This was the freakin’ cutest and I would 110% attempt to make friends with Jeri the Precious Cinnamon Roll and maybe awkwardly ask on date at some point. “The Tale of Two Nonbinary Dwarves and Awkward Attempts of Flirting” yes that sounds perfect Jeri I think you’re gr8 u wanna go, uh, watch stars or, uh, something. Something.

(I am so glad you liked it, Nonnie!)

Oh my god, Jeri and small talk and dates and STARS, they are gonna be so so damn FLUSTERED, get them a glass of water omg

It’s been a while since fanfic happened

dain-mothafocka:

In Sansukh Chapter 43, we meet some exiled Orocarni dwarves. Yall know how much I love exiled Orocarni dwarves, so I wrote a thing about exiled Orocarni dwarves with the two new characters we meet, Askhar and Orla. As ever, these belong to @determamfidd, I only provide the enthusiasm from the sidelines. 

TW: blood, violence, swearing

“There
is nothing – I repeat – nothing to fear, if we give Sauron
no reason to cause us harm!”

Clamour
broke out once again among the Courts of the Blacklocks, high within
the upper ring of Ghomal.

“It’s
false – it’s heresy – cast him out!” shrieked one dwarf, rising
to their feet, their eyes flashing, and with a great roar of
agreement from their fellows around them.

Hanay’s
eyes narrowed and his chest puffed up like a vulture settling down to
judge a potential meal.

“Really,
Askhar, you do yourself a disservice yelling like that. This is the
Court of the Queen.” Though Councillor Hanay’s voice was steady and
his face bland, the hint of bared teeth behind his thin lips belied
his true feelings.

Keep reading

OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD

i wanna punch Hanay and then shave him bald, what an absolute EVIL ARSEHOLE holy shit I hate him so MUCH

laksjdhgflajshdgfalj AHHHY KARA YES MY YOUNG SPITFIRE KICK HIS BUTT, YES ASHKAR MY LOVE, YOU TELL HIM WHAT FOR OMFG

afldgaljsahfgal THIS IS NOW WHAT HAPPENED AND NOTHING ELSE, I AM SCREAMING IN JOY AND OH MY GOD THE REST OF THE NAZBUKHRIN AND INTER- AND INTRA-OROCARNI MENTIONS AND AND OMFGAUUUUGH

SAURONIC CULTISTS AND EASTERN HISTORY AND ASLKDGFLAJSHFGAY ORLA AND KARA AND ASHKARRRRRR

AND ALSO HANAY NEEDS A GOOD KICKING

holy shit I am howlign here – J, this is fucking AMAZING. I love it, I love you, and holy shit I love these DWARVES. Thank you SO GODDAMN MUCH! 

dain-mothafocka:

poplitealqueen:

For dain-mothafocka.

This is Khalei, her half-Firebeard half-Blacklock Dwarf OC from the Orocarni that is really damn cool. You can read a ficlet that has them in this post here.

The headscarf shown is known as a Kh’busi: a garb some of the Blacklock dwarves wear to show their family and Clan history. (This is only a taste of delish Orocarni headcanons, bet you thought it was canon!)

Seriously, Khalei is bae. Every day.

I can’t even fuuuuuuuuuuu

so good so so good so good I love this interpretation. that busi is fuckin a* so regal and majestic. 

and tHEIR HAIR. Wow. That’s next level hair. 

They look so intimidating but in a ‘you will never be this pretty’ way and so boss. no wonder Jeri was scared. 

It’s highly likely that this has already been asked, but since Jeri’s beard is green due the whole non-binary dwarves are allowed to be hella rad; how does totally canon BLUE bearded Dwalin… adefhsdgis sudfij???. Non-binary Dwalin is a thing right?!

Hey Nonnie – I’m not writing him as such, but that IS where the inspiration was ganked from! And why not – it’s perfectly possible that a blue-dyed beard signifies agender, and Dwalin goes by he/him/his because he likes ‘em. 

Could you please tell us more about Jeri? Their presence in Sansukh is so important to me, because I’m also nb and I’m having a bad day, and (I hope) hearing positive things about someone like might help.

Sure thing, Nonnie! I’m sorry to hear you’re not having a great time of it today. I’m sending you my very best wishes: I hope your day gets better.

Jeri Child of Beri

Jeri is the only child of Beri daughter of Kori, conceived when Beri was only 72 years old in Ered Luin. Beri was an angry, impulsive and reckless youth – a soldier and the last of a once-respected family whose means had dwindled starkly in their exile. Beri’s aggressive and risk-taking ways were brought to a sudden halt, and she was forced to settle down very quickly after the birth of her child. Beri has never spoken of who sired the baby to anyone other than Jeri themself. Jeri has never made any attempt to contact him – and has no wish to be associated with a Dwarrow who would leave such a young Dwarrowdam alone to raise a child.

