Tag: stuff to make laughs

CAN I MARRY YOUR FIC? I swear I’ll treat it right. I’ll love and cherish it for the rest of my lif–existence (see what I did there? ;). I mean, if someone can legally marry the Eiffel Tower then I should totally be able to marry your story, amirite? If not the fic itself, then maybe Gimris? Oh, but she’s spoken for, drat. :( TBH? I just want to hug your fic and never, ever let go, because it’s beautiful and brilliant and I’m still so completely in awe over it I can’t even think straight. <3

PFFFTHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOODNESS NONNIE I MADE A RHINOCEROUS-SNORT SORT OF SOUND HAHAHAHAHAHA – I now pronounce you Nonnie and Fic! 

I am so flattered and glad you like it, thank you so so much! And eeee, Gimris ❤ I am THRILLED you like her! 

Heh, Bofur would totally understand: he believes that nearly everyone should want to marry Gimris, because she is just THAT amazing – but he’s the lucky old sod that did! 

*hugs and hugs* Aaaaah Nonnie, thank you! Thank you so, so much!

Discworld Politics

Vetinari: You have two cows. You convince them they will better off with you alive and in control than not.
Sam Vimes: You have two cows. They are probably guilty of something. Loitering, probably.
Young Sam: Where are your cows? Those goes “baah.” Those are sheep. They are not your cows.
Moist von Lipwig: You steal two cows. You convince everyone they are made of gold and sell them for a fortune. You get arrested and become Minister of Agriculture.
Tiffany Aching: You have two cows. An elf tries to steal them and you hit it with a frying pan.
Nac Mac Feegle: Someone has two cows. You steal them, then fight them, then fight yourself. You win.
Rincewind: You run away from cows.
Unseen University: You have two cows. One is caught up in a magical accident and is now a chair. The other has become a professor.
Sybil Ramkin: You have many cows. They aren’t dragons, so you don’t care. You have 37 dragons.
Nanny Ogg: You have a cow and a bull. You enjoy explaining how they will make more cows.
Granny Weatherwax: You wish Gytha would stop explaining how you get cows.
King Verence: You try to create an economic plan for your country based on bovine products; your people are too busy listening to Nanny Ogg.

How to Use a Semicolon

poplitealqueen:

Sit the fuck down, kids. It’s time to learn something.

Ever wondered how you could use this nice, spicy piece of punctuation mark without looking like a dumbass? Here’s an easy, fandom-esque version of doing just that!

First of all, what the fuck is a semicolon for? A semicolon is used to indicate a pause, much like a period or a comma. The difference is that the pause isn’t quite as long as an end mark, nor as brief as the pause of a comma. It’s nice and comfortable in the middle, like the smallest character in your OT3 after the big fuckapalooza chapter.

How the Hell do you use a semicolon? Simple! Here’s a few rules to live by:

*Use a semicolon to separate independent clauses not linked by a coordinating conjunction ( things like this: and, but, or…)

Example: Chirrut believes in the power of the Force; Baze believes in the power of really fucking OP blaster cannons.

*Use a semicolon to separate independent clauses connected by a conjunctive adverb such as however, therefore, nevertheless, furthermore, and consequently.

Example: Gimli and Legolas fucked constantly during their Quest with Aragorn; however, the two swear up and down that they are not a couple.

*Use a semicolon in a series with internal punctuation. In a complex series, it may be hard for readers to know if commas are a part of items or separating the items. In such cases, semicolons can be used to separate the items.

Example: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have made out all across the galaxy, but especially all over Coruscant, from the Jedi Temple to Palpatine’s office; on Naboo, in the Lake Country; and on Tatooine, on top of the Skywalker Angst Hill.

*Use a semicolon between independent clauses if commas are in one or both of the clauses.

Example: Hera loves Ahsoka, that strong, mysterious former Jedi; and best of all, Ahsoka loves her, too.

I hope that was informative for you! Remember, punctuation can make or break your writing. Use it wisely.

(Special thanks to Grammar Sucks – What to Do to Make Your Writing Much More Better by Joanne Kimes & Gary Robert Muschla for having such a fantastic section on punctuation.)

softdirks:

the best lord of the rings thing ive seen is the headcanon that gimli is like Prince Tier of beauty for dwarves and is absolutely stunning and legolas is like, for an elf, absolute butt ugly like relatively and everyones always like gimli how could you marry such a shit tier ugly ass elf and gimli is like ach.. nae…i love him