Sansûkh – Sneak Peek, ch48

loves, I am working as fast as my stubby lil fingers will allow me to get this next chapter happening. It’s at 3.5K now, and I hope to have the bare bones of it sorted by this afternoon. 

I know it might be a bit… uh, famine-then-feast, but I really want to show my appreciation to everyone for their kindness, non-pressuring understanding, and patience during a rough time. 

So, anyways. Have a snippet of the draft of 48!

(*gif is totally unrelated to the chapter – I’ve been watching #GBBO lately and saw this and thought it was hilarious SORRY my sense of humour is borked as per usual)

“Show me,” were Dís’
first words after Frerin had finished his halting description of the pool of Gimlîn-zâram
and its purpose. Frerin flinched, sinking deeper into his chair by Thráin’s
hearth.

Dáin pursed his
lips. His current pig oinked disapprovingly from its place by his feet (Thorin
had long since stopped trying to tell them apart). “Warning you now: The first
time is a shocker,” he said.

“You went in too
soon,” Thorin said to him. Dáin shrugged.

“Probably, but
there’s no good time to see what you left behind you. It would have hurt either
way.”

“My whole life has
been a litany of ‘too soon’,” Dís said, her eyes hard as she raised them to her
family. “I am not afraid of loss. Show me.”

Frerin winced, but
took her hand anyway. “Seems to be my usual job,” he said apologetically.

“I’ll come get you
in a couple of hours,” Frís offered, and Dís nodded absently. She towered over
her brother as she followed him from the room. Víli’s worried gaze followed
her.

“You all right?”
Thorin murmured to him, and he glanced back, startled.

“I’m…” he began,
but broke off with a conflicted look and a huff.

“Aye,” said Thráin,
as though he knew exactly what Víli was trying to say. “She’ll be back in a few
hours, lad. She won’t disappear in a puff of smoke the moment you turn your
back!”

“I know,” Víli
said, and his head bent, ever so slightly.

“Dad,” Fíli said,
softly. Víli nodded, wordless, before he reached out with both hands and gave
both Thorin and Fíli a rough, affectionate pat on the arm.

“I’m all right.
It’s just – well,” he said, and then he stood. His smile was wry. “I don’t need
to say it, do I? I’m off to see Lóni and Frár, I guess. I want to see if Frár’s
working on anything new. Busy hands and busy mind and all that.”

“Good idea,” Thráin
said.

“I’ll go with you,”
said Fíli, still looking a little worried. “Uncle?”

Thorin shook his
head. “I want to stop in on Gimli. I won’t disturb your mother and little
uncle. I haven’t heard any report on the journey since the departure, and that
was some weeks ago.”

“They’re well into
Mirkwood by now then,” said Thráin.

Greenwood,” said Kíli, looking faintly
injured.

“I’ll go pop in on
my lad, and then I’ll stop in on that trio of idiots going East,” said Dáin,
giving his pig a scratch beneath its bristly chin. It gave him a limpid-eyed
look of bliss.

“You just want to
coo at the babies again,” accused Víli. “Not foolin’ anyone.”

Dáin shrugged
again, grinning freely. “Who can blame me?”

“Nobody,” Thráin
laughed, and pushed Dáin’s shoulder a little. “Nobody at all. Get on with you,
then. Stop hogging all the heat from my fire.”

“Want company?”
Kíli offered as Thorin stood and stretched a little.

“It will likely be
very dull,” he warned Kíli, but he nevertheless fell into step at his side as
they left Thráin’s rooms. Custard was stretched out before the hearth, boneless
and loose with her tongue slightly protruding. She didn’t even stir at the
sound of so many booted feet passing at once.

“I can do dull,”
Kíli said, affronted. Thorin sent him a sidelong look as they began the walk, and
the lad gave an offended little grunt. “I can!”

“If you wish to
come along, then I’m glad to have you. My usual companion is busy,” Thorin
said, and didn’t allow a hint of a smile to cross his lips. “Your little uncle
is doing a far more important task right now.”

“And I’m not going
to get underfoot either, no matter how much I want to,” Kíli said, and his jaw
firmed. “He and Mum are fine. So let’s go see Gimmers and tease him a bit.”

“Unkind, nidoyel.”

“Pfft, he’s a grown
lad now, he can take it,” Kíli dismissed.

“He’s one hundred
and forty, nearly twice your age,” Thorin said, amused.

“My age when I died,” protested Kili. “I’m still
older than him!”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Thorin said, and the shining
door of the Chamber of Sansukhûl rose before them as they turned the corner. Dís,
Frerin and Frís were already crowded around the far end, their eyes glowing in
the radiance of the pool.

“Well, don’t you
still consider yourself older than Dáin and Mum?” Kíli challenged, and Thorin
paused in the act of taking his bench.

“Right. Fair point. Let’s not speak of it again,” he said, and threw himself into
Middle-Earth as quickly as he was able.

TBC…

Sansûkh Sneak Peek #2 – ch47

IT’S COMING I PROMISE. Not swiftly, bc work/life/everything is a lot rn, but it IS coming! In the meanwhile, have some more sneaky peekiness!

Starring: a friendly, clever nb Dwarven guard, a grim shortarse homesick elf (who might be learning a hell of a lot), and an Orocarni Princess-in-exile with a chip on her shoulder and dreams of freedom in her heart. 

And Plans.

image

“So, let’s get a plan together,” Jeri said, sitting back
comfortably. They had lit a small fire, and all around them the great red
desert stretched as far as the eye could see. Small scrubby bushes dotted the
parched earth, and giant monoliths of red rock were interspersed with swathes
of fibrous grasses, tough and dry. The night sky reached into infinity above
them, and new constellations could be made out on the Eastern horizon. “What do
we have?”

“The element of surprise,” answered Kara moodily. “And
nothing else.”

Laindawar frowned at her. “That is not true. That is useless
talk.”

“Well, I don’t see what else we have,” she snapped back. “I’ve
lived in the Ghomal my whole life: I know it as you never can. And I tell you,
we are hopelessly overmatched… I have no idea how to begin.”

“We begin by pooling our assets,” Jeri said, as Laindawar
drew himself up to retort. “No, shut up. Really, shut up. All right. Laindawar,
you won’t be able to pass unnoticed in the Orocarni. I have no idea if there
are Elves in the East at all… so you will stand out like a big blond boil on
someone’s nose.”

Laindawar’s lip curled. Kara sniggered.

“So we make use of that. You’re new, you’re unusual, you’re
going to draw attention. Folks will want to know all about you: what you can
do, your people, all of that. You’re a crown prince, too. We can make you a big
shiny Elven distraction while Kara here gets people whispering.”

“Are you suggesting that I should be a figurehead?””
Laindawar asked incredulously. Jeri looked faintly amused.

“Not at all, Highness. You’re trained as a warrior, but you’ve
no doubt had a few millennia of polite and princely niceties shoved down your
throat, yes?”

Laindawar gave a curt nod, lips pressed together.

“Then you know how to lay a word or two in the right ear.
You know how to use a phrase to get people thinking. You know how to grease the
right palm.” Jeri clasped their hands on their stomach and tapped them in
thought. “Kara, who do we really need to get to? The folks most in need of
sanctuary?”

“It depends,” she said, glancing up at Laindawar. “There
will be political dissenters and prisoners:  they will be under intense scrutiny if still
free, and if captured they will be guarded day and night. There are many who
simply live quietly and fearfully. Snitching on your neighbours is not only
encouraged, it is highly praised. There are few places in which to think or
talk freely. The Cult of Sauron is paranoid, and it makes them ever-vigilant.
We will be watched intently.”

“What of your mother?” Jeri asked gently. “Does she not need
to escape?”

Kara clammed up immediately, her eyes blazing.

“Perhaps leave that enquiry for another day, mellon,”
Laindawar murmured.

“And yourself,” Jeri said, adroitly side-stepping the
awkward silence. “You were a political exile, no? Will you be arrested on
sight?”

Kara frowned. “Maybe. Or maybe not. Exile yes, but I am
still Crown Princess, and there will be some who see my return as the
reestablishment of stability and continuity. We will need to gain the ear of
the Treasurer, Korvir. She holds the purse-strings of the kingdom, and thus a
great deal of power and influence. She is no friend to the Cult, but they
cannot oust her while she controls the coin of the realm.”

“A concealment, perhaps?” Laindawar wondered.

