**A Simple Guide to the Emotions & Reactions One May Experience During This Audition Frenzy, Aimed to Help You Understand That These Emotions Are Natural & Valid For Any Blossoming Young Piece of Fandom Trash**
Stage 1:EUPHORIA– OH BOI THEY JUST ANNOUNCED AUDITIONS! TIME TO SPORADICALLY RECORD IN A SINGLE NIGHT WHILE ATTACHED TO AN IV DRIP OF PURE CAFFEINE!!
Stage 2: RAPTUROUS JOY– HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GREAT.
Stage 3: REALIZATION-HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE SUCK.
Stage 4: BARGAINING– TIME TO FIND SOME LIKE-MINDED INDIVIDUALS TO SHARE THESE WITH…WHY, SALUTATIONS FELLOW AUDITIONEE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY VOICE? PLEASE HEAR MY VOICE. HERE’S MY NUMBER HERE’S MY SKYPE HERE’S MY FACEBOOK HERE’S MY MYSPACE HERE’S MY VINE HERE’S MY EMAIL ADDRESSES SINCE 2003 HERE’S MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER HERE’S MY SOUL– TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK TELL ME WHATCHA THINK. INEEDVALIDATIONGODDAMMIT!
Stage 5: DEPRESSION– HOLY FUCK A MOLY, THESE ARE GRE- Oh wait, THESE STILL SUCK.
Stage 6: ACCEPTANCE– YOLOYOLOYOLO FUCK IT. THORIN OAKENSHIELD DIDN’T STOP TO RECONSIDER, WHY SHOULD I? #WWTOD? *send everything in one giant snot-covered email at 11:57 PM, April 30th 2015*
Now gather up that smile, refrain from checking that Tumblr page every two seconds, and sacrifice as many goats as you think wise to the Powers-That-Be.
Because: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE JUST AUDITIONED FOR SANSUKH!
**A Helpful Companion Pamphlet to ‘The Six Simple Stages of Auditioning For the Sansukh Podfic’. Co-Produced with Take A Joke Inc.**
The Moderhater: IT’S ALL THE MOD’S FAULT, THEY JUST HATE ME AS A PERSON! I TAKE THIS IMPERSONAL PROCEDURE VERY PERSONALLY BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUSLY RIGGED! ALL THEIR FAULT! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!
The Exiled Royalty: I COULD’VE BEEN THE BEST THORIN, THE BEST GIMLI, THE BEST LEGOLAS, THE BEST EVERYONE. I’M JUST GONNA GO MAKE MY OWN SANSUKH PODFIC, WITH BLACKJACK AND HOOKERS AND FUTURAMA REFERENCES. ON SECOND THOUGHT–SCREW THE PODFIC! (often crossed with the Moderhater).
The Optimist: You know, I didn’t get a part this time around. But with a cast of 140 characters that grows by the chapter, I’m bound to get a part eventually. They haven’t even mentioned Elrond, Arwen, Eowyn, Faramir, Nienna, Orla, Theoden, Dagalur, Thira, Wee Thorin, Balinith, Frerinith, Haban, Thranduil, Elladan, Elrohir, Denethor…(deep breath) Grima Wormtongue, Saruman, or Eomer, etc. etc. I think I’ll be okay.
The Pessimist: I didn’t get a part because I am inherently flawed as a person. My voice sucks, I suck, I should just go throw myself in a trashcan. I should never attempt anything because it will always end in failure. Utter failure! Woe is me, I–oh, auditions are up again? Time to dust off the mic.
The Baris Crystaltongue Hopeful: We are Legion.
The Hobbit Hopeful: *high pitched voice* We are also Legion.
The One That Only Auditioned Because Their Friend Made Them: Yeah, I didn’t get a part in Sandshrew. Can I go home now?
The Singer: Where are the singing parts? Will there be separate auditions for singing parts? I’ll just go on anon again to ask about singing parts. Will there be singing parts? I just want a singing part (often crossed with the Baris Crystaltongue Hopeful).
