

can go kiss Thorin Oakenshield.

5 ways you can help a friend suffering from depression

teded:

Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world; in the United States, close to ten percent of adults struggle with depression. But because it’s a mental illness, it can be a lot harder to understand than, say, high cholesterol. 

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One major source of confusion is the difference between having depression and just feeling depressed. Almost everyone feels down from time-to-time, but Clinical Depression is different.  It’s a medical disorder, and it won’t go away just because you want it to. It lingers for at least two consecutive weeks and significantly interferes with one’s ability to work, play, or love. Chances are you know someone who suffers from depression. Here are some ways you can help.

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1. Help find help: If you know someone struggling with depression, encourage them – gently – to seek out help. You might even offer to help with specific tasks, like looking up therapists in the area or making a list of questions to ask a doctor. To someone with depression, these first steps can seem insurmountable.

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2. Be informed: If they feel guilty or ashamed, point out that depression is a medical condition just like asthma or diabetes. It’s not a weakness or a personality trait, and they shouldn’t expect themselves to “just get over it” any more than they could will themselves to get over a broken arm. The more you know about mental illness, the better able you are to understand what they are going through, and to support them.

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3. Don’t downplay it: If you haven’t experienced depression yourself, avoid comparing it to times you’ve felt down – comparing what they’re experiencing to normal, temporary feelings of sadness can make them feel guilty for struggling.

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4. Stamp out stigma: Even just talking about depression openly can help. For example, research shows that asking someone about suicidal thoughts actually reduces their suicide risk. Open conversations about mental illness help erode stigma, and make it easier for people to ask for help. And, the more patients seek treatment, the more scientists will learn about depression, and the better the treatments will get.

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5. Continue the conversation: Because depression’s symptoms are intangible, it’s hard to know who might look fine, but is actually struggling. Just because your friend may seem fine one day, don’t assume that they’ve ‘gotten better’. Remain supportive.

From the TED-Ed Lesson What is depression? – Helen M. Farrell

Animation by Artrake Studio

fleursdanslatete:

claidilady:

uwu-chan:

hey like, if you happen to do something abusive because of your mental illness

you still gotta apologize for it???? 

you still have to accept responsibility???

you can’t expect the people around you to just suck it up when you hurt them because you’re mentally ill. 

spiraling further and self-deprecation/calling urself a monster also isn’t an apology. an apology does not involve another person comforting you for your harmful actions. 

same with claiming that you are a failure and are doomed to never change or improve. Apology should not involve the other person comforting you and rooting for you, and essentially being your cheerleader.

Same if you claim that not doing abusive things to someone repeatedly is “so hard” while also refusing to examine your behavior, to create a plan of action to help you cope with your mental illness in a healthy way, or by refusing to seek help in any shape or form. Twice as bad if you expect the person you abused to be your mental health therapist/processor.

ok but thorin has ptsd and no can convince me otherwise I mean look at his reaction just from hearing the word orcs while he’s half asleep! he’s seen some screwed up shit the poor guy would obviously be carrying some kind of trauma and I don’t know where I’m going with this there’s probably other stuff demonstrating his post traumatic stress but I can’t think of it right now lol oops I rambled

baggvinshield:

!!!! I wholeheartedly agree, Thorin does have PTSD. (I think @yubiwamonogatari wrote some about this while i was on my tumblr hiatus and i bet her opinions on the subject are very real and true.)

Even without “evidence” in the films, it’s very easy to reason that Thorin would have PTSD. Look at the traumatic life experiences he’s been through – the dragon attacks and takes Erebor when Thorin is only (i believe) 24 years old, which is practically childhood for Dwarves. Thorin fights in the bloodiest battle in Dwarven history when he’s in his early 50′s, loses his younger brother, his father, and his grandfather/king all in one day, and has to shoulder the burden of leading his people when he’s still so very young, barely of age to do so. And that’s only what we know about. These traumatic experiences are going to alter him and stay with him and change him, and he’s going to struggle to overcome negative feelings and fear for a long time.

Thorin has PTSD – more under the cut 

Keep reading

For the amazing Dets

tehri:

Thank you.

Thank you for writing Sansûkh. Thank you for portraying Thorin so well. Thank you for accurately portraying someone struggling with depression, anxiety, self-loathing and extremely likely PTSD.

Thank you for this.

Thank you for showing that it gets easier to live with it. Thank you for showing that despite the large amount of time he spent working on this, he is still not done. Thank you for showing that he has the support and love of so many. Thank you for showing that no one loves him any less for all his flaws.

Thank you for all of this.

It helps. You have no idea how much it helps to see someone actually portraying Thorin this way, to make him face his demons and not instantly defeat them. To make him very slowly, day by day, starting to learn to live with them and accept them as part of him, and to make him slowly figure out how to change himself and start to love himself.

It helps because depression and self-loathing have both been big parts of my life. It helps because you show that it DOES get better, for all that it takes time. It helps because you don’t say that it goes away instantly, that it’s a very long and slow process. Because god knows I’ve been frustrated beyond belief with myself and my inability to just walk away from my problems as neurotypicals seem to think that one should be able to.

Thank you.

I’m crying here. Proper real wet tears. 

Thank you, Teh. I can’t ever ever ever ever tell you how much this means to me. I can’t tell you how incredibly INCREDIBLY important this is to me, and how much it affects me down to my bones, to hear that you feel the same way and are struggling through the same shit. That because I wrote Thorin in this way – as a hero sure, BUT as a hero who lives and must come to terms with depression, phenomenal self-esteem and identity issues, anxiety, intrusive thoughts (and yeah definitely PTSD) – I have helped. 

Seriously, I am crying. Blotchy red-faced Dets with a runny nose. 

Thank you, most wonderful Hobbit Owl. Thank you so very, very much. *hugs for a zillion years*