“No-one is going to believe you are a Dwarf, no matter how
short you are for Elvenkind,” Kara snorted.

Jeri coughed, and Laindawar growled beneath his breath. “That
wasn’t what was intended,” Jeri said, and laid a calming hand on Laindawar’s
arm. “Easy there, friend. No, I think you were suggesting that we disguise Kara
herself, aye?”

Laindawar gave another short nod. Kara nearly shot to her
feet in outrage.

“I will do no such thing! Lies and deceit are the way of the
enemy! I will return to my halls as myself and with my own name, or not at all!”

“Peace! Peace,” Laindawar said, and he shook his head. His hair
was rusty gold in the firelight. “I did not suggest that you pretend to be
someone you are not. Only that you wear your veils, as Ashkar does, and give no
name until we are sure of the lay of the land. Then we may reveal you.”

“Oh.” She chewed her lip. “I suppose that may work. If you
can dazzle them with your Elven snobbishness, then get them wondering… yes,
then it may be safe enough to come forth, or at least too awkward and public to
attack me without reprisal or question. What about you, though?” she turned to
Jeri, “you’re never going to pass for a Blacklock Dwarf.”

“Nope,” Jeri said cheerfully. “I’m Jeri child of Beri, aide
and guard to the great Prince Laindawar, Elven adventurer and explorer,
etcetera and so forth. If he and I are noisy, showy and flashy and new, then we may conceal you as a guide and
interpreter before we make our big reveal.”

“Great Prince Laindawar,” repeated Laindawar, flatly.

“Etcetera and so forth,” Kara said, eyes dancing.

“I’ve never been this far from home before,” Laindawar said.
“I’ve never even left the Greenwood before this year. My youngest brother had
the wanderlust, not I!”

“Yes, I know, but we have to get folks interested. That way, we can begin our campaign of whispers.” Jeri
squared their shoulders. “All right, so what else have we got? Skills, I’ll
start. I’m a warrior, I favour the axe and the sword, I’ve an excellent head
for planning but a terrible grasp on numbers sadly. I will be of little help
there – they turn inside out when I try. I’m good at spotting a problem, and at
getting out of a tight spot. I can mine and sing, I’m a fair cook, and I can
talk friendly-like to anyone.”

“That last is useful, for I cannot,” Laindawar said. “I am
also a warrior, and have been solitary for much of my life. I cannot make small
chatter. It is not in my nature.”

“So you stand and look impressive and enigmatic, and I’ll do
all the talking,” Jeri laughed. “You should be good at that.”

“Droll,” Laindawar said, dry as the dust all around them. “My
weapons are the sword and bow. I have knowledge of statecraft and history and
healing herbs. I am a woodsman and tracker, and I can settle beasts and birds
of the sky.”

“Is it true that Elves don’t really need to sleep?” Kara
said, leaning in with a sort of fascinated worry.

“We are creatures of flesh, just as you are,” Laindawar
said. “But we need little sleep in comparison to you.”

“Good thing, for we’ll need Elven vigilance where we’re
going,” Jeri said. “Kara?”

She sighed. “I can fight, but not
to any great mastery. I only gained my journeyship in the art of dual swords,
and I was removed from my place before I could finish. I was taught to be a
quiet ornament, when I was taught anything at all.”

“But you have skills and passions,
do you not?” Laindawar prompted her. A strange sympathy was rising in his heart. 

She looked up at him, and her huge dark eyes were imploring.
“Ashkar was the one who cared… my mother, she. But yes. Ashkar taught me to
debate and to speak to the truth in other people. They taught me how to be an
orator. I don’t think they meant to,” she added, laughing a little
self-deprecatingly. “Not at first. But they did anyway. Couldn’t help it. Ashkar
saw all the words trapped inside me and encouraged me to string them together:
to turn them into arguments and reason. Ashkar is a historian, a lecturer, as
well as a politician, but in their heart of hearts, they’re an academic first
and foremost. A teacher. And that was their undoing. All the thinkers have been
silenced, just as I was expected to be silent.”

“Well now!” Jeri said, and nudged her gently. “THAT is a
skill worth having. D’you know how rare it is to find a charismatic leader?
Believe me. We can get the people interested, sure. But you, Kara – you’re the one who is going to capture
their hearts and minds. You’re going to lead them to freedom.”

“All those thinkers,” Laindawar said, “they will have
stopped speaking, certainly, for it is not safe. But they will not have stopped thinking. Yours will be
the first voice, and others will follow.”

She looked rather lost. “I…I… just want them to be safe. I
want us all to be safe, as it once was,
as it used to be when grandmother was alive. I want-”

“Looks like you’re the chosen one, kiddo,” Jeri told her,
and gave her forehead a smacking kiss. “Now sleep, you’re gonna need it. I’ll
start teaching you some more swordplay in the morning, and the prissy twig here
can quiz you some more about being royalty in the Ghomali court, and all that
stuff. We’ve got the bare bones of a plan, so let’s not waste the night with
more talk.”

“I will sing to the stars,” Laindawar announced abruptly, and at Kara’s
imploring face he added, “I will not go far. Whatever we must do, Kara, we will
help them find safety. I promise you.”

She sighed, and lay down at a safe distance from the fire. “I
don’t know if I want to be a Chosen one,” she mumbled as she tugged her blanket
up over her shoulders.

“Just a fancy way of saying, ‘here is a dirty, difficult job
with lots of pain involved, and a faint glimmer of glory at the end of it’,”
Jeri said, yawning. “That’s if you get to
the end of it. In my experience, things don’t really end so much as change. Night,
all. Nice to be co-conspirators with you. Here’s to another day of trudging through
a desert full of bugger-all in the morning.”

Laindawar stood, watching the two Dwarves curl up for a long
moment, motionless and patient as only Elves can be. Kara looked
astonishingly young as her face relaxed into rest, and Jeri seemed oddly
unfinished without their usual glib humour shining in deep brown eyes.

The stars felt very distant as he stepped away, out upon the
endless plains of the North. Perhaps forty leagues back West, the Iron Hills
dreamed their Iron dreams. Even further West lay Erebor, and south of that, his
home. Green and still and ancient, cloaking all in warmth and in the slow soft voices of trees. He could taste the homesickness upon his tongue as clearly as the hardtack and waybread of their evening meal. 

No place had ever seemed as unlike his home as this. Red
and sparse and parched, it was as different from Eryn Lasgalen as day from
night. He missed his home with an ache that he could feel in his teeth. He missed the sounds of his own tongue, the whispers of his beloved trees.

Yet he could not turn away, could not return. Evil still lay
plotting in the world, and Sauron had taken too many homes already. Glancing
back at the small, stout form of Kara, his resolve hardened.

They were much alike, though he could never have understood that only a handful of months ago. Indeed, he would have poured scorn upon the notion. But there it was: they shared an intense love of homeland and people, a fierce protectiveness, a willingness – nay, an eagerness – to fight. Laindawar’s home was free of shadow now. But hers had been stripped from her, all in one cruel blow.

Yes, a strange sympathy indeed. But he could acknowledge it now. 

(Even if she bickered and snapped and grumbled upon every
second word.)

Change is the way of the world. We change, or we are left behind. Jeri had been right. Jeri was often right, he was learning. The cheerful, chatty Dwarf might just be one of the most intelligent people he had ever met.

“A young hopeful Queen, and her tactician,” he murmured. “And
what does that make you, Laindawar of the Greenwood?”

“A deadly weapon in a crown and silly silk robes,” Jeri mumbled.
“Shut up and sleep, Highness. We’ve got a long way to go.”

Sansûkh Sneak Peek – Ch47

Hey so I knooooow it has been ages since I updated. I’ve been having a real pencil-scribble of a brain time lately. I’ve either got tons of energy (for anything that isn’t writing!) or I am very listless and tired. I’m ok, it’s just a bit hard to get a grip atm! Dumb pencil-scribble brain, gaaaah

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anyway! 

Here is my wordcount update on ch47: 5K

And here is a lil sneak peek. Hope you enjoy!


“So. You have answered my summons at last, daughter of the
forest.”

Hröa. New hröa.
She had died, she had stormed the dark fortress, and…

“And far sooner than I had anticpated.”

She blinked her eyes, feeling the breath rush in and out of
her lungs, the expansion and contraction of her ribs, as she had never noticed
it before. Her toes scraped against the ground as she slowly stood up. Her skin
felt unbearably sensitive, as though rough cloth were being pressed against it,
though it was no more than the whisper of air around her limbs.