The Line Counter: I will literally take any part, I swear! Just not a character with one or two lines, because that obviously means they aren’t cool enough. I want someone with substance (often crossed with the Exiled Royalty and Moderhater).
The Gollum: Preciousssssssssssss…..
The Nitpicker: So whose playing Mahal? When will Orla auditions come up? I just got your FAQ tattooed on my arm, but I still need minute details on this, this, and this–and make it snappy!
TBC…
Lastly, a disclaimer. We here at Take A Joke Inc. pride ourselves on knowing when things aren’t meant to be taken seriously. And you should, too. Our motto: “Know a Joke For a Joke & You’ll Be Stoked!” Have a great day, and happy recording!
Please give a warm welcome to our new mod, notanightlight!
She has the illustrious and daunting title of Music Director, and she is in charge of all singing-related business. If you are interested in singing for the podfic, she is who you will be dealing with. Be nice.
Hello all of you lovely singers and song enthusiasts! We are starting auditions for the first song in Sansûkh and it’s a group number. You can listen to the song by clicking Here
If you are interested in singing, please email me at iamnotanightlight@gmail.com by April 20th.
In the subject line please put: Choir audition.
Once all the singers are in, I will send an email with the separate voice parts attached and instructions how to record and send in your part. We will need both high and low voices. You do not have to be professional calibre, just be able to stay on key.
I’m going off the assumption that Arwen is going to have more lines in chapters that haven’t been written yet, so she’s going to be included in the audition process.
-Ricky Pulsifer
Yes, Arwen will be given more time later in the fic!
Seriously, Nonnie. The pitch of your voice is irrelevant, as is the accent. What matters is how well you capture the essence – the emotions – of the character.
I did the thing. I recorded every. single. possible. audition.
Story time though: I was recording for the Ringwraith last cause I knew it was gonna be the end of my voice… and so I’m hissing into the mic and making these awful screechy sounds for the hell of it. And then I hear it, this confused whimper from behind my door. I thought I was home alone. Nope, I managed to terrify the shit out of my mother.
Oops?
I had fun with all of them though. Bifur sounded a bit like he was chewing rocks I think, but I lovelovelove speaking khuzdul and working out how long-term khuzdul speech would affect an accent. That was probably my favorite out of the bunch to record.
Anyway, ignore my rambles.
TL;DR – I recorded my sansukh auditions and scared the crap out of my mother. Duel purpose recording, aw yiss.
If you are thinking of doing it but aren’t sure: DO THE THING
I’ve had dysphoria about my voice for years and never wanted to do anything to do with it. But I’ve always loved RP and reading characters, so I really wanted to do this! And I did!
So here are some of my tips ok cool:
1) record multiple recordings. I did a few (like 20…) takes for Thorin and sent off my best one – I tried a few different emotions, ways of pausing and chose things that worked.
2) decide who you really want to play. If you record for everyone because #yolo but then u cast as a character and are actually like #nolo then that’s awkward for everyone.
3) you don’t need a good mic yet. I recorded Thorin on my iPhone 5.
4) don’t be scared if you have a voice you think won’t fit. The best thing about this is that there are a load of different accents and genders of people taking part. So where you’re from or the pitch of your voice doesn’t have anything to do with this. It’s about how you read the scene and the emotion u bring.
5) if you haven’t read Sansukh, at least read the goddamn chapter you’re in. (I nearly didn’t because I hadn’t started reading Sansukh, but the chapter helped me with my emotions in that scene)
WHEN YR CAST:
5) get into the headspace of the character. It helped me as I was Thorin to spend a few days totally getting into character after I was cast. I thought more about his story and journey, read things about him, practised some of his other lines, and listened to music that reminded me of him. As Mr T is pretty deep, it helped me to stay connected to him.
Uh so yeah this is all I can think of on this train journey so. COOL
Aw Yiss 