Despite their tight circumstances, Beri made an excellent sole parent for the adventurous, curious, unorthodox, logical and fiercely independent Jeri. Beri was determined to provide the best possible life for her child, and often took on dangerous mining and border-protection duty for the extra payment. She noticed early on that Jeri showed aptitude for the arts of combat, and began training them with a wooden practice sword. It is one of Jeri’s fondest early memories: the clack of wooden swords against each other in a dingy room in Ered Luin.

It was when Jeri was around 32 that they declared themself to be Zatakhuzdûn (literally, “Whole Dwarf, one/embodies this” – i.e. nonbinary). Beri kissed their cheek and asked how Jeri wished to be known. Jeri picked ‘Child of Beri,’ to honour their mother.

Jeri did not have a head for figures. They discovered that they needed special assistance for numbers to make sense: they appeared to dance before their eyes and they often mixed up their orders when Jeri was working upon sums. Nevertheless, sequences were not a problem: Jeri found that they had a remarkable memory for manoeuvres and strategy. They developed a keen interest in games of tactics such as ‘uzghu ma ziraku (Blunt Battle, literally “not sharp battle” – a game of memory and strategy similar to chess). Even in their adult years Jeri is still a champion, and meets once a week with friends to play.

It was when Jeri was nearing fifty that the Quest for Erebor succeeded. Beri and Jeri together in one of the great Dwarven caravans moved from Ered Luin to the Lonely Mountain. It is at this time that the tiny family began to turn their lives around, Jeri’s fortunes began to change and their skills began to gain notice.

During the journey over the Misty Mountains, the caravan-train was attacked by remnants of the goblins that had been so incensed by the death of their King. Jeri, who was 50 and still underage, managed to impress the old training-master Nali with their deft and ferocious defense of their wagon. Upon reaching Erebor, Nali mentioned this to one of his most renowned former-students, Dwalin Fundinul. Dwalin made a mental note to watch Jeri’s progress.

By the time they were 70, Jeri was at the top of their apprentice class and training amongst journeymen. It was not long before Jeri had their masters’ braid, and was placed in the newest battalion under the direction of the brilliant and unconventional Orla Longaxe. Orla noted Jeri’s unusual aptitude for both strategy and combat, and Jeri quickly began to rise through the ranks.

Jeri was also frequenting Nori’s tavern regularly, playing ‘uzghu ma ziraku   against challengers (and always collecting their share of the winnings from Nori, along with a couple of free ales). With this supplement to their income, Jeri and Beri were able to move from their cramped and humble quarters to a larger apartment.

It was at this time also that Beri met and married Genild daughter of Gorild, an old comrade of Dain II Ironfoot. Genild was a Dwarrowdam of the Iron Hills and a veteran of the Battle of Five Armies. Like Beri, Genild was herself an older Dwarf, and had long given up the idea of discovering love. Jeri immediately liked Genild and rejoiced in their mother’s good fortune at last. Jeri customarily calls Beri ‘Amad’ and Genild ‘Ma.’

However, it was not this connection to the Council that precipitated Jeri’s elevation to the highest rank. It was in fact the young soldier’s quick thinking that gained them their coveted position in the elite guard. Bain King of Dale had been visiting Erebor upon a matter of trade, and had brought his young son Brand. Some disaffected Men of the former Laketown, jealous of Dale’s growing prosperity and close friendship with Dain Ironfoot, planned to kidnap the young Prince and throw suspicion onto the Dwarves in order to sow dissent.

Jeri quickly discerned that no Dwarf had taken the Prince, who had been touring the great bustling Marketplace of Erebor (and watching one of the clockwork puppet shows). The escape-path the kidnappers had taken led through one of the subterranean water-channels that fed the River Running, and no Dwarf could ford it without a rope. No rope had been used, ergo, the kidnapper was taller than a Dwarf.

Thus reasoned, Jeri immediately brought their findings to Orla Longaxe. Orla ordered Jeri to follow through on their reasoning, and so Jeri immediately took a small detail of Dwarves and Men to the abandoned ruins of Laketown which still mouldered underneath the dragon’s glittering bones. Nearby stood the new town that was now commonly called Esgaroth. There they discovered the young Prince, battered and very wet, but alive. Jeri themself took captive the leader of the plot and brought him back to Bain and Dain in chains (and in tears – apparently Jeri made something of an impression).

Jeri was made a member of the elite guard by Dwalin Fundinul, and was given a gold bead forged by the hand of Dain Ironfoot himself as commemoration for their deed (it is a little crooked at the base, but Jeri prizes it nevertheless).

Jeri is still rather independent, and will choose their own guard detail rather than wait to be assigned. They prefer ‘interesting’ jobs rather than simple guard duty. At 127, Jeri is in their vigorous early-to-mid adulthood, and is proficient in both swordplay and axe-work. Jeri has also been known to accompany the heir Thorin Stonehelm upon his own work, and is fond of him  – though Jeri thinks he needs to believe in himself more and isn’t afraid to tell him so. To be frank, Jeri is probably the first person he has ever called ‘friend.’

Jeri’s Dark-Name is Id-uskan – “The Perceiver.” They have only ever shared it with their mother.