It was too bright, but she could just make out that her
hands were as she remembered them. This flesh was identical to the old, just as all the tales had promised.

Then she took in the gigantic figure stooping over her, and
her newly-beating heart nearly stopped yet again. “My Lord… Mandos?”

“Námo, if you please. Mandos is the name of my realm.”
The Vala was neither young, nor old. His skin was deep bronze, and the piercing
glow of the moon came from his eyes, etching the edges of the room in stark white and grey. His hair and body were swathed in scarves of many colours,
covered in fantastical designs so intricate and dizzying that they defied the eye. They wafted around him, blurring his silhouette, drifting about like ghostly tendrils.

She shrank back.

“I did not expect to see you for several centuries yet,” he
continued, and straightened up. The scarves floated in the air about him, as
though an unseen wind were toying with them. Half-hidden in this cloud of
complexity, he moved back politely to allow her some space in which to recover.
“Those who refuse my summons and my halls do not tend to change their minds as
readily as you have.”

“I did not change my mind,” she said, bravely lifting her
face to that moonglow. “I do not know why I have come, nor why I have been
given this new form. I would have stayed in my trees, entombed beneath the stones. There is nothing for me
here.”

“Hmm.” The Vala waved a hand (or was it a scarf?) at a table
which had suddenly appeared. “You are the daughter of that wood indeed:
stubborn, thorny and hard. There are clothes for you here, at least. Choose which pleases
you best.”

“It is my home,” she said, and as hurriedly as she was able
she dragged on a pair of green hose and a brown tunic. Her colours. “It is
where I would have my body remain.”

“You are an Elf, child,” said Námo quietly. “You cannot be elsewhere. Your very
essence is tied to the world. You may refuse the summons, but it only prolongs
the inevitable: this was always meant to happen. Your re-embodiment is the fate
of all Elves. Most find it a relief.”

“I am not most Elves,” she growled, shoving her feet into a
sturdy pair of boots. “I want to go back.”

“Why?”

That stopped her for a moment, but she firmed her jaw
nevertheless. “I left great evil behind me, roosting in the branches of my
home,” she said. “I will return and destroy it, now that I am whole once more.”

“Ah! Rejoice, then, daughter of the trees! For the evil has
been destroyed as you drifted beyond all hope of news.” Námo smiled,
and she was momentarily dazzled by the flash of his teeth. “The enemy has been
thrown down and can never be reborn, for his greatest and chiefest weapon was
in the end, the instrument of his destruction. No shadows will crawl from Dol
Guldur in the days and decades to come. It is destroyed, and not a stone remains.”

She stared up at him, overwhelmed by the glow and the myriad
patterns of his scarves and scarcely believing it. “Dead? Sauron is dead?”

“He is. I have turned him away, and he shall lie trapped in
the void until the Sun and the Moon both perish. This I swear to you.”

“And is that prophecy?” She sat down heavily, and stared at
her fingers. The lines and creases of her palms were exactly as before – the
stark harsh light painted them in black and grey upon her skin.

“It is truth.”

“How did this happen?” She looked up again. It was difficult
to say whether the movement was scarves or arms as the Vala drew closer once
more.

“Through trial and terror, bravery and fellowship,” he
said, and his smile pierced her again. “And love, of course. It is a tale long in the telling.
Therefore we must find a time long enough, and begin. As for you, I may hazard
a guess. Though the mightiest of the Elves yet in Middle-Earth were the ones
responsible for the fall of Dol Guldur, it was Aiwendil that sowed the earth in
the aftermath. He was a pupil of Yavanna before his journey, and it was his
task to protect the Olvar and Kelvar of Middle Earth. He has fulfilled his
task.”

“I do not understand.”

He considered her. “You stayed to protect your forest, did
you not? You gave the last of your strength, even unto your last breath, to rid it of evil.”

She nodded dumbly.

“Thanks to the Wizard, it is no longer in need of protection.
It is cleansed. It is free.”

She blinked. The knowledge sank heavily into her, as though
it was a stone and she a still woodland pool.

Then she said, “what do I do now? Where shall I go?”

The Vala’s expression was shrewd. “I, famously, have little
in the way of pity. I suggest you seek out a new purpose, Elfling.”

She sat motionless for another moment. Then her head whipped
up, an impossible hope flaring in her breast. “You see all those who die, do
you not?”

“That is my purpose.”
He sounded stern now, as though he anticipated her next question. “I see them,
yes. They are my charge. But only those of Elven blood may pass through my
borders. The Men and Hobbits and Orcs go on, to a place even I cannot see. Only
Eru Illuvatar knows their destination.”

She took a huge breath. “And Dwarves?”

He drew back, his scarves flaring in shock. “What?”

She scrambled to her feet. “What of the Dwarves? Where do they go? Do they also move beyond, to a
place you cannot see? Or do they stay as the Elves do?”

Stiffly, he answered, “They stay. But not under my care.”

Her heart began pounding with a new challenge. “Where? Under
whose care?”

But Námo was silent.

She spun on her heel, and all at once there was a door where
there had been none before. “Is that the way out? To Aman and beyond?”

“It is.”

“I will find where the Dwarves go,” she promised him, and
raced for the door. “I will!”

“Unusual girl,” he murmured as she disappeared into the
fields. “Perhaps I should warn

Aulë… or then again, perhaps not.”

After all, he was owed a surprise after that nonsense with Irmo, the Dwarf, the Hobbit, and the Olórë Mallë.


hröa

– body 

(fëa was the name for Spirit. Elven spirits are tied to the world, even after death. This is the reason that they are re-embodied by Mandos after death. They are meant to exist as long as Arda does.)

Olórë Mallë  – the path of dreams. Mortals can see Valinor in their dreams – the only way they can visit (apart from a handful of exceptions who could take the straight path). This is how Bilbo has been visiting Thorin in his sleep. Irmo (Lorien) is in charge of it. And Irmo is

Námo’s brother. 

Mandos – He is usually known by this name. But his true, and less common name, is

Námo. I just really like the idea that EVERYBODY calls him Mandos no matter how many times he has corrected them over the eons.

Aiwendil – Radagast. He was indeed a Maia of Yavanna.

The Dizzying Scarves –

Námo’s wife is Vairë, the weaver. :)))

The Doom of Men (and Hobbits) – they are not re-embodied, as the Elves are, because they are not eternally tied to the world. When they die, they go to a place that even Mandos does not know.

Sansûkh – Sneak-peek ch44

so, current word count is… higgledy-piggledy. I have lots of different bits written, but at this rate they are gonna be scattered over the next three chapters. I still have to connect the dots, fill in the blank spaces, and then trim the dead wood. AUGH. 

ANYWAY! Here’s a little snippet. It may not make it into the next chapter, not sure yet, but I like it – and so here it is! For anyone who was wondering how Dis feels about Thranduil being in the Mountain… enjoy 😉

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“Gimris tells me you have set your son to harassing her,”
Dis said. Her jaw was set and hard, and her eyes were flat.

Vili could see the stiffness in her limbs which told of
aching joints, the carefully-concealed tremor in her hands. She was so tired,
he thought, and closed his eyes to master himself.

“Princess, a pleasure to see you again,” Thranduil said, and
he rose in a smooth liquid movement and crossed to the sideboard. It should
have looked ungainly for him to use furniture so laughably small, but he
somehow managed to make it graceful. “Wine?”

“I am no longer a Princess,” Dis said. “And I would ask you
not to ignore what I just said.”

“I have asked him to find out all he can about this Gimli,”
Thranduil said, turning back to her. He had two glasses in his hands. “I
apologise that he has antagonised the Lady.”

“I ask you to ask him to stop bothering her at work. She is
a busy Dwarrow,” Dis said. “He does not endear his brother to her.”

Thranduil’s eyebrows rose slightly, as though he had not
even considered that. “She would not treat Legolas poorly…”

“No more than Elves would treat Dwarves poorly,” Dis
retorted, swift as a dagger in the side. “No more than an Elf would see a
starving child and turn away.”

Thranduil regarded her in stony silence for a second. “You
were that child.”

Her steely eyes narrowed. “As well you know.”

Thranduil held out the glass of wine to her, wordless. She
glared at it for a moment, before taking it in one crook-fingered hand. Her
breath was coming fast. “I’m one of the last ones left from that time,” she
said then, and took a large gulp.

