I just finished reading both @determamfidd‘s Sansûkh and scarletjedi’s Comes around again, and now my head is full of the glory of the lady Dìs. (also, if you haven’t read this two awesome fanfictions, do so NOW. They are long, they are beautiful, they will make you rage laugh cry and they are absolutely amazing)
And now I need a fic where Dìs arrives at Erebor when Thorin is in the thrall of Gold-sickness.
Either because one of the other members of the companies sent her a message with the Ravens [or because the Ravens saw how messed up Thorin was and acted independently] or, in Comes around again, because Gimli told her that they would reach the Mountain by Durin’s Day and she refused to be let out, but arrives just as her brother is refusing to uphold his promises, and lectures him.
I have this image of Dìs in front of the gates, between the mountain and the men/elves alliance, shouting in Khuzdul at her brother to come out right now and fix this, because she would not have his reign begin as an Oathbreaker. Also, Fili and Kili better be alright or else she would skin him personnaly.
The elves and men don’t quite now what to make of this strange dwarf (the voice seems female, but he looks just like any other dwarf so what gender is the newcomer? And how comes he speaks so angrily with Thorin? Also, how dare he ignore the Elvenking?).
Bilbo is very very shocked because he did pick up some Khuzdul along the way, mostly swearwords, and the Dwarrodam seems pretty angry at his friend (to be fair, Bilbo is also pretty angry at him at the moment so he doesn’t quite begrudge her that). Also, he totally noticed that it’s a dwarrodam, but mostly because he’s been around dwarves for so long now.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Company is torn between stupor (what the hell is the Lady Dìs here?), relief (Thank the Maker, finally someone who can make Thorin see sense!) and outright fear (shit shit shit she’s angry I don’t want her angry at me! Fili, Fili, she’s going to kill us once she hears everything that happens and I’m too young and too pretty to die and what if she hears about Tauriel ?), and decide that discretion is the better part of valour. Thorin might be their King, and they would normally support him in everything (even when he’s acting like a spoiled brat like right now), but going against the Lady Dìs is not something they are willing to do, not even for Thorin. They do have some survival instincts, after all.
They exchange a look, then turn towards their illustrious leader who’s still gaping at his sister through the hole in the wall.
Balin nods. Immediately, the Ri brothers grab Thorin while the Ur cousins make quick work of their makeshift barricade to create an opening. Kili and Fili try to make themselves scarce, but are caught by Oin and Gloin.
Dwalin starts the countdown, and when he reaches three they push/throw Uncle and Nephews through the gap.
Hopefully, they pray, this offering will placate the fierce Dwarrowdam. They just faced one dragon, they do not want to face another, much scarrier, one.
THIS IS TOO FUCKING PRECIOUS AND I KINDA WISH I HADNT ALREADY WRITTEN THIS PART SO I COULD SHAMELESSLY STEAL THIS!!
“THORIN YOU GREAT LUMP OF BEARDLESS ORC DUNG, YOU GET YOUR CRAVEN HIDE OUT HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME MAHAL!!!”
Fili: you might want to go down there uncle.