This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.
some stagehand probably: mr. tchaikovsky sir we cant actually hit the drum this hard it will break the instrument
potyr ilyich tchaikovsky, wheeling a cannon into the theater: does it look like i give a fuck, johann
Gandalf’s encounter with the Balrog was terrifying for the rest of the Fellowship, but for Gandalf it was probably just super awkward. Like running into an ex-coworker that you hate. Legolas is all, “Ai! Ai! A balrog!” And Gandalf is like, “dammit, not fucking Greg again.”
I’ve had this post saved up for days, waiting to release it when I ran out of other posts, because this is easily the greatest thing I have ever voiced, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to top it
please do keep sending me stuff! I’ve really enjoyed doing this the last couple of months, and even though there’s still more to come, it’s mostly down to dumb luck, and the well is going to dry up real soon
Aw Yiss 