“I am not sorry that we did not attack the dragon,”
Thranduil said, and his voice was strangely muted.

Dis looked up from her contemplation of her glass. “But you
are sorry for other things, aren’t you?”

Thranduil did not answer. He took a small sip of his own
glass, and his eyes did not leave hers.

She did not flinch from that unearthly, piercing gaze, and
neither did she look away. “Silver and steel all through, my darling,” Vili
murmured.

“Please take a seat,” Thranduil said eventually, and he
gestured with his goblet towards the low couches. “You should not be…”

“Standing so long, at my age?” Dis finished for him, and her
lip twitched. “No, perhaps not. I did not think you would understand that.”

“Perhaps I am learning.”

“Perhaps.” Dis’ look over the rim of her glass was
measuring. Nevertheless, she slowly made her way to a chair and eased into it.
“Well? I’m not going to be the only one sitting.”

Thranduil blinked at her bluntness, and Vili let out an
involuntary snort. Then the Elvenking made his way to a couch, and folded
himself upon it. His robes trailed upon the floor.

“Everything’s too small for you, eh?” Dis took a sip, and
watched him as he watched her back. “Now that we can access the wood and open the
quarries again, we’ll look into making some Elf-sized rooms. You can’t be
comfortable.”

“Is this an attempt at shaming me for my own lack of
hospitality?” Thranduil said, leaning forward. “I swear to you, it will not
work.”

“I don’t expect you have enough compassion for dwarves in
you to feel shame for how you have treated us,” Dis said calmly, and she took
another sip. “What matters is that you’re learning. Maybe one day you will.”

“I am several millennia older than you.”

“Congratulations.”

Vili stuffed a hand into his mouth. “Oh, my lark, you wicked thing,” he sniggered.

“It has been suggested that I cannot change so drastically.”
Thranduil took a careful sip of wine, and watched her some more. “What is your
belief, First Advisor?”

She shrugged. “People change. I’m guessing that goes for
Elves as well as Dwarves. Sometimes they change because they want to. Sometimes
they’re changed whether they like it or not.”

“I find that simplistic.”

“Once, you looked upon me as a child and called me
Princess,” she said, and tipped her head. Her voice was still perfectly level,
and her gaze crackled in the air between them “Then you saw that child wandering
homeless and starving, and turned away. Then you came to us with weapons in
your hand, and made siege upon our home. Then you sent aid to our people when
no other would. Then you fed us when we were starving. Now you greet me as
‘Princess’ once again, invite me into your rooms and offer me wine and a chair
for my old bones.”

Thranduil considered that. Then he lifted his glass in wordless
acceptance.

“Let me tell you a tale, Thranduil Oropherion,” she said,
and leaned back in her chair. “I was a jeweller in Ered Luin. My hands shied
from gold. I loved the touch of silver and moonstones, like shards of starlight
made solid. Yet I worked in steel, for there was little joy in the making in
that cold hard place, and my family needed to eat.

“One terrible day, I held a letter in my hand. It had been
sent from my cousin Balin. It told me that my sons and brother were dead. I was
the last. My entire family, wiped out, erased. My children slaughtered. My
brother murdered. I was alone, and I was forgotten in my grief as our people
struggled to live after our tragedy.

“Gimli came to me. Half a child still, his beard only just
sprouting. I raged at him.” Her lips were tilted in a faint smile at the
memory. “Oh, how I attacked him. That brave lad stood his ground in the face
of my howling anger and sorrow, and told me I was not alone. He called me aunt. He held me as I
wept.”

She put her glass upon the side-table, and stood with a soft
grunt of effort, straightening her back. “He came back every day,” she added.
“Every day.”

Thranduil was frowning slightly as he watched her leave.

thanks for reading ❤

Sansûkh Sneak Peek – Ch43

hey all! In the wake of CHAPTER FIVE OF THE PODFIC (omFGGGGGG) BEING RELEASED (pause for rapturous shrieking) I thought i’d celebrate by giving everybody a taste of Chapter 43!

Before you read this, though, you should absolutely listen to ch5 of the @sansukhpodfic OKAY. okay.

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Current wordcount update for ch43: 5.5K

SNEAKYPEEKINESS UNDER THE CUT 🙂


First of all – 
WASN’T THE PODFIC AMAZING??????????

I KNOW RIGHT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! EVERYONE MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH – RIGHT BEFORE THEY DESTROYED ME SO MUCHAAAAAAH

SANSUKH CH43 excerpt
(DRAFT 2)

The hours began to turn slower, and slower, then the days. Time had become so precious during the last weeks of the Ring War that every second had been filled to capacity, squeezed until it squeaked. Now, there was such a thing as leisure. There were moments purely for pleasure and interest.

Thorin played cards with Frerin and Vili, fought a practice-duel or two with Dáin, played his harp with Frís, and spent time in the smithy with Thráin. His steps became calmer, his posture more relaxed. The dark thoughts drifted through his mind on occasion, and yet they did not take root and grow as they once had. He made new dies for drawing wire, helped Bifur make a toy clockwork Oliphaunt, and gifted his mother with the completed oil-lamp. His eyes grew clearer, his hands rough and burn-scarred as they had once been. His sleep was dreamless. His days began to stretch out before him.

Once, Thorin would have thought them empty. Dead and dismal, hopeless and pointless. Now, they seemed full of potential, of possibilities. His workshop was covered in plans and sketches and pictures.

He watched his beard lengthen in the mirror by the day, and wondered what would happen next.

“Here.”

Bani looked up through bleary eyes from the charts beneath her hands. A cup was before her, sitting on a tray. Steam rose from its lip. She blinked, and a plate with breadrolls and eggs and a slice of cold venison came into focus beside the cup. “Eh?”

“You haven’t eaten in seven hours,” said the voice, amused and worried all at once. Bani took off her glasses with sluggish movements. Her back ached, reminding her that she had barely shifted position all that time. Her eyes stung and ached as she looked up into the face of Baris. “Do me a favour and get this into you?”

“How’s that a favour to you?” she mumbled, her hand fumbling the cup. A gulp later, and warmth flooded her insides, unwinding the tension and the slight nausea that had settled there without her notice. “Oh Mahal, that is good. Thank you, Songbird.”

Baris sat on the edge of her drafting-table, her brows drawn together. “What are you working on that’s so important? Things have calmed down considerably, after all.”

“Designing new storehouses,” Bani said, and yawned. “Everyone seems to have forgotten, but that damn woman is still out there. Scheming, probably.”

Baris’ frown deepened. “There’s no danger of starvation now. Perhaps she’ll leave us alone.”

“No, we’re not going to starve, and all chance of power has been put out of her reach. But who knows what she’ll do for revenge?” Bani yawned again. “She’s the type to want to be ‘proved’ right, even when she’s horribly, horribly wrong. I’m not one to repeat my mistakes. So, we have to design something safer than the old storerooms, and I don’t see anybody else doin’ it. On top of that, the Elves keep wanting things made in wood. I’ve had barely any time to scratch, considering. We need more carpenters in this bloody mountain, frankly: we’ve an embarrassment of stonemasons and bugger-all folk who know what to do with a tree, other than burn it.”

“You need sleep,” Baris said, smiling a little. “You’re ranting.”

“I know.” Bani smiled back at her. Their eyes met, and there was a little pause. “After I’ve eaten. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

Baris put the tray down upon the table, and her fingers lingered upon the back of Bani’s hand. “I wanted to,” she said.  Her beautiful voice was hopeful and low. “It’s… it’s an idea I’m trying out.”

Bani laughed, brief and rough in her scratchy throat, remembering the rushed conversation about ideas and success before dousing the fire. “And do you think this one’ll work?”

Baris’ eyes were warm and very, very soft. “I hope so.”

The morning air was still chill with the last lingering traces of the night. The early hawkers were beginning to set up in the market squares. Much of the rubble had been cleared, but there were still scars everywhere one looked: shattered buildings and missing walls, blade-marks upon wood and stone.

Alone, Gimli marched through the city with purpose in his stride. Many of the market-folk looked up and watched him pass, and he nodded courteously to their greetings. It appeared that he was still something of a curiosity to the folk of Minas Tirith. Yet their gossip was good-natured and did not seem to bother him any longer. He evidently had other things on his mind.

“…need it to rhyme with fast,” he muttered to himself, and shook his beard in annoyance.

Pushing open the smithy-door, he called out to the owner, a Man called Iorlas, the uncle of Pippin’s young friend Bergil. “T’is Gimli, as arranged!”

