willyshakeyspear:

doopeyslunt:

These are ones I hear and use on a daily basis. There are hundreds more but they’re not as commonly used as people might think – these are.
I may have missed a few because I did not realise it was specific to Australia. (Like bogan, I thought that was worldwide until my other half told me otherwise)

shits and giggles – for the hell of it / why not / because I could.
“Why on earth would you pour custard down his pants!?”
“Shits and giggles.”

cracked the shit – got angry very suddenly / completely lost it
“So what happened?”
“I don’t know man, she just randomly cracked the shit.”

thongs – jandals. flip flops. those rubber shoe things that have the bit that goes in between your big toe and second toe.

bludger – generally lazy person / that one ass hole at the party who makes the most mess yet none of the cleaning / almost a lazier version of a mooch

bogan – someone who generally does not bother with personal appearance or hygiene / unemployed bludger / those people who look like they should have stinky lines and flies

bloody oath – fuck yes / i wholeheartedly agree my friend, you are most certainly right, there is no possible way I could agree with you more heartily right now; but more vulgar / equivalent to an American “Fuckin’ A”

Bloke – generally just means male / but has evolved to the fact you can use it as a decription meaning very butch, outdoorsy or a friendly term of endearment.
“Yeah he’s a real blokey kinda guy.” – butch
“Yeah he’s a good bloke.” – endearment

Sheila – generally means female / but once again has evolved into a decription meaning the idealistic housewife or someone who looks extremely damn hot but in an athletic, tan, big boobed lets go hiking in the woods type way.
“Whoa, check out that Sheila.” – looks
“Yeah, she’s a damn good Sheila.” – housewifey

bored shitless – bored but they need you to know it’s gone past normal boredom / the kind of boredom you get when your on a road trip by yourself and the radio or mp3 cord doesn’t work

piss up – party involving alcohol

shits me to tears – extremely frustrated / beyond angry / can be used about a situation or about a person 
“All these road works shits me to tears" – situation
“He shits me to tears so much that I think I may just slit his throat" – person

cark(ed) it – died.

hey – this isn’t necessarily slang but we do use it somewhat differently. We tend to use it as a “aye!” or “yeah?!” or “right?!” like a question of “you agree? / get what I mean” at the end of the sentence. Can also be used as ‘so you know.’ I just remember when I first came over I was quite confused because it sounded like everyone was trying to get my attention at the end of their sentence instead of the start.
“It was amazing, hey!” – more like a silent question if you agree
“I’m so pissed off, hey.” – statement

chunder – vomit.

cactus – not functioning / damn bloody useless / just pretty much shit
“This dildo is cactus" 

dag – a goof / that funny person who can be somewhat slow on the joke / that person who will get on the dance floor and purposely do the worst possible moves they can.
“So I accidentally slapped someone with my hair today because I thought it would be funny to WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH.”
“You’re such a dag”
can also be meant as an insult, generally towards strangers if they’re an idiot but not with any friendly feelings strung along with it.
“Look at that dag singing along to Justin Bieber”
Can also be used as ‘daggy’ which means somewhat scruffy clothes, the type of clothes you wear around the house when you’re not expecting anyone.

spit the dummy – refer to cracked the shits

absolutely spewing – pretty pissed off / i cannot believe it I’m so annoyed / usually used for annoyance rather than anger
“Someone wore the exact same outfit as me to the piss up, I was absolutely spewing!”

durry – cigarette

esky – chilly bin / cooler / that insulated bucket case type thing you take when you go camping and put ice in it to keep your drinks cool

off your face / off chops – extremely drunk
“DUDE, you were OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE!”

hit the piss / get on the piss – lets go get drunk / start drinking / can also be used in past tense to getting drunk

shonky – dodgy

ripper – kind of used more by older Australians but basically means amazing, great, awesome. Can also be used for a person.
“You bloody ripper!” – person
“Oh that was a ripper of a catch!” – general term

trackie dacks – sweat pants / track suit / give up on life pants

shits sake – for fucks sake, we just like the word shit better

geezer – we generally don’t use this in reference to old man like most, we use it to mean had a look.
“I could hear some weird noises so went and took a geezer and a snake tried to bite off my face.”

squiz – refer to geezer

doona – duvet / bedspread

root – have sex with

G’day – Okay if you don’t know what G’day means then I’m about 99% sure you don’t what the fuck Australia is.

off your rocker – completely insane

rubber – IS AN ERASER YOU DIRTY MINDED LITTLE FUCKERS.

No one here uses the word shrimp. We call it a prawn. I’ve no idea where the original theory we say ‘shrimp’ came from.

goon – this is a disgusting boxed wine that is so damn cheap and revolting it’s like grapes vomited and some dick weed decided to box it and sell it in the wine section. Generally associated with bogans.

piss farting around – fucking around / not really doing anything / slacking off
“He was supposed to be serving the customers but I found him piss farting around in the back so I fired the bludger.”

drop bears – a unified Asutralian secret that we use on tourists.

things like sickie, aussie, mozzie, rollie, sunnies, pressie, brekkie, pommie all that sort of shit is just the word shorted with an ‘ie’ on the end.
Example, the words just mentioned are sick day, Australian, mosquito, rolled cigarette, sunglasses, present, breakfast, Englishman / British.

Want to know your Australian name?
Take your name, shorten it, and add an ‘O’ or ‘IE’ or ‘Y’ to it.
John – Jonno.
James – Jimmy / Jimbo
Rodney – Rod / Roddo / Roddie
Joshua – Joshie
Dewayne – Dewayney

If it cannot work with your first name we usually revert to doing it with your other given names or last name.
You can even do it with peoples nick names.
For example, a friend we nick named Mooch became Moochy.
Easiest way to follow this rule is to make it as obnoxious as possible and your set.

Have fun

The shrimp thing was Paul Hogan’s fault