Someone: So what is your biggest fear?
Me: Peter Jackson is allowed to make a movie adaptation of the Silmarillion. All the characters are white dudes. There are 45 parts and still all the relevant plot is left out. Lúthien is turned into Action Girl who will need saving during the climax. Mîm is only there for comic relief. Feanor is shown 0.2 seconds during the prologue. Everybody who is not in the Lay of Leithian or the Narn gets erased. Somehow, Legolas is there.
IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS AND YOU’RE ANY MUSIC CLASS, WATCH IT I HAVEN’T LAUGHED SO HARD IN MONTHS. IF YOU’RE IN BAND, ORCHESTRA OR CHOIR WATCH THIS MASTERPIECE.
my level of fanfiction productivity ranges from “typing 20,000 words over the span of 3 days” or “opening a document and staring at it for a year without typing anything at all.” there is no middle ground.
Okay, so maybe the film guide says he was born in TA 87, but looking at clues from HOME and the Silmariilion, he’s at the very most a bit over 2000 years old at time of The Fellowship of the Ring. He’s the youngest elf that we know about in that time period. ARWEN is older than him. He’s creeped out by Fangorn being so old but he calls all mortals children because he’s a little shit.
Tolkien would get super pissed off when Legolas was shown in illustrations as “pretty or lady-like” and insisted that he was the biggest, roughest, toughest of the elves and the most hardcore of the Fellowship. Legolas is like the freaking Schwarzenegger of the elves, nbd.
Best friend is a dwarf whose father was literally imprisoned by Legolas’ father and yet he still brought him to the Undying Lands for the most awkward family reunion because screw you Thranduil. And let me remind you that a) Gimli is the only, only dwarf who got to make the trip and Legolas invited him. Other people had to get permission from like the literal Valar and Legolas was like I want to bring my mortal bff yeah he wasn’t a ringbearer but whatevs. Also b) most of the people who left in TA 3201 went on like these fleets of beautiful vessels with a master shipbuilder but Legolas was like nope, going to build one myself, never built one before but it can’t be that hard, right?
While Sindarin is the most common Elvish language by the time Legolas is alive, it’s considered really ugly and and unrefined, but here Legolas is running around probably not even able to speak the language of his ancestors, and I imagine him super proud of what must sound like an awful accent to his people.
Also super explains how useless he was at Moira trying to decipher the door because he doesn’t have time to deal with those snobs.
All the Fellowship got useful gifts or ones with spiritual meaning but instead Galadriel was like no, Legolas, I’m going to give you this big ass bow that’s bigger than the Mirkwood ones and it’s going to be so sick yeah it’s like taller than you are BUT ITS GOING TO LOOK SO SWEET.
are you telling me that Legolas is like… the baby gay dudebro redneck of the elves?
yes my friend, that is exactly what I am telling you
I got Jar Jar Binks, which I feel is unfair and mean. Mace Windu and a tie between Jyn, Orson, and Cassian were my runner up results. All my favorite characters such as Anakin, Luke, Finn, and Padme were at the very bottom with one or two matches.
Hmm. I guess I really would just be the annoying fangirl jumping around the cool kids going “look at me” so perhaps I cannot protest too hard.
Apparently I’m Cassian Andor. And the runner up was Leia.
Nice.
Obi-Wan with Rey being a close second!
Jyn Erso. Runner-up was Obi-Wan Kenobi, and then Jango Fett.
Aw Yiss 