“You begin the day early, Master Dwarf!” came the shout in reply. “I’ll be down later, once I’m dry and dressed and fed. Would you care for some tea? I’ve the kettle brewing.”

“None for me, thank you, but the kindness is appreciated!” Gimli yawned a bit and scratched at his neck, mumbling absently as he thought. “Past, cast, last – night gathers fast? Hmm. Night gathers fast – aye, possibly. Possibly.”

“Something on your mind?” Thorin asked, and Gimli nearly shouted in surprise, leaping about and clutching at his own chest in his shock.

“You utter bastard,” he gasped, and Thorin threw back his head and laughed. He had never had that effect before, and it was far more gratifying than he’d imagined.

“I’ll knock next time, shall I?”

Gimli rumbled in irritation, scowling at thin air. “You’re a right sod, Thorin Oakenshield. All right, now that you’ve taken at least a decade off my life, what’s the matter?”

Thorin sat down, and then adjusted his seat. The chairs here were far too tall: impossible, even for a ghost. “Why should something be the matter?”

“Isn’t there always a new problem?” Gimli said, and he rolled up his sleeves and took up the bellows for the forge. He began to pump, slow strong pulls that brought the dying embers back from their nightly slumber.

“Pessimist! This is most unlike you, Gimli.” Thorin frowned a little. “Well, I suppose there is one concern. Your father has received your letter.”

Gimli’s rhythm only faltered the smallest amount, and his eyes flattened in determination. Yet his mouth did not tighten, and nor did he flinch. “Already? That was a swift raven, then.”

“Thranduil has also received his.”

“Hmm. I expect they are sending missives of accusation back and forth between the Mountain and the Wood?”

“Not… precisely,” Thorin sighed. “Thranduil is wintering at Erebor. He has brought food enough to save them from starvation. The war has softened him towards us, it seems. Yet upon this news I half-expected him to withdraw his aid. Still, despite his shock and anger, he stays, though they nearly came to blows…”

“Oh Mahal’s teeth,” Gimli said, his eyes very wide. His voice was weak. “Oh mahumb.”

“The timing was not the best, no,” Thorin agreed. “That, or you have inherited a touch or two of my poor luck.”

“Dad’s all right, isn’t he?” Gimli’s hands gripped the bellows-handle tightly, as though around the haft of an axe. “He’s not as young as he was, and Thranduil might have… He suffered no injury?”

“Neither struck the other, thank Durin.” Gimli’s shoulders sagged in relief. “They bristle and scowl and make comments under their breath. The air is as frosty as the Grinding Ice itself, but thank Mahal that no blood has been shed. They both believe themselves to be viciously betrayed, however, and quite emphatically hate and despise the other.”

“Well, that’s rubbish,” Gimli said, sounding much more like himself. “Dad didn’t do anything rash in his temper, did he?”

“Your sister and mother had sense enough to talk your father down, as did Legolas’ brother Laerophen.”

“Legolas’ brother?” Gimli perked up. “You know him?”

“I’ve watched him, aye.” Thorin cleared his throat, feeling unaccountably annoyed, all of a sudden. “He is… not the worst Elf I’ve met.”

Gimli snorted. “Don’t hurt yourself. What do you make of him?”

“Wouldn’t you prefer to ask Legolas?”

“Legolas will answer like an Elf who has known his brother for years beyond words. I would have the answer of a Dwarf, who knows and cares for us both. I would hear my guide’s opinion, if I could.”

“Gimli, you have been my guide in more ways than you can ever understand,” he began, but he was interrupted by Gimli’s quiet snort.

“Thorin, my kinsman and my king. You’ve led me through every challenge and peril on this quest. You’ve given me news and hope and advice, even when I was too foolish to listen to you. If you’re about to disavow your place in my life and my heart, then you can shut it right there.” Gimli’s voice was warm and gruff with affection, and it struck Thorin then: Gimli loved him in return.

How odd; how very unexpected! Thorin had thought for so long that it was Gimli who gave him direction and hope. He had simply assumed… but perhaps it worked both ways. Perhaps he had been more than a bodiless voice upon the wind; perhaps Gimli was as grateful for Thorin as Thorin was for Gimli.

“Then I will count myself fortunate,” Thorin said, softly.

Gimli grinned. “I the pessimist and you the optimist. There’s a change of tune!”

“So what are you doing here?” Thorin looked about the small room, nowhere near as lavishly appointed or spacious as a Dwarven forge.

“Taking your advice.” Gimli pressed the bellows down for a final time, before wiping off his forehead. “Preparations for the coronation are proceeding apace, and both Legolas and I are not of any use to them. So we have made ourselves busy. I have been with the crews, clearing the rubble from the city. Legolas has been working hard with the new white sapling in the upper courtyard – this gardening business is smelly and incomprehensible work, to me – but then, he says much the same of mine. Still, so long as he is mucking about in manure and the like, I’ll treasure my ignorance as long as I have it! Now I have a task of my own, which I would keep a secret, if I can.” He blotted the sweat upon his neck, before dipping a hand into his tunic and drawing forth the little flattened gold disc.

“Ah. You’re making the marriage-bead,” Thorin realised. “Good idea.”

“You’re only saying that because it was your idea,” Gimli said, laughing.

“Naturally!” Thorin chuckled, and leaned back. “So, how do you plan to shape it?”

Gimli suddenly looked rather sheepish. It was odd, to Thorin, to suddenly see this Dwarf, after all he had endured and braved, fidgeting and shuffling like a lad of forty. “Um. Well, I’ve not had much occasion to work in gold…”

“You – you can’t work in gold,” Thorin said, flatly.

“I’m no’ a smith!” Gimli threw up his hands. “I’ve been a miner an’ a warrior, I can write and sew, stone-call and spelunk, dance a jig, brew beer, cook and sing and turn my hand to my fiddle well enough. But I’ve always been a disaster in a smithy! I’ll do my best, but I know it will not be all that Legolas deserves. How can I make anything to fit his beauty? But I must try. I’ve found this place and Iorlas is kind enough to let me spoil good metals in it. Yet I fear I’m about to ruin the reputation of all our people, fumbling about the way I am.”

Thorin threw back his shoulders and pushed himself out of the too-high chair. “Gimli, I was never lucky enough to work in gold too often in my lifetime, but I was and am a damned good smith. I can teach you.”

Gimli looked very dubious. “Are you sure about that? I mean, I can’t even see you demonstrate.”

“I can tell you what to do. You’ve nimble hands and a quick mind: I can teach you,” Thorin repeated, before adding, “for instance, the fire’s too hot. That blaze would melt steel, after all your efforts! And you need a ceramic cup. And tongs. Have you the fire-touch?”

“Aye, for what use I’ve made of it,” Gimli said, bewildered, but there was a dawning hope in his face. “But, Melhekhel – as you say, the bead is gold. Will gold bring you any pain? For I won’t accept a word if what I do here will hurt you.”

Thorin blinked, surprised by the question. It honestly hadn’t even occurred to him.

“It does not trouble me,” he said eventually. “If I must leave, I will. But I feel no anger, no pull or guilt.”

Gimli’s face cleared. He appeared both relieved and pleased. “That’s good to hear.”

“I suppose it was a long time ago,” said Thorin haltingly, as though testing whether each word could bear his weight.

Gimli beamed. “It was indeed.”

“Right.” Thorin shook himself. Enough of this indecision and insecurity. The world was breathing anew. “Then let the fire bank down to coals again, while you gather what you need. Do you have water on hand?”

“Water? Oh, for quenching.” Gimli’s face was rueful. “I’m even more lost than I thought.”

“In this, I can most certainly be your guide,” Thorin told him. “Do you have lesser metals, to practice with? Any designs?”

“I’ve some ideas for the design,” Gimli sighed, and he touched the side of his jerkin as though patting it. “I’ve no clue whether they’ll work. I’m trying to combine Elven and Dwarven styles, and I’ve… well, it’s debatable whether or not I’ve succeeded. I have a dab hand for drafting mine-workings and blueprints, but jewellery was Mum’s passion. Gimrís has the fine eye for detail, not me! Damn it all, I don’t even like complicated braids!”

“Nonsense. You play your fiddle with ease, and you have mastered the finest and most intricate forms of war that have ever been invented, and a few that haven’t,” Thorin said briskly. “This is but a different type of detail.”

