Tag: omg

cracked-dot-com-official:

capriscum:

my great uncle Bob is exactly what you’d expect from an australian farmer. he’s approximately 65 years old and he’s a cattle farmer on a station (a station is a fuck off huge ranch, basically, it’s a couple thousand acres) and he’s this beanpole of a man who looks like he’s spent his entire life outside because, well, he has. he also drives this ancient beat-up yellow ute which is more rust than car at this point and was made in approximately 1980. it’s old. 

anyway he was driving to the far end of the station the other day and an emu ran out in front of his car and he hit it, only it didn’t die, it came flying through the windshield, still alive and mostly unharmed. so there’s my uncle and this emu which is now sitting in the front seat of his car and understandably the emu is pretty pissed off and the first thought that goes through Bob’s head is “oh shit it’s going to start kicking me” so he figures the best way to stop it doing that is to punch it in the face and that is the story of how my uncle got in a fistfight with an emu.

this is the most australian thing i’ve ever read. this is the essence of australia

Someone: So what is your biggest fear?
Me: Peter Jackson is allowed to make a movie adaptation of the Silmarillion. All the characters are white dudes. There are 45 parts and still all the relevant plot is left out. Lúthien is turned into Action Girl who will need saving during the climax. Mîm is only there for comic relief. Feanor is shown 0.2 seconds during the prologue. Everybody who is not in the Lay of Leithian or the Narn gets erased. Somehow, Legolas is there.

*me, idly bumbling about on laptop* i wonder what the stats are on Sansukh now, been a few months since I last checked

*me, three seconds later* HOLY SHITTING FUCK!??!

image

*also me* THAT IS A TYPO, THAT CAN’T BE REAL

melanippos:

knightsmares:

snartha:

lsusanna:

tolkien-in-beleriand:

earlgraytay:

You know, Tolkien just said elves have leaf-shaped ears. He didn’t see what kind of leaf.

I need a Fëanor with one of these

or any elf actually

you rang

please let this post be a giant pile-on with like 20 different artists

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Did someone say leaf eared elves

@snartha, @tolkien-in-beleriand and @earlgraytay an addition to the collection :3 Iris and poison ivy leaf-eared elves.

1 – Okay, let me tell you something: I do not cry. I think the last time I cried was 3 years ago and I only did so because I broke my foot. My own family calls me heartless because I’ve sat through some of the saddest movies without shedding a tear. And yet, I didn’t make it past the first chapter of “Sansukh” before the waterworks started. I have been a blubbering mess for days now and I don’t even know who I am anymore. Y’know, I made the mistake of reading chapter 35 on the bus yesterday?

2 – On the BUS. It was the stupidest thing I ever did because I started sobbing uncontrollably in front of a bunch of strangers and that was the worst. I blame you for that. I don’t know what magic you’re infusing your fic with but you need to stop because I don’t know if my heart can take much more of these feels. When you finally finish this fic, I think I might actually go the way of the elves and fade from sheer heartbreak. Just to let you know. I hope you feel bad, you terrific author, you.

omg whoa

holyyyy hannah

*shoves all the tissues at you* THANK YOU, THANK YOUUUUU THANK YOU SO SO MUCH – oh my goodness, i am gonna SCREECH here but a) the toddler is in bed, and b) it’s bad for the voice, and c) nope, gonna do it anyway: – SCREEEEEEEEECH…!

seriously, this is just such a lovely message! God, I am so so sorry about the bus ride! And no, no magic (i wishhh), just lots of tappity tapping and baking my poor brain, I suppose. NO FADING ALLOWED, NOPE. augh I really do feel a bit sheepish about that bus ride! 

SORRY AND THANK YOU, SORRY AND THANK YOU THANK YOU FOREVER!