I drew this based on @gimleafanatic‘s “With Wit and Soul Intact”(which is an adorable and sexy gigolas one-shot fic, I recommend it a lot!!! just like the rest of her fics tbh!!!!!!!! read everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!) during tonight’s stream and yeah!! here we are! (spreading my trash through all kinds of ships)
Dwalin: If you ask him outright he might want to fight you. Instead, suggest some elves were doubting the might of Dwarven Weaponry, sit back and enjoy the show.
Balin: You can ask him. He will look only mildly disappointed in you. You will cry anyway. He’ll pat you on the back and offer to write you down titles of a few erotic publications he heard were particularly skillfully illustrated.
Fili: As long as neither Uncle nor Mister Dwalin is looking. Unfortunately, before he can remove all the knives out of the way, one or the other would come check what’s to do.
Kili: Totally would. Are you sure you want to ask tho? There could be anything down these trousers.
Oin: He can show you his pick. He can show you a stick. He can show you a brick. And he’ll do it real quick. How long are you prepared to yell “DICK” on top of your lungs, out in the open like that?
Gloin: Gloin will not show you hid dick. He will, however show you a picture of his wife, the person with exclusive rights to his dick, the most beautiful dwarrowdam in the Blue Mountains, mother to the bravest lad and the most promising axe fighter his age in the Blue Mountains, etc. etc.
Dori: Will most definitely NOT show you his dick. And he’ll thank you not to extend any such offers to his brothers. The nerve of some people. He will require a whole pot of chamomile tea to calm down. He will have his eye on you from now on, to be sure.
Nori: “Sure, which one? I was feeling adventurous so I packed three.”
Ori: You will not have a chance to ask Ori. It was a mistake to ask Dori first. Do not approach Ori. He might want to approach you. In that case, run.
Bifur: Has been sunbathing in the nude any chance he got, since the very beginning of the quest. At this point, you are considering asking him to stop showing his dick all the time.
Bofur: Buy him a beer or three and he’ll jump on a table,
whip it out,
and make a demonstration of his flute-playing technique. Do it when elves are present.
Bombur: Won’t show you his dick, but ask anyway. He’s got a very cute blush.
Bilbo Baggins: He’ll be taken aback. Disbelieving. Apalled. Amused. Considering. Suspicious. Huffy. Pensieve. Gobsmacked. Apologetic. Self-depreciating. All that will take approximately 10 seconds. Then he’ll attempt to refuse, trip over a choice of platitudes, look over your shoulder, blink, and drop trout. Then he’ll put his clothing to rights, thank you, for some reason, and saunter off looking mighty pleased with himself.
Thorin Oakenshield: If you hurry up you can catch him masturbating, right this moment.
bilbo is checking out her own bum -which she’s pretty proud of btw- while she waits for thorin to come back home ehehe
It was the snickering that woke Bilbo up.
Well, she was getting peckish as well, but the snickering was the main culprit. That and the gentle pressure of fingers on her bum. As her mind crept towards consciousness, other details filtered in; she was out of her underthings but mostly under the blanket.
She craned her neck, but tried to keep the rest of her body from moving, and yes, that was Thorin behind her. The Dwarf had lifted the blanket enough to expose Bilbo’s arse – it was getting a little chilly, even with warm fingers and warmer huffs of breath on her skin – and was laughing quietly. But at what?
“What are you doing?”
Thorin sat up suddenly, smile sliding away to alarm. “Nothing.”
“Liar.” Bilbo also rose, letting the blanket pool in her lap. Immediately goosebumps thrilled along her shoulders and down her arms, and her nipples pebbled. She bashed her pillow against the headboard and sat back, expression expectant. She didn’t miss the downward flick of Thorin’s gaze (but that could keep for later).
“It’s just these, these stretchmarks of yours.”
Though quite aware of Thorin’s enthusiastic acceptance of her body in its entirety, Bilbo couldn’t stop the creep of doubt.
“Just look at this.” Thorin spread Bilbo’s thighs – at first Bilbo thought this some sort of distraction, but all her Dwarf did was to run her fingers over the feathery ‘scars’ running along the inside of her thigh.
Fine, it was still distracting. Concentrate, Bilbo.
“If I do this…” Using thumb and middle finger on either side of one stretchmark, Thorin pulled the skin taut. “See, it disappears?” She kept her eyes on Bilbo’s thighs and released her grip. “And there it is again.”
When Thorin chuckled again, Bilbo’s lips formed an answering grin. “You are absolutely ridiculous. And adorable. It’s unfair.”
“It is only that I find you endlessly fascinating, dear one.”
“And I feel the same.” Bilbo leaned forward and kissed Thorin; her hands carded through the hair on her chest and she let the swell of Thorin’s breasts fill her palms. “These are especially fascinating.”
Thorin’s hands were still on the insides of Bilbo’s thighs, her touch like a kiss of air so she could feel the ridge of each of the stretchmarks there. “I would not deprive you your fascinations.”
“I think we should address yours first. Namely,” she smiled and spread her legs wider, “you should get closer to these so you can observe them more carefully. And while you’re down there…” Bilbo watched Thorin shift downwards and her toes curled in anticipation. “Well, when you’re down there I hope something else will catch your attention.”
I had this idea for so long, about Thorin comparing stretchmarks with veins of mineral, and someone asked me to draw/write about stretchmark-love, I just had to draw a little comic about it (♡´艸`)
Aw Yiss 