“You say that now,” Gimli said, a trifle gloomily. “You’ve never seen me. I swing a hammer like it’s an axe. I’ve split metal before.”

“Show me the designs,” Thorin commanded him, ignoring Gimli’s mood. “I can tell you whether they’ll work or not.”

“But–”

“Gimli,” Thorin said, and abruptly he knew where Gimli’s sudden pessimism might hail from, “my star, your father will not disown you, no matter how angry and confused he is. Let us make your marriage-bead, so that he can see how much you love your Elf. When he sees it and hears its tale, he can hold forth no objections on that front.”

Gimli’s eyes were wide, and he swallowed. He twisted his beard in one hand, a nervous action, before blowing out a gusty breath that seemed to come all the way up from his belly. “Right. I know, I know… I just. Ach, there’s nothing to say about it, is there? Let’s have a look then.”

He tugged a few scraps of parchment from his jerkin, smoothing them out upon the anvil. Thorin peered over them, asking Gimli to describe a few details that he could not make out.

“Most of these would work,” he eventually said. “Gimli, I will not hear you disparage your eye again: you have obviously picked up something of your mother’s skills. Gold is too soft to be beaten so thinly as the third design and yet hold its shape, but the rest are feasible indeed. And many are beautiful.”

Gimli harrumphed a little into his beard, shifting between his feet, pleased and a little embarrassed by the praise. “I thank you. You do not dislike the Elven elements?”

“I think them most suitable.” Thorin glanced up, and chuckled at Gimli’s face. “Lad, I carried an Elven sword, remember? I might have held Middle-Earth’s fiercest grudge in life, but that never stopped me from appreciating both skill and beauty where I found it.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

“You will need sculpting tools for this one here, with the leaves twining around the diamond-patterns,” Thorin continued. “We have no stamps nor moulds, and so casting is out of the question. But sculpting I believe you could master.”

Gimli swallowed again. “Your faith in me is humbling, Lord.”

“If you can use my name when you are irritated with me, surely you can use it when you are not?” Thorin prompted him gently. “It’s not such a difficult one to say.”

Gimli wrinkled up his nose, but shrugged nevertheless and said, “fine. All right then Thorin.”

“Then we will begin. First you will need some gold of lesser quality, for your apprentice-efforts. Gold wire, as we will also attempt some wire-weaving patterns, to see if it suits you. Small rasps and files, as narrow as possible. If you can find any that are pointed, so much the better,” Thorin began, ticking off his fingers as rattled off the things Gimli would need to make his marriage-beads.

“Wait, wait, I’ll need to write this down, I’m no Elf to remember all this in one blow!” Gimli exclaimed, scrambling for pen and flipping over the rejected design. “Files… rasps… ceramic bowl… Iorlas has tongs, but do you suppose they will be too large? And you mentioned gold wire …”

Eventually Gimli had it all written down to Thorin’s satisfaction, and he sat back. “Ah, I feel as though I am stepping foot onto a new quest entirely!” he muttered, rubbing his hands upon his thighs. “I hope I prove equal to this one. Thorin, check my list, would you?”

Thorin peered over Gimli’s shoulder at his (surprisingly graceful) handwriting, letting his eyes skim down the list. “Aye, looks to be correct.” Then a snatch of words down the bottom of the page caught his eye. “And what’s this? Some verses? For you are my guiding star / I will never fear tomorrow…

Gimli yelped and snatched up the paper as fast as lightning, tucking it against his chest protectively. “That’s not done yet!”

“Gimli, are you writing Legolas a poem?” Thorin said, rather taken-aback. Though he was fully aware of Gimli’s rather lyrical, eloquent soul, it did not seem entirely like him to write love-poetry.

“A song,” Gimli said, wretchedly, still clutching the paper to his breast. “I wanted to do something for his traditions as well, y’ken? He’s to wear my braids and beads, in the way of our people, so I wished to make something that is Elvish at its soul. He said that Wood-elves are more inclined to singing than to any other music, and t’is true enough that songs come easily to him.”

“That’s very thoughtful,” Thorin said, and resolutely did not mention the hundreds upon hundreds of flower-embossed gifts that cluttered his apartments: garden tools and mirrors and cooking-pots and even a low pot-bellied stove – all conveniently Hobbit-sized. “I recall that you wrote songs for working in the mines, in your youth. How goes it?”

“Not so easily,” Gimli sighed. “A work-song is one thing: all you need is a good strong rhythm to stamp to, an’ a chorus that’s fun to shout. I feel that our story is much… much larger than the two of us.”

“Have you a tune?”

Gimli hummed a phrase, smooth and curling like the loops of Elvish music, steady and rhythmic as the best Dwarvish songs. It tugged at Thorin’s thoughts insistently. He pressed the heel of his hand against his chest, against the new ache there.

“Well, we’ll pass ideas back and forth on it as you craft, eh?” Thorin pushed aside the memories of Bilbo that were rising thick and fast. Gimli’s songcrafting was obviously more skillful than his smithwork, if just a snatch of his tune could touch him so deeply.

“I cannae believe I’m about to be an apprentice again,” Gimli groaned. “I’m nigh one hundred and forty! I’ve my journeymanship in mining and stone-calling, my mastery in weaponscraft!”

“Never too old to begin, my lad,” Thorin told him, and ignored the grumbling complaint that followed. “And what you learn here will help with setting that golden elf-hair you treasure so. Come on, the day’s a-wasting! Neither that bead nor that song shall shape themselves!”

TBC 🙂

Sansûkh – Sneak Peek ch42

OKAY have one more! 

(fyi, I posted a sneak-peek of the Discworld/LOTR crossover earlier YES I AM SHOWERING YOU IN SNEAKY PEEKS) 

i hope you enjoy! I HOPE YOU HAVE AN A++ FRIDAY

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“You knew, then.”

Kíli made a rude noise, deep in his throat. “Of course I know.
Knew. That.”

Thráin sighed, and dumped Custard onto Kíli’s lap. The large
orange-and-white cat gave a questioning meow, before discovering that the
leather of Kíli’s coat was particularly nice to rub her cheek upon.

Kíli’s hands circled about her, almost by reflex, and he
looked up at his grandfather and great-grandmother with confusion in his eyes. “It’s
been eighty years,” he said, his voice rather tight.

“Aye, it has,” Thráin said, and sat down beside Kíli. Hrera
was uncharacteristically quiet as she sat on his other side (though her fingers
did begin to run through his perpetually scruffy hair). “Eighty years, and you
never said a word. Most of us gave no more thought to it, because you seemed…
well, content. Content enough. And you never brought it up, beyond those first
years.”

Kíli’s eyes darted nervously from side to side, before he schooled
them into submission by fixing them upon Custard’s bushy tail. “Well, it didn’t
seem the time. Not with everything else – Thorin and Fee were so – well, you saw, they were wounded. Fee was angry
and swallowing it every day, and Thorin was exploding extremely slowly… and
then Bifur was here, and Nori – and then there was the war, and Frerin needed
us to take over from him when he couldn’t – and so…”

Hrera’s eyebrows were raised meaningfully at her son. Thráin
nodded and waved a hand in response. “There’s a lot you do that nobody sees,
isn’t there?” he said. “A lot you hide behind your carefree sunny smiles, my
lad. Does Fíli know?”

Kíli’s gaze dropped once more. “Most of it. Not all.”

Hrera shifted around in her seat, both her hands rising to separate
out the strands for a braid upon Kíli’s left temple. “Do you know who else in
our family hides such things?” she said, her voice lacking its usual proud
bite. “And no, it’s not your uncle, forever wearing his heart in his scabbard
or in his eyes. Not your mother, either, our songbird who lost her voice for
grief.”

“Not I, neither,” Thráin said, as Kíli gave him a dubious
look. “Not likely! The one who took us to war for vengeance and set out alone to
seek our lost glory? You’ve my recklessness, to be sure. But I’ve not held my
heart so close and quiet in my life, not even as a child. That was a lesson I
learned once I was long dead.”

Kíli blinked between them, even as Custard rubbed her head
beneath his chin. “So, who?”

“You and I have something in common after all, great-grandson,”
Hrera said, her hazel eyes moist and soft. “You and I can hide our breaking
hearts, and never show a sign of it. My armour might be dresses and jewels, and
yours might be jokes and smiles, but in the end it is all the same. Frerin has
a touch of it, as does Dáin… but the rest are hopelessly transparent. I’d never
have expected such circumspection of you. Your braids are, after all, a
disgrace.”

