Tag: relationships

Hi, anon with the problem here again. Thanks so much for all your advice. You’re all right, I need to get him out of my life. I should’ve done it earlier but I’m not very pretty and I let him flatter me to the point that I couldn’t argue with him. Also I’m not sure if I should tell his SO – it’s probably not my place? Thanks again all of you. You make my heart full x

Beautiful Nonnie. 

*hugs*

I am honestly very relieved that you are deciding to get out. It’s not a fair situation. You are brave and amazing. You can do this. You can do this. You are worth 10000 of this person, you deserve to have honesty. You deserve your comfort to be a priority. You deserve more than this.  

ok, secondly – I have a peptalk to exorcise and by golly, you’re gonna get it, so brace yourself. 

You say ‘I’m not very pretty’ – do you know, there’s a thing I’ve discovered over time? That everyone I’ve ever known who says this? IS STUNNING. They can’t see it, though, bc we have been sold such a narrow blinkered STUPID expectation of beauty by people who want to sell us stuff. I am thoroughly certain that you are BEAUTIFUL. That your eyes shine when you are excited. That you laugh like a dream. That someone will see the way you do one small seemingly insignificant thing, say, leaning forward over a coffee table, to grab your cup, and be struck by the perfection that is your body moving in relaxed comfortable, happy harmony. Perhaps you sing. Perhaps you argue with total passion. Perhaps you dance – and there is beauty. There it is.

PLEASE believe me. I have been where you are. I am not ‘pretty’. Not the way I always imagined pretty to look, growing up. But now I know I can be beautiful – just as I know this: you. are. beautiful. 

If this man is reinforcing the idea that you are in some way NOT BEAUTIFUL, and that by paying you attention he is somehow doing YOU A FAVOUR, then cripes, I am thrilled twice over that you are removing yourself from this situation.

When it comes to telling his partner, I am honestly at a crossroads. There are several conditions to consider. You are a 19 year old who never signed up for this nonsense, and the emotional toll of such an action is pretty high – particularly if his partner decides to blame you. 

On the other hand, I do believe that his partner deserves to know. If this man has any sort of spine (or decency), he would tell them himself. 

Again, I will ask for the advice of wiser, more experienced minds here? Please help this stunningly wonderful, beautiful young Nonnie out. Anybody got any kind words for this gorgeous soul?

sweaterkittensahoy:

capostrophe:

nerdycurvyboundandflirty:

polks:

aratoamin:

IMPORTANT

This month marks 3 years away from an abusive situation i was in for 11 years. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve better.

So many folks know they don’t want to be abused but don’t know what healthy is. Here go, babies.

I want something more like this next time. 

And a reminder that this is important for romantic AND non-romantic relationships. You can be abused by your friends, but you absolutely shouldn’t be.

magegirls:

eirstegalkin:

in a healthy, close relationship of any kind, when something upsets you, you need to bring it up. as soon as possible, even. cultivate an environment in which you both can talk about things that upset you, with the utmost attention to everyone’s feelings. it’s a really simple thing to do but it’s a thing i’ve been working on for a while and i’m getting actual nice things happening as a result

Of all my posts to go super big I’m glad it was this one