a postmodernist naked dwarf runs through your askbox. it’s a deconstruction of the dialectic narrative in erebor of privacy. as written by debord, “sexual identity is part of the futility of sexuality”, and nudity is something to be ended as a concept itself, as sexuality is in essence a dematerialist substance.

HEADCANON: DORI HATES WINDING THREAD OR WOOL UPON A SHUTTLE SO MUCH (EVEN USING A WHEEL, IT IS SO SO SOOOOO TEDIOUS) THAT HE EMPLOYS BOFUR TO MAKE SOMETHING MECHANICAL TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS

BOFUR COMES UP WITH THE BOBBIN AND THE BOAT-SHUTTLE

IT IS AN INSTANT HIT

A bunch of naked asks show up in your askbox. You don’t know how asks can be naked but they’re in your askbox and everything in your askbox is naked tonight, so they must be too. You eye the asks warily.

RIGHT. 

HEADCANON: GLOIN IS SOMETHING OF A MATHEMATICAL WIZ. HE CAN ADD SEEMINGLY MAGICAL NUMBERS IN HIS HEAD AND HARDLY EVER MAKES MISTAKES. THIS COMES FROM KEEPING ACCOUNTS IN A WORLD WHERE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CALCULATOR. HE CAN LEISURELY RUN HIS FINGER DOWN THE PAGE OF A LEDGER AND WRITE THE TALLY AT THE BOTTOM, NO MATTER HOW HUGE OR VARIED THE FIGURES. 

(MY GREAT-GRANDAD WAS A CLERK AND COULD DO THE SAME THING, IT WAS SORTA INCREDIBLE TO WATCH)