“Amad,” said Thráin, sighing.

“Well, they are,” she muttered, and smoothed down Kíli’s tangles
with a gentle hand.

“Look, I’m all right, I’m well enough,” said Kíli, rather
dazedly. Hrera’s presence always made him feel pre-emptively guilty, as though
anticipating a scolding. “And I think that was a compliment, so thank you. Possibly.
What’s brought all this on?”

“Thranduil found the cairn,” Thráin said. And winced.

“And once he’d seen her, seen what she came to, he chose to
send food to Erebor,” added Hrera. “I wouldn’t have thought it true, even
though I beheld it with my own two eyes. He didn’t know what had happened to
her – your Elf, I mean. But you did. Didn’t you?”

“Amad!” Thráin said, rather more sharply, as Kíli sucked in
a short and trembling breath. “Let’s just sit together for a moment, shall we?”

And so they did. Hrera stroked Kíli’s mad, tangled hair,
ordering it to her satisfaction with tender fingers. Kíli’s own hands buried
deep into Custard’s cloud of orange fur, and the purr was louder than the roar
of the fire.

Thráin’s hand landed upon Kíli’s shoulder, where it stayed.
Hard and huge, stable and firm as the earth itself, and Kíli felt himself grow steadier
under its weight.

“I knew,” he said eventually. His voice whispered and
cracked. “Of course I did. I watched as she grew weak and worn like no Elf ever
does, ever. Her hair grew thin, her eyes were lined, and for her sake I cursed
myself and my birth and that she had ever met me. For my sake, I couldn’t – can’t- regret that I had known her – I can’t
regret that for a minute. She was starlight in the darkness, for such a short
time. Yet it was so bright, and so… so pure.”

Kili closed his eyes tightly, and his shoulders squared as
he inhaled. “And so. Yes, I knew, and I saw. She wouldn’t let herself fade. She
was a warrior, my Tauriel. And she fought it, fought herself inside and out and
wouldn’t let it win.”

“You knew where she’d gone,” said Thráin. It was not a
question: there was no pushing for answers. Thráin simply waited for confirmation,
and kept his hand where it was, anchoring his grandson to the quiet and the
peace and the feel of hands in his hair, the fur and warmth against his chest.

“Aye.” Kíli licked his dry lips, and then closed his
eyes. “She nearly did it, too. Died with a blade in her hand, died facing evil.
She wouldn’t let it grow stronger than her, no matter how weak she became. Never. But that is all I have known,
that and an endless futile longing. Because now she’s somewhere I cannot see.”

“There’s tales enough of Elves, and how they are bound to
the world even after they die,” said Thráin. “She won’t be gone forever.”

“Long enough,” Kíli sighed. “But I’ll wait. I’d wait longer,
if I had to. What did we have? Three, perhaps four days? How pathetic – how inadequate! If I was someone else, I’d
laugh at me. Wait, no… no I wouldn’t.” The look in his dark eyes was grim and
bleak. “I’d weep, because it is all so unfair, just so terribly and horribly unfair. So no, I won’t accept it, it’s not right. I’ll wait until it is right.
I’ll wait until the end of the world, if it means I have one more day at her
side.”

“I’m sure the Maker can do better by you than that,” said
Hrera. Her cheeks were wet, eyelashes clumping. Her back did not bend, and she
made no move to dash at her eyes. “So, is this the drive behind all your
persistence?”

Kíli’s smile was thready, a shadow of his normal impish grin.
“Um, a little bit. I suppose. Well, if Mahal could be persuaded to bring Bilbo
here, then why not others? Why not me?”

“But he didn’t, did he,” said Thráin. Again, there was no
force behind the question.

“Nope,” Kíli shrugged one shoulder, and Custard let out a ‘mrrrilll!’ of annoyance at the movement.
“He can’t. He said so. Bilbo is a Hobbit, and must depart to wherever Hobbits
go, to be with his kin as we are with ours. And Tauriel is an Elf, and…
anyway. He saw through me, of course. No use trying to hide from him. Still, it was fun at the time. I
think I turned a few of his mighty hairs white!”

“I’m sure you did,” said Thráin, his mouth quirking. “No
doubt about it.”

“Unacceptable. I’m sure that something can be done,” said Hrera, frowning. “It’s terribly untidy
to have all these sundered lovers moping about the place.”

“Amad!” Thráin growled, and turned to Kíli, ignoring his
mother entirely. “Your lady-love was a brave, brave lass, grandson,” he said. “A
lady worth waiting eternity for. And we’ll all wait with you, until you’re
together once more. Believe in that, at least.”

Kíli smiled faintly once more, and this time it was tinged
with pride. “Wasn’t she something?”

“Dreadful organisation,” Hrera muttered.  “Simply shocking. They may be in charge of all
that is and ever will be, but by my beard, I wouldn’t make them responsible for
the seating at a banquet! Tsk. Intolerable
and inconvenient in the extreme. I’ve a piece of my mind to give to these-”

Amad!”


(TBC)


Sansûkh Sneak Peeks! Yes! Two of them!

so I’m really conscious of the fact that I’ve been unable to update for AGES

and not just the behemoth, but anything, and I’m feeling super guilty and super-cruddy about it, I am so sorry

(Mr Dets now works one week in Sydney, and one week at home, and this shit is HARD but augh I know, okay I know I have a life and kid and work-that-is-very-demanding and 99% of you are beautiful and undemanding and just so supportive, but i still feel like a squished sultana about this)

all I seem to be able to concentrate on lately fandom-wise is composition tbh

So, here’s TWO sneaky peeks for you. Two! Bc I adore you all, and I am feeling bad about my general absentness/unavailability/fleeting visits

FIRST!

here is the WHOLE mp3 (not live recording, sadly, just the musescore export.. though I did install a decent soundfont) of ‘Light on the Horizon’. Yes. Whole thing. 

This is my current baby. It’s easily the most complicated thing I’ve ever written (YO NINA @ninayasmijn THERE IS A HARP PART!! dang do I hope it is playable tho!). And I’m both anxious and proud of it and i cannot stop with the goddamn tweaking

This song is gonna mark a very emotional & significant point in the story. I’m not gonna release the score just yet bc I am keeping the lyrics a big big shhh 

tho frankly? i probably will if you badger me privately I CURRENTLY LIVE TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THIS PIECE 

So yeah, SATB, strings, trumpet, harp, timpani (ALSO CELLO, HEY THERE @the-dragongirl!). The voices are being represented here by woodwinds, bc I hate hate hate the ‘Choir Ahhs’ in any soundfont ever made. I hope you give it a listen and enjoy it! 

augh *nervous*

SECOND!

Here’s a snippet of the WIP of ch42. I’ve only done two to three edits on this so far, and it’s not polished! But it’s mostly built 🙂

ONWARDS WITHOUT FURTHER KERFUFFLE


“They’re awake!” came the glad shout, echoing through the
Halls. “They’re awake!”

Thorin’s head snapped up from his work. He had been staring
blankly at the set of garden tools he was making, idly wondering which flowers
to carve upon the handles. Upon hearing the call, his heart leapt high in his
chest.

“They’re awake!” came Fili’s joyous voice, soaring through
every corridor and room. “Both of them! They’ve made it!”

“Nadad, do you hear!” Frerin came barrelling into his
workroom, and Thorin caught him by the shoulders before he crashed into the
bench. His face was smiling so broadly, he seemed like the young Dwarf he had
been before the Battle once again. “They’ve come through it!”

“How could anyone not hear Fili and Kili making that
racket,” he said, smiling back. “Want to go see?”

“Yes!” Frerin grabbed at his arm and tugged him away.
Laughing, Thorin followed obediently.

When the light cleared, they could hear Sam grumbling. “Why
should we put on those nasty things again? Honourable my foot. I’d prefer comfortable, an’ something that doesn’t
stink quite so much of Orc. Why’s Gandalf making us put these on again? I’ve
had rags with more thread on ‘em.”

“Come on, Sam,” came Frodo’s quiet, tired voice. At least it
sounded like there was a smile in the words, thought Thorin worriedly. He
blinked away the starlight as swiftly as he could, and saw Sam lifting the
orc-shirt he had worn in Mordor before him. “Put it on, it shan’t be for long.”

“Why should they put on those dreadful things again?” Frerin
wondered.

“Because, Samwise Gamgee,” came the old, dry voice of
Gandalf. “These things should be seen.”

