Dets, I may not have known you very long in the grand scheme of things, but I know one thing for certain: you are the biggest piece of Bruce Banner fan trash I have ever met.
And one movie could never change that about you. Or any asshole anons for that matter. You love characters that need it the most; you’re a giver if ever there was one. A kind person that protects at all costs.
Anyway, don’t be sad. Have some Ironbanner fanart. The first of its kind. Hopefully not the last.
At least they’re getting hated on together, no?
I AM I REALLY REALLY AM, I AM BRUCEY-BABES TRASH, PUT ME IN THE BIN PLEASE, DO NOT LITTER
I was tagged by maytheelfbewithyou for the 20 beautiful people challenge! So I picked the absolute best picture of myself that I could find.
These tags are gonna be a mix of people I find insanely hot, and people I’m just curious about what their faces look like. If you don’t feel comfortable posting your no doubt beautiful mug on here, feel free to make it into a joke like I did:
(If you think this is her face when she sees Bombur ’s dead body in Chapter 35, you would be completely correct. Ow.)
One the many badass Dwarrowdams from Sansûkh by determamfidd.
I once knew someone with so many freckles they even had them on their lips, which I thought was downright beautiful. So, of course, I had to put them on freckled babe archer dwarf here.
Bomfrís is the bomb, pass it on.
Hope it’s to your liking, Dets!
AHHH MISS POP SHE IS BEAUTIFUL and also heartbreaking how very dare you
THAT SHADING ON HER HAIR? HER EYEYEYEYEYEYES!! BEARD YES YES BEARD! As a freckle-face myself I LOVE her freckles, omfg – yessssss! HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS? NEARLY AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU.
*tackleglomps*
Thank you thank you thank you FOREVER, you beautiful person!!
Congratulations! If you’ve opened this, that means you’ve sent in all your auditions for the Sansukh podfic, and have now become so riddled with excitement and dread that your very molecular structure is beginning to decay from the strain. How exciting!
You’re probably also wondering how in the heck you’re gonna survive until May 14th (it’s too late for the Dori, Loni, and Nali hopefuls, I’m afraid. RIP) and beyond. Luckily, we here at the newly rebuilt Take A Joke Inc. are here to help! By following the coping steps provided below, you are sure to get through this with only the most superficial of injuries.
Coping Socially
1.Pester the Mods
We all know that Mods–by nature–are a very forgetful lot. If they aren’t constantly reminded at least 15 times a day that they have auditions to judge, they will most certainly forget they even started a Podfic in first place. Left alone too long, the podfic will fade into nothing. Therefore, it is up to auditionees to make sure that never happens!
2. Pester the Cast
The cast is obviously nothing like you or I. They are a higher echelon of immortal being that, when looked upon directly, will cause auditionees to burst into ashes. They are so unapproachable that just typing in their URLs will make your fingers bleed. Nevertheless, if you wish to cope with the misery that is life in Sansukh Auditionee Purgatory, you’ll have to suck it up and demand they reveal the dark secrets of the Sansukh Podfic. But, if you are one who values your existence, passive-aggressively bashing the cast you’ve never spoken too is also an option, because they are the very definition of evil and uncaring. Everybody knows that.
3. Pester the Creator of Sansukh
This is perhaps the most important step. She may say she has nothing to do with the podfic process, but as a successful, independent Sansukh auditionee, it is your solemn duty to ignore that and ask anyway! Eventually, she will reveal every single secret of the Sansukh podfic that you so desperately crave, as well as the location of the Mod’s Mothership.
Coping Emotionally
1. Cry.
You’re an emotional wreck. Don’t deny it. This podfic is the single most important thing you will ever maybe participate in, so you made sure to put all your self-worth into it. Now you can reap the fruits of your labor.
2. Weep.
Bitterness is the only emotion you’re allowed to feel in the Sansukh Auditionee Purgatory. Get used to it.
3. Sob.
You wanted this! Remember that!
Coping Physically
Changes will happen, but don’t worry– you’re not alone. Here are some compiled pictures to help you realize this is a natural occurrence for all auditionees.
And, as always, please remember, “Know a Joke For a Joke & You’ll Be Stoked!” Happy waiting.
KEEP LOOKING AT THIS SELFIE. OH LOOK AT THAT SAD CHUBBY CHEEKED THING WHY OH WHY COULD SHE BE SAD? KEEP LOOKING KEEEEEP LOOKING. MAN, LOOK AT THAT HAIR? SPOOFY AND STUFF. YEAH! LOOK AT IT! WONDER AT IT.
*throws remaining audition slides at email*
OH MAN OH MAN THERE’S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT A DEFLECTING SELFIE. LOOK AT IT. DATS MEEEEE. POP. LOOK AT IT.
*oh god am I really done with auditions? Do I do I send them? fUCK*
LOOK AT DEM FUNNY EYEBROWS. ON POINT BUT SO FUNNY. HOW DO THEY CURVE LIKE THAT? SO SAD CHUBBY FACED CHIPMUNK CHILD.
**A Simple Guide to the Emotions & Reactions One May Experience During This Audition Frenzy, Aimed to Help You Understand That These Emotions Are Natural & Valid For Any Blossoming Young Piece of Fandom Trash**
Stage 1:EUPHORIA– OH BOI THEY JUST ANNOUNCED AUDITIONS! TIME TO SPORADICALLY RECORD IN A SINGLE NIGHT WHILE ATTACHED TO AN IV DRIP OF PURE CAFFEINE!!
Stage 2: RAPTUROUS JOY– HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GREAT.
Stage 3: REALIZATION-HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE SUCK.
Stage 4: BARGAINING– TIME TO FIND SOME LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS TO SHARE THESE WITH…WHY, SALUTATIONS FELLOW AUDITIONEE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY VOICE? PLEASE HEAR MY VOICE. HERE’S MY NUMBER HERE’S MY SKYPE HERE’S MY FACEBOOK HERE’S MY MYSPACE HERE’S MY VINE HERE’S MY EMAIL ADDRESSES SINCE 2003 HERE’S MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER HERE’S MY SOUL– TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK TELL ME WHATCHA THINK. INEEDVALIDATIONGODDAMMIT!
Stage 5: DEPRESSION– HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GRE- Oh wait, THESE STILL SUCK.
Stage 6: ACCEPTANCE– YOLOYOLOYOLO FUCK IT. THORIN OAKENSHIELD DIDN’T STOP TO RECONSIDER, WHY SHOULD I? #WWTOD? *send everything in one giant snot-covered email at 11:57 PM, April 30th 2015*
Now gather up that smile, refrain from checking that Tumblr page every two seconds, and sacrifice as many goats as you think wise to the Powers-That-Be.
Because: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE JUST AUDITIONED FOR SANSUKH!
Aw Yiss 