glumshoe:

Fantasy world in which Dwarves are not motivated by greed or love of gold, only by a profound scientific enthusiasm for geology.

@scarletjedi @determamfidd @kooriicolada

Aragorn is King of Done. So done. He’s tempted to change his name again to reflect his done-ness. All the done.

Aragorn the second, also known as…

Elessar
Strider
Thorongil
Envinyatar
Edhelharn
the Elfstone
Estel
Wingfoot
Telcontar
Dúnadan
done forever with idiot Elves and Dwarves

…the King of Gondor, Arnor and Done.

ridersofbrohon:

legobiwan:

butlerbookbinding:

laughterkey:

ohmygodwaytoolong:

ohmygodwaytoolong:

cracked:

It turns out that in the music industry, insane perverts have always been the norm.

Why The World Of Classical Music Is Secretly Insane

We made a NEW CRACKED SHOW about QUIETLY AWESOME THINGS! Special thanks to Miki Matteson, @abeepp, Christina Newhall, Dustin Parsons, and my mom.

HEY: if you’d like to see a future episode of Everything Boring Is Awesome about a particular subject, lemme know! I’m open to suggestions. Please e-mail suggestions to: alex [dot] schmidt [at] cracked [dot] com.

OH MAN I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS

@shona-the-lady-king

HAHAHA

As someone who is…intimately familiar with this particular subject matter and the industry, let me tell you that all that hoity-toity stuff is surface-level only and that classical music has always been nuts and filled with murderers (looking at you, Gesualdo), druggies (Berlioz…) and all kinds of nutball people (Stockhausen and his Helicopter Quartet, which is literally a string quartet played in four separate helicopters in the air I mean honestly, Karlheinz).

@determamfidd

I just. Love Haban&Narvi so much??? I just want like, all the fic about them. All of it. Also, would very much like to know where Narvi’s family/other friends are. does she have other friends from when she was alive? or did they all make one too many snarky comments about being friends with an elf bc that would be wayyyyy too sad even though now she has other friends who understand elf friendship and god I still need the Kili and Narvi Elf Appreciation Club aka mostly drinking. And bitching.

YEAH HABAN AND NARVI ❤ huffy impatient genius and her bestie, the savvy, shrewd businesswoman ftw.

Oooooh dang – well, Narvi’s family exist, but they are Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic. However, the awesome @christmashippo has given Narvi a whole family, including siblings! And they are brilliant, so you should go check out Hippo’s Narvi tag 🙂

The Kili and Narvi Elf Appreciation Club and Drinking Society is so, SO definitely a thing. Damn, now I wanna write a one-shot about that!

It’s just the two of them, drinking and saying ‘EARS, RIGHT?’ and ‘LEGS. FOR. DAYS.’ and ‘did yours do the thing with the staring and no-blinking too?’ and sighing a lot. There is most definitely also bitching, lots of bitching.

They routinely bicker over who is president of the Society. According to Narvi, she was appreciating Elves first. According to Kili, the Club was his idea.

(Azaghal is an honourary member for ~~life~~ death. Gimli has been added in-absentia, also )

smaaugg:

x

still rereading. and. well. ch 41. Dain’s comment about his pigs being housetrained. I just imagined those giant pigs using a flush toilet and cannot even. bwahahahahahahaha

PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(I was imagining more like dogs, going outside or whatever, but now I am wondering – WOULD THEY HAVE LITTER TRAYS???)

earendil-was-a-mariner:

Galadriel: And for you, Legolas, I give this bow of Lothlorien. Do me a favor and after the war show it to your father so he can see what real elvish crafts look like.

whereisfili:

*passive aggressive Australian voice* listen…mate

Flower shop AU

nixhil:

koscheiis:

shenko:

demisexualmerrill:

Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Omfg

MY TIME HAS COME

so you’d need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing.

im no Florist but I thought I’d try my hand at such a beautiful gift of absolute loathing