“I don’t get it,” Frerin said, giving the wizard a deeply
suspicious look. “Can’t they leave that behind them?”

“Nay, I think I understand,” Thorin said, and he watched as
Frodo slowly shrugged the uruk-jerkin, the scar on his shoulder briefly
visible. “If they were to step outside, clean and bright of eye, clad in fine
clothes, none watching would ever suspect the full extent of what they have
been through. These things should be given honour; the whole world should know
what conditions this quest took them to, and give them thanks. Gandalf is
right.”

“Will wonders never cease,” said Frerin, and he shivered as
Sam cringed away from the orc-shirt against his clean skin. “Brr, I shouldn’t
like to put that back on either.”

“Don’t like to,” Sam muttered, but he picked up the battered
helm and clapped it upon his head nevertheless.

“Come along,” Gandalf said, gently. “Just for now. Then they
shall be preserved, and I shall find you some other clothes.”

“Preserved!” Sam said, his mouth falling open in
astonishment. Gandalf looked back at him, grave and steady.

“No silks and linens, nor any armour or heraldry
could be more honourable.”

Sam stared at him a moment, and then shook
his head. “Glory and trumpets,” he said in an aside to Frodo. “That’s a thing,
isn’t it Mister Frodo! Preserving these old orc-rags.”

“Hurry as much as you can, my dear Hobbits,”
said Gandalf. “The King is awaiting you.”

Thorin and Frerin followed the three from the
tent where they had lain, out beyond the beech grove some distance from the
rest of the encampment. Over a green lawn, and then into a small wood they
walked in silence, listening to the calls of birds and drinking in the
sunshine. Frodo turned his face up to the light, and he let out a sigh. The
sounds of the trickling river came to Thorin’s ears, and he breathed in.

Eventually they came to an opening in the
wood, where tall trees made an archway down towards the distant glimmer of
water. There were moored many ships, bobbing lazily with the tide, and before
them stood a huge host of Men. Their ranks glittered in the sun.

“Mister Frodo?” Sam whispered.

“Hold my hand, Sam,” Frodo whispered back.

It did not begin all at once. Like a growing
wave, gathering momentum, the Men began to shout and roar with joy, their
swords leaping from their scabbards in a salute. The wave passed on and on as
the Hobbits walked through their ranks. Trumpets and horns sang, their notes
rising into the air. People were singing, people were crying. Many bowed as
Frodo and Sam passed them by, so deeply that their heads nearly touched the
earth.

“Thank you,” came the words, over and over:
gasped, sobbed, shouted. “Thank you, thank you, thank you-”

“Something like this, you mean?” Frerin said,
leaning up to Thorin’s ear in order to be heard over the din.

Thorin smiled, and flung an arm over his
brother’s shoulder, tucking him against his side and giving him an affectionate
shake. “Something like.”

The formless roar was beginning to take
shape, the songs beginning to coalesce into one, and overall the words could
just be made out:

‘Long live
the Halflings! Praise them with great praise!
Cuio i
Pheriain anann! Aglar’ni Pheriannath!
Praise
them with great praise, Frodo and Samwise!
Daur a
Berhael, Conin en Annûn! Eglerio!
Praise
them!
Eglerio!
A laita
te, laita te! Andave laituvalmet!
Praise
them!
Cormacolindor,
a laita tárienna!
Praise
them! The Ring-bearers, praise them with great praise!’

“If my Gaffer could see me now,” Sam said,
blushing brighter than Thorin had ever seen.

“Look!” said Frodo, and he was wide-eyed. He
pointed through the throng with his maimed hand to where three high seats had
been placed, banners snapping and curling over them. The left was green
emblazoned a white horse running. The right was blue, and upon it a swan-ship
plunged into frothing waves.

But the middle chair was – “Sam! Just look!”

There was a Man seated upon the middle seat,
and the mithril-threaded standard behind him glowed like the morning star. He was
clad in mail, but he wore no helm. His short beard was clipped neatly, and he
was smiling at them.

Behind the throne stood two odd, disparate
figures: one broad and low and red, the other tall, slender and golden-white.

“Well? Go on,” said Gandalf, behind them.

Frodo did not hesitate, but ran as fast as he
was able to meet the Man, who was standing as they drew near. Sam was only a
breath behind as always, and the two Hobbits nearly flung themselves at Aragorn
as they tumbled over the hastily-dug steps.

“Well, if that isn’t the crown of all!” Sam
said, clinging to him. “Strider, or I’m still asleep!”

“Yes, Sam, Strider,” said
Aragorn, and he knelt down to look into the Hobbits’ faces, taking their hands.
“It is a long way, is it not, from Bree, where you did not like the look of me?
A long way for us all but yours has been the darkest road.”

And then with utter reverence and
respect, he bowed his head low before them.

Sam’s face went totally,
completely slack, and Frerin giggled at his confusion and awe.

Then Aragorn stood, still holding
their hands, and with Frodo upon his right and Sam upon his left, he led them
to the throne. He set them upon it, and turned to the vast host and spoke, his
voice ringing like a drum:

“Praise them with great praise!”

The ensuing roar was thunderous.

“I wish Bilbo were here to see this,” Thorin
murmured, as Frodo’s eyes shimmered.

When the echoes had finally died
away, a minstrel stepped forward with a fiddle in hand. “Lord, I beg leave to
sing?” he said.

“Only if Mister Frodo’s up for
it, mind,” Sam said, and Aragorn laughed.

“Mind your audience, master. But
it would please me.”

“Aye, just the moment for a song
an’ a dance, and most definitely an ale.
We’ve a score to settle, ghivasha,” came a low rumble from behind the throne. A
hissed, ‘shhh, Gimli! This is a solemn
occasion
!’ answered it.

The minstrel struck his fiddle
for his note, and then called out over the throng, “Lo! lords and knights and
men of valour unashamed, kings and princes, and fair people of Gondor, and
Riders of Rohan, and ye sons of Elrond, and Dúnedain of the North, and Elf and
Dwarf, and greathearts of the Shire, and all free folk of the West, now listen
to my lay. For I will sing to you of Frodo of the Nine Fingers and the Ring of
Doom.”

At that, Sam buried his face in
his hands and shook. Aragorn seemed concerned, until Sam finally lifted his
head and he was laughing and weeping all at once, the tears dripping down his
cheeks. “O great glory and splendour! And all my wishes have come true!”

And all there gathered laughed
and wept along with him, and the song of the minstrel was the most beautiful and
sorrowful they had yet heard.

Now it feels like it’s finally
over,” Frerin said, and there were tears standing in his bright blue eyes. Yet
he was smiling from ear to ear.

“Aye,” said Thorin softly. “The
world has breathed out, at long last.”

Re: Sneak Peak 2 – Loving the letter fomat! Poor Leggy. I can feel the anxiety radiating off that letter. All those false starts and cautious wording. (Also Poor Laindawar – all those short jokes XD) Gimli’s letter is absolutely everything and makes me so incredibly happy.

HELLO THERE HOOPY FROOD, HOW YOU BEEN *hugs*

yeah, Legolas is a lot more cautious than Gimli. Like, a lot. A LOT. It’s not that he’s more afraid? He’s doing this, after all, he’s putting pen to paper and writing it down, which is a very brave thing to do. But he has over 2000 years of family history with these people, and he is a prince, he has a high station to uphold… and he knows what his father has lost. nnngh idk, I wanted to find the young Legolas in that letter, the child we see in Midwinter. Like all his years and layers strip away. These are people he’s always looked up to, and he is

almost more

frightened of disappointment than he is of disapproval. 

Gimli has plenty of trepidation too – but he’s very much of the ‘RIP THE BAND-AID OFF IN ONE GO, FAST AS POSSIBLE’ school of thought, lmao!!! “here’s the situation, I know you’re gonna hate it, someone stop Bofur laughing, do it for me please.” End of story. 

he’ll chew it endlessly in his own mind, of course. But as he said before, what can be more scary than facing the entire horde of Mordor without a hope of victory? he’s totally riding on wings of HOLY SHIT WE WON, SOMEONE BUY ME A LOTTERY TICKET, audacious little thing!

HAHAHAHAHAHA LAINDAWAR THE GRUMPY TERRIER ELF AND HIS TEASING TALL YOUNGER BROS welp I’m definitely shorter than him, so he’d be able to look down his long aristocratic nose at me as well 🙂